(Harry POV)
St. Mungo's was always depressing, no matter the reason for being there.
It had been three days since the attack and since Blaise and Goyle had both been admitted into the hospital. Both of them had been hit with the same spell, one that caused their organs to swell and, ultimately, begin to fail. They were touch and go for hours.
I walked forward to where Daphne sat with Pansy, Oliver sitting on her knee. Blakely and Alexandria sat at Pansy's feet. The other children, Taylor, Alex, and Ivan, sat with Pansy and Blaise's girls, playing quietly. Crabbe, Claire, and Rebecca were down in the cafeteria and had promised to bring some food up.
"There's daddy," Daphne gave me a small smile, passing Oliver over to me.
"How is he?"
Pansy smiled at me, finishing off Blakely's French braid. "Better. Acting like he's just fine, of course."
"Of course."
The adjoining bathroom door opened and Blaise stepped out in to the room, hospital gown falling down to his knees, robe wrapped tightly around him.
"How you feeling, mate?"
"I'm fine." He cringed as he sat in one of the cushioned chairs, scooping Alex up on the way, placing her on his knee. He refused to get in the bed. He said that that implied that there was something wrong with him when there wasn't. "I'm just trying to figure out why the hell they won't let me go home."
"Maybe because you're recovering from organ failure." I deadpanned.
We heard a soft knock on the door and looked up to see Neville standing there, cooing baby in his arms, Lila, Lance, and Clem standing around him.
"Okay if we come in?"
"Of course."
Lila ran into the room, her and Blakely winding their arms around eachother, wandering to the other side of the room, talking in hushed tones.
Clem, her cheeks red, walked over to Blaise's bedside, holding up a picture for him – a red and purple heart drawn on a white sheet of paper.
Blaise smiled, ruffling the little girl's curls. "Thank you, baby girl. It's beautiful."
"Daddy said your heart went bad. So I drawed you a new one."
Blaise's eyes softened, reaching down to pull the little girl up on his empty knee.
Pansy stood, offering to take Toby from Neville and offering her seat. He let her hold the little boy, but declined the seat.
"Lance?" Daphne asked, noticing the boy lingering in the doorway. "You want to come in, sweetie?"
"No."
Neville sighed, not looking surprised, unlike the rest of us.
None of us had really been around Draco and Neville's kids since Draco disappeared. They spent a lot of time with Molly and Arthur or with Neville in the apartment. They hadn't been many play dates lately. Or anything fun really.
"Why not, honey? What's wrong?"
Lance looked at Daphne, his cheeks turning pink, his eyes welling with tears. "No one cares that my Daddy's dead." Neville hadn't explained the truth to the kids. It was too complicated. It would be easier to explain with Draco there beside him. The kids knew about our jobs so they knew that the prisoners had escaped and knew what had put Goyle and Blaise in the hospital without knowing that Draco was one of them. "My papa's never home. We're always at grandma and grandpa's and Toby's the baby and Clem's little and Lila always get the attention and everybody forgets about me." He wiped his tears away roughly with his sleeve. "I miss my daddy. He never forgot about me. Ever. He always tucked me into bed and kissed me on the forehead and gave me big, warm hugs and he always smelled good and he would always give me the biggest cookie because I helped him bake them.
"Grandma and Grandpa tell me I have to take care of my sisters like I always do. Because I'm the boy. But that's not fair! I'm tired of taking care of my sisters! It's not fair that everyone else gets to keep their daddies and I never ever get to see mine again. I want my daddy back!"
Neville looked hurt, but not surprised by the boy's words. This hadn't been the first time he had said something like this. "Lance, please just come sit down."
"No!" Lance took off down the hallway and Neville quickly made the move to go after him.
"I… I didn't know he had reacted so badly to all of this." Pansy whispered. "Neville told me the kids were getting to be okay again."
"I don't think this is something they'll just be 'okay' with ever again." Daphne sighed. "I know the truth and I'm still definitely not okay with it."
