I do not own any of JE's characters. Thanks for reading!

Steph POV

We troop back to the cars and get situated. I lead them to our destination even though I am almost positive there have been practice runs and background checks on everyone who attends this class. My man is security conscious.

Once we are at the community center, I see my sister Valerie with my niece Lisa who is 6 weeks old. How is that baby going to do any exercises if it cannot even sit? She has only brought the baby with her to get attention. This is so frustrating, but I decide to ignore her.

I also see Susan Markowitz. She has a baby every year. Who is she Mrs. Weasley? Yeesh, get a damn TV. Okay, that was mean, but you know condoms are almost free. I will stop being overly critical, it's just that so many babies cannot be cheap and then she is stuck. Anything she wants to do will be put on hold when she has children and then she is responsible for another person.

The kids notice that I am here and a crowd starts to form. The Mommies notice the hot guys I am with and they all suck in their stomachs. Lol. Bobby and Hal look like they are about to call for backup when I hear my new favorite Merry Man call me. "Yo Beautiful!"

I turn to see Lester and Gram wearing matching track suits and already in the play area. I hear Hal start to hyperventilate behind me. Keeping one hand on the babies, I turn to Hal and suggest that he patrol the parking lot for any suspicious characters. I see smoke that is how fast he hightails it out of there. Bobby and I join Les and Gram because I have to know the story behind this.

The kids start playing. Gram greets me like she didn't see me last night. "Hey Babygirl. I remembered that you were here," she says out loud and hugs me.

In a whisper she tells me that she is undercover to catch Maureen Wilcox another FTA. Maureen got caught shoplifting Cheetos. You think this sounds funny but she thought the store was going to stop carrying them and she had to stock up. It was from postpartum depression. She had a freak out in the store and scared the sales clerks.

When the police came, she was covered in orange and stuffing bags of Cheetos into her car, kid's bag and her clothes. Anyway, Maureen brings her baby to Gymboree and sits quietly manning the snack table and eating in the corner. I had noticed her before, but I just thought she had to go to anger management or take a pill or something.

I see Lester sidling up to her and saying something, then she suddenly throws food at him. It is the saddest one sided food fight in the world. I know Lester is trying not to start a scene or use a gun, but she is starting to get more violent. Gram charges over there to help out her "partner" and I just know my mom is going to call me. Gram grabs Maureen's hair and gets her into a headlock, the kids are cheering like it's wrestle mania. I see Hal is still outside looking into the window like a deer in headlights.

I give Bobby the Burg glare and tell him to go save Lester who now has even more Mommies beating him with their purses and baby bags because they think he was trying to steal the snacks. Gram and Maureen are still wrestling on the floor. I remember that I have a whistle and blow it. Everybody freezes. This gives Bobby time to save Lester and get Maureen into soft restraints and out the door. Gram apologizes for the rough housing and agrees to take Maureen's kid to her mother's.

Once they leave, I am stuck with Hal, the babies who are clapping and the mommies who have also now called the police. I wonder of anyone filmed it for Youtube.

My phone is now playing the Batman theme song. "Yo," I answer. "Babe," he says. I think this time Babe means why did your grandma and Lester attack a mommy at Gymboree.

"Sweetie, Les has picked up another FTA and Bobby went to help grandma take her baby to a family member's house. I am about to take Hal to the mall with the babies talk to you later, love you." Then I hang up.

I need to turn off my phone before she calls me. I know my mother is probably ironing the tablecloths by now and drinking her "tea". When will she learn to ignore these gossiping harpies? Well maybe because she is one.

I would rather take the phone call from my mother then talk to the person approaching me.

"Well if it isn't Cupcake." Joe freaking Morelli who is apparently my new stalker. Crucio! I wish I had magic. What detective responds to trouble at a mommy class?

He stares at me like I am food in a cartoon. "What did you do now?" I signal for Hal to come and get the babies. He whisks them outside, and I face Morelli.

