AN: These kids will get it together sometime. They'll probably be in their eighties.
Thanks for reading. Also, thank you to The Lemonade Stand girls for being so sweet to me. I truly appreciate it.
Chapter 9
"So . . . Hey." He stood in front of my locker.
I thought I might be in the twilight zone. My dad likes talking about how much he loved watching that show when he was kid. It was like in black and white with all these weird stuff happening to people. Dad is a television addict, because he will watch anything. I guess even creepy, old people shows.
"Umm . . . Hi?" I shifted my feet and just stared at Edward. He stared back and rubbed the back of his neck. It was some uncomfortable stand-off that there was no reason for having. I think we already said what needed to be said. At least I did. Edward just made zero sense and was ridiculous. Maybe being too good looking made you have a decrease in intelligence?
He was still unbelievably handsome. I tried to convince myself last night as I doodled in my diary that he wasn't. The sketch I made of him with warts and horns was supposed to make him the devil in my mind. It didn't work, because he was still completely kissable.
Mr. Ridiculous sighed and just continued to stare at me. I wondered if there was something on my nose. Maybe I needed a tissue?
I lifted my backpack onto my shoulder. It was so heavy that it was slipping down. There was no time for a staring contest, no matter how gorgeous his stupid eyes were. "Can I help you?"
"I . . . Well . . . What are you up to?"
"Switching my books and grabbing my lunch. Its time to eat," I pointed out.
Edward stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans and leaned back against my locker. "That's good. Eating is good."
"Yup. Eating is a plus." I pointed at him. "You're in my way."
"What?" He pulled my pencil out of his jacket pocket and was rubbing it between his two hands. It would be something I would do if I was nervous, but this was Edward. He doesn't do nervous.
My stomach was growling. I wondered if he could hear it. Who cares? Not this girl.
"You're standing in front of my locker. I need you to move."
"Sorry!" Edward shifted so I could get to the lock. He hovered next to me as I put in my combination. "So I—"
I should have just bought lunch today. "Are you returning my pencil?"
"No . . . I mean . . . Well . . . You need it back?" He held it up.
"I have plenty of pencils. I'm good." I pulled out my lunch bag and stuck it in my backpack.
Edward whispered, "Did you bring peanut butter and jelly?"
"If I did, are you planning on stealing my lunch? In that case, I brought ham and cheese."
"You're funny." He said this like it was a shocking revelation.
I slammed my locker closed. "Sure. I'm going to the cafeteria."
He followed me. "I'll just walk with you."
If this was last week, Edward's new found interest in being seen with me would make me the happiest girl on the planet. This week it made me suspicious. Whenever I get my hopes up, things go terribly wrong. It's a fact. I still had a few of those butterflies left in my belly, but it wasn't because I was worried about him. I still liked the jerk. They obviously didn't get the memo that Edward was a heartbreaker.
We didn't say anything on the walk. Occasionally, his shoulder would bump into mine and those butterflies deep inside me would go crazy. I needed to get some pesticide.
Once inside, I headed to the table. James was in his usual spot at the far end. He was talking to Tanya and the dynamic blonde duo, dramatically waving his arms into the air. That Victoria girl came over and kissed James on the cheek causing him to turn red. I expected Edward to join them, perhaps to make fun of James, instead he placed the glittery pencil in front of the seat next to me.
"Save my spot. You need anything up there?" He motioned to the line to get food.
"I'm good." I needed him to sit somewhere else so I could get over him. I banged my head onto the table top.
This morning, I woke up thinking that things were looking up. The birds were singing outside my window. The leaves on the trees were changing into various shades of orange, yellow, and red. It was like a dawn of something good.
That was completely not true. Nature was being a tricky liar. It ended up being bizarro world. Edward might be some sort of alien replacement.
"What was that?" Alice asked as she sat on one side of me.
Jacob tried to sit at the place Edward saved with a pencil. I smirked. "Go right ahead, Jake. That's where Edward wants to sit. I think you should instead."
"Oh no! I think it would be more fun to watch Edward try to make-up with you," Jacob stated. He went to the other side to sit across from me. "I don't think he's ever had to beg to get a girl before."
"He's not going to get one now even with the begging." I held my head up. My previously weak spine felt stronger like it was filled with steel.
Alice patted my back. "That's my girl!"
Playing with his milk container, Jake looked thoughtful. "What if he really means it? You know, like he realized he messed up and wants you to be his girlfriend? Could you forgive him then? We're all dumb kids."
Could I ever allow myself to trust this guy? Edward wasn't the type to screw up once, I think. It would be constantly worrying when it would happen again. Of course, I wasn't perfect. My track record with good decisions wasn't great at all.
