Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama or any of its related seasons. They belong to Teletoon and Cartoon Network. The alphabet theme isn't mine and is property of Frank15. The 52 OC's in this story however are mine so do not steal them.
The Warning: This chapter contains thumb sucking, axes, completely gross humor, a hint for a future plot point, a Philosophical Hippie and a Tree Hugger. You have been warned!
Note: This story now has over 1000 hits; thanks guys! In other news; I been watching the first two episodes of Revenge of the Island, and I must say … I'm a MikexZoey shipper and proud of it! They just seem like a perfect couple. Here's hoping all's well that ends well!
Timber!
It was late at night on Wawanakwa Island; it was dark out and the moon shone down onto the island, gently illuminating it with its almost phantomlike outwardly radiance. Spider and Quana stood on the dock of shame ready as always to give the episode introduction.
"Last time on Total Drama Letterama; we took a trip back to our respective childhoods and built toys … more specifically the twenty three contestant's built toys while Jimmy and Eleanor, being the youngest here, judged them. It was a challenge designed to endorse creativity and team work among the contestants, but some had other ideas."
"Some worked very well together; Opal and Zed, despite their big differences personality wise, were able to make the highest scoring toy … Morph, it got a perfect twenty. Others didn't work together so well such as Alice and Bishop … though Kim got them to fight through subtle manipulation. I don't like Kim too much to be honest."
"Me neither my lovely; but it is against our contracts to tell everyone her strategy; the best we can do is hope somebody catches on. Besides; she's not as bad as Kasimar." Said Spider hopefully.
"I hope not." Murmured Quana. "But other things of note happened such as Rheneas, Jill and Imanda creating a singing toaster and Quarla continuing to bully Paul … some of the contestants this year aren't really that nice. But we saw some nice things such as Winnie and Yannis's interactions; they bring out the matchmaker in me."
"Nobody's as big a matchmaker as Barney." Said Spider in remembrance of how the pirate had successfully and tirelessly worked to hook up him and Quana. "When it came to judging we saw some good toys, such as Bishop's action figures, some … questionable toys such as whatever was in the bag Nina held … and some that were just bad like Helen's boring beige ball. Due to the latter of those toys Team Savannah lost and, though the vote was somewhat divided, Helen got fifty percent of the votes and became the first person voted off as well as the first female to lose this season."
"Three contestants have already lost and by the end op the episode a fourth will have joined them … but who will it be? Will VayVay arrive anytime soon? Will Alice establish herself as the undisputed leader of Team Mongolia? And will anybody get hurt because I hope not. Find out the answers to these questions on this episode of Total Drama Letterama!" Finished Quana energetically.
(Theme song, I wanna be famous)
Team Mongolia was in the living room area of the Champions Cabin; they were currently relaxing in satisfaction of their second first place victory. Opal felt quite pleased she had managed to lead her team so well.
"Thanks again for getting us first place Opal; you did good." Complimented Eddie.
"Not a problem Eddie McEddie; but Zed helped as well." Pointed out Opal.
"Like a hick could do anything talented." Said Bishop without looking up.
"Finally something we agree on." Said Alice who was sitting away from the others looking.
"Makes me feel poor to agree with you." Shuddered Bishop.
"Be nice you two." Said Sasha as she played on her Nintendo DS. "You are as angry as often as I play video games … all the time."
"… She started it." Muttered Bishop.
Confessional: … That was pretty childish.
Bishop: My current game plan is to get rid of Alice … after that I'll get rid of Zed and Sasha in that order as soon as I have a chance to do so.
Eddie: Bishop will learn one day that money isn't everything. That day will likely be the one where he is voted off.
"I wonder what the next challenge will be." Pondered Cherry. "Maybe we'll be racing go karts; that is something that I know I can do."
"Go Karts are fun! I love riding them and singing the wheels on the kart song." Giggled Opal.
"I don't much like go karts; I prefer more simply pleasures such as tanning and reading." Said Kim opinionatedly as she sat in an armchair looking comfortable.
