Angel of Deceit:...I don't have anything to say. Here's tha warning, claimer, and disclaimer.
Naruto: Disclaimer: She does not own us...that's it plain n' simple.
Sasuke: Warning: Hn. Yaoi. don't like, then don't -censored- read it.
Naruto: Claimer: Irvine, Siren, Van, and Zain do belong to her. Ask before you even think about using them.
Author's P.O.V
Poor, poor little Uchiha.
Males weren't meant to have children.
Though it's a blessing in it self to have a child of your own...
I hope you enjoy all the wonders of Mother Hood...even the morning sickness...
Sasuke's P.O.V
I groaned as I emptied my stomach in the toilet.
After awhile I ran out of food in my stomach and started to dry heave it, when Naruto walked in.
He stared for alittle then moved my hair out of my face and started to rub my back lightly in soft circles.
"Are you ok, Koi? Is the baby hurting you?"
I rolled my eyes as I gulped in air trying to calm myself and get the nasty taste out of my mouth. "No, dobe...It's just morning sickness."
He tilted his head, as I got up and walked over to the sink to rinse out my mouth.
"Then how come your have it during the afternoon?"
"Hn, dobe. It can happen at anytime. And don't ask me why they all it 'morning sickness' when it can happen at anytime." I said cutting him off as he shut his mouth shut with a click.
Then he opened his mouth again and said, "I wasn't going to ask that, teme."
"Hn, what ever, dobe."
We were then thrown into a akward silence.
Then I had this incredible urge to eat something really spicy, even through I hate spicy foods.
"Sasuke-koi, I think you should go see Siren. She's really good at this stuff, she said she use to be a -what's that word again?- someone who use to help give birth to babies."
I nodded my head and followed Naruto out of the restroom, and his room into the wall way.
When we walked into a room, I saw a guy with light pink hair with light blue bangs curled up against a guy with deep black hair that was almost the same shade as mine. I then looked down on the floor to see Seirn.
She was leaning against a wall with her pillow firmly covering her ears, with her eyes clamped closed, with her tail swishing angrily.
"Siren-neechan?" called Naruto lightly.
At his words the woman snapped open her almost black eyes which now had a red rim around them open, and I could see dark rimes start to form under her eyes.
"Yea, wha cha want, Naru-chan."
I glared as someone other than me had called him that.
When she saw my glared she smirked at me and said, "Oh, so this is the mother-to-be? Kind of skinny..." She got up and walked over to me and lifted my shirt to look at my stomach.
When I tried to swat her hand away, she slapped mine away, and lightly pressed it against my belly.
"Hm, really skinny...too skinny to be pregnant and wish to carry a healthy baby..." She said mumbling to her self out loud, then looked up at me and said clearly." When's the last time you've eaten?"
"Three hours ago."
"Do you have morning sickness?"
"Yes."
"Does your stomach seem heavier?"
"Yes."
"Have you had intercourse recently?"
"Yes..." I said a light blush working it's way on my face.
"When?"
"About three days ago."
She hummed to her self for alittle. Then said smiling, "Has any one in the Uchiha family been uke before?"
I scowled, "No." I grounded out.
"Ok, so do you have any cravings yet?"
"Yes."
She nodded to herself, then hummed again. "So you want me to be mid wife? Tohelp give birth to your baby?"
"No." I said immediately glaring at her.
"It's not your choice. I'm going to be your doctor wether you want it or not." She said as her eyes got glazed and mumble to her self, "...I'm not going to let another suffer the fate of losing their child."
I lifted an eyebrow, as the tempter dropped to below zero.
Then Siren slapped on a fake smile and said cheerfully, "How about we go settle your cravings? I'm going to fatten you up in no time!"
She said not waiting for my reply and grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the room and down several hall, twisting and turning around cornors leaving Naruto in the room. Then she led me to a giant kitchen.