"I don't know. Really have no clue. Right now, I know that I'm still mad. Like a lot." I pulled out my carrot sticks and started drumming them on my soda can. "This might be a nonissue. Edward might be playing a new game of drive Bella crazy or this could be some way he can say he's sorry. He doesn't like me in a, you know, girlfriend way."
"You the next drummer for Smashing Pumpkins?" Edward asked, as down went his tray. It was filled with all sorts of food that the lunch lady piled on. He took the pencil and stuck it behind his ear.
God, I hoped he didn't hear me. How embarrassing!
I started ripping the crust off my sandwich. "Nope. I don't want the rest of the band to get intimidated by my fantastic drumming."
I heard Alice whisper to Jacob, "Who is this girl and what happened to our sweet Isabella?"
"I don't know, but I approve. She's truly kick ass today," he answered. I glanced at him and he winked.
I wasn't kick ass. Instead, I was terrified of all the anger I was feeling. How scary it was that I was still attracted to someone who hurt me. This was a mask of bravery. I didn't know who I was anymore.
"Here." Edward placed a Twinkie in front of me.
"What is this?"
Edward gave me a little smile. "I bought you dessert."
It was a spongy peace offering and it was delicious.
XXXXXX
Jessica was crying in the empty band room.
Her flute was clutched in her hands. The silver metal was becoming wet by the big tears that fell from her eyes.
"Jess? My dad's coming to pick us up in a couple of minutes," I reminded her quietly. Grabbing some tissues from the band director's desk, I sat next to her and began wiping her eyes. She remained still except for the dripping wetness coming out of her. "Is Tyler bothering you again?"
Tyler was unmerciful in his nasty comments to Jessica. He wasn't one that was used to a girl breaking up with him. I would say this was his awful way of dealing with a broken heart, except that Tyler didn't have one. It was more likely that it was just another reason for Tyler to be a monster. I hated being violent, but I kind of wanted Edward to beat him up again.
My words just made her cry harder.
"He isn't worth it, Jessica."
The flute fell onto the floor. The sound of the instrument hitting the floor made an awful sound. She wrapped her arms around me. My shirt became damp as it became her tissue.
"I'm late," she quietly stated. Her body began to tremble.
"No, it will be fine! We have plenty of time to finish our project. I can help you work on your half tonight." We had a huge biology project due. It was missing some pretty big parts, but we still had could get it done by Friday. I just needed to cut open a plastic frog and help Jessica make the organs out of play-dough. It would be easy.
Dissection was the nastiest thing.
"Bella, my period is late."
Period. Late. It was all coming together. Jessica was having a baby.
"Oh God." I held her tighter.
"What will I do?" She wailed.
My mind was a flurry of no good answers. "Did you take a test?"
"I'm too scared," she admitted.
"Then I'll help you."
I had no clue how to help her, but I had to say something. I mean, come on, pregnancy? None of us were ready to deal with babies. We were only children playing at being adults. How do you put a diaper on one of those squirming things? What if she wanted me to change her kid's nasty diaper?
"What is Tyler going to say? He's going to be so mad!" Jess wiped her eyes on my sleeve.
There was no reason to lie to her. "Something awful. I wouldn't be surprised if he has three sixes behind his ear. He's like the devil."
"Bella!" She protested, but I saw a little grin forming.
It just spurred me to say more horrible, stupid things to try and get her to laugh. "Remember when we talked about Hitler in History? Tyler is like his great, great, great, great grandson."
She snorted. "This really isn't funny and those are some lame jokes."
"I know. Tyler has no reason to be mad. He made this happen to. You weren't the only one having sex. Listen, we can't guess anything until we find out if you're actually having a baby." I pulled her up and picked up her flute. "We'll have my dad stop at the drug store on the way home to buy a pregnancy test."
"He can't find out about this, Bella!"
"He won't. We'll tell him that we need to grab some more poster boards and glue sticks for our project. We'll just add a pregnancy test to the pile and sneak it in the house," I suggested. "Dad is clueless most days. He'll never figure anything out. It will be easy!"
Hopefully. It would be just our luck, Dad would actually start paying attention when I didn't want him to.
Jessica slowly took apart her instrument and gently put it back into the case.
"What will I do if its positive?" Her eyes were filled with fear.
"We will figure it out then," I stated, trying to sound confident. "I'm sure you'll be okay."
XXXXXX
It might have only been three minutes, but it felt like ten hours.
What if it was me that had to pee on the little stick? I could have easily let my virginity be taken away in that dingy boiler room. My brain was clouded with all that made Edward perfect to me. Then what I would I be stuck with? Three horrible options. Sixteen was no age to be raising a baby when my own parents still thought of me as one. Being pregnant for nine months and then having to give the baby to somebody else would feel rotten. At least I think it would. And getting rid of it? The guilt would be awful.
Edward wasn't the marrying type at this age. He might never be. He'd have to get a job at McDonald's and resent me forever. That would suck. I should stay a virgin forever.
