Disclaimer: I own nothing related to High School Musical or Disney, any songs or familiar names/places that may appear are not mine either. i do not own the Broken Wing series either. I, in no way, own Jennifer Chung or her music or anything related to her. Just a very big fan =)
Title: Foolin' the World
A/N: thanks for reviewing =) here's the next chapter! please review=) Also, Gabriella's song in this chapter is Everyone Needs by Jennifer Chung on youtube. check her out! Her original songs are beautiful!!!!! Her account is JenniferJChung. She is amazing. So yeah go take a look at that if you would like to hear what Gabriella's lyrics sound like. One more thing, on photobucket i put some pictures together for Foolin' the World. The link is in my profile. They're banners like runninequalslife has on her profile, although not nearly as good =) So look at those if you want to. That's it. I hope you enjoy.
Revelation
Narrator:
The three girls of Group #30 had just taken their seats at the all too familiar rectangle table after reciting the school prayer to their guides. A good couple minutes had passed, none of them saying a word, out of habit, although each was curious as to where the boys were.
"The boys are late." Taylor stated, finally overcoming the silence that filled the room, for not only were the boys late, but Dr. Sloane wasn't present either.
"Yeah. How exactly do you manage that?" Sharpay asked incredibly, "If they found some way to get pass those fucking guides I need to know pronto. Should tell Brianna too." Gabriella and Taylor rolled their eyes at Sharpay's last sentence that had been muttered as an after thought, not meant for their ears.
Deciding to prolong the small conversation she and her two group members had going, Gabriella voiced the obvious, "Dr. Sloane isn't here either."
Taylor looked around the room, slowly and deliberately, until she finally said in a near whisper, "You think," Taylor stared into Gabriella's eyes, seeing as she was seated directly to her right at the table, "It's a trap?"
"You did not just say that in such a serious tone!" Gabriella tried to put humor into her words, but failed.
Taylor merely continued to stare into Gabriella's brown eyes that were peculiarly dull today. "…You know you're thinking it too."
At this, Gabriella turned away from Taylor's gaze and peered out the window across from her, knowing she indeed was thinking it too.
"Alright," a deep voice sounded from outside the door, causing Gabriella, Taylor, and Sharpay to turn to face the doorway behind their backs, "Dr. Sloane will be here momentarily. Let me hear the prayer." It was one of the boy's guides.
Unanimously, the boys of Group #30 recited the school prayer in a trance-like voice, no inflection heard, just repeating what had been said every morning and night for the last 10 days. "I am nothing. I am less than nothing. I am a burden to my family and to my country. Who I am is indecent and I must change. Quickly and efficiently, I must change and improve myself to the standards of God. I must thank Dr. Sloane for every punishment I receive for it brings me to a higher calling and better life."
"Good. See you in an hour, boys." The door opened revealing the 3 male group members, each looking especially bored on their tenth day in Willow Oak Clinic.
First, Ryan Evans came in with his friendly, small smile directed towards each girl. His short-sleeved dark green shirt reflected the green specks in his kind eyes. He slowly, despairingly walked behind the girls' chairs to get to his own across from Sharpay, who gave him no acknowledgement.
Next, Chad Danforth with his signature wild hair that surprisingly added to his good looks entered the room with his also signature "I don't care" expression. Still, the girls could feel the good nature he naturally portrayed, and Gabriella smiled at him, comforted by the easy-going aura that he filled the room with. He wore a short-sleeved black v-neck shirt, with a white undershirt, and light jeans with a red design on the front pocket. As he walked to the left of Taylor, past Dr. Sloane's seat, and to his own chair across from Gabriella, he said a quiet "Hey, guys," to the silent girls, at the same time returning Gabriella's sweet smile with one of his own.
Finally, the boy who Gabriella had been dreading to see since her encounter with him 7 hours earlier sauntered into the room with his hands in his pockets. Unlike every other day, Troy Bolton walked straight to his seat, ignoring Taylor's glare, and refrained from looking at Gabriella. Not even one glance from the corner of his eye, Troy just stared straight ahead. His long-sleeved dark blue shirt with a white pattern on the front, paired with dark jeans and a white belt made Gabriella stare at him with a desire she immediately felt ashamed of. His hair was tousled and wet, obviously just coming from a shower, and Gabriella's thoughts of that, caused another round of shame.
Disappointed that Troy had ignored her glare instead of returning one like usual, Taylor improvised, "Oh Jesus. This day is already starting off weird."
Troy quickly looked at Taylor as he sat down in his chair across from her, and asked uncaringly, "What."
