From now on, each chapter will be dedicated to two readers to show my appreciation. This chapter is dedicated to myn-perfectionx who gives the greatest reviews that are actual reviews :D, and to FishFace4LIFE who always leaves me positive feedback that motivates me to go on.
--::--
I don't understand.
Mrs. Lewis said all Robins were cruel people. Uncle Jerry said they're cold-blooded and heartless. Mrs. Finkle said she knows something fishy when she sees it. Aunt Theresa said she's still a bit suspicious. Papa Stu said we were a bad omen. Zeke said we simply can't be together.
But I don't see it. Justin is kind, funny, caring, a bit of a nerd, and wholehearted. There isn't any dirt on him, his record is spotless.
He is goddamn perfect.
Everyone else can go on and warn me about how he'll break my heart and how it's only a matter of time and how I better end it now before he ends it later, but I don't care. I just do not see the bad in him.
Perhaps our relationship (or whatever it is) is a bit risky and maybe, kind of, sort of, almost illegal…but who gives a flying flapdoodle?
--::--
Max had a soccer match which Justin, Harper, and I happily attended. His team kicked some major butt...even if Max may not have done much. A team is a team right? They won, that's all that matters. Afterwards, we walked to Justin's car in the parking lot. It was the start of winter break. Winter break. The thought of time off school, at least for three weeks, and the certainty that I could spend it with Justin seemed heavenly. I walked with a special bounce to my step.
"I need to pick up some pictures and talk to my dad," Harper announced. "Can we stop by Charlie's on the way home?"
Charlie's Photo Shop was the family-owned photography studio in a little building on the corner of our street. Harper's dad worked there as a salesman and part-time lighting adjuster.
We parked on the side of the street and walked into the shop. Little as it may be, it attracted some business. Especially now, in the time of holidays, many people wanted their pictures taken. In the front window display, a perfect full house family sat in front of a white backdrop. It always gave me a pain in the gut whenever I see advertisements with the model family. Who says you need two parents and two siblings to be happy? Anyways, Harper, Justin, and I squeezed through all the people waiting in line and found Mr. Finkle reorganizing the background props for a new photo shoot.
"Harper! Max! Alex!" he paused and said, "Justin," in a much less enthusiastic voice.
After saying our greetings back, he left to grab the photos Harper needed. Mr. Finkle was a man of little words. He was one of the people who only talked when he deemed necessary, unlike Mrs. Finkle who talked because she liked the sound of her own voice. If Mr. Finkle wasn't here in the studio, then he was cooped up in his room at the house. I've only seen him during mealtimes, and even then, he doesn't talk so he gets easily overlooked.
Harper got her looks from her mother. Her father was a small, gangly fellow with brown hair and a mustache.
I took a look around and noticed the background setting Mr. Finkle was decorating just a minute ago. It was a pathway with trees on the side. A real bench was set in front of the backdrop as well as a few dry leaves on the ground beneath. It reminded me so much of the park scene from my dream that it wasn't even funny.
"Okay, we can go now," Harper said. Her dad had fetched the pictures she needed.
I turned to Mr. Finkle, "That is really cute." I pointed to the set.
"It's a new idea. We're waiting for people to test it out."
"Could we take pictures?" I asked. I felt like this was too good of a chance to miss.
Mr. Finkle smiled, "Sure! We can get you in the dressing room where there are tons of outfits and costumes to put on."
Harper and Justin looked uneasy. "I don't like pictures," Harper complained.
"Yeah, I'm not really photogenic," Justin self-criticized.
[insert you've got to be kidding me here]
"Please guys," I pouted. "It will be fun. And besides…it's the holidays!"
"That really doesn't justify anything," Max pointed out.
"Shh!"
In the end, I convinced all of them to get all fancied up for the photo shoot. I was in a simple white dress that I was shivering in, Harper in an elegant blouse and a tacky orange skirt, Justin in a sweater vest which he claimed was itchy, and Max in a black button-down shirt with a bright yellow tie that didn't match at all. Perfect.