I didn't envy Jess's position one bit.
I sat on the edge of the bathroom tub, while Jessica stared at the test on the edge of the sink. She leaned in close. "It looks like only one line, right? When the test is negative?"
Standing, I tried to help her determine what it was doing. "It looks like one, but I have no clue."
There was a knock on the door. We both jumped at the sound and the stick fell to the ground.
"Girls, its dinner time. I need you both to come downstairs," my mom called through the door.
"Sure." It came out as a squeak.
"Bella, I need you to open the bathroom door." It was her suspicious voice. It always meant that she knew I was up to something.
"Oh . . . Okay." I motioned to Jessica and she started tossing the pregnancy test and box into the trash can. Very slowly I unlocked the door. "Hey Mom, dinner smells great down there! Did dad make chili again?"
Instead of letting us out, Mom came in and shut the door behind her. With arms crossed, she asked, "What are you two up to?"
"I . . . Well—" Had no clue what to say.
"Your dad was saying that there was a lot of whispering going on in the car." Mom picked up a pamphlet on the floor. We had forgotten to throw away the directions when we tried to hurry up and get rid of the evidence. Her face was so sad. "Bella."
"I'm a virgin!" I cried out. Both of my hands went up into the air like I was being robbed.
"Its mine!" Jessica exclaimed at the same time. She started crying again.
Mom took her into her arms. "Oh, honey!"
"I . . . I . . . Don't know what it says." Jessica face was blotchy with more tears.
"Bella, I need you to get the test." My mother must be crazy.
"There's pee on it."
She did the annoyed Mom sigh. "Use a wad of tissues."
I reluctantly performed her request with half a box of tissues. Mom had to try to get through the hundred tissues that I used so she could read it. A smile came on her face. "You aren't pregnant, sweetie."
Jessica beamed until my mom added, "You still need to see Dr. Polar."
"My mom is going to kill me!" My friend's moods were all over the place and now fear was written all over her face.
Mom patted her knee. "She'll only yell a bit. You'll live to make it to another school dance."
"Unless she grounds Jess forever," I helpfully pointed out.
Jessica groaned in response.
"I'll come with you to talk to her, sweetie. Your mom and I have been best friends since we were the same age as you two. It will be just fine." Jessica cuddled into my mom's side and it made me think.
With all my mom's faults, she could be the best friend I could ever have. She even helped my friends. I wanted so much to be angry at her for what she did to my dad. He was forgiving her, I think. I really want to do the same.
Jessica headed out before us and I hugged my mom. "I love you, Mommy."
"What is this for?"
"Thank you for being their for Jess," I explained.
She smiled, "Of course. Though I'm so glad it isn't you. I promise you that I would be not a happy mom. And, Bella?"
"Yes?"
"I love you, too."
XXXXXX
There was a mix-tape and a Twinkie sitting at my seat in the cafeteria. They made me feel like I was losing my bravery when dealing with Edward. His pursuit of me was disconcerting, but still pretty cool.
I was twisting the cassette box in my hands. Alice pulled it away from me. "Isabella, darling, you are being wooed."
"I wonder if someone told him about the tape Mike made me." I looked over at my friend as he was chatting with some of the guys from the tennis team. In terms of the school's athletes, those were the goody-goodies.
"I doubt it. A badly made mix-tape is the nineties equivalent of a boy giving a girl flowers," Alice pointed out as she read the songs that Edward chose. "Damn, he's obsessed with Nirvana."
I held up the Twinkie. "And this?"
"That's just because Cullen's weird, lady."
"He spelled my name wrong." The tape was titled, The Bela Music Mix.
Alice shrugged and passed the tape to Jacob. "I'm still not certain that kid can spell his own name. I wouldn't sweat it."
"It's cute," Maria said quietly. She poked at her plate of spaghetti.
Jacob smiled at her like he would a pet. She was his Maria puppy. It wasn't fair to her at all. "I agree with Maria, but it is Edward we're talking about here. He has a lot of making up to do, Bella."
"Yup." I slowly pulled open the Twinkie's plastic wrapper. "Did anyone hear about Tyler, Eric, and Brady's punishment?"
I had no problem with changing the subject away from Edward. If they wanted answers about my feelings on these new developments, I sure didn't have any.
"Three day suspension and they have to write apology letters," Jacob answered. He started ripping up his napkin.
"That's ridiculous! What's wrong with this place!" I slammed my water bottle on the table.
There was a tap on my shoulder. I turned to find Tanya with her arms crossed. "I need to talk to you."
"Is this a rumble? Should I bring back-up?" I asked. I tried to give her a tough looking stare. She was unimpressed. "West Side Story style? I can bring my dancing fight shoes."
"When did the mouse become a smart ass?" Her beautifully plucked eyebrow rose.