"Troy Bolton actually came in for group therapy without getting the club!" Taylor exclaimed, mocking Troy's idiotic behavior. The club was like one of those discipline sticks that cops carry around. Only, for the members of Willow Oak Clinic, the guides held them and used it when they felt necessary. Misbehavior, swearing, misconduct, talking out of turn, anything that they felt asked for a hit from the club, then they gave it. And Troy received it a lot.
Troy shrugged, no longer looking at Taylor, instead staring at a piece of art on the wall behind her, "Yeah, well, I'm turning over a new leaf."
"Right." Taylor responded disbelievingly.
"Really. This place does wonders." The sarcasm that filled the room from both Taylor and Troy was overwhelming.
"Bolton's actually been acting really weird all day." Chad chimed in, "I think he has his period."
Taylor smiled at Chad's remark, while Troy just kept on examining the painting. "Jesus Chad. How'd you know? Follow me into the bathroom this morning or something?"
"He's definitely not anywhere close to a girl." Sharpay noted while admiring Troy's features from the other end of the table.
"The hitting on Bolton is getting really old, Summers." Ryan complained for the 3 other group members in the room who agreed. Troy could care less.
"Quit calling me Summers, Evans."
"Only if you quit drooling over Troy, Summers."
"Guys," Troy's tone of annoyance mirrored that of Ryan's, "I really can't handle another one of your sissy fights today, alright?"
"They're only sissy cause Evans is such a-"
"Good morning, students!" Dr. Sloane entered the room cutting off Sharpay's insult, "I'm sorry for coming in so late. Arriving after my students is something I detest doing. However, I had to attend to Mr. Cross and Mr. Baylor." Dr. Sloane took her seat at head of the table, "Now, we have much to get done today, seeing as it's your 10th day here and you're notebooks are due."
At the end of their first group therapy session, each student had gotten a black notebook. Something, as Dr. Sloane put it, to vent into, to release every emotion you have that you feel you cannot show in person. She said to write about their lives, what got them into this situation, and how they feel about their lives before, and now. What they think will become of them. What the people in their lives are feeling, who they miss, who they hate, who they love. Pretty much, she said to write about everything these 6 kids were unwilling to write about.
Troy was still staring at the painting, not out of interest, he hated paintings, nor out of absentmindedness. For Troy was thinking of a lot. Gabriella Montez. "The last time I let someone in…I tried to kill myself." When she had said that Troy's body went paralyzed. He had no idea what to say and what to do. So when Gabriella ran out of the bathroom, he didn't follow her. He didn't stop her, like he wanted to.
Chad elbowed his side and whispered so Dr. Sloane couldn't hear, "Dude, get your shit-book out." Troy followed Chad's order in a hypnotic state, barely registering the fact that he leaned down to his bag and pulled out the black notebook resting in it. He was still thinking about Gabriella, but in a different way than he had been all week. Instead of her body, her face, her voice, and her personality, he was now thinking about what could've happened to make her want to die. He was thinking about the 'person she let in', he was thinking of ways he could help, but was coming up with nothing. He was thinking about helping her, but in order to do that he needed to know what was hurting her.
"Now, as I said at your first group therapy session, on this day all of you will share a section of your notebook with the rest of us. Of course they are not complete, yet. They will be complete the day you leave my school, the day you are truly enlightened. And until that day you will continue writing in your notebooks. Your personal escapes. However, in order for us to be saved, it is a requirement that we share what is hurting us. Unless we know what hurts one another, how is it that we will be saved?" Those words slightly pulled Troy out of his trance. To think he actually understood and agreed with what Dr. Sloane was saying! "Ms. Montez? Why don't you start and set an example for your classmates, as usual?"
If the disgust and surprise he felt at agreeing with Dr. Sloane wasn't enough to send Troy back to reality, the possibility of Gabriella talking about her life, potentially talking about how she tried to kill herself, sent him flying back to reality and made him hit the ground unbelievably hard. He couldn't hear Gabriella say those words again! He couldn't bear to hear her say she was suicidal again! Even if he wanted answers, he wasn't ready for them. He wouldn't be ready until his heart came back from being shredded from the first time he heard Gabriella say those things.
Gabriella looked away from Troy for the first time since he entered completely ignoring her. Sure she was looking at him because he looked especially gorgeous in this particular ensemble, but moreover, she was looking at him to see what his reaction was from that morning, one AM. She wished she didn't look. Just as she expected, he wasn't acknowledging her, he wouldn't even look at her, which was a drastic change since before he would make her unbearably uncomfortable by never ceasing his gaze on her. Of course she didn't show her uneasiness, instead just stared straight ahead out the window. But today, it was so different. It was so different because of what she said earlier. He was reacting like he had. She was thankful it wasn't anywhere close to a reaction like her ex-boyfriend but…this reaction brought back even more painful memories. Taking a deep breath, trying to swallow every thought about Troy Bolton and his agonizingly familiar reaction to her confession, Gabriella finally spoke in her always confident voice, no matter what was going on in her head, "Yes, Doctor Sl--"
"NO!" Gabriella's eyes whipped back to Troy in response to his loud panicked outburst.