Clem was leaning quietly against Blaise. Lila was off in her own little world, playing with Blakely. Neither of them seemed surprised by Lance's outburst either.
"I'm going to go check on them." I said, handing Oliver back off to his mother, placing a quick kiss on both of their foreheads.
I only had to walk a little bit down the hallway to the area where the waiting area was set up. Neville was crouched down beside where Lance had sat in a chair, his eyes hard and fixed on a spot on the wall.
I walked a bit closer to try to hear what was being said.
"Lance, I know that you miss your daddy, but, I… I need you to be strong through this, okay? I need you to-,"
"No!" His eyes looked from the wall to Neville's. "Daddy never asked me to be strong. Daddy always told me it was okay to be mad and it was okay to be sad, but he wanted me to smile. Then he would…" Tears were gathering in the little boys eyes. "He would tickle me and kiss me and hug me until I smiled. And he's not here to do that anymore. So I don't feel like smiling. I don't want to be strong. I don't want to try to be okay. I just want my daddy."
Neville looked close to tears himself. "I want your daddy too. I miss him so much it hurts. But we have to keep going. We have to keep getting better. And one way to do that is to smile. You don't have to act like you're not sad or mad. I want you to tell me when you're sad or mad. I don't want you to hide how you feel. But I do need you to be strong. I need you to still be my little boy because I can't lose your daddy and you. I can't."
"I just miss him." The little boy whispered, looking down, the tears slipping from his eyes. "I miss how he would read to us. And how he would get so mad at something we'd do and put us in time out, then come over and hug and kiss us and give us secret treats. I miss singing with him while he gave us a bath. I miss hearing him singing the most, I think."
Neville sighed, looking unsure before whispering. "Lance, I have something I need to tell you. But it's just for you. Your sisters can't know. It's very complicated and very… messy right now. But we're working on it. Can I trust you to just keep it to yourself?"
Lance sniffed before nodding at his father.
"I…" Neville sighed. "You're daddy… he's not… he's not gone. Not completely."
Lance looked at his father, eyes wide and confused. "H-he's not dead?"
"No."
"I knew it!" Lance's eyes lit up, a smile taking over his face. "Daddy told me the day he had his… his in-tear-oh-gay-shun that if anything happened that he would always be there with me. But I haven't seen him or heard him. I knew he wasn't dead!"
Neville shushed Lance, giving him a small smile.
"But… if he's not dead… he just… just left us?"
"No!" Neville said quickly, pulling the little boy to him in a hug. "No, Lance, of course not. You're daddy… You're daddy, when he was young, got mixed up with some bad people."
"But he's not bad."
"No. Not at all. Your daddy doesn't have a bad bone in his body.
"But these people… they got mad at your daddy because your daddy and I made sure they got in trouble for the bad things they did. They wanted to make it seem like your daddy did bad stuff so that he would get punished too. They got him taken away from us, made us believe that your daddy had passed away, but he didn't."
"Well… where is he now?"
"We…" Neville sighed. "There's where it gets complicated. We don't know. But we're trying very hard to find him and bring him home."
Lance nodded, wiping the tears off his cheeks. "So I might get to see him again?"
"If I have anything to do with it."
Sniffling pitifully, Lance wrapped his arms around his father. "I'm sorry I've been mean. I just miss daddy so much."
"I know." Neville hugged him back. "But I'll try to be home more, okay? And you, under no circumstances, have to act like you're not mad or sad when you are. You don't have to take care of anyone. That's my job. When I say I want you to be strong, I just mean that I don't want you to give up hope, okay? I don't want you to stop believing that your daddy's going to come back to us."
"I'll never give up on daddy." He said, voice quiet. "I promise."
"Now, please don't tell your sisters."
"I won't." Lance was still sniffling, wiping away his tears. "You promise you're going to try to find him?"
"I promise." Neville pulled the boy against him, hugging him tightly. "I won't stop looking. Not until he's at home singing and baking cookies and dancing around with the music turned up too loud and the neighbors are banging on the walls."
