Chapter 8: Rambling man

It seems I have been wandering around for what feels like forever I think as I walk down the road I remember from years ago. The houses look the same and the grass is the same brilliant green from my past. I bring my hand up to scratch an itch on my face and feel the long stubble on my cheek. I never thought I would let it grow but I haven't really been myself since that day. Yes, the day I left my family. I only realize now that they are my family and I screwed it all up. I desperately wanted to come back and when I did I vowed to start over. What a load of shit that was. I dare not ever go back there. They're better off with out me there to hurt them. I wince as I remember the day I hit Al. Why the hell did I do that? Then I shoved Winry when I was leaving. I really am a bastard and asshole. I don't deserve anyones love.

I chuckle lightly to myself as I make my way up a cement walk and come face to face with a door I hadn't seen in a very longtime. A wreath with dried pink and red flowers adorns the door and I can not help but smile. I touch it with my fingers and I remember when I made it. What has led me here I don't know. Maybe fate. Ha, fate is a loud of fucking shit.

I lift my hand to knock but the door opens and I am met with a young girl. I gasp as I realize how big she has gotten. A woman comes up behind her telling her not to open the door for strangers. But when she comes to the door she too gasps and whispers "Edward-kun" I don't know what to say except her name.

"Mrs. Hughes..." I also whisper.

I am seated on the couch in the living room. I lightly chuckle under my breath as my hands smoothes over the fabric.

"What's so funny?" Elysia asks me as she takes a seat next to me. I smile back at her.

"Well, this couch you see, you were born here." I smile at her as I remember how frightened I really was that day.

"How did you know that?" She asks of me.

"Well Edward-kun was here Elysia, it's been a while since you've seen him." Mrs. Hughes responds to her question as she enters with some tea. "Well, let's get you comfortable for your stay Edo."

"I..I won't be staying long.. I j-just..." I look down at my hands. Why am I here? I don't want to hurt anyone else. I should just leave. "Maybe it was a mistake that I came by... I.." I say as I watch her put the tea down and come up to me. She places a hand on my shoulder and then looks down at Elysia.

"Elysia, do you think you could get ready for bed? You know, get in your pajamas and brush your teeth?" She nods. "I'll be up in a few minutes." I watch the girl smile and then she embraces me and says good night. I blush at the contact. Its been weeks since I've been held and I oh so miss it. It reminds me of Winrys touch and I feel sad all of a sudden. Oh how I miss her. "Edward..." I look up into her eyes. I pull back in anger.

"I don't want your pity..." I'm not going to stay one minute. "I'm going to leave.." I say as I make my way to the door.

"What you did could not have been so bad that you had to leave for good..."

I turn with surprise evident on my face "How did you..?" I ask.

"Well... sorry but... look at you Edward-kun...you're a mess..." She moves to embrace me. I stiffen at the touch. "You remind me of someone from long ago... and I don't want you to go down the wrong path. Stay and let me help you. Maes would roll over in his grave if I did not offer you the help you seek."

I clench my fists. "I don't want your pity... or you to help me because you feel you have to."

"I'm not... I want to... but If I let you go out that door no one will ever see you again and you will be burdened with guilt for the rest of your natural life." She tightens her embrace around me and I reluctantly relax. And as the tension sails away a few tears fall from my golden eyes. I sob into the embrace and she soothes and whispers comforting words. She must've known the life I led when I was younger. I hate being handled like a broken soul. But that is what I am. I may be in my early twenties but I am still a child in so many ways.

The sunlights hits my face and I roll over. Gah, I hate mornings. The pull out couch was comfortable for maybe the first few hours. I open my eyes and am met with two big brown ones. I sit up and jump back. "Ahh!"

"Hehehe..." Elysia squeaks jumping on top of the bed.

"Is Edward-kun up yet?" I hear Mrs. Hughes yell from the nearby kitchen. I groan at those words. If she calls me that one more time I swear.