"Excuse me, Mr. Bolton?" Dr. Sloane inquired, for once, seeming just as confused as her students.
"I mean…" Troy cleared his throat, "I'll go."
As everyone in the room's eyes widened from even greater surprise, Dr. Sloane went back to the normality of things and remained composed, not the slightest bit surprised at Troy for volunteering, "Very well, Mr. Bolton. Since you did behave this morning and refrained from getting punishment from your guide I will grant you one merit, which brings you to…"
"Twenty!" Troy butted in, also back to his old, outspoken self, "Hallelujah! Level 2 get out the swords and shields! Troy Bolton is coming and he's a man who you do NOT…"
"Negative 5, Mr. Bolton."
"Okay you know I was just kidding about that twenty points and everything. But I had negative 5 yesterday. You just gave me a merit…the math in my head is saying I have a negative 4. Dr. Sloane…stick to being a tight ass, math isn't your forte."
"And now that's a negative 6. That's two demerits in a row for your entire group. Be careful Mr. Bolton."
"Only Bolton would get a positive and not only cancel it out with a demerit but get behind with another one!"
"Ms. McKessie, counting the 2 demerits Mr. Bolton earned your group, and the one you've just given, that's Negative 4 for you. Tsk, you were so close to being in the positives with your good behavior and attitude." Taylor looked down at the table and Dr. Sloane, in triumph, turned back to Troy, "Now, Mr. Bolton. If you wouldn't mind, please, read from your notebook."
"Right. Well…" Troy started at the beginning of his notebook and flipped through the pages, glimpsing at what was written, "That's inappropriate," he turned another page, "Can't say that," another page, "The soup sucked today. Why can't Baylor be in my group to make food for us? Oh, nevermind, Sloane wouldn't approve of that 'absolute dependence'," one more page, "Shouldn't say that," and another, "My guide totally has the hots for Chad, say this when everyone's listening." A few snickers could be heard from Sharpay and Taylor, while Chad just looked at Troy in bewilderment and disbelief. Troy turned one more page and then closed the notebook, "The end," Troy smirked, "Hello, my name is Troy Bolton, and you've just listened to my notebook. Thank you and goodnight."
Dr. Sloane was not amused, "You don't have anything else to say?"
"Nope, didn't really follow the directions so…"
"Turn to the page from two days ago."
Troy paused and then asked, "What?"
"Now, Mr. Bolton."
Troy knew he couldn't afford another demerit so he did as he was told, and flipped a couple pages. "Here. The page from two days ago, don't have an orgas—"
Chad stomped on Troy's foot, before he could finish his statement, which would've cost the group a lot of negative points.
Dr. Sloane ordered once again. "Read it."
Troy had another out of character pause before he was back to himself, "Okay, well, the background story to this entry is that, you know, since we're practically Amish in this place…well I miss music and…other things."
"Read it, Mr. Bolton."
"Fine, remember though, you asked." And then, in a beautiful singing voice that did not go along with the song he was performing, Troy burst out into Me So Horny by 2 Live Crew. "What do we get for ten dollars?" Troy asked in a dramatically low voice and then replied in a dramatically high voice, causing everyone, including Gabriella to laugh heartily, "Every ting you want." Low voice, "Everything?" High voice, "Every ting. Oh. Ah. Oh, sock it to me! Ah!" By now, everyone from Behaved Gabriella to Hateful Taylor were trying to hold back their strong laughter, making stifled sounds fill the room. However, all control was lost once Troy hit the chorus on a perfect beat and amazing voice, that no one due to their incessant laughter, but Dr. Sloane noticed, "I'm so horny, I-I'm so horny, I'm so horny, Me loves you long time. I'm so horny, I-I'm so horny, so horny, so-so horny, me loves you long time! So horny, so-so horny. I'm so horny." Troy was banging on the table with his hands in rhythm to the song.
"Negative 8. I suggest you read what's really written there, Mr. Bolton, or else that's five straight demerits. Even you aren't dense enough or cruel enough to put your group at risk for discovering what punishment lies behind 5 straight demerits."
The laughter in the room slowly settled and Troy looked at Dr. Sloane with a blank expression. The intensity in Dr. Sloane's eyes must have convinced Troy that she was serious. Troy solemnly looked down at his notebook, scanning over his words, looking for a way to edit what he had actually written. But, he knew if he did that he'd just get another demerit. And Dr. Sloane was wrong, he was stupid enough to discover the punishment behind 5 straight demerits, he was curious, but she was right in that he wouldn't make his group endure whatever punishment it was. Well…he wouldn't make Gabriella endure it.
