Decline

They all thought the prison would be their salvation. And at first, it was. They finally had a home, felt safe and had enough food to last them a while. The two remaining prisoners were a problem, but it had be decided that they could live in another cell block as long as they stayed there. That way, they wouldn't have to interact with them and the danger they posed was minimal.

Daryl felt like he could breathe again, take a tiny break from his constant vigilance and just be. He'd still pull his weight, of course, but somehow, after getting to the prison, a huge weight had been pulled off his shoulders. It left him lighter but also sad because he once more had the time to think again, think about her and where she was, if she was anywhere even.

Through all these months, he had kept her things with him, things that had been packed in the car, ready to get inside Hershel's house the next morning. They never moved in and when they had to leave one of the cars behind, Daryl had seen her backpack with the things the others had wanted to leave behind. He couldn't allow that and since no one else wanted to keep the backpack, he had secured it to his bike and never left it behind. He thought that if they ever found her again, she would appreciate having her things once more. In his head, it all made perfect sense – one day she and Andrea would just stumble upon them if he didn't find them at the farm. They would reunite with the group, she'd hug him and he would give her the backpack, maybe even get a kiss for that. That thought was what kept him going, even if it was so cheesy he'd never admit to thinking that – not even under torture. Of course, that hadn't happened yet, but still, he hoped.


The day had been beautiful, it was a good day even. The prisoners reappearance caused some minor trouble, but after a brief discussion, T-Dog was overruled and the prisoners would be sent away. Just as Rick, Glenn and Daryl himself came back from gathering wood, things turned to shit in about 3 seconds. There were Walkers everywhere up at the prison, where everyone else was, the kids, Lori, Hershel, who could barely even walk on his own.

The men ran as fast as they could, but when they made it up, only Hershel, Beth and Sophia were still there. The others were off to god knew where and they had to stop the fucking noise that attracted even more Walkers to the vicinity of their new home.

As soon as Andrew was dead, shot by Oscar which shocked Daryl deeply, they went looking for the others. How come Oscar shot his friend and not Rick? Maybe it was because Daryl himself had been poised to kill him if he made one wrong move but still, it would have been a stretch for him, had Oscar decided to kill them both. In the end, it didn't matter but still, it irked Daryl, also because they had basically been at Oscar's mercy. His adrenalin rush was nearly over though, and he realized that he was exhausted. Fuck, he had known that he was already pretty beat before this had happened but he needed his strength now.

They search went on, through the tombs of the prison and then, they found T-Dog.. or what was left of him anyway. Daryl felt as if he had been sucker-punched into the stomach. That was his friend lying there, half eaten by Walkers. What he felt then was nothing compared to what he felt when he saw Carol's shawl and gun lying next to the carcass. He sank to his knees, picking up the things she had left behind and felt a second of blinding rage toward the world. Why did everyone he cared about have to die? Why?

Rick gripped his shoulder then and dragged him up, they had others to find, like his stupid bitch of a wife. Oh, Rick and Lori had somewhat rekindled after Daryl's frank words but that didn't change Daryl's opinion of the woman. Rick cared, of course, that T-Dog and Carol were dead, but his wife and child were his priority at that moment.

After clearing the rest of the area they knew, they went back to the inner yard, where Sophia, Beth and Hershel were waiting. One look at her and Daryl instantly felt worse. Hell, how was this fair? That girl was only 13 and now her mother was dead. He's been much younger when his ma had died but his hadn't even been half the mother Carol had been.

While Rick was shouting towards Hershel for information regarding his wife and son, Daryl went up to Sophia, handing her the shawl, shaking his head to signal that she hadn't made it without actually saying it. He didn't want to say it, he fucking couldn't say it. He didn't have to though, she understood anyway. The girl practically fell into his arms, the strength had somehow left her body with the realization that she was now alone. Thirteen and alone. She sobbed for a short while but was interrupted by Rick asking Daryl to come looking for his wife even when Daryl was obviously consoling the girl – or trying to at least, what did he know about such things? Not much, everything he did know came from when Carol had tried to console him when they lost Jasmin and Andrea.

Just when Daryl was ready to punch Rick in the face for not grasping the situation at hand, they heard a baby wailing. Seconds later, they saw Maggie carrying the crying baby and Carl, no Lori though. Maggie was crying and Carl looked shell shocked. Daryl understood at once. Fuckfuckfuck, today was not a good day at all, not only one, but two mothers had died today. Sure, Lori was a bitch most of the time, but she took care of Carl. How were they supposed to take care of a baby now? What did babies even eat? Daryl had no idea, he had never even held a baby before, the only ones he'd seen were fathered by one or another of his acquaintances and he was never trusted enough to get to hold one of the kids.