"A tan would look great on you m'lady." Said Bishop.
Kim giggled and pretended to look shy.
"I quite like this team; I reckon we have a chance at getting to the merge intact, we just gots ta work together and multitask like my folks do back on our farm." Said Zed from his seat next to Opal.
"Is your dad a big hairy mountain man?" Asked Opal.
"No, Pop shaves daily." Assured Zed.
"This team would fall apart in seconds without me." Mumbled Alice while looking irritated by Opal.
"But luckily we are held together by sticky stacky glue." Grinned Opal sunnily.
"Yeah … me." Smirked Alice.
"I reckon she was talking about all of us." Said Zed.
"Oh don't worry Zed; Alice just has a bit of an ego." Explained Cherry.
"A bit?" Repeated Eddie.
"She has an ego bigger than Hooktail." Said Sasha while still playing her game.
"I quite agree." Said Bishop as he relaxed with his hands behind his head.
"You guys are just jealous I'm better than you." Frowned Alice as she stormed off to one of the bedrooms, slamming the door behind her and locking it.
Confessional: Lock out clock out!
Bishop: The pieces are falling together and soon Alice will be gone thanks to my sheer intellect and wealth. I'm a God at this game and unlike Lankston I will win the million dollars.
Alice: Bishop is trying to turn everyone against me, but it won't work. They know I'm the only thing stopping this team from being curb stomped in each challenge.
Sasha: I don't really get why Alice and Bishop hate each other … but as long as I don't get involved it won't effect me. To be honest both of them are pretty unpleasant people.
Kim: At this rate Alice and Bishop are going to get themselves eliminated; but I hope Bishop stays longer, he's very easy to emotionally manipulate though the use of my … feminine charms.
"Hey guys." Said Sasha as she paused her game. "I just had a thought; when do you think VayVay will arrive? She's missed a bit of the competition which could lessen her chances of winning."
"Maybe she'll arrive tomorrow, maybe in a day or two." Said Eddie in out loud thought. "Hopefully she won't miss much more … however I doubt she'll be on our team."
"What makes you say that?" Asked Cherry.
"We have eight members on our team and the others both have seven; thus I predict she will likely be assigned to either Team Everest or Team Savannah by coin flip, it's the most fair way."
"Maybe you're right." Said Sasha as she yawned and cutely stretched. "Well; I'm gonna go to sleep and restore my mana points; I'll see you guys tomorrow."
"Sleep well." Said Eddie.
Sasha left to bed and there was a few seconds of silence.
"Could somebody tell me what Mana is?" Asked Zed.
Confessional: Mana spanner!
Cherry: Zed's funny!
Kim: Zed's retarded.
Opal: Zed's cute!
The guys of Team Everest were in their bunks getting ready to go to sleep; each of them was reading a book about a completely different subject. Fripp was reading a book titled 'Fun at the farm' a picture book for three year olds which reflected Fripp's low IQ. Max was reading a small text no pictures book about robotics and was on a chapter titled 'the motherboard and you'. Donny was reading the lord of the Rings and looked engrossed. And Rheneas was reading…
"Hey Rheneas; what's that?" Asked Max from his bunk above Donny.
"What is what?" Replied Rheneas.
"That book you're reading." Explained Max. "I could have sworn it had a big heart shape on it."
"It's nothing … besides; Fripp's the one reading a friggin toddlers book, why not ask him about that?" Said Rheneas defensively.
"The cow goes moo!" Laughed Fripp as he slowly read his book with a bit of difficulty. "But I thought cows went tweet. The wonders of edu … ed … school are fun!"
"Look; how about we simply say we all have different tastes in reading and leave it at that." Suggested Donny irritably. "And Fripp … read your book in your head; it's saddening to see a sixteen year old have trouble reading that rubbish … though I guess Twilight is even more shit."
"… Did you just swear?" Gasped Fripp.
"Yeah; I just #bleep# swore; nothing wrong with a little swearing here and there, it relieves stress and keeps my blood pressure low." Shrugged Donny. "I have, according to the doctor, one of the most volatile tempers he's ever seen in his medical career."