All eyes were on Troy, when they realized he really didn't have the lyrics to 2 Live Crew written, because truthfully, they weren't surprised at all that he did. Now, they were shocked and anticipating what was actually on the paper in front of him. Troy started, strangely hesitant, "…It's September 15th." He stopped.
"Go on Mr. Bolton, or I'll have someone else read it for you."
That seemed to persuade Troy to continue in a tedious tone,
"It's September 15th.
I see her. I see her smile. I see her joy.
It's her birthday. She holds her stuffed bear to her heart.
A message. A silent message only I understand.
The bear's there to protect her. It'll protect her, when I can't.
It'll save her when I can't. It'll love her since I can't.
It'll always be there, when I'm not.
I want to be there. I want to protect her. I want to save her. I want to love her.
How?
Is it possible?
I don't see how it is.
It's her birthday. I'm not there.
The bear's there.
I'm gone. Does she know I'm gone?
Or does the bear fill my place, more than I wish it would?
Does she miss me? Or find joy in my absence?
Is she sad? Or unknowingly relieved?
How different is it for her? Is it different at all?
So many questions.
But three things I am sure of.
It's September 15th. It's her birthday. And,
She's better off without me.
The room was silent. Absolutely still, there was no movement, and not a sound. Everyone was too mesmerized and utterly shocked at Troy to move an inch. The dullness in Gabriella's eyes vanished at seeing Troy in such a sweet, thoughtful state. Maybe he really was more than the bad guy he makes out to be?
"Thank you, Mr. Bolton." Dr. Sloane broke the quiet beauty of Troy's words. "We'll save who she is for another day."
Troy was back to looking at the painting. A distant look overtook his features, clearly not thinking of Gabriella anymore.
"Ms. Montez? Why don't you go now?"
Troy instantly looked at Dr. Sloane who was looking at Gabriella. Well, now he was thinking of Gabriella. His heart was still shredded, even more so after sharing his notebook entry. So, thinking on his feet, Troy kicked Chad's chair. Chad looked over at Troy in confusion, but Troy just kicked him again.
"Dude what is it?!"
"Mr. Danforth, is there something wrong?" Dr. Sloane's attention turned to Chad.
"Actually, Doctor," Troy started, "Chad wanted to share his story."
Chad looked at Troy incredulously.
"Very well, Mr. Danforth. Go ahead. Select anything you desire."
"Better do it or get another demerit," Troy whispered to Chad's angry face. In defeat and agreement, Chad opened his own black notebook and flipped to a page near the beginning.
"I love how quiet it is when the 6 of us are buried in our books. It's the only time when it's peaceful enough that I can think of my mom. When it's loud I just can't think of her. My mom and chaos just doesn't fit. Funny that I write that considering all the chaos I brought into her world. I don't know what she expected. I don't know how she believed in me so much. But eventually, living in such a bad place, I was going to get caught up in the bad, too." Gabriella looked at Chad with understanding written in her eyes. She knew what it was like to get caught up in bad, though she didn't have a bad neighborhood to use as an excuse. "I only stole things I could sell," Chad continued in a far-off voice, "And I did it for her. She needed the money to live and I needed her to live. But then that night," Chad stammered, "I never meant for that to happen. I didn't think things would get so out of control. Everyone misunderstood, I mean, I misunderstood. I just hope they're okay. My mom and that girl."
Although it wasn't as impacting as Troy's, Chad's words still left silence in the air, which Dr. Sloane, like before, broke. "Good, Mr. Danforth. You are back to plus 3."
Now Chad was copying Troy's distant demeanor.
Seeing the two hottest boys of the group in such a dismal state, Sharpay sighed in frustration. Where was the fun she promised herself she would have?
Dr. Sloane responded to her exclamation. "Ms. Summers? Perhaps you'd like to go next."
Sharpay turned to a page. It was amazing how border lining 5 straight demerits could make the most misbehaved behave. "I had the money, I had the dresses, I had the popularity, and I had the opportunities…but most of all, I had those expectations. I didn't want to be popular and I didn't want to be perfect." Gabriella glanced at Sharpay, "So I wasn't. First I tried drugs, but nothing gave me more of a thrill than drinking. The fun you could have! Body shots and games! People finally noticed me for me, instead of for what my brother and sister have accomplished. Not for my parent's reputation or my last name. It was finally me making a name for myself. No matter how twisted a name it may be. I just didn't realize how twisted the world around me would get. I was always looking for more fun and for more attention and I wanted to get my mom's more than anything." Gabriella nodded her head slightly, "So I did it by spiking the punch at her White Glove Society meeting. Best laughs of my life!" Sharpay smiled remembering that evening, "It got me sent here, but hey, fun people should be here. I want fun, I need fun, or else I'll be reminded of that time when I felt nothing but dread and fear."