Rick obviously went into shock after that. Daryl understood, he did, but really, now was not the time. He had a kid to take care of, for fuck's sake. Carl needed his father, Sophia needed Rick to be the leader he was supposed to be, the others needed Rick too, though not as much.
It was no use, after Daryl had handed Sophia over to Beth, he went to Rick, waving in front of his face, trying to rouse him. It made no difference, he continued to stare off into space, then suddenly grabbed an ax and went into the building Maggie and Carl had just exited.

Daryl knew that someone had to step up now that their leader was off, working out his shock. He knew that it had to be him to do so, but hell, he didn't want that responsibility. He hoped Rick would work this out fast. In the meantime, he was going to make sure that the baby didn't die, that someone took care of Carl and Sophia. No one else would die, he wouldn't allow it. He couldn't take it either, there was just so much anyone could take and he had nearly reached his limit, he knew that.

The run for baby formula was straight-forward. Get in, get supplies and dinner, get out. Maggie was a good ally in such endeavors. They were quick, efficient and got everything they needed.
When they got back, Daryl held the baby for the first time. It was a crazy thing, to think that such a small thing would be an adult one day.
He shushed the baby gently, starting to feed her. "She got a name yet?"
"Not yet," Carl replied, "I was thinking maybe Carol, Andrea too. Patricia, Jacqui, Jasmin or Lori.." He shook his head, clearly overwhelmed by the memory of all the people they had lost so far.
"You like that, huh, little Ass-Kicker? Huh, sweetheart?" Daryl cooed at the baby, then, to the others, "Ain't that right?" He continued feeding the baby until she was done with the bottle. Somehow it came naturally to him, feeding and holding the baby even though he had never done this before.


Daryl sat with his back against the wall, hammering Carol's knife against the wall. Why, why did she have to die? Why wasn't he up there when everything went to shit? He missed her and he just didn't know how Sophia was going to cope. She might have toughened up a lot over the last 8 months, but she was still only a child – a child without any living parent. His emotions were all over the place and he was getting annoyed also due to the constant clanking noise the Walker behind the jammed door. Fuck, he had enough, the thing had to go.

He yanked the door open, knife poised – ready to kill but what he found left him paralyzed for a second. In the next, he was crouching down, making sure that it was really Carol he was looking at, not something that once was Carol. But yes, she was alive. After checking her for bites, he hoisted her up into his arms and carried her back to their cell block. He got her water and something to eat and went looking for the others, no one was in the cell block, much to his surprise. To say he was elated would be an understatement, hell he couldn't remember the last time he was this happy.
He found Sophia almost immediately as she had been on her way into the cell block.
"C'mere, hurry up, ya wanna see this." He said to her as soon as he saw her.
Sophia trudged after him, not really caring what he wanted to show her. She just felt hollow since her mama.. since she was alone. It all just didn't matter, so what if there was something happening that had Daryl looking like her could puke rainbows – which means he had a slight smile on his face.

She stopped abruptly when she realized that Daryl went inside the cell she had shared with her mama. Was he playing a dirty trick on her? She didn't want to go in there.
"C'mon now!" He grabbed her on the arm and shoved her lightly. That's when she saw it – or better, her. Her mama, alive, not well but alive and smiling at her. She jumped into her mother's arms,more than glad to have her back.

Daryl went out to get the others and was quite surprised to find that there was someone else with them, some woman lying on a blanket on the floor but in the end, he didn't care, he had more important things to do, to tell them.


Fucking hell, this day was just a total mindfuck. He hadn't slept yet, so it felt like a day, at least. First he finds Carol, then Maggie and Glenn had been taken by what turned out to be Merle, he had been caught and sent into the ring to fight Merle to the death. Of course, they had gotten out of there, but it wouldn't have been possible had Rick and the others not come back for him. The woman, Michonne, had ditched them right after they found them only to get back to them when he was gone, beat up pretty badly. She had fought the Governor, apparently, taken his eye. Daryl didn't even care. Why wasn't the motherfucker dead? That's what he would have done but well, maybe she was as stupid as she looked.

Merle, well fuck, he certainly hadn't expected to find him when he set out to get Maggie and Glenn back. His brother had messed Glenn up pretty badly, he wasn't sure what had happened to Maggie, but she also looked worse for wear even though there were no bruises showing. His brother's shirt was splattered with blood, differing in age as most of it was lighter than the rest. Daryl thought that the older blood must have belonged to Glenn, there was no way Glenn had bled that much. Now, Rick and Glenn didn't want Merle to come back to the prison with him. He couldn't really hold a grudge for that, he understood but he just wouldn't leave his brother behind again. He had lost him once, not knowing where he was and he had missed him, at least until they had gotten to the farm. Things had changed after that, but he wasn't going down that road again, at least not now.