"I did not do anything officer. I frequently volunteer at this class, and I just happened to witness the events along with the rest of the crowd. I am sure that if you stop trying to look down my shirt and interview the witnesses, you will learn what happened," I reply very helpfully.

"Come on, Cupcake, this seems like a cry for help, you knew I would be in the area." This guy is delusional. "You should let me take you to Pino's for pizza then back to my place-you know the boys miss you."

He is giving me a look that he must think is sexy. The top buttons on his shirt are open and he has so much chest hair showing. Ick. I threw up in my mouth a little bit. What grown man calls his penis and balls the boys. He is propositioning me in front of all these impressionable children.

The disgusted look on my face is not enough to give him an idea of my answer, so I add a "no thank you, Detective I would not like to accompany you." See I can be polite in front of the kids. Then I lean closer to him and tell him quietly that if he does not leave me alone I will cut off the boys.

I have been hitting ignore on my phone for the past five minutes and I know my mother's next step will be to show up. Well, okay nothing to see here folks, I gotta go. See you guys next week I say as I make my escape.

I see Hal posted outside the Cayenne with the babies watching Ghostbusters in the backseat. They really love this movie.

"Hey Hal, are you okay?"

"Hello, Miss Plum. I am doing alright."

"Hal, please call me Stephanie or Steph." Hey blushes and says, "Ok Miss Stephanie." He is so cute.

"I was going to go to the mall next but let's stop at the house first and give the babies their lunch."

My poor phone is going to melt because it won't stop ringing. I have 25 missed calls by the time we get back to my place. I go there intentionally because I am trying to hide from Carlos and the Merry Men. I shuttle Alex and Fifi into my living room which I notice that Ella has transformed into a kiddie paradise. I must have a talk with her. Does she have OCD or something? When did she have time to paint?

The kids start crawling around and I get a drink for us. As I head back to the living room I feel the tingle in my neck and sigh.

"Hi Batman, why are you here instead of at work?" I try to put him on the defensive.

"Babe," he says. I'm getting good at this. This time it means, what really happened earlier and why won't you answer your phone?

"Carlos, it was not exactly my fault. You know Lester and Gram had bingo today. I did not know they were going to show up at the community center to do a take down. They did not tell me until they were already there. You know I would have kept the babies out of it."

"Babe, the safety of the twins is the first priority."

"Sweetie I know. Trust me, the only weapon used was food and pocketbooks." He looks shocked. I explain what happened to him and when I am finished he looks like he wants to laugh.

Ranger POV

When the babies' panic alarms went off I left the office and waiting for them to text me the location. Why were they at the Cluck N a Bucket? When I get there I see Hal and Bobby standing guard at the car with the babies secure. Why did they press the alarm? I turn and see Babe has some silicone breast having woman pinned to the ground and is kicking her ass. The way she is straddled over her is kind of hot. Babe is cursing up a storm.

Is this Joyce Barndhart? No wonder Babe is beating her. She must have gotten near the babies or they would not have pressed the button. I pulled her off Joyce and hugged her. Once she realized it was me, she stopped struggling. I love her. She went after that woman for me and my kids. I kiss her and fist bump my kids and get out of there. If I stayed any longer I would bend Babe over the nearest flat surface.

Then Hal called me to tell me that there might be a problem with Gymboree. He asked who approved the takedown at the same time as Steph's class. I took a deep breath and called Babe. She rushed me off the phone and told me she was headed to the mall. I checked her tracker and saw that she was at her condo. When I got there she told me what happened and it sounded funny. I am going to hurt Lester.

Steph POV

I go and sit on the sofa after giving the babies their sippy cups. Carlos sits beside me and I cuddle into him.

"Anyway baby, I am about to get them lunch and a nap and head to the mall this afternoon." He kisses me and I start to think about a grown up nap. Mmmmm. Soon Batman soon.

I promise to have a talk with Gram and he says he will talk to Lester about the takedown.

"I still don't get the matching tracksuits. I guess that was their undercover clothes to blend in."

"Babe, Lester is always trying to change the Rangeman uniform."