"I've noticed." Said Rheneas as he continued reading his book.
"I just get annoyed by jokes relating to my height; I mean, everywhere I go it's always 'are you Grumpy or Doc' or maybe 'the school is holding a midget tossing championship next weak'. It pisses me off that people would judge somebody by something as trivial as their height. Beatniks the lot of 'em." Muttered Donny. "I like Lord of the Rings though; the hobbits are short like me and are portrayed positively."
"If somebody insults something you can't help then they aren't worth knowing … though is that's true then about nine tenths of my school isn't worthy knowing." Pondered Max.
Confessional: I'm worth knowing!
Donny: Me and my roommates are pretty tight … but Fripp is kinda annoying. Other than that we get along pretty well.
Max: If Donny were to play Dungeons and Dragons I'm willing to bet he would play as a Gnome or a Halfling, they'd suit him. His class would probably be a Fighter or a Barbarian.
"Anyway; I return to my first question, what exactly are you reading Rheneas?" Asked Max curiously.
"Just drop it … it's personal." Said Rheneas to finish the conversation.
"Hi!" Yelled Fripp as he jumped right in Rheneas's face which caused him to drop the book to the floor.
"What's this then?" Asked Donny as he picked the book up and began to read the picture. " 'Girls and how to approach them' … seriously dude?"
"Renny's in love!" Teased Fripp childishly.
"Advertise it to the world why don't you." Muttered Rheneas.
"Who's the girl?" Asked Max.
"I'm not telling." Said Rheneas simply.
"Come on; we won't tell anybody." Promised Max.
"I'm still not telling; I don't really know how she'd react and I don't want her to be upset if she thinks I'm something like a creep." Explained Rheneas as he leaned down and grabbed the book from Donny. "You guys are like magpies; you take everything."
Rheneas lay down on his bed and closed his eyes.
"And besides; you could try and guess all night and I guarantee you still wouldn't figure out who it is." Finished Rheneas.
There was a few seconds of silence.
"Renny's gonna get cooties!" Teased Fripp.
"Oh shut up you 'Fripping' idiot." Groaned Donny.
Confessional: You may now commence the Wild Mass Guessing.
Rheneas: I don't really want to talk about the girl I like; you'd all think I was insane … I know it. I like her in spite of… (Rheneas mumbles ineligibly).
Max: I wouldn't have thought a pyro would be so … well … shy, when it comes to girls. Then again, what do I know about girls? (Max chuckles).
The Team Everest girls were lying in their bunk beds sleepily; Jill was on the bunk above Imanda and Nina was on the top of the other bunk. Both Jill and Imanda had a peg over their noses due to Nina's terrible smell filling the room and the fact that every other minute Nina would let one rip.
"Why are you wearing those pegs over your booger farms?" Asked Nina.
"If by booger farms you mean noses … it's because you friggin stink!" Exclaimed Jill. "You have been stinking up the cabin since the start of the contest and my poor nose cannot take much more of it. Just take a bath and maybe wear some deodorant."
"Eww no! Deodorant and soap is gross." Gagged Nina.
"Right back at ya." Muttered Jill.
"Nina could easily hold the world record for going the longest without a bath." Mused Imanda.
"I do hold that record actually." Grinned Nina as she took a piece of a VERY old and moldy cookie from her belly button and ate it.
"Did she just…" Asked Jill with wide eyes.
"She did…" Said Imanda while turning green.
"Do any of you want some?" Asked Nina as she held out two moldy and hairy cookies. "They've been in my pocket for a month now."
"No thank you; but thanks for the offer." Declined Imanda politely.
"Ok then; how about you eat a bit of Angus?" Asked Nina.
"Who's Angus?" Asked Jill in confusion.
"This is Angus." Said in a as she took a green, hair and fungus ridden hunk of smelly cheese out from within her festering mold covered pocket. "Want some?"
"It's been in my pocket since I was in elementary school.2 Replied Nina as she popped 'Angus' into her mouth and swallowed. "Tasty!"