First, all four of us squeezed onto the bench for a few shots, then Max was pushed to the ground in front of us. Next, we paired off. Harper and I in the overused, linked-arms, huge smile, peace-sign, bff pose. Max and Justin in the crossed arms, back-to-back, too-cool-for-you pose. Harper and Justin in the spy-like, finger pointer guns, glancing to the left pose. Max and I in the goofy, bunny-ears, cross-eyed, tongue-stuck-out pose. Harper and Max in the always hilarious, high school musical jump shot. And then Justin and I...we were supposed to do something silly like all the rest, but the photographer didn't stop. She kept telling us to do more poses ("Put your arms around her...now you put your arms around him...now you turn the other way...yes, lean over to him...okay, now hug each other real tight...") to the point where other people waiting to get their pictures taken were pointing at us and muttering how cute Justin and I were to each other.
It was nice, I guess.
--::--
"I can't wait to see those pictures," Harper said as we pulled into the garage of Magnolia House. "You guys looked so adorable!"
"Yeah," I agreed, but I knew I wasn't going to send any of those to my mother any time soon.
We got off the car. Justin was at my side in an instant and we automatically held hands. It was like second nature to be connected to him in some way.
[insert "aw!" here]
--::--
"Alex? What are you doing out here?"
I looked back to see Justin coming out of the house. I was standing underneath the magnolia tree in the front yard. I was gathering flowers when I was overwhelmed by the beauty of it all.
"A flower's life is so short. They bud, they bloom, they fade, they die. And the whole mission of their short lifespan is to be beautiful," I said.
Justin raised an eyebrow at me. "Having a Mulan moment there?"
I punched his shoulder and continued to gaze at the tree. They say this tree is really old, and it was here when the Magnolia House was made. It's what the house was named after. My mother lived here. Sam lived here. Everything and anything in my life seemed to be based on this tree and this house.
"Mrs. Finkle knows some about plants though," I said. "She says the tree is dying." I pointed at the holes and cracks on the trunk and branches. "She says it's sick."
"Well the tree is really old. After a while they do expire," Justin said.
"But I don't want the tree to die."
Justin came over and wrapped his arms around my waist as I continued gazing upwards at the tree. "Mrs. Finkle says it's better if we cut it down before it gets too infirm and falls on us. She called just now and they're coming tomorrow morning to chop it down," I explained my reason of sadness.
"We can get another magnolia tree," Justin said.
"But it won't be the same. Everything started with this tree."
I don't think Justin understood why I was so upset. To him, it really was just a tree. Of course, up until now, it was just a tree to me as well. Yet, the simple fact of knowing it will be gone changed all that. To me, this was a home, a family. And no matter where my mom and I moved next, I could always call this New York mansion a home. Now, not only was Mr. Robins trying to take that away from me, the tree was going away too.
"I used to climb it. Max and I used to pretend it was a fort when we were younger," I said in reminiscence.
[insert nostalgia here]
Randomly, Justin brought his lips down to my ear and whispered, "I love you."
My momentary grief for the tree went away as I turned around to face him. "What did you say? Because for a second there, I thought you said you love me."
Justin smiled and took my hand casually, as if he's done it before, as if he has plenty of experience spontaneously proclaiming his love. "Really? I guess you're just hearing things."
I looked up into those blue-and-hazel eyes and tried to say it back…but I couldn't. It was much too fast. I've only known him for barely a month. On top of that, there's a million and one reasons why we shouldn't be together but a billion more reasons why we should. Even though I do love him, I can't say it. It's not only him. I think I haven't told my mom I loved her in a good eight years. I mean, I'm not a cold-hearted person. It's simply too hard. It makes me feel…vulnerable.
Goshdarnit, Uncle Jerry was right all along.
Before I knew what was going on, Justin was leaning in and everything was too fast, too soon, too good. I wanted it but I didn't. It was perfect in the wrongest way. We were millimeters away when I finally breathed out, "Sorry."
It was supposed to be a polite declination. Rejection is rejection, though, no matter how nice you are about it. Justin looked crestfallen. And if I had to look up to that beautifully sad face for another second, I might have changed my mind--you know, if it wasn't for the spontaneous bright light shining in our faces.
We pulled apart and squinted at the light. Then I realized it was headlights. A car, no a taxi had driven into Waverly and turned into the lane for Magnolia House.
