Hello again, folks!

Well, here we come again with normal length chapters! Today, plot advance, depressing dialogs and even more Ghost Asuka cruelty! You wanted it!

So yeah, I'll shut up now. I don't own Evangelion and all that stuff. Seriously, is any of you a lawyer? Do I have to say it every chapter? I think it's kind of obvious by now…

9- AFTERMATH

When Shinji woke up, he groaned. He rested a few seconds with his eyes closed. His whole body was sore. He also felt a faint pain in his left hand and thigh. Had his own body received the injuries of Unit-01? Well, that was new.

He raised his body with a grunt, trying not to put weight in his left hand. He felt like his head would explode. The soreness of his body and that blurry sensation in his mind meant he had been sedated. That would explain why his nightmares had been longer than usual. The meds had forced him to be asleep.

When he finally opened his eyes, the light coming from the window hurt them. Shinji groaned again.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty" a mocking voice said from his left. Shinji turned his head, to see Toji smiling widely at him. Mari was at the bed at the left or Toji, waving at him with a smile.

Suddenly, somebody tackled him, cutting his breath out.

"Hika… Aaaaaaargh!" his surprised expression was cut off by a bone crushing hug. It was surprising the strength that petite body had.

"Thank you…" she murmured. Shinji could feel his gown getting slightly wet "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you…"

"What?" Shinji managed to gasp. The girl hiccupped.

"If you hadn't… Toji… Toji would have…" she managed to gasp "Thank you… Thank you…"

Shinji blushed lightly. He wasn't used to gratitude.

"Well…" he said "You're welcome, I guess"

After a few seconds, Hikari finally let him go. She rubbed her nose and nodded. Shinji smiled faintly. He was sure the girl had been pumping everything up in her chest.

"How long have I been out?" Shinji asked.

"Kensuke said you fainted just after killing that thing" Toji explained "He heard everything, but he didn't have visual. How did you do it?"

Shinji frowned. He remembered. Of course he did. He remembered clearly every second of it. But he felt this wasn't something he should say aloud.

"The usual" Shinji smiled "You know the best way to deal with Angels is to stab them with a sharp object"

Toji laughed. Mari didn't say anything, and frowned lightly. Shinji realized she was onto him.

"But man" Toji continued "You sure had a shitty night. The doctors said they had to pin you down to operate your leg. You kept moving and stuff. Like this night. Were you having a nightmare?"

Shinji smiled tiredly.

"You could say that"

Toji decided not to press the matter. It was pretty obvious that Shinji didn't want to talk about that.

"When are we returning to Berlin?"

"Major Katsuragi said we would be returning tomorrow" Toji said "Just enough time to get the Evas ready for the transport. Also, we don't want our hero to get his leg ripped during the trip, do we? But the Major already left this morning. She said she had something to talk with the lab"

Shinji laughed. He knew what Misato had to talk with the lab. It was pretty obvious.

"But seriously" Toji continued "How did you manage to get that kind of wound? I can understand your hand, if got knocked over or something. But you got your thigh freaking pierced! How did you do that?"

"I don't really remember" Shinji answered apologetically "I just realized a had this when I woke up"

That was partially true. He knew when he received the injury, but he hadn't really noticed until his awakening.

"Well, you are some lucky dog" Toji was saying "They used that strange med in you leg to accelerate the healing. They say you can already walk with crunches if you don't put weight in your leg. And in a week your leg should be like new. But they also said that'll leave a scar"

"It's not that bad" Shinji said "I don't really care. Besides" Shinji smiled, pointing at the fake leg of his friend "Girls dig scars, don't they? The bigger and nastier, the better; right?

"Damn right" Toji laughed.

"We don't" Mari interrupted with a smile. Hikari sighed, while Toji frowned humorously.

"Spoilsport"


Misato tapped her foot impatiently. She was growing frustrated.

"Well?" she asked "What do you say?"

Maya Ibuki, the new chief scientist of Nerv, frowned. She reviewed the last part of the fight in fast motion again. She finally sighed and took off her glasses.

"I need more data, Mayor"

Misato frowned. Maya had changed so much since Instrumentality. The fact that Ritsuko never came back had hit her pretty hard. Also, she lost her innocence during the Angel War. Like so many people did. Like Shinji did, and Asuka. She recalled with nostalgia the times when Maya would puke at sights less gruesome than the one she just witnessed without batting an eyelid.

"I need Unit-01 to perform a few tests" Maya insisted "And it would be good if I could talk with Shinji and take a few samples"

Misato sighed.

"Yeah. Of course"

Maya sighed tiredly. Misato saw a part of the young girl she had come to appreciate in her features.

"We can't just leave him alone, can we?" she asked "We just have to use them until there's nothing left"

Misato clenched her teeth. It was true. Shinji, and Asuka, should have never been near an Evangelion again. She told Fuyustuki. Nerv had drained a lot from them. They ruined their childhood and screwed up their lives even more that they already were. They had placed the weight of the destiny of the human race on their shoulders when the biggest problem they should have had would have been that their crush didn't talk to them.

