"Shush," Ronnie soothed her niece as she gently rocked her to sleep. Every night since that cold, dark night back in April, Ronnie had sung Hushabye Mountain to Amy, trying to replace the baby she had lost.
"Did you ever sing to your baby?" Danielle questioned as she sat on the chair opposite Ronnie, looking at her mother with questioning eyes. She was feeling brave; hoping today would be the day she would reveal her true identity.
"Sing?" Ronnie repeated, shaking her head, "No, I don't think so," How could she have sung to her baby when the radio was on? Every mother sang to their child and it was another experience Ronnie had missed out on, an experience she had desperately prayed she would still be able to do.
Ronnie snapped back out of her daydream as the little girl squirmed in her arms. Gently rocking her until her delicate eyes shut, she placed her in the crib before tucking her into the blankets. She couldn't believe how much this darling little girl had grown up in such a short time, she had already developed a personality mirroring Roxy's and her blonde hair was growing day by day to form adorable blonde ringlets.
Her thoughts couldn't help but drift to her own daughter, currently downstairs with Roxy, who she so desperately hoped would realise the truth minus all the cruel and spiteful things Ronnie had said to her own child! Her own child, how could she not have realised? She scolded to herself at her careless error of judgment, not just then but today as well. How could she have burdened her daughter with such a secret as she had done? It just wasn't right. She was a pathetic excuse for a mother.
After checking Amy once more, Ronnie gently pulled the door to on the bedroom door before heading off downstairs. She was feeling giddy about seeing her daughter once more – for so long she had dreamt about her face and how she wished she could have a few more minutes with her and now, here she was faced with the heart-stopping news that her daughter was alive and well.
She was no longer the teenager that Ronnie had so cruelly damaged but a confident young woman who had grown into a beautiful lady, so considerate and gentle. Her whole body filled with guilt as she thought about how cruel fully she had treated this innocent teenager, her innocent teenager. She had damaged her beyond repair and hurt her badly, but maybe this was her second chance, a second chance to make things right and to tell the truth to her beloved daughter.
As she made her way downstairs she could hear the laughter of the two younger women, their laughter simultaneous with each others and the muffled sound of their chatter. As Ronnie walked into the living room, she was faced with a drunken Danielle and tipsy Roxy.
Danielle sat on the sofa, wobbling a drink in her hand, before attempting to drink it but missing and spilling down her clothes. Roxy burst into a fit of laughter as she witnessed this before attempting to help Danielle wipe it up, spilling some of her own drink in the process. Ronnie stared in complete amazement before Roxy beckoned her over,
"Ron, come and 'ave a drink with me and Dani!" Roxy slurred, "Bring us another over 'an all!"
Ronnie's motherly instinct took over as she approached her daughter, trying to prise the drink out of her daughter's hand. After several unsuccessful attempts, she finally managed to grab the bottle before placing it out of reach and glaring at her sister,
"No, give it back!" Danielle pleaded as she held down on Ronnie's sleeve, looking at the woman sat next to her. Ronnie had to tear her eyes away to stop herself from crying; how she wished she had the courage to tell her daughter.
"I'm sorry sweetie but you need to sober up," Ronnie said as she gently wiped the hair from her daughter's face tucking it behind her ear. "Rox! What have you done to her?" Ronnie scorned at her little sister, whilst whispering to her daughter that she couldn't have another drink.
"We wanted to 'ave some fun!" Roxy cried before pouring herself another drink, holding it out to Danielle who was just about to take it before Ronnie grabbed her arm and stopped her. She'd seen Danielle drunk before but that was before she knew, before she had found out that this girl was her baby. Now, her little girl was too innocent to be drunk, she was only young.
"Roxy!" Ronnie cried as she held her daughter in her arms to stop her swaying.
"What Ronnie? She's 19, it's legal,"
"Shes twenty Rox, twenty." Ronnie corrected her sister, knowing the exact age of her daughter. She had known her age for the past twenty years, the number of days and on her particular bad days, even the hours. "And what about Amy? I'm not going to look after her in the morning, what…."
Before Ronnie could finish, Danielle interrupted them, "I think I'm going to be sick…"
Ronnie quickly ushered her daughter to the downstairs toilet, getting there just in time as Danielle vomited into the toilet. Brushing back her baby's hair, Ronnie rubbed her back and knelt on the floor beside her daughter.
"Its ok sweetie," Ronnie soothed as Danielle who looked at her with bleary eyes and the remnants of her stomach around her mouth. Using a piece of toilet paper, Ronnie wiped it away from her daughter's mouth before placing it into the toilet.
After several more minutes of helping her daughter wipe away the remains of the night and the memories, Ronnie smiled as Danielle collapsed into her arms whispering things that made no sense. "I'm here, it's ok"
She passed her a cup full of water as she aided her to drink it, gently holding the glass and wiping the hair out of her daughter's face. She placed it by the side of her as she felt Danielle's body become heavy and sleep take over her, Ronnie slouched up against the wall, "I know I should tell you, but I can't...I'm too afraid of rejection Danielle, of hurting you, but I love you, you have to know that," Ronnie played with her daughter's hair as she slept in her arms, this is how it should have been, how it should be – a mother and daughter together.