She let go of me and walked over to the refrigerator and opened it up to pull out three plates full of ribs and sett them on the table. She then pulled out a giant container of mash potatoes, green beans, stuffing, pork bones, pork chops, and set it all on the table. Then went over to the cabinet and got out a giant thing of hot sauce. She sat it down and sat down at the table. She then looked up at me when I didn't sit down. "Come on now, Uchiha. You have to eat and satisfy your cravings. I know it's going to be hard since your so use to keeping in shape but you need to eat and get fat if you want your baby to be healthy."
I sighed then sat down at the table next to her and stared at the food in front of me.
She gently smiled at me, and set a plate in front of me. "Do you want some ribs? Or something else? What is your craving?" She said.
I thought then said, "Meat...and anything spicy...and mint ice cream." I said slowly as I thought about it.
She nodded her head and but some ribs, and other meat on my plate, and on her's. After she pretty much smothered ever thing in hot sauce (except her ribs which had barb-b-q sauce on it) then handed it to me.
I lifted an eye brow. I didn't really eat any of this stuff so I didn't really know what they tasted like and how to eat it.
She rolled her eyes then smiled again and put some hot sauce on my plate then told me to do exactly what she does. She lifted the rib to her mouth and bite into it.
I stared for alittle and slowly picked up the rib and took and much smaller bite then she did. My eyes widened at the taste and I started to devour the rib like a pro, with Siren.
She smiled showing off her canines then picked up her hot sauce dripping porkchop and bit into it.
I trusted her more and picked it up and bite into the meat and swallowed.
"And more hot sauce if it's not hot enough." She said around the bone that was in her mouth.
I nodded and picked up the bottle and poured about as much as she had on her plate on my food. I picked it back up and bite into it again feeling more satisfied at the burning sensation in my mouth as I ate more. When I was about to sit it down to pick up another she stopped me.
"Don't put that down yet your not done with that yet."
I looked at her like she was crazy, "What do you mean? All the meat's gone?"
She laughed as if I had said something extremely funny, as I glared at her she calmed down. " Crazy, don't you know how to eat a pok' bon's? You suck the bone to get the flavor out more!" She said and dimistrated how as she fitted her mouth around apart of it and sucked on it.
I lifted my eye brown again then slowly lifted the bone to my lips and covered part of it with my mouth and started to suck. Some juice came in my mouth that tasted spicy and made me suck harder to get more out.
I heard the door open but was too busy to care as Siren taught my how to eat pork chops.
"Ooooo! RIBS!" Then some one sat next to me and put down a plate and load their plate with food.
I looked over my shoulder as Siren said, "Ivry-chan!"
He looked at her with a rib in his mouth, and looked like he just noticed that we were even there. "Mhmi, Smren-cmran." He said with his teeth still inside of the rib. He swallowed what he had in his mouth then said, "What are you two doing?"
"Sasuke's too skinny to give birth to a healthy baby so I'm like his Onee-chan almost. I'm teaching him how to eat this kind of food so he'll be fat enough."
He nodded then said, "Then I'll help and be his new other, 'Onii-chan'. Here Sasu-chan, this is how you eat a pork bone." He said taking the meat in his hands and biting into it almost biting the bone too.
I looked back at Siren to see if he was being truthful.
She nodded and bit into her pork bone, or 'pok' bon' ' as Siren calls them.
I then did the same as my... Onee-chan, and Onii-chan.
Naruto's P.O.V
I shook my head as I walked out of Zain and Van's room as I started to hear more noises as the bed started to rock.
I swear sometimes it seems like their trying to compete with Sasuke and me on who can have more sex than the other.
I looked up as I heard someone call my name.
"Hn, Uzimaki-kun."
In front of me stood two of the three Uchihas.
I let one of my hands run over my face to calm myself. Then said, "Yea?"
"Do you know where your brother is?"
"No, Uchiha-san."
He was quiet then said, "Where would you think he would be?"
"Probably in the kitchen stuffing himself silly...which reminds me. I need to go and inhale my ramen now. See you two later." And walked past them and towards the kitchen.
After about five turns I could still feel them following me. At first I though I was just being paranoid but this is just too much! I turned around on my heel and glared, "WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?! WHAT IS UP WITH YOU UCHIHAS AND BEING SO DAMN QUIET AND STOCKING PEOPLE?!!!" I yelled finally losing my cool (A/N: as if he ever had one...)