"Good Ms. Summers. Merit, I think that brings you to a positive 2."
Sharpay avoided eye contact with anyone seeking it, and imitated Troy and Chad's behavior, contradicting her previous reasons for frustration, making Ryan roll his eyes from across from her.
Which, of course, Dr. Sloane detected in a heartbeat, "Mr. Evans. Your up."
Ryan looked down at the page his notebook was already opened to and silently cursed himself for rolling his eyes and therefore targeting himself for Sloane's next victim. "I can't stop thinking about drugs. Especially when Dr. Sloane gives us time to write in our notebooks like this. It's all I can think about. Detox is the hardest thing I've ever been through. But that's a lie, now that I look back at it. The hardest thing I've been through…I have to keep reliving everyday. Her death is what I have to relive everyday. I miss her almost as much as I miss drugs. She meant everything and now she's gone, just like my remedies are gone. If she were here she'd call me the biggest brainless idiot she'd ever meet. I am an idiot. And if I had my drugs, I could be brainless."
"Thank you Mr. Evans. That's plus 6 for you."
Ryan nodded, unable to do anything more.
"Now," Dr. Sloane continued, "Ms. Montez?"
Troy faintly heard Dr. Sloane call on Gabriella. He faintly heard Gabriella's "ok" and he faintly heard her pages turning in search of an entry that would be acceptable, but not too revealing just as every other kid in the room had done. He faintly heard all of this, but was too much in his own world of distant memories, and of present thoughts to do anything about it. It didn't matter. Even if she did talk about her suicidal behavior, he would only faintly hear it, right?
Gabriella had stopped on a page. "My entries are a bit different than everyone else's, Dr. Sloane."
"I know, Ms. Montez. Yet, if you think about it, Mr. Bolton had quite the unique entry as well. Both of your methods are every bit as therapeutic as your classmate's journal entries. Please, continue."
Gabriella started, her sweet voice filling the room, "Did you…"
"I think," Dr. Sloane interrupted, "It'd be best if you did it the way it was meant to be done, don't you think Ms. Montez?"
"I didn't know if it was allowed."
"Of course, the alternative is something I never want you to experience."
The alternative, Gabriella thought. Breaking down from saying what was written, just speaking it instead of singing it would have me in tears from the first line. Because, if I sing it, the music can drown out the truth of the words, the music can drown out the depressing thoughts that would undoubtedly obscure my mind once I started.
Gabriella allowed her eyes to scan the room, first seeing Chad's eyes focused on the table, then Troy's beautiful blues on the matching navy blue wall, Dr. Sloane staring right at her, Taylor looking bored as ever, over to her right Sharpay was staring out the window, while Ryan was looking hopefully towards the door behind Taylor. It helped that not one of them was paying attention. Drawing in a deep breath, Gabriella prepared herself to sing.
"Did you pray today," her angelic voice covered the air and immediately five heads swiveled up, around, and over to look at the beautiful girl with the beautiful voice. "As the tears fell down from my face?" The room was silent, in awe of Gabriella's singing and words, "And there's nowhere for me to escape. And I'm not sure if there's anyone to blame." She paused, taking in one quick gulp of air, "I feel so lost. The path before me just seems so dark. Is this really the only way?" Troy's eyes bore into Gabriella who's own brown orbs were unnecessarily focused on her pages in the notebook, until they slowly lifted to meet Troy's for the last line of the verse, "Isn't there anyone who can save me?"
No one spoke, as usual. It was the same uneasy silence, the silence that was guaranteed when people in rehab reveal a part of their past. It was uncomfortable like the four silences that occurred before Gabriella's, it was comfortable for them all, except for two people in the room. Troy and Gabriella seemed to be in another world. But somehow, it wasn't really another world. It was more like, they let each other into their worlds. The worlds that, until that moment, they had never let anyone into for reasons only they knew. But now, because Troy was gazing at Gabriella with eyes of pure amazement, of pure care and pleasure, he was letting Gabriella into his world. Troy's world that he didn't even knew existed. A world of love.
"Beautiful, Ms. Montez," praised Dr. Sloane, "Wonderful, that's plus 8. Now, for the rest of class, we are going to be working on your addictions, as different as they all are."
"Taylor didn't have to go!" Sharpay blurted. Her defiant, raged words sent Troy's eyes moving a couple inches to the left, away from Gabriella and to Sharpay. He couldn't help but smirk at Sharpay's outspoken, abrasive nature. The kind of disposition that would be so satisfying in bed…and now lust was in his eyes.