Carlos plays with the babies while I heat up our lunch which Ella has so helpfully labeled in the fridge. This woman must have magic powers. I make Hal come in to eat and Bobby follows him in. He gets a raised eyebrow from Carlos but he busies himself putting Alex into his high chair. Everyone eats and laughs at the babies and tries to ignore the elephant in the room.

"Babe," Carlos starts.

"No, Carlos, I will not take extra security to the mall. If you want to keep the babies and stay home while I shop that is fine. " He looks trapped.

"No you can't call Ella. This is supposed to be a week of you getting used to a schedule with them. Sometimes they will go to the mall. I am taking 2 guys with me. We have all of the panic buttons and trackers. Calm down." And that is when Lester and Gram come in.

They have changed clothes again and are now back to his uniform and her sparkly dangerous mini skirt and halter top. "Hey baby girl how are you. Did you see me undercover getting that perp?"

"Yes Gram everybody at the center saw you." The babies start clapping for her.

Lester just hands me a folder. I read about Treshawn Quentin Jenkins, an FTA who is charged with DUI and disturbing the peace. He crashed his car into a wedding reception at the VFW while driving drunk. I look at Lester and try to raise an eyebrow but raise both.

He smiles and says, "Come on Beautiful work your magic on this one for me." I sigh knowing that will mean turning on my poor overheated phone. I turn it on and call Lula.

"Hey Whitegirl are you alright? I heard you were wrestling Joe Morelli at the mommy and me class and he had you covered in Cheetos."

"No Lula, the wonder twins took down Maureen, she hit them with Cheetos and Morelli showed up afterwards and I told him to leave me alone or I would cut off the boys. Girl enuff said. I was calling to see if you heard anything about Treshawn Jenkins."

"Oh you mean Q-Dog? Yeah my girl Lacy from Stark always be telling my about his freaky ass. He likes the glaze from the Cinabon shop at the mall so he buys a lot of Cinabons and rubs them—"

"Okay Lula, I get the picture."

"Anyway girl his nasty freaky ass don't even eat the Cinabon, just wants the girl to lick."

"Lula stop. Thanks, this will be helpful. I will see you at the mall in a half hour. Meet you at Macy's shoe department."

"Okay cool Whitegirl. I'm bout to bounce. Vinnie is getting on my nerves and I cannot ignore the noises he is making much longer." I hang up and sigh. Why did I get into this?

"If I tell you how to get this guy can I still go to the mall?" I question Carlos.

"What is it Babe?" I get Hal to take the babies to the living room.

"Lester, Treshawn has a fetish for Cinabons and will likely be there at some point. If one of you poses as a worker for them and offers him a most valued customer deal or something he will follow you anywhere." Lester looks excited and is bouncing up and down looking hopefully at Carlos.

Carlos looks at Gram. "Oh I can't go to this op boys, I have a date. My homey Lester made Sammy jealous and now he's taking me to the Early Bird special. You know he still has his driver's license? I like them young." Yeesh. I hear Bootylicious playing and she answers her phone.

"Ok peeps, Sammy is outside, I gotta go."

Lester hugs her and tells her to be safe and that he will bring her a check for today's help. She hugs him back and they do a complicated handshake then she is gone. Carlos just shakes his head and mutters scary gene pool.

"Babe, I will let Lester try the take down as you have suggested. If it saves the public from any violence I am all for it. He just better make sure there are no screw ups." I nod and advise Lester.

"Take Bobby with you. Maybe he can do free samples and let you know when Treshawn is approaching. Call Sheila Myers. She is the manager."

They look at me. "I like food okay, and I went to high school with her brother." Lester hugs me and calls Sheila. He and Bobby soon leave.

Carlos still looks skeptical about allowing us to go to the mall. "Baby, if I don't go to the mall, how am I going to go to Vicky's?" He slams me up against the wall and kisses the daylights out of me.

"Babe, you are playing with fire."

"Maybe you should burn me later." He growls. I escape and go upstairs to change clothes. I put on a black denim mini skirt, ankle boots that have a 4 inch heel and make my legs look miles long, and a blue Rangeman t shirt I found that leaves my stomach exposed by a few inches.

