Finishing the rest of what happened during Homemaker Week (oh horrors)
Ok, after the family planning disaster we had sewing. Guess what? I'm just about as good with a sewing machine as I am with a frying pan.
"Why don't you take our child first, Ri-Ri-tan?" asked Nagihiko.
"Stop calling it our child!" I hissed. "And because it hates my guts."
He snorted.
Textiles
So we're making tote bags. Tote bags are easy, right?
No. I can't even thread my sewing machine!
"The Pfaff HATES me!" I whined.
"It's not a Pfaff, it's a sewing machine," the teacher told me.
"but it says 'Pfaff' at the top so I'm naming it Pfaff."
The teacher gave up.
"Amu!" I cried. "I need help. The stupid needle isn't moving at all."
She tried moving the hand control. It didn't budge.
"oh. I don't know," she said, sounding very flustered. "why won't it move?"
"I don't know, either!."
"Why don't you ask Nagi?" "Nagi" was – big surprise – already finished. Geez. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was a boy disguised as a girl.
That would be really funny. And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. That's what having a twin sister does to you!
"Ri-Ri-tan, I see you're off in la-la land with that journal again. What the hell did you do to your machine?"
I gave him an evil look. "the thing is perfectly fine. Why don't you go back to your wife, the Pfaff 1548?"
"very funny. Would you like to see what's wrong with your sewing machine?"
"NO."
But he did anyway. He pressed some fiddly diddly button that only a watchmaker would know about and opened up the compartment where the thread below was. It was a mess. It looked totally like a kajillion drunk spiders had gotten in there and started weaving up a storm.
"ha!" he laughed rather humorlessly. "yes. Your machine is just fine."
"really?"
"sarcasm."
I took us both fifteen minutes to untangle the mess. (us = Nagihiko does all the work and I sit there and make "helpful" comments).
"Okay," he sighed. "because we only have forty-five minutes left, I'm going to have to help you."
"Oh, no! I'm sure you'd rather be slacking off."
And then, to my utter horror, he put his hands on top of mine and started moving them. "Rima. Stop putting your hands there."
"why?"
"there right in the way of the needle. Didn't you know that?"
"no."
He moved them back, and I felt really really sick.
"put your foot on the pedal."
"what? What pedal?"
It was a long, long, long textiles class.
Family Planning
"MAAAAAAAASHIIIIIIROOOO!!!" yelled Mrs. Psycho. "HOW HAS YOUR PARENTING BEEN GOING?"
"ish."
"ISH IS NOOOOOTT A WOOOORRDDD!!! OH, HOW FRRIIIIIGHHTTTFULLL!!!"
"well, we've had some custody issues."
"IT'S JOINT CUSTODY, YOU BAKA, BAKA GIRL! YOU HAVE NO CHOICE! "
"er, not really. It's more I don't want to carry the egg around but I swear Fujisaki doesn't mind."
"HORRIBLLLEE!!!! HORRIBLLLEE!!!!" screamed Ms. Psycho, rocking back and forth in paroxysms of emotional instability (I stole that phrase off Nagihiko's English essay).
"now," she said, her voice dropping dramatically low again. "TAAAAADAAAASEEEEE!!!!" she screamed, her voice going up and down the scale dramatically. "WHAAATTT happens when a teenage mother TAKES DRUUUUGGSSS AND ALLLKOHOLLLLL????!?!!"
Thirty seconds later
Nagihiko tapped me on the shoulder. "Mashiro, you spelt alcohol wrong."
"screw you."
ANYWAY, CONTINUING….
And Tadase kind of panicked. "…eh? Heh heh. Ummm… your baby ends up… retarded?"
And then KusuKusu started laughing crazily. Obviously, no one could hear her, but the idiot character-changed with me so I started laughing too.
"MASHIIIROOOOO!!!!" screamed Ms. Psycho, her eyes bulging so much I thought they might pop. Ewww. I could see all the veins, too. "WHAAATTT IIIS SOOO FANNYYYYY????!!!"
"you mean funny?" asked Amu.
"THAT'S WHAT I SAAIIID!!! FAAANNYYYY!!!"
"Rima-tan has never heard Tadase say 'retarded!'" I said through giggles.
"you just spoke in third person," Yaya pointed out, just in time for the green stars to go *poof* off my cheeks.
"very funny," I said through gritted teeth.
The bell rang just then, and we all ran out. And then, what to our horrified eyes should appear but Yamabuki Saaya and a bunch of other girls clustered around the notice board.
That can't mean anything good.
A bit of Rimahiko, but not that much. *eh* oh well. Anyway, GOOD NEWS! I now have thought up a great ending to this fanfiction. Don't worry, it won't end for awhile (I don't' think) but I will say this: it has a bunch of heart-breaking Rimahiko fluff (duh) and a bit of Amuto too… just because I like Ikuto-chan… ^-^ actually, Ikuto's going to play a pretty big role in the ending…
Amuto-fan-neko-san posed an interesting question: IS THE TEACHER LADY THE INSANE CHICK OFF FRUITS BASKET? I'll answer that in the next chapter just to torture you all, and if you still don't get it I'll give you the real explanation in the next random section down here.
NEXT CHAPTER: the Guardians&Co. go to the beach! Yay! And AFTER THAT, a school play. NO, Nagi's not playing the lead role, but Rima is (Rima cannot act… that's what'll make it funny…) I'll leave the name of the play as a surprise, but here's a hint: cards. Actually, that's a really big hint… so I've just totally given that away =_=. *URK*.