They took everything from children, and it just wasn't enough. They had to take more, more and more, until there was nothing left. Hey had to take everything, leaving only an empty shell too damaged to lead a normal life. Then, they would toss them aside like yesterday's garbage. It was disgusting.

Misato just left the room, unable to put up with Maya's stare. They were both guilty, but Misato felt that her sin was way bigger. Because she had promised to be her guardian, to be a pillar they could have leaned on, and she failed, leaving two children too scarred to fit in a normal world.

She knew Asuka stayed with Nerv because it was the only thing she knew and the only place she could feel comfortable, even if she hated it with all her soul.

And she knew Shinji could have fled the country, changing his name, age and aspect, leaving to never be seen again. But he hadn't. She didn't know why, but he hadn't left. Even if he had known that, sooner or later, he would be called again.

Both children hated both Nerv and the Evangelions more than anything in the world, but couldn't run away from them, because they were the only things that made their life meaningful. They were unable to adapt to a normal and civil life.

And it was their fault. Nerv's, Fuyutsuki's, Gendo's. Hers. They were the adults, supposed to protect them from the hardships of the world. And they failed miserably.

-----------------

Shinji groaned in pain. The doctors had said he could walk with crutches, but failed to remember that he had two broken fingers. Shinji danced pathetically as he tried to steady himself, without leaning too much on his left hand. After a few minutes of struggle he gave up, letting himself fall on a bank just in front of his room.

Well, he thought. This sucks. Shinji sighed in frustration. He felt like a cripple. A newbie cripple, since Toji moved like he had no prosthesis. Shinji closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, facing the ceiling. He dwelled back to the events of the battle. Unit-01… He felt so powerful. When the fury took over his body, he could feel it. Being one with the Evangelion. He felt so strong. He felt invincible. He overpowered without problem a monster not even four Evas at the same time had been able to defeat. That overflowing sense of power and confidence… It felt good. It felt good being, for once, the stronger one. He had killed the Angel. He had overpowered the monster. He had been the strongest. For a brief instant he wondered if he could pull off that power every time he wanted.

However, his head drifted to other moments of the previous night. The Angel had talked to him, he was sure of it. It was not that strange, he'd had experience with mind-invading Angels before, but this one seemed… off, in a way. And the fact that they had been unable to trace its wave pattern was even stranger. In the past, they had been able to confirm it even from Angels coming from space. A momentary question appeared in his mind: what if that hadn't been an Angel? That would explain the wave pattern problem and why it seemed to have a conscience of its own, rather than invading its victim's brain like other Angels did in the past. Shinji groaned. This was pointless. He was aware that he didn't know enough about Evas and Angels to figure that out. But if any of this thought was true… Well, it would explain some thing he had seen during Instrumentality that didn't have much sense to him. Things about his father, and his schemes.

Shinji's eyes snapped open when he realized he wasn't alone, there was someone else's breathing just in front of him He opened his mouth to talk, but shut it up when the pretty redhead in front of him talked.

"What happened yesterday?"

Shinji shrugged.

"Unit-01 went berserk, probably"

"It didn't" Asuka said curtly, almost before Shinji had ended talking "You were awake the whole time. You were controlling the Eva"

"My memory is kind of blurry" Shinji "I don't really remember"

"Liar" Asuka snapped "You can't even fool Mari, and she's known you for how long? Three days? Don't think you can lie to me"

"Does it really matter?" Shinji asked "The Angel is dead and nobody got seriously hurt. What's the problem?"

Asuka pointed at his leg.

"This. You may try to fool everyone that wasn't directly there, but I saw everything. You've received the injuries Unit-01 did. How?"

"I don't know"

"You know what kind of injuries an Eva sustains during battles. They get pierced, they get their limbs ripped off, they get stabbed in places that would kill a person instantly" Asuka paused a second to let the meaning of her words sink "If you keep doing what you did, you will die"

"So what?" Shinji simply asked "I don't really know how I did it. And you have a lot of pilots now; don't matter if you lose one. And besides" Shinji eyed the girl for a moment "Don't you remember that time with the Twelfth? You said it was my damned fault for getting ahead of myself. Think of it as if it's like that one time"

Judging by the expression that appeared in the redhead's face, Shinji knew he had hit the bullseye. He hated talking like that to Asuka, but he couldn't help it. His mind kept drifting at all the times she had berated him, and at that damned kitchen room, where he strangled her.

Asuka didn't say anything, as she bit her lip. They remained silent for a few minutes, staring at each other. Shinji could tell she was trying to get something out her throat, but couldn't really bring herself to. A light shone in Shinji mind. Don't, he pleaded mentally. Say whatever you want except this. Don't. Please. Insult me. Humble me. Hit me, even. Just don't ask…

"What were you dreaming about last night?"