Gabriella frowned and looked down at the wood in front of her, mentally kicking herself. A moment ago she had been falling for the deep blue gaze Troy was giving her. She was forgetting everything about him. His impulsiveness that scared her because she'd never know what was constant with him, such as his feelings for her, was forgotten. His recklessness that scared her because her life would never be stable if she was with him was forgotten. His unpredictability that scared her because she needed to know what would happen next, she needed to know future plans and the general outlook of things or else face another situation like his, was forgotten. His arrogance that scared her because pride is what introduced her to darkness in the first place was forgotten. But they all came flooding back now. Troy was a flirt and he couldn't be trusted with anything. She hoped maybe she was wrong and he could dedicate himself to one girl, to her, but the Brianna incident convinced her otherwise. That's why she was so mad, she was mad at herself for actually believing he was different if only for a moment. His kind words, his ability to take away her pain, they were just glitches, not true and not real. She was so mad at herself for starting to fall for him. She was mad at herself for continuing to fall for him now.
Troy didn't mean to check Sharpay out, but at the same time he did it intentionally. He was sick of caring so much, he was sick of being such a pansy, and he was sick of falling in love with Gabriella freakin' Montez. He had been thinking about this all day, which is why he was acting so weird, which is why he avoided her gorgeous face when he came in. This ridiculous world of love and care was becoming more of a hassle than a fantasy for him. How his heart is shattered now, from hearing her speak those words earlier? He knew something like this would happen. And he, Troy Bolton, should not be caring so much about a girl. And a goody, polite, rich girl at that! Who clearly doesn't even love him back! He was becoming a pansy, and for what? One-way love? Him announcing how much he needs her and her saying she doesn't want him, no matter how much he refuses that last part? No, even as much as he wanted to continue this challenge called Gabriella Montez, this was one time he would listen to his better sense of judgment. Because if she can't admit that she needs him too, and maybe she really doesn't, then he wasn't going to kill himself over loving her. And that's what would happen. He'd love her, she'd forget him, and his…everything would die, shatter like his heart is now. Just like he always knew, get close get hurt. Apparently, the same went for her. She let someone in she hurt herself. Basically, it was over. Troy Bolton was stopping this journey to 'pansy, boy drooling over girl, boy chasing girl, boy never getting girl land' right now. He wouldn't. So he'd move on. To Sharpay Summers. With her, his pride could remain in tact. With a willing girl like Sharpay, his heart could be put together, incorrectly maybe, but better than what Gabriella would do to him if she never loved him. Break him.
Dr. Sloane cleared her throat to get Sharpay's attention that was focused on Troy. "Ms. McKessie didn't write anything worth sharing in her notebook, Ms. Summers."
Troy's ears perked at that. "What?" Troy exclaimed, "Isn't she gonna get punished for that?" Taylor, Chad, and Ryan whipped their heads towards Troy in surprise. Why on earth would he say that?
"Now that you mention it, Mr. Bolton," Dr. Sloane concluded, "I do feel she deserves a punishment for disobeying the rules."
The glare Taylor sent Troy actually made him flinch. "I'm sorry Dr. Sloane," Taylor gushed, "I'm just not ready to put what happened to me down on paper."
"That didn't have to be the option. You merely had to reflect on your life, whatever you were thinking at that time that relates to your life would have sufficed." Taylor looked away, beaten. "As for your punishment Ms. McKessie. The group does not deserve a demerit for your intentional misbehavior but you do, as Mr. Bolton pointed out, need an individual punishment." Dr. Sloane paused for a few seconds thinking and then directed towards Troy, "Mr. Bolton?"
Troy continued to meet Taylor's hard glare without expression, "What."
"Should Taylor work out in the fields in place of breakfast for punishment or should she work in the barns?"
"What?" asked Troy disbelievingly.
"What do you feel would be a more appropriate punishment for Ms. McKessie?"
Troy glanced at Taylor, searching for which punishment she would prefer to do. He wasn't cruel and maybe he didn't feel as bad as he should have for causing her this punishment, but he wasn't going to piss her off even more by choosing the one she'd absolutely hate doing. No, he'd pick one that could save his ass as much as possible from the wrath of Taylor McKessie.
"The field," decided Troy, figuring that he could always say since he endured it, surely she could. Rivalry, that's what could get Taylor going.
"Very well. Ms. McKessie, after this period is over you will be brought to the field by your guide to work through breakfast as well as when your peers from Level 1 join you as well." Shit, thought Troy, I forgot that if I chose fieldwork she'd be working out there for 2 straight hours. Damn, I just screwed myself two times over. "Good luck," Dr. Sloane continued, "And remember to thank Mr. Bolton later for balancing out your sin with a deed."