" You said my uke was in the kitchen and I don't live here so I' m going to follow until I find him."
I groaned, 'Man, Ivry-chan is such a slut! Sleeping with someone the first day they meet them! You would think he was a dog in heat!' I thought shacking my head then turning to the Uchiha named Sai.
"And why are YOU following me? Let me guess, you had a threesome with Ivry-chan, and Itachi-kun."
He did that thing with his face again and looked me in the eyes. "Of course not, dickless. Dickless 2 and Itachi-chan-" Here is where Itachi glared at him with murderous intent "Were by them selves. I wouldn't cheat on you!"
I lifted an eye brow then slowly back away a few steps as that thing on his face got wider. I turned around the started to walk again with the Uchihas following me.
When we got to the kitchen entrance I saw, Ivry-chan, Siren-neechan, and Sasu-koi, and for some reason my mother sucking on pork chops.
My eyebrow started to twitch as juice escaped Sasuke's plump lips and slid down his chin.
"Ain' that the hottest thing you've ever seen?" I glanced over my shoulder to see my dad, Kyubbi.
"Yea." I said.
"So, does Sasuke know that he's pregnant, yet?"
"Yea, but the other Uchihas didn't!"
He just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Oops."
"...You got my little brother, pregnant?"
"Yea, thought you would have guessed by the way the kit's almost always limping. It was only fate by how much they were going at it that he got knocked up." He said lazily, answering for me.
I glared at him and barked, "Yea! You NOT helping!"
Looked back at me out of the corner of his eye and said " Oh, I'm not? My bad."
I shook my head, 'Perverted old fox doesn't even know what he just said. Next time, I need to make sure mom isn't in the room doing something that turns the old fart on while he's talking.' I scowled at him.
I looked back at Itachi-kun and said slowly, "Do you mind that your going to be an uncle?"
He looked at me and smirked then said, "Hn, do you mind that your going to be an father and an uncle at the same time? Irvine-chan got pregnant too, he just doesn't know it yet."
I sighed and shook my head again, " How do you know if he doesn't even know?"
He snorted then turned back to look at Ivry-chan. "His smell changed."
I nodded then turned back around to see Sasuke now eating some ice cream out of a carton after Siren sat it in front of him, one in front of Ivry-chan, herself, and mom.
"Sasuke usually doesn't act like this...what's up with him?" said Sai-san.
"It's Siren, have you seen Sasuke-koi ever eat anything like that before?"
"No actually, all he usually ate was onigiri and some dry meat...don't know why."
"Then its Siren, she gets people to eat what she usually eats and gets them hooked on it. And she's his new doctor/mid wife probably going to be Ivry-chan's too. She's going to make sure their nice and round to protect the baby."
"Then here's some advice to you all. DO NOT have rough sex with your mates if Siren's their mid wife. She'll get really angry and warn you once. If you don't obey...well, she gets this inhuman power and hurts you...bad.
"Hn, she couldn't even touch me."
Dad gave him a smirk sowing all of his canines, "That's what I thought, and this is what she did."
He showed us one of he's nine tails.
It looked different from the others, it looked like it was slightly bent, and if he moved it down you could see a long scar running from the tip to the base were it circled around.
"And this was when she was young and didn't have all of her power yet. I would feel sorry for you two if I didn't warn you first." Then he walked into the kitchen, moving his tails back into place to hide the wounds and started to hit on mom.
Wow...I guess what she went through really hurt her...to the point of even rasing her hand at him...
TBC...
Angel of Deceit: Finally! Ugh! I started over FIVE times! I couldn't get it out right! I'm so aggravated. Lets' see I finished this in...ten hours...That's pretty good!
Naruto: O.O Siren's going to try and kill me.
Sasuke: Glad some one is.
Siren: Aww, is some one having mood swings?
Sasuke: -starts to cry- Y-yes! -hugs Siren as she hushes him-
Angel of Deceit: Man...happy I don't have to deal with his mood swings! Hmmm, Siren has my eating style...I really don't know how that happened...But yea, R&R PLZ!