Shinji screamed in his mind.

"I don't know"

"You were moving and grumbling. You were having a nightmare"

"I don't remember"

"You made a scream that could be heard through the whole hospital" Asuka continued, implacable.

"I don't know"

"You said my name" Asuka insisted "I'm sure of it"

"Shut up!" Shinji shouted "It has nothing to do with you! Leave alone! Shut up!"

Asuka obliged, taken back by his scream. That she could remember, that had been the first time he had raised his voice to her. It hurt. A lot. Was this how he felt all the times she had done it? I wasn't pleasant at all.

"Don't you trust me?" she whispered, before she could stop the words from coming out of her mouth.

Shinji looked at her for what seemed like an eternity.

"Do you?" he asked back.

"What?"

"Do you trust me?" Shinji insisted.

Asuka opened her mouth to tell him that she did, of course. That was a silly question. They had shared a lot and… And she knew she was lying to herself. They really never shared anything important. They never trusted each other at all, even if they had lived together for almost a year. They had been together 24/7 a whole week, and she now realized they knew nothing about each other. She didn't knew what was inside that hurt eyes and that tired expression, the same way he didn't know what was under her brash and loud front.

Shinji nodded lightly and got up with a pained groan. He had to get away. Maybe he was running again, but he couldn't take that silence. A silence that said so many things. A silence that told him that; even if five years had passed; even if he had seen, heard and done things other people don't in a lifetime; even if he had convinced himself otherwise, time had not passed for them. They were exactly the same they were that day when the world ended and rebooted. Nothing had changed at all, and it was tearing him apart.

Asuka did not try to stop him.


Lorenz Keel, also know with the alias of 'Seele 01', and probably the most powerful man alive (the only competitor being probably Nerv's Commander, Kozo Fuyutsuki), wasn't having a nice day.

His night had been sleepless, haunted by the worry of the appearance of a new kind of threat. Angel? Ridiculous. He knew more about the Dead Sea Scrolls than any human being. His knowledge was absolute, that had been the reason he had been able to best Gendo Ikari at his own game. But now, Keel couldn't shake the feeling that he was playing a new game, and it bugged him that he did not know what it was about.

Fortunately, he had received notice that the target had been destroyed. Even though, Keel was sure more would come. These creatures, if they were Angels, would never appear alone. But Adam's embryo wasn't in Europe, he knew that for sure. Europe was his own playground; nothing appeared inside it without him knowing. So what had Naberius been searching for? Had it even been looking for something? Had it even been an Angel?

Keel hated this situation, as much as he hated this 'reality' where he was stuck in. But he had had no other option. When he discovered Instrumentality had been aborted, he had to come back. He had make things right this time. But he no longer had the means to do so. He hated the aborter of Instrumentality. He had ruined everything. But he didn't know who he was. He only had heard his voice. But he wouldn't forget it. And the world was, in fact, a very tiny box. The people who could have been able were few. And it had been a young voice. That left the Childs and the youngest Nerv personnel.

But he couldn't figure out who, or why. All the files he had said that everybody in Nerv was screwed up enough that they would accept any means to escape this painful reality. Which one of them had seen the infinite possibilities of Instrumentality and had rejected them? Who had looked at the most perfect happiness one could achieve and dejected it?

Who had been offered Godhood, and refused?


Shinji frowned in annoyance.

"I can't believe you actually told me off!" Asuka laughed "I mean, seriously, I thought you'd shit your pants and tell me everything!"

"Shut up!" Shinji snarled. As always, he wasn't really sure if he was answering aloud or mentally. If it was the former, anyone who saw him would think he was nuts, talking to himself. That wasn't too far from the mark, though.

"But you could have been more tactful about it" Asuka said with a thoughtful expression "You don't really want to blow off all your chances, do you?"

"What are you talking about?" Shinji growled, even if he knew very well what she was talking about.

"Aw, come on!" Asuka laughed "I was worried. If you had been a little pity-inducing, maybe you'd have had some pity sex or something"

"Fuck you"

"That's the idea" Asuka laughed again "I'm hot, aren't I? I mean, these five years have treated me well, unlike you. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Do me, that's it. Are you going to touch yourself?"

"Go to hell" Shinji growled.

"Oh, it's because I'm looking? Don't worry about it" Asuka beamed at him "I'll look away. It won't take you long, will it? You'll like it. Just like the old, good times. I was always your favourite, was I? Not that it stopped you from killing me"

"Leave me alone" Shinji muttered "I hate you"

Asuka laughed loudly. Shinji couldn't understand how such a crystally, nice, pretty laugh could be so cruel.

"But you don't, Shinji my dear" she whispered in his ear "You can't hate me, because you know everything I say it's true. You can't hate me, because you deserve my words. And, above all else, you can't hate me because, if you can't hate the real me, how can you hate a ghost with my form?"