I do not own Gravity Falls or any of the book titles mentioned in this chapter.

I think after the whole apocalypse incident, Gideon would be on neutral terms with the rest of the crew. I mean, after you go through heck and back, there's some sort of bond that develops. Though he and Stan still bicker, because that's just how they are. But for the most part, I think they're all trying to work on being friendly towards one another.

Another headcanon I have is Stan calling Pacifica Princess. It's initially meant to be mocking, but later on turns into an affectionate nickname when he realizes that she's really trying to change for the better.


CC: The GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)

From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)

Subject: Book recommendations?

Mabel and I are partners for a book report that we have to do for English. Neither of us can decide on what book we want to write about. Any suggestions?

Thanks!


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Wendy Corduroy: The Hunger Games is pretty rad.

Robbie Valentino: Anything by Stephen King. Especially It.

Wendy Corduroy: Dude. Are you seriously suggesting that creepy clown book to a couple of thirteen-year-olds?

Robbie Valentino: Yeah, because a monster clown is totally gonna traumatize them after the junk that went down this summer.

Soos Ramirez: Guy makes a good point.

Wendy Corduroy: Whatever. I like my book way better.

Soos Ramirez: Dudes, you should totally read The Notebook. So sad, but so good.

Grunkle Stan: You would, Soos. You would. Gold Chains For Old Men is always classic.

Pacifica Northwest: Do you know the difference between a magazine and a book?

Gideon Gleeful: I don't think he's ever read a book in his life.

Grunkle Stan: You're lucky I'm not around to smack you, you little twerp.

Grunkle Ford: How about Of Mice and Men? It's a novella, but it has quite a bit of material to discuss in a book report.

Grunkle Stan: NO. Mabel, sweetie, do not read that one!

Grunkle Ford: What's wrong with it, Stanley? I admit, the ending- oh. Um, perhaps another book would be more suited to your needs, kids. Little Women, maybe?

Grunkle Stan: Boring.

Gideon Gleeful: Tom Sawyer is my personal favourite, and it's a classic. Can't go wrong there.

Fiddleford McGucket: Hogwash, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is the cow's bells! My mama used to read that to me as a bedtime story.

Pacifica Northwest: Tom Sawyer…is that the one where the guy has to paint a fence?

Fiddleford McGucket: I don't suppose you remember that particular scene simply because ol' Tom tricked some youngins into doing his work for him?

Pacifica Northwest: He's an uneducated bum, but he tricks people so beautifully.

Candy Chiu: I recommend Twilight. It is so tragic…

Grenda Gosling: Edward is so macho!

Wendy Corduroy: I had a feeling you two would suggest that…and I still can't help but feel mildly disgusted. No offense. But vampires do not sparkle.

Pacifica Northwest: If you're going to do a vampire book, do the only one that counts. Dracula.

Grunkle Stan: Whattaya know? There's a brain under all that blonde hair!

Pacifica Northwest: There's also The Hunchback of Notre Dame. You'll attach strongly to Quasimodo, I'm sure, because he resembles your uncle so much.

Gideon Gleeful: That must sting, Stanley.

Wendy Corduroy: Oh snap, Blondie got game!

Soos Ramirez: That was both rude and hilarious.

Fiddleford McGucket: Fightin' words have been uttered.

Robbie Valentino: Old man just got dissed!

Candy Chiu: I apologize for laughing. But that was very funny.

Grenda Gosling: Burn!

Grunkle Stan: I hate all of you. Ford, stop laughing!

Grunkle Ford: I'm sorry, but that was very good.

Pacifica Northwest: I may be blonde, but I'm not stupid.

Grunkle Stan: If you weren't a girl I'd also smack you. But since you are I'll just have to smack Gideon twice.

Gideon Gleeful: Hey!

Mabel Pines: Come on, everyone, play nice!

Dipper Pines: Geez, that's the last time we leave you guys alone in a thread.

Grunkle Stan: Your friends are jerks.

Dipper Pines: Just a bit.

Mabel Pines: Thanks for the suggestions! We're going to hit up the library and make our choice.

Wendy Corduroy: Let us know who won.

Dipper Pines: It's not a competition…

Soos Ramirez: No. It totally is.


Standing amongst the towering book stacks of Piedmont Public Library, Dipper pulled a crumpled piece of notebook paper from his jean pocket. He scanned the list of titles, the ones their friends had suggested to them.

Now came the greatest challenge- finding one he and his sister both liked.

"Guess we better get started." He lowered the paper and glanced over at his sister, who was admiring the aquarium located near the circular front desk. Her face was pressed against the glass as she stared gleefully at the colourful fish. "Mabel!"

"I'm coming," she returned, reluctantly pulling away. She shuffled across the dark red carpet and stood beside her twin, squinting down at the list he had made. "Where should we start?"

"At the beginning and we'll work our way down," decided Dipper. "First up is Little Women."

They started their search, squinting at the worn cutters on the spines, moving down the alphabet. They eventually found what they were looking for and Dipper pulled it off the shelf, coughing slightly as a cloud of dust rose up.

"Okay. Little Women." He flipped it over and scanned the summary on the back. "It's about four sisters who live with their mother, chronicling their experience during the Civil War-"

"Neeehhh!" cut in Mabel, imitating the sound of a buzzer and sticking her thumb downwards. "Already don't like."

"It's not about the Civil War," said Dipper in exasperation. "For someone who likes to give things a lot of chances, you're really quick to judge a book."

Mabel shrugged her shoulders. "What can I say? I'm picky about my stories."

"We're not going to get anywhere if you're not willing to give this a shot," he sighed, sticking Little Women back into its proper place.

"Grunkle Stan said it was boring," spoke Mabel, crossing her arms.