Lance laughed. "He always got so mad. And then lie and say he didn't say any naughty words."
Neville chuckled, his eyes looking slightly glassy. "Now, come on. You think you can go visit Uncle Blaise and Uncle Greg?"
He nodded. "I think seeing me will make them feel a lot better."
"Merlin, you are your father's son."
Lance took off down the hallway, a completely different kid from five minutes ago, and Neville stood, turning, his eyes meeting with mine.
"Before you ask, no, I don't think it was the best decision to tell him the truth about Draco. It's all so complicated and… and just hard. But he's been affected the worst. He needed to know that Draco's still out there somewhere, that there's a chance we can all have a normal life again."
"I think it was a good decision, mate." I walked over to him, clapping him on the shoulder.
"Maybe I will tell the girls." Neville sighed. "It would just be so much easier if Draco was here to help me."
"He will be. Soon. They can't be too far. Montague and Draco's signatures are both still being detected and investigated from the attack. They're skewed, but none of them carry too far. We'll narrow it down and we'll find him. We just have to wait for one of them to slip up, to disapperate or cast even the smallest charm now. We'll find them soon, I promise."
Neville gave me a small smile. "You're right. I just… we all know that they're not giving him a four-course meal and a warm bed. You saw him that day. He was skin and bones. The bags under his eyes were nearly purple. I want him home. I want him away from their abuse. I just want to sit and hold him and never let go ever again."
"Soon." I nodded. "And I'm sure he won't have a single complaint about that."
"I just hope he's okay. That they haven't…" He sighed. "Of course they have."
"Don't think about that. Just focus on your kids for now. Your kids and the magical signatures. Those are the most important things."
Neville nodded. "You're right. You're right. I just hope he atleast has a moment's peace. Atleast in his sleep."
(Val POV)
Sleep hadn't come easily by any means. I had slept in maybe half hour intervals, waking up to remember exactly what was going on, reminded by the small blonde curled into my side.
I had known exactly what I was going to do – tell him the truth. He was married with kids (not mine), that he had a whole new life now. I wouldn't tell him about the things that Montague and Darkboe had done to him, but I would tell him that we had to get help.
And then I had looked at his face, illuminated by the rising sun shining through the slits in the blinds over the windows.
I had seen Draco asleep when we were still with Val. His brow had been furrowed, his lips turned down at the corners. He would sweat and jerk away, fear in his eyes. He would lay there for the next few minutes, shivering and shaking, wrapping his arms around himself.
Now he looked… peaceful. He hadn't woken up once. He had stopped shivering from the cold and hadn't flinched once.
He didn't remember anything.
He didn't remember me breaking his heart. He didn't remember his parents' deaths. He didn't remember the war. He didn't remember Longbottom or his kids. As far as he knew, he was sixteen, head over heels in love, without a care in the world.
Would it really be so bad if I lied to him? If I let him think that everything was okay? That he wasn't being tracked down by men who wanted to murder him and by the ministry? If I just left out the fact that he was married to Longbottom with children who were missing their father?
Wouldn't I be a worse person if I told him the truth?
I had been overcome with guilt as I laid there and thought.
If it wasn't for my stupidity and my greed and total disregard for everyone else but myself, none of this would have ever happened.
I don't think we necessarily would've ended up together because he eventually would've caught on to what an ass I was and left me, but he might have moved on straight from me to Longbottom. He might have just had a totally happy life with no abuse, no anything.
Draco stirred against me, his arm stretching to drape over my chest as he yawned.
I had made up my mind. I was going to keep him safe. Just until he remembered on his own. He could be happy for a little while. Then maybe by the time it came back to him, Montague and Darkboe would be captured and out of the picture and he could go home and be safe.
Draco snuggled up tighter against me. "Good morning."
"Good morning." I whispered back, my throat feeling tight, my heart racing.
I didn't know if I would actually be able to do this.
"I don't want to get out of bed."
"You don't have to."
