Part 9: True Vision and True Blindness
"Mother coming between us? That can't be true. I thought you two were getting along well."
Margaret let out a deep sigh, "I didn't want to put any more stress or pressure on you. I didn't speak out when I should have but we are barely civil to each other when we are alone together. When you are present, it is an entirely different story."
John frowned, "So this isn't just about her convincing me to purchase Hampers?"
"No, but I was angry as you know, I did speak out that time. Again, I was dismissed like a silly little girl."
John put his hand up to his jaw to stroke it recalling how both he and his mother treated her. She was right. They treated her like a child. He saw it clearly now.
He dropped his hand and raised his eyes to her to speak but she continued, "But this isn't just about Hampers. Think John. When else did she come between us and our future plans?"
His mind worked but it didn't take long for it to dawn on him, "The planning of the wedding."
Margaret nodded, "That is not all. The property outside of Milton."
"You knew about that?"
"Yes, Fanny in her own unique way divulged that you were entertaining presenting me with the property with a, how did Fanny describe it, large dirty old cottage, as a wedding gift but your mother had many arguments against it. Fanny told me that she did not rest until you gave up the idea entirely saying that you and…your wife belonged here in Milton with your mills and..."
"…with her. Her loyal and devoted son." John finished while shaking his head while rubbing his forehead. He suddenly felt very disgusted with himself. Again, Margaret was showing him the light and this time what it revealed was painful and even ugly.
"I didn't want to say it."
"I know. I am glad you did and I am ashamed I didn't realize it."
John felt like a fool. In his heart he knew that Margaret would have loved that property. Why didn't he follow it?
When he went out to view the land and cottage, the feel of the south and Helstone instantly came to mind and he could see Margaret happily situated everywhere he looked and he pictured himself right besides her in that happiness. It even had adult hedge rose bushes and a patch of woods nearby with a little stream running through it.
The cottage wasn't dirty as Fanny led Margaret to believe. It was well kept, perfectly furnished, large and very comfortable with much character inside and out. He had liked it instantly and was sure Margaret would have as well.
It had every room that his current residence had and just as spacious but with one big difference…it had charm and with Margaret mistress of it, he was sure that love, warmth and eventually children would fill the rooms.
He never believed he could be happy in the country but since Helstone and Margaret…well, he knew he had been very wrong in that assumption.
As he walked the property, the fresh air invigorated him and the multiple bird's singing in the wood was like a sweet melody to his hardened ears. He even found a secluded picturesque spot where he would take Margaret on his first official picnic and as his wife he imagined their love making under the shade of the trees. How his heart had thrilled at the thought.
And yet, his mother cleverly convinced him that it was too far from the mills using Margaret as the main excuse not to obtain the property. How she wouldn't be able to see him during the day and leaving her alone outside where he could not get to her so quickly if she needed him. She falsely gave the impression that she was only thinking of his future wife's welfare.
Then the wedding plans. The date kept on being put off or there was always something going wrong with the arrangements. And reflecting back, in almost every instance of change and misunderstanding regarding the planning he heard his mother's voice speaking not Margaret's. And she always stood in the forefront with arms crossed while Margaret stood in the background silent.
Then John suddenly remembered. Mrs. Hale's wedding dress!
John had known how excited Margaret was to wear her mother's wedding dress because she told him during one of their walks how she would sneak into her mother's keepsake chest and take it out and try it on when she was a young girl.
She demonstrated to him as they walked one moonlit night how she had dramatically paraded around the bed chamber pretending it was her wedding day and danced with her imaginary groom around and around the room.
She was mesmerizing as she acted out the memory for him from her youth. It must have been the magical moonlight that transformed her usually calm exterior into a dancing fairy.
He grinned widely as she waltzed with her imaginary groom; never before seeing this playful side of her. He couldn't help but cut in and take up her hand and wrap his arm around her waist and take up the wedding dance with her.
Her eyes sparkled with exuberance and his with high spirits. There they danced on the secluded pathway; he twirled her around and out and then back to him, her gentle laughter rang beautifully in his ears. When they reached a more public part of the path the dance had to stop bring both back to a more subdued merriment as their pace returned to a slow stroll.
John took her hand and wrapped it around his arm while glancing down at her asking her why not pretend walking down the aisle to her awaiting groom like any typical young girl? She then said in a matter-in-fact tone that the room wasn't big enough to get the desired results of doing the wedding march down a long isle.
John had laughed heartily at this assuring her that he will make sure he found the longest isle for her to walk down for their wedding. Margaret just shook her head saying that she had waited too long and now desired the shortest isle.
John could not fault this logic and it was at that time that they set the official date which later, was changed mainly due to his mother's interference.
Now the wedding dress…
Since Margaret's parents were gone, wearing her mother's dress had even more meaning for her; the dress was like having her mother present in some small way.
