Chapter 9

Well If That's Not a Big Steaming Pile of Horse …

Emily burst through the entrance of the Dragonfly Inn, water visibly running rivers off of her onto the rubber mat that had been placed in front of the door. Her shoes were muddy and squishing. She shook as much water as she could off of the Burberry umbrella in her hands, looked at the packed umbrella stand and quickly decided to lean it against the wall next to the door. Next, she brushed off her tan trench coat and pulled the Burberry plaid scarf from her hair. After an attempt to wipe the mud off of her shoes, she followed the trail of newspapers across the floor to the reception desk where Michel was idly flipping though a fashion magazine.

"Are you aware that a lake has formed in front of the Inn?" she asked tersely.

Michel looked up and finally took notice of her arrival. "Ah… Emily… hello! How are you?"

"Caked in mud and dripping wet! How do you think I am? I just had to trudge through the Okefenokee Swamp to get to the front door. Where is Lorelai? Does she know about this?"

"Ah yes, I believe she said there was a slight problem with drainage as a result of the construction," Michel replied with a sneering smile.

"A slight problem? You call Lake Superior out there a slight problem?" Emily gestured broadly and droplets of water flew off the cuffs of her raincoat across Michel's face. Michel pulled two tissues out of the box next to the computer terminal and dabbed at his cheeks fussily. "What are you doing about this?" she demanded.

Lorelai came rushing down the stairs carrying two shredded burgundy silk pillows in her hands. She was in her stocking feet, wearing grey slacks and a dark pink sweater. As she neared the bottom step, her mother's voice carried out from the lobby. Glancing up, she muttered, "Why her? Why me? Why now? Why? Just why?" With a sigh, she shoved the pillows behind her back and cautiously approached the front desk with a smile plastered firmly on her face.

"I had Denny, the bellboy put down the papers. What more would you have me do?" he questioned.

"Well for starters – "

"Mom, so good to see you," Lorelai interrupted trying hard to make her voice sound cheery.

"My shoes are ruined. Just what is going on around here?" Emily demanded.

Lorelai looked down at her mother's wet, muddy, and clearly expensive tan leather shoes. "I'm sorry about the shoes, Mom. If you take them off, I could see if I can get them dried out for you," she offered as she worked her way behind the desk all the time keeping her back and the pillows away from her mother's line of sight.

"What do you expect me to do, walk around barefoot like you are? I'm guessing your shoes met with a similar fate and WHAT are you trying to hide behind your back, Lorelai? Honestly, it's like the time you were six years old and broke your father's favorite antique Limoges Christmas angel."

Lorelai took a deep breath and replied. "It's nothing Mom, it's just some pillows." She took the pillows out from behind her back and quickly shoved them onto the shelf below the desk.

"Those are two of the brand new pillows you just had made," Emily countered.

"It's no big deal, Mom," Lorelai answered calmly.

"They're torn to shreds," Emily protested.

"The Sternhaggens snuck a cat into their room and she refuses to do anything about it," Michel complained to Emily. "That's not all the feral beast ruined. You should see the drapes."

"A cat did that? I knew there was a reason why I never allowed you to have one," Emily replied with a definitive nod of her head. "Can't you bill them for the damage?"

"We'll see, Mom. We can't prove it was them," Lorelai turned and gave Michel a pointed look, "it wasn't their room that was damaged. It was the alcove at the top of the stairs. Why don't you take off those shoes and I'll see what I can do?" Emily stepped out of her shoes as Lorelai rounded the desk and picked them up. "I'm pretty much getting this down to a science," she explained. "First you wipe off the mud, then spot dry with a hairdryer and finish off with a quick buff. They'll be good as new in just a few minutes."

A couple walked down the stairs, the husband carrying two suitcases and a tote bag, the wife following with a makeup case and both their coats and umbrellas. He looked out the window at the front of the lobby. Lorelai stepped away from the front of the desk and drew her mother with her. "Don't worry Mr. and Mrs. Brown, I'll have a bellman take your bags and we have someone waiting out back in a four-wheel drive to take you to your car."

As Mr. Brown proceeded to check out, Mrs. Brown turned to Lorelai. "I wish we didn't have to check out so early." She paused to sneeze.

"Gesundheit," Lorelai offered.

"I can't understand why my allergies have gotten so bad," she sneezed again followed by another "Gesundheit." "Usually, it's only this bad when I'm around cats," she sneezed two more times, prompting yet another polite "Gesundheit" from Lorelai.

Michel handed Mr. Brown his bill and he examined it closely.

"Again, we are sorry about the mix up with room service last night. That has, of course, been taken off of your bill," Lorelai apologized.