"She just startled me." I reply as I get up and grab my pants and pull them up over my boxers. I reach for my shirt but Elysia grabs it and runs away. "Elysia please, can I have my shirt...?" I ask as I make my way after her. How does this kid have so much energy this early? As I get closer she throws the shirt at me. "Thanks". I smile at her so she doesn't think I'm mad. I guess it works because the next think I know she is hugging me again.

"Give me a piggy back ride Edo!" She exclaims. I use to give them to Al all the time. It's only been a few weeks but I miss his terribly.

"How about later?" I hug her back and she nods then scampers off.

"Those clothes you are wearing of filthy, first thing after breakfast you're going to take a decent shower." She says as I enter the kitchen putting my shirt over my head. "Then let's cut your hair and shave your face." I make a face at that. "Then we can get you a new set of clothes." She smiles at me. "Someone should wear them all!"

"Mrs. Hughes you really don't have to do that." I tell her as I am seated at the little table. "it wouldn't be right..."

"Of course it would. Someone should wear them. It's either you or they're going to the homeless shelter down the street." I reluctantly agree.

She stands in front of me with a pair of scissors. I laugh nervously "Just a little right?" I ask. My face is probably white as a ghost.

"Well I was thinking of cutting it all off." A look of horror adorns my face. "Edo I was just kidding!" She starts to laugh.

"That wasn't funny." I scowl at her as I cross my arms.

"Your temper hasn't changed a bit Edward-kun" She says as she smoothes her hands through my hair and prepares to cut.

"Ya know, you don't have to call me Edward-kun.. I'm not a kid anymore..." i mumble.

"Well, to me you will always be that sweet boy that helped me when Elysia was born." I blush as I remember. I was so scared that day. I was so sure she was going to die and to this day the thought of a child being born makes me want to run in fear. I know, I know, I have battled homoculi, gone through the gate and come back and I am scared of the thought of a kid coming into the world. Realistic fear isn't it? "Besides, what do you want me to call you?" She laughs." You're not married, so Kun is appropriate for now." She laughs some more as I let something slip.

"Well I was a close..." Her hands stop and she takes in a breath. I wince. Why did I have to go and say something like that. But it was the truth. If I had stayed I would've married Winry one day.

"What do you mean?" She asks me.

I take in a breath. "Winry..." I say to her.

"Ohh... you love her?" She asks as her hands to go through my golden locks once more. I am so relaxed so if she asks me anything I doubt I will lie or divert the questions.

"Yes..." I pause. "And I screwed it up." I tell her.

"Tell me about it." She asks me. Great now she wants to know about that too. "How can I help you if you can't confide in me?"

"FIne.. FIne.." I mumble and prepare myself for the answer. "I denied my feelings for so long, I got mad at Al because he tried to get me to admit them... I... I hit him...I've never hit my brother out of anger before." I look down at my hands.

"I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it.." She tells me.

I continue. "And Winry.." I sigh. "We fight all the time... always about stupid things... but the day I left was different. She just got me so angry... I told her I regretted it... and she said she wished she never met me."

"Oh Edward..."

"I know... we are so stubborn and have tempers. It's like we can't help it. Anyway, I left that day. Of course she followed me."

"Well she loves you..." I hear snipping come from behind me.

"She jumped on me and I shoved her off. She... she fell and hit the ground. I became disgusted with myself and left for good. I originally was just going to leave to think. But after that I had decided to never go back. They are better off with out me." An image of Wnry falling to the ground and looking at me in fear comes into my vision. I had never seen her gaze at me with fear in her eyes before. How could I have been so careless.

Mrs. Hughes came into view then and kneeled in front of me. "You know that isn't true..."

"Well I can't go back now..." I told her as sadness consumes me.

"I tell you what.." She puts her hands in mine and grips tight "Why don't you stay here until we sort everything out." She paused then. "I'm not trying to replace your mother Edward but let me be your friend." I nod at her and she smiles.