"Grunkle Stan says a lot of things," said Dipper, unable to hide his amusement. "Come on. Mark Twain is up next."

They traversed through the musty stacks, soon coming across the next set of classics. Mabel pulled The Adventures of Tom Sawyer into her hands. "I've heard of this one. Tom's a bad boy, right?"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "If you want to reduce a classic literary character into a stereotype, then yes. I guess he is the bad boy."

Mabel flipped to the first chapter and started skimming through the pages. Her eager expression quickly turned to confusion. "Why are they speaking like this?"

"It was the language of the times, particularly in the South."

"Yeah, I don't think so." Mabel clapped the book shut. "I'm getting Gideon vibes from just the first few paragraphs, and I don't know how I feel about that."

"I'm not entirely surprised that this was his choice. I guess it's also a no for the sequel?"

"A huge no."

"This is gonna be a long day," muttered Dipper.

They continued their search, moving through the adult fiction section. Robbie's suggestion was immediately flung back onto the shelf once Mabel caught sight of the cover, which bore a creepy-looking clown with a murderous stare. Dipper agreed with her on that one and they hastily left behind Stephen King's collection of horror novels.

Dipper thought that their best bet might be The Notebook, but when Mabel realized that it was the book that the famous movie was based off of, she promptly burst into tears.

"Stop it," he hissed, flapping his hands frantically and looking around to see if they had attracted any attention. "This is ridiculous." When her sobs only continued, he cried, "Okay, we won't do The Notebook, stop crying!"

Mabel hiccupped and rubbed the tears from her cheeks. "It was so sad," she bemoaned. "I'll never get over it."

"You're so weird."

"Like you can talk," she countered, her spell of forlornness fading as quickly as it had arrived. "Mr. Disco Girl."

"Oh, shut up and let's keep looking," he grumbled.

Mabel wandered further down the stack and found the book Ford had initially recommended. "Hey! Look, I found Of Mice and Men." She tugged the thin book out and smiled. "It's super short! This might be the one. Why did Grunkle Stan tell me not to read it?"

"Bunnies and a puppy die, and the ending is far from happy," said Dipper bluntly, smirking slightly at the horror that crossed his sister's face.

"Why'd you tell me that?!" she whined, shoving the novella none-too-gently back onto the shelf.

"For the Disco Girl jab."

"You're too sensitive."

"Says the girl who's upset over non-existent animals being killed."

Mabel huffed. "You are a heartless fiend."

Dipper could not help but laugh. "Maybe a little. But seriously, we've spent almost an hour here and we're no closer to finding a book. Our last options are The Hunger Games, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Dracula."

"You didn't say-"

"We are not doing Twilight," vowed Dipper, shooting his twin a knowing look. "No way."

"Fine," she grumbled, sticking her hands on her hips. "What's The Hunger Games about?"

"Kids are sent into an elaborate arena to fight to the death in a post-apocalyptic environment."

Mabel's eyes widened slightly. "Geez. Our friends need to start reading some happier books."

"Doesn't matter. I already know two groups who are doing that book." Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "I'd rather do something different. So that leaves Dracula and The Hunchback of Notre Dame."

They went to look for the latter, and Mabel gaped at the massive novel that Dipper lugged down from the wooden shelf. "Is Pacifica trying to kill us?"

"I think she meant it as a joke." Dipper checked the page numbers and whistled softly. "Over six-hundred pages."

"Yeah. So not gonna happen," declared Mabel.

"Does that mean we're deciding on Dracula? Because if not, we might as well take up Grunkle Stan's suggestion and pick up an issue of Gold Chains For Old Men."

"Ugh, this is hard." Mabel dropped to the floor, resting her chin against the palm of her hand. "I'm not really a fan of the classics."

"You're not really a fan of anything except for romance novels," pointed out Dipper.

"That's not completely true. I thought A Christmas Carol was good."

The two paused for a moment and stared at each other. "A Christmas Carol," repeated Dipper. "Short."

"Pretty easy to understand."

"Enough material for us to write a two-page book report."

"And it's something we both like!" cheered Mabel. "A Christmas Carol it is!"

"That only took us forever." Relieved that they had finally found a book for their report, Dipper stood up, lifting The Hunchback of Notre Dame with him. He found himself struggling under the weight, his thin arms shaking. "Mabel! Help me put this monster back!"


CC: The GF Crew (10+ contacts in this group)

From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)

Subject: Finally found a book

It took longer than it should have, but Mabel and I finally found a book for our English report. And no, it wasn't one of the ones you guys suggested. So you all lost.

But thanks anyway!


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Wendy Corduroy: You guys are too picky.

Dipper Pines: No, Mabel's too picky.

Mabel Pines: I have very specific tastes! You're partly at fault. You wouldn't let us do Twilight!

Candy Chiu: Boo.

Grenda Gosling: Hater.

Dipper Pines: Yeah, yeah, it's my fault.

Grunkle Stan: So what did you runts end up picking?

Dipper Pines: One of Charles Dickens' novels.

Grunkle Ford: Which one?

Soos Ramirez: I only know the one about the cities. Is it that one?

Dipper Pines: No, it's not A Tale of Two Cities.

Fiddleford McGucket: Great Expectations?

Dipper Pines: Not that one either…

Mabel Pines: We chose A Christmas Carol!

Robbie Valentino: …seriously? You chose that over Stephen King's greatest work?

Gideon Gleeful: It's a classic, at least. Not a terrible choice I suppose.

Pacifica Northwest: It's the middle of October. Why are you doing a Christmas book in the middle of October?

Dipper Pines: If you people can celebrate Halloween in the middle of summer, we can do a book report on a Christmas classic in the middle of fall.

Pacifica Northwest: Touché. Though I still think you should have done The Hunchback of Notre Dame…

Grunkle Stan: Oh, shut up, Princess.