Chapter Nine

The last two weeks of term seemed to stretch out for years and years. By the time he was on the train back to King's Cross, he felt as though he were a hundred—or close to that. Between the stress of final exams and his attempts to avoid Kendall or her friends, he spent most of the time in the common room, buried behind a stack of books. Even James and Sirius had resigned themselves to studying every night. Although he hated to lose a night of studying, Remus was grateful the full moon fell the week before exams. It gave him a chance to disappear inside himself and forget his pain, at least for one night.

Luckily, Kendall didn't seem to want to tell the entire school about his "condition." Not even her friends seemed to know, and he was sure they would be the first she would tell. From what his friends had heard from listening in to conversations of other students, Kendall had blamed their breakup on Remus' lack of ambition ("How could he expect me to be with someone who had no plans after Hogwarts?") and the fact that he spent too much time with his friends. All in all, Remus didn't mind that the entire school thought he was a terrible boyfriend. At any rate, it was better than the alternative.

Even so, Remus could not get Kendall off his mind. Forget that he was pissed at her, forget that she thought he was a monster—he missed her terribly. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to avoid her entirely, as they still had classes together and both of them had to eat. And, for some reason, he couldn't stop himself from searching the room for her whenever he walked into the Great Hall or went to class. Whenever he did catch a glimpse of her, his chest constricted and his stomach felt like it had fallen down to his feet, but still he watched her. He'd become a masochist, gaining some kind of pleasure from his pain.

"It'll go away eventually," Lily had told him on the train ride home. James and Sirius were performing their regular hi-jinks in the corridor, Peter trotting after them.

"What if it doesn't?" Remus asked darkly. He turned his head as Kendall and two of her friends passed their compartment. She looked at him, her eyes widening slightly before she hurried past, her friends throwing looks of resentment at Remus before passing.

Lily sighed, noticing the exchange. "It will," she insisted. "One day, you'll find a girl who really loves you for you—not just her idea of you. But every part of you."

Remus looked out the window as the countryside became towns until they finally pulled into King's Cross at Platform 9 ¾.

"I just want you to be happy again," Lily told him as the train slowed down. She took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

"You and me both," he said, smiling sadly.

James threw the door of the compartment open and dove inside as though someone was pursuing him.

"Hey, Moony, Snivellus is after me for dumping an ink bottle onto his greasy hair—oh, Evans," James said serenely. He had crouched down behind the door, peeking over the edge.

He turned back, noticing that Lily was holding Remus' hand.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," James said, his voice rather cold.

"You didn't interrupt anything," Lily told him defensively, patting Remus' hand before pulling her own away. "I was just telling Remus he doesn't need to worry about that dreadful Kendall Cole because he's better off without her."

James looked greatly relieved. "Oh, right," he said, pretending he hadn't been worried all along. "That's just what we've been telling him."

"That's the first thing we've ever agreed on, Potter," Lily said, flipping her red hair over her shoulder. James opened his mouth to respond, but apparently didn't know what to say because he just sat there like a fish with his mouth open and his eyes blank with surprise.

The train had stopped now and students were chattering happily in the corridor as they filed out onto the platform.

"Oh, we're here," Lily said, her face falling slightly. Remus had a strange feeling that she wished James had come in sooner. "Have a good summer, Remus," she said to him, smiling. "Send me an owl, okay?"

"Oh, I guess," Remus said with a moan, but he smiled at her. Lily stood up.

James clambered to his feet as Sirius and Peter threw the door open.

"Have a good summer, Potter," Lily said to James, who continued to stare at her as though she were on fire. To the surprise of all the Marauders, Lily smiled at James before moving past him and out of the compartment. Remus thought she was still smiling before she disappeared from view.

"I told you that wouldn't be over," Peter said, jabbing Sirius in the ribs with his elbow.

"Don't lose your head now, Prongs," Sirius instructed, but James was already gone. A huge grin had spread across his entire face and he looked as though one good burst of wind would knock him flat.

"Too late, Padfoot," Remus said, grabbing his bag from the overhead rack.

James looked around as though he only just realized he wasn't alone. "She smiled at me," he said in a drippy voice. "Me."

"Oh, Merlin's baggy y-fronts, he's gone!" Sirius exclaimed, covering his face.

The four Marauders left the train, parting company on the platform. James and Sirius left to meet the Potters, Peter to find his mother, and Remus was greeted by his parents, both looking rather solemn—as usual.

"Remus, dear," his mother greeted him, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek quickly, as he had grown since he'd last seen her.

"Hi, mum," Remus said, nodding at his dad. "You didn't have to come get me."

"Your mother insisted," Remus' father said. Since disappearances were increasing and war really seemed eminent, Remus knew it was best not to say anything.

John Lupin left to collect Remus' trunk.

"Mum, is he really worried?" Remus asked his mother. She pressed her lips together, looking strained.

"We all are," she said, looking past him. Her eyes focused on something over Remus' shoulder. "Why is that girl looking over here?"

Remus turned his head, his eyes falling on Kendall and her parents. Kendall blushed before looking away, but her parents continued to look at—and glare—at Remus. He swallowed before turning back to his mother.

"That's Kendall," Remus told her, his voice quiet. Noticing the pain in his eyes, Mrs. Lupin squeezed her son's arm. He'd written a short note to his parents near the end of term telling them what had happened.

Mum and Dad, Kendall and I broke up when I told her what I am. Promised silence. –Remus

"Let's go, John," Remus' mother said when her husband returned. She shot a furtive glance at the Coles again before turning and walking toward the barrier. John Lupin followed, Remus bringing up the rear. He turned his head one last time, his eyes meeting Kendall's. He looked away quickly, shaking his head, confused by the look of regret he thought he'd seen.