The Visions of the Past
The Cost of Life
Book 7: Crossroads of Fate. Beginning of school year. Continuation of the last.
Mark blinked. Albus? The world would be saved on Albus' life? Apollo left the room, leaving Mark with his thoughts. This couldn't happen. A stream of tears threatened him again. Why did he have to lose so many loved ones? His mum and dad, his best friend and now- now his foster brother, now Albus. He was on the point of crying when the door opened again. Mark kept his face stoic but it was just Seth. What he was doing there, Mark had no clue. He just watched as Seth looked around the room, empty blue eyes passing carelessly over Mark.
"N-Need something?" Mark asked quietly, keeping his eyes determinedly off Seth.
"No," Seth said impassively.
Mark watched Seth's eyes settle and he turned away. Seth was just about to leave when Mark sighed and called back, "I need to talk."
Seth stopped, a brief hint of surprise playing in his eyes. "Well, now, that's new. Someone who hates my guts wants to talk to me."
"It's important."
"Yeah, war makes things important," Seth shrugged. "We should have wars more often. Suddenly, everyone needs me."
Mark folded his arms. Honestly, how Albus managed to befriend this boy, he had no clue. He was sick. He was a sociopath, he had no care about anyone but himself, he avoided society, he avoided emotion or conscience, he acted without regard for the consequences. Here, Mark wanted to talk and Seth scoffed at it. Here was yet another piece of proof, more evidence that the world, generally, was evil. War brought the worst out in everyone, including Mark himself. Albus used the Killing Curse, tortured a Goblin, made a deal with Seth which ultimately led to the Hogsmeade battle, Malcolm actually tried killing Simon, the twins were telling Mark he was being naïve. They were all evil, then. Mark would stick with his morals, with the unwavering belief that death only led to more death.
"Go!" Mark said angrily. "You're sick and Al is sick for even talking to you."
"Am I?" Seth said casually. "Well, considering the inner pain emotion seems to give people, I have no problems being sick. You should try it sometime. It might do you good."
Seth did not leave. He and Mark regarded each other silently. Mark's feelings for Seth had become conflicted recently. Ever since Seth saved Mark's life by cutting the leg off, Mark almost wanted to like him, wanted to try and give him a chance, to see what it was about him that Albus liked so much- if Albus liked him at all. Sometimes, Albus seemed to be on the line. And was what Seth said true? Did Albus really threaten to kill Seth?
"So, what'd you need?"
"Nothing," Mark said, turning away. "No point talking to you anyway. You'll never understand."
"If it has to do with your emotions, probably not," Seth shrugged. "Look, Wallader. I really don't care how you feel at all. You said you needed to talk, not me. I just came strolling in here minding my own business when you said you needed to talk, paid me a compliment about how sick I was, and then asked me to leave. You're very strange."
"You're no better, you kill people," Mark said before he could help himself.
"Only those who matter," Seth said carelessly.
Mark was silent for a time. Those who matter… who mattered? Reminding himself that Samantha went insane over something Seth did, he turned back to him. "Who matters, Seth? Who did you kill? Tell me."
"I killed Malcolm, Gordon, Jared, Herald, Gerald, and I got Karl Mold killed, and I killed Samantha," Seth said casually, like none of it was worth mentioning or looking at twice.
"Why?"
"Well, Malcolm's death saved Simon, so no harm there," Seth shrugged. "His old gang tortured him and showed every indication of going further since the school was under siege, and Karl killed Simon's parents and was a Purifier."
"And Samantha…"
"She was crazy," Seth told him simply.
"Of course she was," Mark flared. "Look what you did"-
"What did I do"-
"You kill her brother, you orchestrate a battle that killed her other brother, not to mention countless others, and you steal her home," Mark emphasized. "Are you dense? Who wouldn't go crazy"-
"It's because people like Samantha and you for that matter can't handle the realities of war," Seth said this with such calmness and carelessness, no emotion hidden behind his voice, no hint of remorse in his tone, that Mark was actually bothered.
"And to make it worse, you lack remorse," Mark told him quietly. "You just… do it."
"I do what needs to be done," Seth told him just as quietly. "And since I lack remorse, I'm the best person for that job. You want the Reservation and Arsenal to lose. So do I. And I'm the only student having a major effect. Well, me and Al, really."
"Oh, yeah?" Mark asked. "So, tell me. If you discovered that the only way to beat the Reservation was to kill Simon, would you do it?" Mark asked.
Mark's question, it seemed struck gold. Seth widened his eyes and looked down, not wanting to answer the question. "That's not the case."
"But let's say it is, hypothetically," Mark told him. "Would you do it? Would you kill Simon to beat the Reservation?"
"Depends… does Sophie and Sierra have to die too?" Seth asked quietly.
"Don't dodge the question, would you sacrifice Simon?"
"No!" Seth flared, folding his arms. "No, I wouldn't. I want the Reservation to go down so Simon can live. Killing him to beat them is counter-productive to my goal. I'd take him out of the country, and go into hiding. Me, my sister, him and his sister. They can't kill what they can't see and one Fideleus Charm can do it. They can't break that."