Sloane has the English language in a giant heap of tangles in her mind. Troy concluded. Unless a thank you means a kick in the ass, then I sure as hell am getting one.
Troy's PoV:
Our guides led Gabriella, Chad, Ryan, Sharpay, and myself to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Eggs and ham. Classic. I was making my way to mine and Gabriella's station, when Chad stopped me with a, "Hey."
I wasn't in the mood for this. "What, man?" I asked impatiently.
"Why'd you out Taylor like that?" I knew that was coming and I sighed, frustrated, while running a hand through my hair. The only trait of my dad's that I couldn't seem to stop doing.
"I didn't out her."
His eyes said it all. He was really pissed at me. "Dude."
Maybe pissing off Taylor was enough for the day, I shouldn't go for Danforth too, so I decided to rephrase. "I didn't mean to out her."
"Really?" This has got to be the most untrusting, skeptical group in Willow Hell.
"Yes." I stressed, "I didn't mean for her to get a punishment! I was honestly just curious why she wasn't getting one!"
Chad shook his head, the bitterness still laced in his voice, "So you had to ask huh?"
"I didn't exactly think before I said it."
"Typical."
Okay his attitude was pissing me off. "Why the hell do you care so much dude?"
Narrowing his eyes at me, he crossed his arms while faking puzzlement, "What?"
"You like her, right?"
He laughed. A laugh that was too rough for a guy that was telling the truth, "Hell no, man. I don't even know her." He quickly glanced to the left and then back at me, "She's cute though."
This time I shook my head, "Maybe it's better if you fall in love with someone before you know them." If Gabriella would just do that.
"Fall in love?" Oh shit, I said that out loud, didn't I?
"Or…like."
Chad looked at me, confused but intrigued. "I don't know. I mean sure, I've gotten crushes on girls I don't know, but…fall in love?" He held back a laugh, clearly seeing more to this than what I wish he would.
"I said or like!"
"Why do you think that man?" He held back more laughs.
"I don't all right?" Fuck off. He smirked at me. His eyes screamed the laughter that his mouth was barely holding back. "Danforth quit looking at me like that, before I knock that look off your face with my fist!"
"Damn, Bolton. All right." He let a small laugh go, "Yeesh, you can't blame me for being curious. You were curious after all." And we're back to Noisy girl Taylor.
"Yeah well Mouth deserved it."
"You could at least feel sorry."
"I didn't do anything!"
He shook his head, obviously annoyed at me, "Now I know why I work at a station with Summers."
I shrugged, "Cause she's hot."
"Cause you're a bastard dude."
He's lucky he paired that bastard with dude or else I'd be throwing punches. "Are you really saying that to me?"
"Just…" Chad noticed what he was getting himself into and backed out, "Apologize to Taylor when she gets back, alright?"
"I have nothing to apologize for!"
He shook his head again and settled his eyes on Montez a few yards away working at our station. I looked over there too, using any excuse I could get to stare at her. "I don't understand how Montez stands next to you everyday."
"What?" Damn, he was A.D.D.
"I mean I guess, since…" he paused to think, "Have the two of you ever talked?"
I narrowed my eyes at him, not understanding why he would care or why he should know, "Why?"
"Cause if you haven't that makes perfect sense. The way she just works next to you in silence explains it all. She deals with you by not talking to you." A slight smile was on his face, I mean, this was Chad after all. But I could still see the trace of anger he held because of my attitude towards McKessie.
"Dude, fuck off."
"I'm serious man." I had turned to look at Gabriella again, but was drawn back to Danforth as I sensed he actually was serious, "You're just like every guy I knew back home."
I was so fucking tired of hearing that! "And what?! You're not like them? You're not like me!?"
"No." I was not expecting that.
Why did every single person here think I was 10x worse than they were?! They're here too! Hell, Chad stole things! He's just like me! Jesus Christ, I'm not this demon everyone makes me out to be!...Am I? "I fucking saved her ass a week ago!" I bitched, referring to Gabriella, probably saying it more to convince myself, not Chad, that I was something better.
"Probably to get a piece of her ass though, right?"
I narrowed my eyes further and he took that as a forfeit. "Yeah…well, you should head to your station."
These people really knew how to piss me off! "Since when did you become Montez? Telling me that you know the kind of guy I am, acting like you know me, and telling me what I should and shouldn't do? Man, I thought you'd be my savior in this shit hole." I recalled that first day in the waiting room, "But looks like they've tightened up your ass too. And in just 10 days!"
"They didn't do anything to me." He was too calm. He was really starting to remind me of Montez. Good thing I didn't have a thing for Afros.
"Yeah, just like I'm actually gonna get to twenty points." I replied sarcastically.