Jill and Imanda looked absolutely and purely revolted; Jill had turned green and quickly jumped out of bed and ran outside to be sick.
"… You are gross!" Gagged Imanda in horror at Nina's antisocial behavior.
"Thank you." Grinned Nina.
Confessional: *insert grossed out retching sounds here*
Jill: That … is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen … I think my nose had died and its body has received caner the smell was that bad.
Nina: Angus tasted like fish.
Imanda: (She looks as though she has been violated). Eww…
"So here we are again." Said Tyson as he sat with his back against the wall with his blanket pulled up and his head on his pillow. "I'm starting to wonder what it's like in the Champions Cabin; I haven't even slept in there yet."
Yannis nodded agreement since he hadn't either.
"I think out of us four the only person who has known the luxury of the Champion's Cabin is Paul." Stated Ulric. "What's it like Paul?"
Paul had been scrubbing on a stain with some sanitizer and looked up.
"It's pretty good; there is a vending machine and four poster beds. I spent a lot of the first night making my room nice and clean but let me tell you … the bed was very comfortable. Too bad we're on a bit of a losing streak … and I'll probably be the next to go." Finished Paul in a mumble.
"What makes you think that?" Asked Tyson curiously.
"Quarla's going to be gunning for me." Stated Paul. "I'm a bit of a 'bubble boy'; and quite frankly I'm physically the weakest member of the team. Still ... could be worse, I could be covered in mud."
"I'm not gonna vote for you dude." Said Tyson nicely.
Yannis nodded as if to say 'me neither'.
"I have to agree with Tyson and Yannis … though also I am afraid I have to say that Quarla is a strong member of the team. Still; I wouldn't really mind voting her off." Said Ulric.
"Who says we're gonna lose?" Asked Tyson. "Dudes; next challenge we're gonna win!"
"Here's hoping." Said Paul before flinching and continuing to scrub the stain. "Messy! Messy! Messy!"
Confessional: Dirty Bertie!
Paul: (He sprays some air freshener). My germaphobia has effected my strength as I'm a strictly indoors type of guy. Maybe I should have worked out a bit before I came here.
Ulric: I consider myself a tough guy; not much really makes me shrink down … but I have to admit that Quarla's anger does unnerve me a little even though she seems to tolerate me.
"I wonder what's for breakfast tomorrow." Pondered Tyson. "I could go for some sausage and bacon but knowing Chef Hatchet I doubt it."
"I'd prefer cereal or some fruit; I'm a vegetarian." Explained Ulric.
"Really? You don't strike me as the type dude." Mused Tyson.
"Even tough guys can have a softer side." Shrugged Ulric. "Though I can't stand asparagus."
"Can anyone?" Asked Paul.
Yannis nodded in agreement as he lay down to sleep.
Confessional: I hate celery and Chap Stick.
Yannis: (He holds up a picture of an asparagus and gags silently).
Tyson: (He is strumming on 'Sharon').
Quarla, Winnie and Xyly were in the girl's side of the Loser Cabin; Winnie was trying to settle down and go to sleep but Quarla was keeping her up while Xyly seemed to be in deep thought.
"Come on Quarla; I want to go to sleep." Yawned Winnie tiredly.
"I can't sleep; I'm too annoyed." Muttered Quarla while she whittled some wood. "We lost again and Helen was voted off instead of somebody deadweight."
"Helen did lose the challenge for us though." Pointed out Winnie.
"Xyly thinks that Winnie has a point." Agreed Xyly. "Helen was as boring as Math class."
"Seriously; she hated me because I was 'too exciting'." Added Winnie sleepily as she lay down on her pillow with her blanket pulled over her.
"But she saw the importance of the strong being in charge. Urrgh! If we keep voting off the best players when, and if, we lose it'll become harder to catch up to the other teams." Growled Quarla in frustration.
"Maybe." Yawned Winnie tiredly.
"Xyly thinks winning isn't everything; it's how you play the game." Shrugged Xyly.