Draco sighed, sitting up, rubbing his eyes. "Yes I do. My mom and dad are going to get all pissy if I'm out too late and Daphne can only cover for me for so long. And, Salazar, if they found out. Or Blaise. Fuck. I'd be-," Draco cut himself off, his fingers in his hair. "What the… Why the hell is my hair so long?" He turned to look at me and his eyes went wide, the color draining from his face.
"Draco, just breathe, okay? Calm down."
"I… I don't…" Suddenly he was out of the bed and out of the room, feet pounding the wooden floor.
"Draco!" I jumped out of the bed, rushing after him, afraid of where exactly he was going to try to go.
The blonde ripped open a door across the hallway, exposing the bathroom, and seeing himself in the mirror looking directly at him.
He froze and I flinched. I knew he was seeing how thin he was, the bags under his eyes, the length of his hair, the bruising around his throat, the yellow and green bruises on his face, not to mention the obvious aging.
His breathing was uneven, his face pale, his eyes welling with tears. "Val." He suddenly sobbed, turning to rush to me, his arms winding around my waist, burying his face in my chest.
The two of us sunk to the floor and I just let him cry for a moment, let him get out his confusion and anguish and waited until his breathing was a little more even.
"You hit your head, Dray. That's it. Everything's okay. I promise."
"But the… the bruises and-,"
"There was an attack in Diagon Alley. We got caught in the middle. That's when you hit your head."
He still had his face buried in my chest. "So I can't remember… anything? I… How old am I?"
"Twenty-four."
"Twenty-four?!" His breathing was uneven once again as he began to panic, looking up at me. "I… I can't remember nearly ten years of my life?!"
"Draco, it's okay. Just breathe, okay? You're going to hyperventilate." I cupped one side of his face, making him look at me. "Just breathe."
Draco closed his eyes, leaning into my palm. "Wait." He said suddenly, eyes popping open. "You're here with me. So… we… we lasted? We ended up together?"
I froze, once again faced with making that final decision, but before I even thought about it, I was already speaking. "Of course we did, babe. Did you think we wouldn't?"
Draco, his eyes softening, smiled. "I hoped we would. I wanted it more than anything in the world. I just didn't think you wanted to. "
My heart dropped. Merlin, I was a piece of shit.
"Come on, baby. Let's go back to bed, okay? We can get a little more sleep and then we can talk about everything, okay? I'll answer anything you want me to."
Draco's eyes were still soft, a smile across his lips. "Okay."
I stood and put out my hand to help the blonde to his feet. He reached up and grabbed my hand, freezing as he looked at his hand.
Somehow, in over a month, I hadn't seen the wedding ring still, by some miracle, on his finger.
"We're… we're married?"
I swallowed thickly before nodding.
"How long?"
He's twenty-four, he thinks he's sixteen, a good time would be-
"Six years."
"Six years?" Draco grinned, hurrying to his feet, throwing his arms around me. "I knew you were the one. I just knew you were. You're the most perfect person I've ever met."
Guilt and self-hatred.
And yet I could feel myself softening, a smile taking over my lips. I scooped the blonde up, one arm under his knees, the other under the small of his back, grinning as he let out an indignant squeak, and walking back towards the queen size bed.
Throwing myself back on the bed, both of us laughing, I stopped, looking at him.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just… hope you remember everything soon."
"Me too." His smile was a little sad as he ran his fingers through my hair. "But, I'm okay knowing that I'm with you. I love you."
No one had ever felt that way about me before.
Or I guess they had. He had. But I was too worried about having sex with whatever I could to see it.
"I love you, too."
Draco tucked his head under my chin, pressing a kiss to my throat.
And I realized I was in way over my head.
(Page Break)
Here's the next chapter! Sorry it too me so long! I've got a lot going on, but I'm updating when I can. I'm really excited for this story. I keep kind of redoing the storyline in my head, but it gets a little better everytime.
Hope you guys enjoyed it!
Reviews are Love!