Emily watched as Mrs. Brown continued to sneeze and Mr. Brown signed the bill.

Lorelai waved over one of the bellboys. "Denny, would you take the Browns' bags and show them to the back door?" Denny picked up the suitcases and the Brown followed him out of the room, Mrs. Brown sneezing all the way.

"They were supposed to stay all week and they only stayed one night," Michel huffed from behind the counter. "Another thing we can thank the Steinhaggens rabid feline for."

"Michel," Lorelai gave him a stern look and flashed her eyes in her mother's direction.

"What? She has a right to know that we are sinking like the Titanic. She's a part owner of this Inn now," he replied in defiance.

"Sinking like the Titanic? Lorelai, what else aren't you telling me?" Emily asked in alarm.

"Well, for starters, that snooty, fake French chef quit," Michel answered. "Although personally, I say good riddance to him, we do have three parties booked this weekend alone."

"François quit?" Emily asked turning to Lorelai. "He was wonderful. All the women of the DAR loved him."

Michel continued with glee. "Guests are checking out early because of the feline infestation."

"Infestation?" Emily asked in horror.

"One cat which is gone now," Lorelai countered glaring daggers at Michel.

"Also, the entire front garden has to be plowed under to drain Lake Titicaca in the front yard that was created by the fancy new horse barn. Why we need additional space for the worthless smelly farm animals, I do not know."

"That is not true," Lorelai protested "It's a grading problem and it will be taken care of as soon as it stops raining and the ground dries out."

"Lorelai, you have got to admit that you need help." Emily tried her best to sound calmly persuasive.

Lorelai pasted the tense smile back onto her face and modulated her voice. "Mom, remember that we agreed you'd be a silent partner."

"But, Lorelai…"

"Nah…ah…ah…ah…silent," Lorelai said, shaking her head.

"Lor – "

"Ah…" Lorelai held up her free hand.

Emily snapped her jaw shut from where it had been frozen mid-word and cocked her head to the side, silently regarding her daughter for a moment. Then they heard a strange muffled clomping sound. Both women simultaneously turned toward the front door where Cletis stood, mud surrounding all four of his hooves and water dripping everywhere as he shook himself. Slowly mother and daughter turned back to each other.

"It's time for my ten," Michel announced from behind them before retreating hastily down the hallway and away from the scene in the lobby as quickly as possible.

"May I speak now?" Emily asked in a dangerously low voice.

Lorelai nodded and hung her head.

Emily's voice was strangely calm even when she asked, "You still think you don't need any help?"

Loud splatting sounds filled the room followed by a loud whinny. Mother and daughter looked back at the horse who had indeed done what they thought on the floor of the entryway.

"Well, at least there's already paper down," Lorelai offered.

"Lorelai?" Emily's voice was still low and deceptively calm.

"Okay," Lorelai conceded mournfully. "I guess I could use some help, but only temporarily until we get another chef and we get through the parties that are booked for the next week or so."

Emily nodded. "Lorelai… may I have my shoes back?" Lorelai nodded and silently handed her the muddy shoes.


Arriving home a half hour later, Emily found Richard sitting in the living room reading the newspaper. She walked in, taking her shoes off as she entered, and quietly sat down next to Richard on the sofa, waiting for him to acknowledge her presence.

Putting the newspaper down, he looked at her strangely. "What happened to your shoes?" he asked, looking down at where she held them in her hand sopping wet and stained with some unidentifiable substance.

"Don't ask," she replied flatly. "These were my favorite pair too," she sighed.

"Well, you can always buy another pair, I suppose," he said casually, folding the paper.

"If you knew just how much these shoes cost, you wouldn't say that," she stated playfully. Richard grinned at the smile upon her face.

Sitting in silence for a few minutes, the day's events played in Emily's mind and she could no longer suppress a giggle. Richard looked at her like she had just lost her mind, which of course only made Emily start laughing even harder.

"Are you going to tell me what is so funny?" he asked, surprised by her behavior.

"It's just — I — You —" she tried to speak, unable to get the words out.

"Emily!" Richard exclaimed, starting to laugh himself, without even knowing what he was laughing about.

Trying to regain her composure, Emily finally replied, "The horse. The horse came into the Inn. We were just standing there and in he comes, like he owns the place." She continued to laugh, trying to control herself.

"A horse walked into the Inn," Richard stated in disbelief.

Emily looked at him, nodding her head up and down slowly with a slight grin on her face. "And the best part…he actually…well, let's just say it's a good thing Michel put newspaper down on the floor."

That was all it took. Both Emily and Richard started laughing uncontrollably. Maybe buying into the Inn wasn't such a bad thing after all.