I shrugged. "Maybe when my life started sucking."
Tanya pulled me up by my arm. "Come with me, evil Minnie Mouse."
My friends just watched as she led me out into the hallway. I guess tater tots are more important than saving me from Edward's beautiful fake girlfriend.
"He likes you." She sat on a table that the Glee Club had used to try and get new members. I think they might have instead lost two of ones they already had.
"If you're talking about Edward, then he has an odd way of showing it."
Tanya started kicking her feet out. "Yeah, that would be my fault. I was the one who came up with the idea to piss off our dads."
"You seem too smart to do something like that. Edward not so much. He doesn't talk much, so I'm not quite sure about his intellect." I sat next to her on the table. One of these girls was not like the other.
"He sure is pretty though," Tanya stated, as she bumped gently into my shoulder.
I sighed. "You want him to be your boyfriend."
"Hell no." Her laugh was as beautiful as she was. I would call it whimsical. "He's like a goofy, little brother. I more interested in Kate."
"Oh." That I would have never guessed.
"Oh seems to about cover it." Tanya started braiding her hair. I saw her gaze out the window sadly. "I'm playing it straight and making my dad mad enough to get off my case about not going into pre-med next year. I can't have him find out about Katie. He'll disown me and there's a great journalism program at Harvard that I need dear, old Dr. Eli to pay for. He's a bit traditional."
Everybody was hiding who they really are around here. It was depressing.
I saw Edward walking toward us. I motioned to him with my head. "What's his deal?"
"He's just being a good friend, though he is getting some benefits. Dr. Carl and my dad both want to be top Doc at the hospital. Carl gets angry that Edward is slumming it with the enemy and doesn't push him to go to college. Rock star is heading to Seattle after graduation," she explained.
"Wow." He was leaving after this year anyway. People come into your life and they disappear as the seasons change. "My parents are crazy, but I know I can talk to them. Have you tried that?"
"No." She was looking at Edward and gave a little sigh.
I watched him as he walked. He kind of saunters. "You should try. Parents can surprise you sometimes. This way of doing things hurts other people."
"Katie said the same thing."
"She sounds like a smart girl. You should listen to her, Tanya." I folded my arms across my chest when he approached us. I was using them to shield my heart.
Tanya looked at the cafeteria wistfully. She was probably thinking about Kate. "God, the Cullens would love you. You're a good girl. Esme will drunkenly bake you cookies."
Edward pushed himself up against my knees. He tapped Tanya's head. "What's up?"
"I'm explaining how we're both fucked up," Tanya said and stood up. "Bella here is countering with how stupid we are."
"You think we're dumb?" He had a smile on his face.
"Yes." I hope he didn't want a lie, because I wasn't going to make him feel good after hurting me.
"I'm breaking up our fake relationship, Edward," Tanya announced. "I need to tell my real girlfriend the news."
He only looked at me. "Cool."
"Work it out, kids," she declared and headed back in the lunchroom.
Edward placed both hands on my thighs. "You get my gifts?"
"I did. No take back on the Twinkie. I'm eating it." I watched his hands rub my legs. A part of me wanted to slap him. The other part, the stupid one, wanted kissing.
"I'll enjoy watching you eat it." He tapped my mouth with his finger.
I moved my face away, "Simmer down there, buddy!"
"You're still mad at me?" He leaned back in to stare at me. I don't know what he was looking for. "What can I do?"
His hands were back on my legs. I felt tingly.
"I have absolutely no idea."
"A date?" He seemed happier.
There was no words coming out of me. I blamed the shock.
"There's this, like movie. Empire Records or something that is coming out this weekend," he stated.
"The one with Liv Tyler?"
"Yeah. She's hot." He was completely oblivious. "What?"
I glared at him. "You have to be kidding me."
"You're much hotter." There was that grin that haunted my dreams and made my heart beat faster. "I'll pick you up at seven on Saturday."
"I didn't say that I was going."
He lifted my hand and kissed my palm. "Please go out with me. I want to make you happy."
The bell rang and I tried to move him away. "You better move before somebody sees us."
"I'm not moving." His hands went to my hips, as our classmates flooded out of the cafeteria. His mouth went to my forehead. "Let them see."
"But—"
"Come to the movies. Please." His body was so close. I never thought I would feel this again.
"Fine, but it's only because I want to see the movie. You aren't forgiven yet."
"I know." He linked our hands together. "Let's go get your stuff. There's some place I want to take you."
He pulled me off the table, still holding my hand tightly. I tried to shake him off, but he didn't let go.
I hissed, "No boiler room."
"I'm just walking my girl to her class." His smile was brilliant. I wanted a smile like that too.
All eyes were on us and I didn't care as we went to get my backpack.
The thing about holding hands like this was it was better than kissing.
Almost.