"Well you'd think that; you're not getting voted off since you're strong." Frowned Quarla. "And Winnie; you aren't the strongest but you are better than Paul and Yannis by a considerable margin."
Quarla's reply was a soft sleepy breathing; Winnie had nodded off and was now fast asleep.
"Xyly thinks Winnie is asleep." Said Xyly.
"No, really?" Asked Quarla sarcastically.
Confessional: Sarcasm mode.
Quarla: Xyly is definitely strong … but I don't know if she's smart or retarded, it's kinda hard to tell.
Winnie: I had a good night's sleep and a very nice dream … and for once it wasn't about kitties. (Winnie giggles girlishly).
"I have a feeling the next challenge is going to be a physical one." Said Quarla. "I'm relying on you to be ready to use brute force on others if necessary."
"Xyly thinks that's a little mean." Said Xyly with a slight frown.
"Life is mean, misery builds character." Shrugged Quarla.
"You're giving Paul a lot of character then." Noted Xyly.
"I'm just enforcing the natural balance, only the strong survive. He is the weak and I am the strong." Explained Quarla. "I come from an inner city environment; you've gotta be tough to get by … besides, getting in a fight you know you can win is pretty fulfilling."
"If you say so." Said Xyly as she lay down and took her Viking helmet off to reveal more of her messy and curly blond hair. "What do you think Winnie is dreaming of?"
The two girls looked towards Winnie he was now sucking her thumb and smiling in her sleep.
"Who cares?" Asked Quarla dryly.
Confessional: I care!
Xyly: Dreams … where do they come from? … And where do they go? Xyly wonders that sometimes.
Quarla: Seriously; she's sixteen and sucks her thumb like she's only six months old … what a baby.
The next morning the twenty two contestants were in the Mess Hall eating breakfast as they did every morning. Sasha was playing on her DS as per always and was, specifically, playing a game entitled 'Linedaft'. Strange name I know.
"No, no, come on, dodge the energy discs! Whack them with the frying pan … darn it!" Pouted Sasha as she lost a life.
"Ooo, you almost had him." Said Eddie who was sitting next to Sasha.
"This game is hard … but it's as addictive as LittleBigPlanet. Speaking of which; one of my levels is MM Picked." Said Sasha as she pocketed her DS. "I really like originality when it comes to video games and LittleBigPlanet is one of the best in that respect, though I heavily enjoy Pikmin as well. The white Pikmin are such cute little Voldy impersonators."
Eddie laughed and soon Sasha was too.
"Here's hoping we win today's challenge; I like it in the first place cabin." Said Eddie.
"I do too." Said Zed from across the table. "It's classy; back home I ain't used to this level of luxury."
"I can believe that." Said Bishop as he ate some bacon.
Before Eddie or Sasha could make a snappy comeback Spider and Quana quickly ran into the Mess Hall.
"We've got good news guys." Said Quana excitedly.
"What is it? Are we each getting a complimentary bar of soap?" Asked Paul.
"No, better. Andy and Mable are about to arrive on the Island; VayVay is with them so we'll finally have a full alphabet." Exclaimed Quana.
"Everyone finish up on breakfast; we want to be there to great VayVay don't we?" Smiled Spider.
Confessional: Time for a first impression.
Winnie: I hope she likes kitties!
Alice: Great; now one of the other teams will have eight members again. Damn.
Ulric: Hopefully she'll be on our team.
Eddie: I wonder what VayVay is like.
Paul: I hope she's nice.
The twenty two campers were gathered around the Dock of Shame as a boat pulled in. Andy got off and helped Mable down by her hand which made her giggle.
"Hi everyone!" Waved Mable.
"Sorry we're late … it has been quite an eventful week so far." Explained Andy. "But we're here and ready to make this Chris-less season a success."
"It's good to see you two." Smiled Quana. "So … a hippie march stalled you huh?"
"Yeah … who knew Hippies could take things so far; though VayVay was very helpful to have around. Don't ask us to go into details." Requested Mable.