I took the chance to scoot farther away from Justin but his grasp on my hand was firm. I squinted against the bright headlights to see the cab door open and a girl step out. She grabbed two suitcases with her and the taxi driver drove off. The girl stood there smiling at us expectantly.
I didn't recognize her face, but Justin immediately let go of my hand.
Who…?
"JUSTIN!!!" The girl ran over and attacked Justin in a hug, completely passing and ignoring me. Justin's face wore an expression of utter shock.
"Juliet? You're here? Already?" Justin asked.
So this was Juliet, the mysterious girl I was told not to worry about. She was pretty, had long blonde hair, and was attempting to squeeze the air out of Justin's lungs.
"I missed you so much!" she exclaimed. "We haven't seen each other for three months! That is much too long."
While Juliet looked ecstatic to be here, Justin still looked like a deer in headlights (no pun intended). I shot him a curious look and he sent back a look of regret, sadness, and the hand-in-the-cookie-jar expression like he just got busted. But I don't understand. What could he be in trouble for?
Juliet was swaying them side to side,still in a tight hug, when I caught sight of a shiny ring on her left hand. I guess she must be rich too if she can afford huge diamond rings that could pass as an engagement ring…
"You weren't trying to get rid of me, were you, Justin?" Juliet asked. "Are you having second thoughts about marrying me?"
[insert dawn of realization here]
Juliet. Was. Justin's. Fiancé.
Through the hug, over Juliet's shoulder, Justin kept his eyes on me. He was shaking his head like this was some big misunderstanding, but how could it be? That was an engagement ring. Justin was engaged.
No.
No. No, no, no. Justin being engaged was supposed to be the punchline of a joke, not a reality. I backed up towards the house. Justin's eyes were begging me to stay, but I turned and ran.
I didn't want to believe, but I saw it with my own eyes. Justin wasn't as perfect as I thought, not when he was hiding one huge flaw.
Both Mrs. Finkle and Aunt Theresa were in Harper's room when I burst in. They were talking about some lady's night out or something but they stopped talking when I entered. Maybe it was the tears streaming down my face or my lost look, either way, they knew something was up. I sat down on Harper's bed and the three of them enveloped me in comforting hugs.
"What happened?" Aunt Theresa asked motherly.
I just shake my head. "Justin has a frickin fiancé."
And they didn't need anything else. I spent the night with Harper because I couldn't face going upstairs. Not with Justin and Juliet.
The magnolia tree was falling down tomorrow. And with it, my heart.
--::--
It was the first week of winter break. I should be sleeping in until noon, I should be relaxing and enjoying my time off, I should be jolly like everyone else, but I'm not. Uncle Jerry and Mr. Finkle were setting up the Christmas tree and everyone was getting ready to decorate it. Papa Stu got the old gramophone hooked up and holiday music filled the air. It was a perfect, countdown-to-Christmas atmosphere.
Too bad I was desperately heartbroken.
Justin and Juliet was the talk of the house. Everyone was polite and welcoming to her, but on the inside, they were thinking what a two-time, playing, jerkface Justin is.
They knew better. I had it all wrong. All Robins are lying scumbags. I wasn't careful, I fell (hard), and I shattered.
"You told me so," I admitted to Mrs. Lewis and Uncle Jerry.
They smiled and gave me hugs. "We're sorry you had to find out the hard way."
Justin kept trying to talk to me, but I ignored him. Not because I was stubborn and refused to let him explain, but because I don't think I could face him and not burst into tears. There is a difference.
My mood affected my dreams too. Now I'm almost surely convinced the dreams aren't some visions into the past. They are just creations of my subconscious mind. No way would Sam and May's story follow my own love story like this.
After the café date, the park stroll, the fiancé encounter, the moving away, and the fiancé with son at the doorstep, the dream changed into a new scene I haven't seen before. It was May and Sam sitting across from each other on the kitchen table.
"You have to go back to her," she says.
"No," he refuses. "I want to stay with you."
"But she has your son!"
"I'll pay child support! I don't care!"
"But you're engaged!"
"We called off the engagement when I decided I loved you more, May."
"Maybe you did…but Veronica never took off her ring. She loves you. She needs you."
"What about you? You love me, too."