Fact was, he wouldn't leave Merle and if they didn't want Merle, well, they wouldn't have him. "No him, no me" he had said several times. Yes, it hurt to leave his new 'family' behind but Merle was blood and in the end, that was what mattered. It didn't matter that he hadn't seen his brother in months or that he cared about the people back at the prison or that Merle had done something to a friend of that black woman. Who cared about anything these days anyway – he certainly was done with it, done with caring about things or people. The only thing he had to care about when he was with Merle was survival, just like it had always been and always would be.

He was sure he would never regret taking his brother's side.


Well shit. Things sure looked different after you had a couple hours of shut-eye, Daryl thought. The problem wasn't his brother, not really. It was him, he realized that. His brother was still the same bastard he had always been, apart from getting rid of his rocker clothing and the hand, Merle was exactly the same. Daryl wasn't though. Somehow, being together with those people, and her of course – he felt the small box against his chest, as always – he had started caring and now he couldn't stop. He risked his life for a couple of strangers and their baby and in the moment, he hadn't thought twice about it and now, after Merle's reaction, he realized how different he was.

As he was half lying, half kneeling on the ground, his scars exposed to his brother, who pledged ignorance to his suffering, he realized that he belonged with the people he had left behind. He wanted to laugh at his brother's face, telling him that when he left, the abuse got so much worse, not only because he had to take on his brother's share too but because the old man was just fucking angry that Merle had up and left them. So Daryl became the punching bag, slicing surface, cigarette stubbing place of his father, hiding his pain in shame until he was 35, when he met Jasmin, with scars that were different from his but still, she understood and her words and wisdom had healed him. Up until his brother had exposed them because somehow, everything he had felt before came back, rushing into his brain and heart. For a few seconds, he was paralyzed by the pain and then, he had known that with only his brother at his side, he'd die. Maybe not in the literal sense, but the man he was now would leave again and then, he knew that Jasmin wouldn't want him anymore. And he held onto her ghost with a passion.


Daryl and a rather unwilling Merle made their way back to the prison right after that conversation. They arrived just in time, or maybe too late in general, to save Rick from certain death by Walker bite. He seemed to be off in gaga land still, not really reacting or saying much.

It wasn't until the three of them reached the gate, which was pulled open by Carl, that he realized something was wrong beside the fact that the prison had just been under attack and Axel was lying on the ground, dead. Every gun in the prison was poised on Merle, even people who didn't know him looked about ready to make him suffer a painful death.
"Kinda thought we left that behind us, folks!" Merle nearly shouted out as a greeting.
Glenn took it upon himself to make a decision then as Rick was just standing next to Merle, processing nothing as it seemed.
"One wrong move and you're dead. If you're going to walk in here, it's straight into a cell that will be locked."
"What the hell? He just helped save Rick for god's sake. Cut him some slack. Ya still goin' on about the beatin'?" Daryl didn't understand. For fuck's sake, even Sophia, who had arrived back out in the yard just now with Maggie trailing behind her, had her gun trained at his brother, a murderous look on her face.
Carol mumbled, "He doesn't know.. he doesn't know."
"What, talk to me, woman!" What the hell was going on? Daryl was getting pissed off, no one was making any sense, least of all his brother, who opened his trap once more.
"Hell, she still alive? That's one tough cookie." Merle's dirty cackle sounded in the yard.
Carol looked Daryl straight in the eye then. "She's here and she's not well."

What was Carol talking about? Who was here? So what if someone was not well?
"Jasmin. Daryl, she's here." Daryl's head whipped around, looking straight at the source of he message, Sophia.

He stood there for a second, then he was off. No one would hold him off now that she was within his grasp again. No one except Maggie and Carol, that was. They moved in front of him as one, blocking his way.
"She doesn't want to see you." Maggie's words were like a knife to his gut. What? Why? He hadn't seen her in months, what was there that she would be angry at him for?
"Why the hell would that be?" He asked.
"Because you brought him." Daryl followed Maggie's pointing finger although he already knew who was meant. Merle.


Dun Dun Dun.
You excited for next chapter?
:P
I am too.
We'll have Jasmin's story next, the reunion in the chapter after that. Y'all excited? I sure am. ^_^

Leave a review and I'll send you a teaser :)