"Well; before we start the challenge I have only one thing to say … please welcome VayVay Mittens!" Announced Spider as a girl stepped off the boat.
VayVay was rather pretty had had almost luminous lime green eyes and curly light red hair with a small black top hat with blue stripes on it at the top. She wore a plain orange t-shirt and a bright green silk jacket. She also had a purple skirt with a blue base and a picture of a pink flower on it. Her shoes had the front cut off besides the soles which revealed her sockless feet.
"Greeting citizens of the mind flowered garden of life." Greeted VayVay in a very 'out there' type of feminine voice. "I have been on a journey through layers, upon layers … of discovery. I was spinning and then I was tumbling … and now everyone is smiling at me expect they don't have faces … so they aren't really smiling at me. But I am marveling at the wide variety of individuality and radiance. How are you?"
There were a few seconds of silence before Yannis walked up to VayVay and shook her hand, Winnie and Paul followed this action.
"Hello VayVay; I'm Winnie." Smiled Winnie. "And this is Yannis."
"Why doesn't he introduce himself? Is he shy as a sherbet shindig?"
"Actually he can't talk." Explained Winnie while Yannis nodded to confirm this.
"Hello; I'm Paul." Greeted Paul as he put on a medical glove and held his hand out for a shake.
VayVay shook Paul's hand and looked at him, as though she was looking into his soul.
"You have a very intelligent but hesitant mind the color of crush tulips I think we're going to get along fine." Smiled VayVay in a friendly way.
"Well everyone; that's VayVay." Summed up Spider. "Since she's getting along with Paul, Yannis and Winnie pretty well I think we can place her on Team Savannah."
"Fine by me; she has cooties." Gagged Fripp.
"Cooties are as unreal as fairy's … in other words quite real but at the same time they simply do not exist." Said VayVay calmly and with a sweet smile as she followed Winnie, Paul and Yannis over to her new team.
"Well everyone; follow me and my lovely and we'll explain today's challenge." Said Spider.
Confessional: Grooooooovy!
VayVay: Greetings children of cosmic love and doo dah; I hope you have a pleasant day … and Dennis, you left your keys behind the sofa. I don't know who I'm talking too but hopefully somebody called Dennis will find this conversation useful.
Paul: VayVay seems really nice.
Kim: I don't really like the new girl very much; she seems brain-dead.
Quarla: Looks like we've got some more elimination fodder.
The three teams were gathered around what looked like a miniature forest. Three large areas had ropes around them and a sign within each of them that had the logo of one of the teams.
"Today's challenge is going to be a physical one and will test your skills as a lumberjack." Began Spider. "You are going to be … cutting down trees."
"Xyly approves." Said Xyly as she took out her battle axe from nowhere at all.
"The team that cuts down the most trees will win … and be sure to clear the area when a tree falls. Stay alert at all times." Cautioned Quana. "The team that cuts down the least trees will be voting someone off."
"How are we going to cut down the trees? Only Xyly has a battle axe." Said Alice.
"Each of you will get an axe to use on the trees. You'll get one right now in fact" Said Spider as Oscar lugged a large crate up to the campers and began to pass out of the axes.
"Be careful with the axes; they're pretty sharp." Warned Oscar.
"And that reminds me … if you attempt to hit somebody else with the axe in ANY way, blade, flat or handle your team will be disqualified and you will likely get voted off … so just don't." Cautioned Spider seriously.
"That would be pretty unjustly bad." Agreed VayVay.
"You may begin …. Now!" Declared Spider.
The teams quickly ran to the trees and began to chop while Spider turned to the camera.
"So VayVay has arrived and is on Team Savannah and the contestants have to chop down trees. Who will chop and who will drop? And who will be the fourth person voted off? Found out when we return to Total Drama Letterama.
Confessional: Somebody isn't happy.
Irene: All those screaming sad trees … I am going to protest like I do back home! There shall be reckoning. I just need some chains.
So VayVay has arrived! What do you guys think of her? I hope you like her! And Irene is not happy about this challenge; stay tuned for the next chapter!