"If you are the Sam Robins I know, then you are a man of responsibility and conscience. You are the father of Veronica's son. The right thing to do is to go back to her and marry her and start a real family."
"May…"
May shakes her head. "No. Leave. Get out. Go to Veronica and never come back. I…I don't love you anymore."
So Sam leaves. And only after the door shuts does May fall into a chair and sob.
--::--
"Are you okay, Alex?" Max asked as he brought me my clothes for the third time. I'm still trying to avoid Justin at all limits, so I asked my cousin whenever I needed something from upstairs.
I faked a smile. "Of course I'm okay."
"You loved Justin, didn't you?"
The L word struck a nerve and I gulped back the tears. "No. We were…just friends."
"You know, the people who stubbornly claim they're only friends are the ones who actually are so much more."
Ain't that the truth? But I hid my true feelings and rolled my eyes. "Where did you get that from, Max? Suddenly, you're the love doctor."
--::--
It was impossible to avoid Justin forever. I missed my bed. So I tiptoed up the stairs, hoping no one would notice, but Justin walked out of the bathroom just as I was about to open my door. Curse my wretched timing.
"Hey," he said.
I nodded back.
We stood awkwardly for a moment. "The past three days…I knocked every night and you didn't knock back."
I nodded again.
"I haven't seen much of you at all."
I nodded once more. The door to the study was slightly ajar and through the crack, I could make out Juliet walking around in her pajamas. So she was staying in the study, not with Justin. That made me feel a miniscule better.
"I'm sorry," Justin said sincerely.
I did one last nod and then slipped into my room. He apologized, but what good does that do? A cheater is like a thief. Being sorry doesn't justify their wrongs. Two little words can't make up for it.
As I lay in bed, thinking about how much life sucked in general, I heard the tap, tap, tap as Justin knocked on the wall. Our special goodnight. And any other night, before Juliet arrived, I would have tappedback with a smile on my face.
But tonight, I just continued to lay, unmoved, and let the silence ring.
--::--
The next morning, Harper and I planned to finish our Christmas shopping. I showered and got dressed with much less zeal than usual. Stepping out of the bathroom, I found the door to Justin's room open. From the angle that I was standing, I could see straight into the room. Justin wasn't in his bed. Turning around, I saw the door of the study was still open, where Juliet was still fast asleep. She lay on the pillow with her hair splayed every which way. She looked like an angel. How could I ever compete?
[insert :( here]
"Alex?"
I jumped at the sudden noise. I hadn't heard Justin sneak up on me.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Nothing," I responded. "One question though, instead of making her sleep in the study, why don't you just let her sleep in your bed with you?"
"Because I don't want to."
Now I found this very strange. "Why don't you want to?"
"Because I don't exactly love her, okay?"
Hmm? But I crushed down my hopes before it rose too high again. "What?"
Justin sighed. "I didn't propose to Juliet, not really. My dad and Juliet's dad are good friends and our marriage was like planned since we were seven. It was practically an arranged marriage. You know my dad, he doesn't let me have any say in it."
I stared at him, thinking about how much different things were a few days ago and how different things could have been. Who knew he was hiding such a huge secret? "And you didn't mention this to me because…?" I asked.
I wanted an answer. He didn't have one.
--::--
Whoa. Lots and lots of juicy stuff happened here. Not sure if you were all ready for it...I probably should have given a heads up.
Thank you guys so much for putting this in alert and favorites (we're getting there!) and reviewing! Seriously, you guys are amazing. However, when I read your praises, I feel like I should state again that I based this story off of an old TV series I first watched when I was really young and didn't understand half of it (I re-watched it of course.) So some of these scenes are not 100% my idea. Like the whole "just friends" exchange between Alex and Max was based on a quote from the episode. There was also a little photo shoot a few episodes earlier which I incorporated here. Now, I didn't copy the story. Most of this is original. My Sam/May mystery is completely different from the mystery in the series. Alex, Justin, Juliet, and Zeke are all loosely based on characters from the show while I added the others. I also jumbled up the order of events a little.
Altogether, I just want to give credit to the TV series that inspired me to write this. I won't tell you the name of it yet; I don't want to spoil it for you because Finding May and the series ends with the exact same twist ;)