"See, I would," Mark said quietly. "If the world and thousands of lives can be saved by"-
"Don't lie," Seth interrupted. "You couldn't bare watching Al kill Ridge to save his sister and cousin. Would you sacrifice your dear cousins? Would you sacrifice Aries? You say you would but it's easier said than done. Yet, ironically, I hear that you were willing to sacrifice Lily to my father just to stop him getting what he wanted. Care to explain, hypocrite?"
"I'm"-
"Explain, won't you?" Seth challenged mockingly. "Out with it. Why were you willing to get rid of Lily, but you're not willing to get rid of Ridge? How could you be willing to sacrifice Simon to save the world, but you whine about ethics when killing Malcolm? I may lack emotion, but even I know that might be a tad hypocritical, and just a bit psychotic on your part. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were secretly on the Reservation's side or something. It would certainly explain a lot."
Mark actually stared for a bit. He did not want to admit out loud or even to himself but Seth was right. In a way at least. He was hypocritical. He yelled at his brother for killing Ridge but Mark himself killed Seth's father. Where did Mark stand? How could he reconcile this position? It occurred to him just there. His mind lit up with the philosophy his mother taught him. His mother redeemed his father, believed in the good in people, and even married him. That was why Mark thought the way he did.
"You know I'm right," Seth told him.
"No, I don't," Mark said suddenly, making Seth raise an eyebrow. "I was wrong to kill your father and Al was wrong to kill Ridge. There, I admit it. People like us should not kill. We take prisoners, we bring them to justice, but we don't kill them."
"That's naïve."
"No, it's not, it perfectly realistic if you were willing to go the distance to try"-
"It's too risky, it makes you hold back against an opponent already far more powerful than you," Seth told him. "You'll die."
"With pride," Mark yelled back. "I have morals, I have ethics. I don't kill people. It's what makes us different from them. If we became like them, do to them what they do to us, we're no different. There's nothing worth saving anymore, in which case I'd gladly die just to get away from this sick sphere you call the world and break out of the sick circle you call life."
Seth, if anything, looked at least a little amused. "Ok, question, then. What would you havedone to save your sister and cousin? Let them die?"
"No," Mark said, and he had an argument this time. He was challenged so many times with this issue but he had a comeback this time. "I'd save them in another way. Al was an idiot and responded to his immediate emotions but it was easy to save Lily. Both of them were attacked with a knife. Wizards can repel physical objects easily, Al could've cast the enchantment and saved her. The force would've repelled Ridge and given anyone the chance to hit him while he recoiled."
"The knives are magical when Goblins use them"-
"Still physical, and the magic takes effect once it makes contact with your skin," Mark reminded him. "Which it can't. So, Al, Al killed when he didn't need to. Not only that. He used three bloody unforgivable curses, tortured one of them, and killed Ridge. And you didn't see Al. He was crazy. He was borderline insane. Of course I hated him. He sacrificed his ethics, he did something he shouldn't have had to do. There are other ways, you're just too sick-minded to see them. You're secretly eager to carry vicious plans out just because you have a justification for it. It's sadistic. And people like you, who kill people just because they wronged you… that's sick too."
"Yeah, I definitely should've let Simon die," Seth agreed impassively, but Mark knew he was being sarcastic. "Put yourself in my position. Simon is struck with a Terminal Curse. His only chance of living is either getting immediate attention and a bit of luck, or killing the caster, prolong his life by weakening the curse, and give him more time to save him, thus increasing his chances? Rather Malcolm live just for your little ethics?"
"No, I"-
"What would you do, Wallader?" Seth asked. "If your cousin was struck with that curse and you knew killing the caster would give him a better chance of survival against a curse which usually kills anyway, would you kill Malcolm?"
Mark sighed, hating himself and Seth for having to ask this question. In the end of the day, it was war he hated. He couldn't fight a war. Fighting a battle, dueling, and winning was all well and good but fighting a war, having to make these sort of sacrifices, hurt. He was just not that material. He never was. This world, humanity, was better than that, but they all chose a violent path. People had inner sadists. An inner demon that secretly enjoyed pain, especially if it was not inflicted on them. That was why so few got involved when others were in trouble. There was no sense of justice or righteousness. The only reason why they got involved in war and fought back was because it gave them the opportunity to justify their actions, however vicious they may prove to be. And Mark was no different. Did he not feel guilty killing Soto, and wanting to do it? This war taught him that, if anything.
"Yes, I'd kill Malcolm," Mark grumbled. "But I'd feel terrible about it."
"Which is why I'm the best person for the job," Seth shrugged, turning away to leave the room. "And I'm selflessly offering my services to the person who can give me the best offer. No blood on their hands, just mine. And what do I care? I'm a sociopath, remember?"
"As long as you care for your fried, you're not," Mark said as Seth walked away.
Seth just had time to call back, "Remember that next time you call me sick" before disappearing.