On the way out of my room, I grab my apparently new Rangeman hoody. Huh. Ella needs some sleep.

When I go back downstairs, Carlos looks ready to attack, Hal blushes and the babies want to be picked up. I choose the babies and get kisses and hugs. I make sure they are changed and ready then head to the car. Batman kisses me goodbye after I promise to call if there are any problems.

"Trust me, Sweetie, we are shopping. It will be fine. Go finish your paperwork and if you are good we can have a fashion show after I go out tonight," I tease and then jump into the car. My babies are strapped in and already into Ghostbusters. I wave at Hal and leave an almost feral looking Carlos standing on the sidewalk. I am going to pay for that later. Heh heh.

Ranger POV

Ella had gotten into her wardrobe. Seeing Babe like that made me so horny. Victoria's Secrets indeed. She is teasing me. Other women would have given in to me by now. Not Steph. I can tell she wants me though. When she is ready we will take that step. She is so crazy and she makes me smile.

Steph POV

We drive to the mall listening to No Scrubs by TLC lol. Usually at the mall I have to follow little old ladies to their parking spots and sit there with my blinkers hoping someone doesn't take my spot from the other direction. Since I am driving the batmobile, I of course find a spot right in front of Macy's. I get the stroller and the babies situated, kiss them and head to the shoe department.

Hal and Tank are dressed normal and Tank is going to try to look like he's with Lula. Speak of the devil. She spots Tank and starts running.

"Tankie!" I watch him catch her and swing her around. They kiss like they are alone. Connie and I are watching open mouthed.

"Guys, let's check out the shoes. I need a new pair for girl's night. I want a pair that sparkles."

"Girl, it don't matter what you wear, Batman gonna get it off you."

Connie agrees with her. "You know he's the wizard." I buy 4 pair of sexy shoes, Lula gets 2 and Connie gets 3.

We leave the shoe department and head to the dresses. I notice that store security has been following us discreetly. Ugh! I ignore them and take some dresses into the changing room, keeping the babies with me.

Hal and Tank are sitting in the boyfriend chairs waiting for us to come out and model our clothes. I try on a little black dress that looks great on the mannequin, but on me, not so much. I come out and everyone gives me a thumbs down. I see Lula has found a dress that is black and purple spandex and Tank looks mesmerized. I guess she found her dress. Connie has a red number that makes her look like Betty Boop. If she waxes her moustache it will be totally cute.

I trudge back into the dressing room and see a midnight blue halter dress that has tiny diamond like sequins outlining the front v of the dress right down to the low cut cleavage. The skirt part is flirty and will flair when I dance. It hits me mid thigh and with the 5 inch silver Cinderella looking FMPs I found, will drive Carlos crazy.

The babies clap when I turn to them, and I laugh at them. When I come out of the dressing room Tank says damn Little Girl. We gonna need extra security on you in that dress.

Hal has turned red, and Lula says, "Wow Whitegirl you gotta get that dress that dress is the shit." I blush and go back to change.

After we pay for our dresses, we head to the food court to make sure Lula doesn't fade away. I was just about to feed the babies some more bourbon chicken and rice with cabbage yum, when we heard a commotion from the other side of the food court.

People are being knocked over and shoved out of the way. Tank and Hal form a wall in front of my table to block the babies in, and as a sticky looking shirtless Treshawn runs by while rubbing cinabons on his chest with Lester in hot pursuit, Lula trips him and he goes sprawling into the fountain. Lester and Bobby, who is still carrying his free sample tray fist bump Lula and give her the rest of the cinabons so they can handcuff Treshawn. I look at the babies who just laugh.

I go back to feeding them and pretend that all of this is not going on around me. Yes, I can go to Denial Land. We eat quietly while people are crowding around wondering why the cinabon people are attacking their customers.

Once we are done, we silently troop to Victoria's Secret for our lingerie. Tank and Hal start stuttering mumbling about protocol and standard operating procedures. I look at them in question and they explain that there is no way they can go to a lingerie store. These guys are for real.