"Listen man, after that session, I was reminded of my mom. Whenever that happens I become a…"
"Manners Montez."
"Dude." The same reprimanding tone of voice.
"I get it, you feel bad about what you do cause it shames your mom or whatever."
He widened his eyes at me, surprised, "That's exactly how I feel. How'd you--"
"Cause when I do bad things I feel like it shames my mom and my dad too." I smirked, "That's why I do 'em."
"Wow."
"Well," I turned and starting walking towards my station with Montez, "It's not the only reason."
Okay, so recap. I was done chasing after Montez. I was done professing my idiotic feelings for her and how amazing it is to be around her. Of course, I'm not a complete dumb ass. I'll still talk to her and be around her just to feel alive, just to have those amazing emotions course through me. But I won't be a pansy anymore. I'll be back to my old self. Strange, I'll actually have to think before I talk now. In the bathroom, in the field, in the hall…everything I said, everything caring and pissy I said just came out like every other time I talked. I didn't think before I said anything, they just came out. But now when I'm around Montez I'll have to make sure I don't say those things. And instead say things that I'd say to anyone else. Uncaring, shitty things that make me an ass.
"Hey, Sunshine." I started as I approached her, my voice reeking with mockery, "Weren't you adorable today with your little song and whatnot."
Her eyes darkened, and instead of the pleasure I usually got from my victims' reactions I was upset that I made her upset. "Thanks, Jack. I liked that poem of yours too."
I momentarily ignored the part about the poem. "Jack?"
She was cutting the ham and didn't look at me as she explained. "Short for jack ass."
I would've smirked but decided to address her comment about my poem instead. "It wasn't a poem."
"No?"
"No. I don't write poems."
She scooped the chopped ham into her hands and plopped them down in front of me. I guess she was trying to tell me to do something. Yeah right. Seems like she really doesn't know me after all.
"Sounded like one," she persisted.
"Well, it wasn't alright?"
"What was it then?" I was staring at her but she wouldn't even glance at me. Just like every other day. But today was supposed to be different.
"Just…" I racked me brain for anything but came up with, "Nothing."
"You don't hold your case very well."
"Pass the eggs, Noisy Girl."
She did. "You never told me you were into poetry." If she was fixed on making this point then I was fixed on ignoring it.
"You good at cracking these things?" I asked, while observing the egg in my hand, moving it around.
"It was beautiful," she meant it, "Who is it talking about?"
"Cause if I crack `em," I lightly tossed it into the air and caught it, "We'll be serving scrambled egg shells for breakfast."
"To think…" she pondered, "A bad boy who likes poetry actually exists."
"Alright…" I had two eggs in each hand now, "I'm just gonna go ahead and crack `em."
She glanced at my position, 2 eggs in each hand, each hovering over the edge of the pan. She tried not to laugh, "Troy…"
"Gabriella…"
She finally looked at me, lifting her head seeing as she was some inches shorter than me, "Poetry?"
"It's not fucking poetry."
She shook her head a lot like Chad before. "You lost this fight Troy."
"It's just…" Again I racked my brain for anything and came up short, "They're just my thoughts. I just write it down. No big shit."
"Well, I liked it. A lot." Hell, when she complimented me it was hard to be an ass.
"What about that song, Two-shoes? That was pretty…" I planned to say lame ass but I couldn't and instead said the truth, "Deep."
"Just my feelings. No big deal."
I laughed at that, "Your feelings seem like a big deal." She looked away and took an egg from my left hand, cracking it perfectly into the sizzling pan. I kept talking, "They're what's keeping you from me and attracting you to me at the same time, right?" Damn it Bolton! Stick to the fucking plan!
She took the second egg from my left hand and performed the same perfect motions to it as the first one. I could think of a lot more pleasurable things those perfect hands could be doing. Eggs were not involved. "My head is keeping me from you," She said confidently while grabbing another egg from my right hand, "My common sense and good judgment is what's keeping me from you, Bolton." She cracked the egg.
"Chad thinks we've never had a real conversation."
She grabbed the last egg, looking at me confused as she did, "So?"
"It's just ironic, don't you think? Because really, we've had conversations that I've never had before…in my life."
She sighed, "Yeah," she agreed, "But being friends…"
"Bad idea. I know. Not saying we should be. I lost that fight, too."
She watched me for a few seconds before handing me the spatula. "You think you can scramble them ok?"
I shrugged, taking the spatula from her, "Sure. Doesn't take much thought right? You just do it?"
"Yeah, as long as they're fine in the end."
So if you didn't read my a/n at the top, the song Gabriella sings from her notebook is called Everyone Needs by Jennifer Chung on youtube. Check her out, her original pieces are absolutely beautiful. JenniferJChung is her account.
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