How upset she was when it got ruined accidentally. Or was it and accident? At the time he had doubts but he never for an instant considered his mother would do something that vindictively.
Dixon had brought it along when she arrived back to Milton. Margaret was still staying in the in the house and the dress had been hung up in a spare room awaiting alterations. It was in pristine condition but when the dress maker came two days later it was found to have fresh oil and dirt stains all over it like someone was handling the dress.
Margaret was devastated but hid it well and dismissed it as an unfortunate accident. She had everyone fooled until he found her crying the next night.
It tore his heart apart to see her tears. He wanted so desperately to shield her from every hurt. Could it have been prevented? And it was that thinking, while comforting her in his arms, he had wondered if the ruination of the dress was an accident.
His mother had told him that she was sure it was one of the house staff who was admiring the dress and handling it. It seemed plausible but still to John, the amount of oil went beyond the typical dirty-handed absentminded servant.
When John took it upon himself to investigate into the matter he found that all the staff was very adamant that they didn't even know about the dress or go into that particular room. It was believed that Dixon, Margaret, himself and his mother were the only persons who knew about the dress.
It couldn't have been Dixon. She handled the dress like it was the most precious piece of clothing on the planet. Margaret and he were innocent which left only one person left. Even then he had thought it was unfathomable that his mother could have purposely hurt Margaret in such a way.
Now, with Margaret in front of him informing him reluctantly about his own blindness to his mother's disregard towards her, John emitted a slight groan. He may be seeing for the first time another side of his mother.
It was true what it is said about true blindness comes to those who think they see the clearest. He quickly crossed the space between them and engulfed her into his arms and in a low hoarse voice filled with emotion, "I have been so blind Maggie."
There was no doubt that he wasn't thinking of her as a child at that moment and Margaret raised her hand to his cheek, "I really don't think she realizes what she is doing John. And if I were her I would fight to keep you number one in my affections."
It was what his mother had once told him. And then John remembered his mother's other words. I'm sure she will take you from me. I hate her. I've tried not to; when I thought she would make you happy. And if you won't hate her, then I must.
She knew exactly what she was doing and still, ever the kindest and sweetest, Margaret was here making excuses for her.
It pained him to believe that his mother would actually plot to come between Margaret and himself. But he now relived past events where his mother clearly played devils advocate in the planning of his life with Margaret. She meant to cling to him and slowly push Margaret into the background.
And as much as it hurt him to admit it he almost allowed it to happen and for the first time in his life he was furiously angry at his mother. She didn't want his happiness; she wanted hers and hers only. And her only son was her happiness.
Margaret feared that expression crossing his face, "John, don't. I am sure it wasn't intentionally done. She loves you so much. Don't be too harsh on her."
"Not intentional! Margaret, I can't help believe now that the dress wasn't an accident. That it was my mother who…"
"John please don't confront her." She put her hands on his upper arms and her eyes pleaded, "Let it go."
"I can't let her continue and will need to ask her about the dress."
Margaret's mouth opened to say something but instead she shook her head as she stuttered out a meek plea, "John no…please."
The look of panic in her eyes told the tale and his eyes widened, "You believe she did it?"
Margaret didn't speak and her eyes suddenly were casted down which answered his question and her look also answered another question he had. He took her chin and raised it up, "No, you know that she did it."
Her face paled and wouldn't allow her to lie to him. Reluctantly she nodded, "John, you were to never know. Please let it go. I don't want to be the one to come between you two. Please John. I have forgiven her. Let us concentrate on our future not the past."
John saw her eyes watering proving her sincerity. He didn't doubt she would have taken the secret of the ruination of the dress to the grave with her.
He looked down at this woman that was to be his wife and loved surged out of every fiber of his being for her. He could not promise her that he couldn't let what his mother did go unpunished but he could put it aside for now and concentrate on deserving her and making her happy.
He gently kissed her forehead and released her out of his embrace and went to the office door, opened it and waved the man waiting in, "Have a seat Higgins. Miss Hale and I have a proposition to throw at you."
Cap in hand, "Thank you master, I prefer to stand."
John nodded and walked around to his desk chair and sat down in it and Margaret came to stand by him. He reached up and took her hand into his and gently drew her closer to the chair where he sat.
Looking seriously at the man John spoke, "Higgins it seems my future wife thinks I am in need of a partner and she insists it be you. What do you say to that?"
Higgins eyes widen in surprise. Partner! Him master!
A slow knowing smile appeared as he glanced affectionately at Miss Margaret. She was thinking of the orphans. Leave it to her. She was the kindest and most generous lady he ever met.
Turning back he then addressed his master, "I say that what'ver the misses want's, be mindful she gets." He gave Margaret a friendly wink and added, "You don't want to lose this one master."
Looking up into Margaret's beautiful face and their eyes locking on each other John spoke, "I couldn't agree with you more Higgins." John squeezed her hand, "I won't risk losing this one."