To solve this, I call Carlos. He answers on the first ring.

"Yo, Babe."

"Hi, Sweetie, listen we are almost done here, but can you tell Tank and Hal that they are allowed into Vicky's?"

"What do you mean, Babe?"

"Well, they seem to think that there is no procedure for entering a lingerie store."

"Babe," he sighs. "Just promise that you ladies will not model your purchases and they can stay outside the store. As long as they can see you that will be fine."

"Okay Baby, talk to you later." I give the guys the new plan and me and the girls head into Vicky's with the babies.

We are finished surprisingly fast despite the slight tussle Lula has with some woman over the last purple thong. TMI. This trip to the mall has really tired me out. We leave and head back to the car with the guys carrying our bags.

My phone rings before I can get into the car. Dammit!

"Stephanie Michelle Plum, this is your mother." Every time with this?

"Yes, ma, I have caller id."

"Stephanie people have been calling me all day. I ran into Angie Morelli at confession and she told me how sad Joseph was that you would not go on a date with him." Does this woman have amnesia?

"Ma, I am dating Carlos."

"Well Stephanie, I just thought that you might be happier with children of your own, and Joseph is Italian."

"Ma, I would sew it shut before I give Joseph the time of day. And children of my own, mother please stop drinking. I told you I will never date Joseph Morelli. Tell his mother to stop babying him."

"What's this I hear about you and your grandmother getting into a food fight at Gymboree?"

"Ma that was not me I was just there." She is determined to blame me for everything.

"Stephanie she came in here covered in food then changed her clothes and said she had a hot date. Is she dating one of those men in black? She told me she likes them young."

"No Ma, Lester just gave her a ride. She met Sammy at bingo and he took her to the Early bird Special."

"Does he have his own house?" my father wants to know in the background. LOL.

"Well Stephanie, people keep calling me and Mrs. Camponelli's daughter doesn't get into food fights."

"Yeah Ma, her daughter has herpes because her husband uses hookers on Stark Street."

"Well Stephanie at least she is married." Wow.

"Ma, I gotta go."

"I am making lasagna on Sunday, you should call Joseph and come to dinner." Nope.

"Mom, I am going to meet Carlos' family on Sunday. If you want to eat with Joseph on Sunday be my guest." I hang up and rest my head on the steering wheel. Geez.

"You okay, Steph?" Connie asks.

"Yeah, you know my mom, she is caught up in the Burg Grapevine and she really wants me to marry a nice Italian boy blah blah blah."

"Keep your head up girl. I will see you tonight, it's Friday girl get excited."

"Okay, bye Con."

I beep my horn to get Tank and Lula to separate. That is definitely a love match. Hal is back behind the wheel of their car. I wave to Lula and start the drive back home.

The babies have fallen asleep by the time we reach home so the guys help me into Carlos' condo with the bags and equipment. I put them into their play pen and flop backwards on the couch.

That is how Carlos finds me when he gets home. He takes off my shoes and starts to massage my feet making me moan in appreciation.

"Rough day at the mall Babe," he asks with a smile.

"I don't want to talk about it," I say.

"Lester got a date with Sheila from the Cinabon store," he adds.

"That's nice," I say.

"Babe, it wasn't that bad. No guns were used and the guys had on normal clothes."

"Yes baby, that is great I answer distractedly. I am going to head home to get ready for our night out. When are the guys coming over to play poker?"

"They will be here by 1900."

"Okay, the girls will come to my place by 6pm but we won't leave until 9pm." I kiss him for a long while and leave. He catches me before I can get out of the room.

"Babe, are you alright?" He plays with my hair.

"I just hate the headache I get after dealing with a telephone blitz from my mother. The woman would rather believe gossip than her own daughter. I love you Carlos." I hug him.

"I love you too Babe."

"You ladies will have drivers tonight."

"We are going to Caliente, the new club on State Street."

"No problem Babe. Don't go crazy."

"Thank you, Carlos." I leave to go get ready for girls' night. I need a drink.