"A Love in Reverse"
by: S. Schumaker

Rated MA: for sexual themes, content, and adult language.

Please don't read this if you are under 17 years old.

(AN: All right. So, this chapter isn't exactly an edit, it's more of a complete rewrite! I hope you understand why I had to do this, but as many of you believed, the reunion of the trio seemed way too rushed in the original version. I hope you enjoy this chapter better, please let me know what you think of the changes!)

Please go back and re-read chapter seven before reading this new chapter if you haven't already. Changes were made to the original version.

Chapter Eight - Confessions


"Hey Potter! So, tell me, what was it like exactly?" Harry's head snapped up at the sound of his name. His eyes landing on an older student that he barely knew.

"What was what like?" Harry was almost afraid to ask.

"Well, getting into Granger's pants of course!" The student laughed before turning down a corridor with his fellow buddies, all gossiping as they went. Harry groaned, ducking into a nearby classroom. He sighed as he found it empty, just thankful to be alone for awhile. It had been a few days since his outburst about his feelings in the hallway. The gossip had spread so far that nearly everyone knew about what had happened between him and Hermione… or at least they were telling stories like they did. He overheard a few students discussing how he had taken Hermione at the top of the astronomy tower, how he had banged her in the teacher's lounge, he had even heard an extreme and disturbing tale about how he had fucked her in the kitchens with all the house elves watching and cheering him on!

Harry dropped his head in his hands in misery. How had he let this happen? He was infuriated with himself but more so with Ron for practically forcing this confession to escape his lips. A confession he wasn't completely trustful of yet. Harry slid to the floor against the closed door, allowing his thoughts to explore and remember the moments with Hermione in peace.

He may not be completely sure if he loved her like he had expressed, but he certainly liked her. Not only were his thoughts and dreams filled with images of her, images of her nakedness, her smile, her hand in his. But was this his lust? His friendship for her? He was still so unsure of himself, even if his subconscious hadn't been that day during the duel.

He backed up in his memories. She had been with him through so much, through the petty fights he had always had with Ron, her help through his homework, through his reunions with Lord Voldemort. She was always willing to help him; she even was petrified in order to help clear his name while the Chamber of Secrets was being opened by Tom Riddle's memory. He always went to her in a struggle, always trusted her advice above any others. She was one of his best friends, sure, but she always was something more to him too. The idea of anyone else dating her infuriated him. Remembering how she went to the Yule Ball with Krum sent him into a blind rage. He had to remind himself that their relationship was strictly plutonic, but still he felt… what? Jealous? Was this jealousy?

He couldn't imagine another person being the closest person to her. He wanted to fill that role. He wanted to be the one she turned to, that she ran to for help. He couldn't believe how blind to his own feelings he had been… but now he finally understood. He did love her. He loved everything about her! Why did it take him so long to realize that? Their drunken night of scandal and sex must have been his subconscious's way of breaking free, trying to reveal his real feelings. He sighed as the realization of his true feelings filled him up, freeing him from so much past stress.

Not really knowing what he would do upon seeing her face, Harry stood up and felt the desire to find her that very instant. He needed to talk to her, explain himself and what he had finally figured out truly lay within his heart. He felt like he couldn't wait another minute as he wrenched open the classroom door and raced out into the empty hallway.


"Ron, stop being such a drag!"

Ron's head snapped up at the sound of his brother's words. He was currently slumped in a large chair in the Gryffindor common room and honestly couldn't remember the last time he had even moved. He felt like he couldn't think or talk or attend classes because every time he did anything that involved coherent thinking, his mind flashed back to images of Harry on top of Hermione in the library or of Harry and him dueling it out in the corridor, or of Harry's words as they echoed throughout the castle: "I'M IN LOVE WITH HER…." Ron groaned as he forced himself to sit up straight.

"What do you want, George?" Ron knew that taking out his anger and frustration and loneliness and every other emotion he felt on his family wouldn't solve anything for him, but he really had no other outlet right now. He hadn't spoken to either Harry or Hermione since the duel and he had even gone to such lengths as to avoid them in class and at meal times. He just didn't know how to react toward either of them anymore.

"All right. That's it, Ron! You need to get out of this room. Get some fresh air! Walk the grounds or something. Maybe go visit Hagrid. I don't care! But, if you don't stop mopping around and acting like such a jerk I might have to put a hex on you, little brother!" Fred replied in anger. He took one of Ron's arms as George took the other and the two twins hoisted Ron right out of his chair. Ron began grumbling and struggling against them, but the twins ignored him and simply dragged him to the portrait hole and tossed him out into the hallway.

"And, don't come back until you can find something to smile about!" George screamed, slamming the portrait closed in his face. Ron simply stared back in response, not able to believe how his brothers had just evicted him like that.

"I think you should listen to those boys, son. You look simply dreadful." The fat lady cooed at him. Her face scrunched up in worry. Ron huffed a bit, nodded back at her and turned on his heel. He obviously had no clear destination, but he found himself heading out of the castle and toward the grounds. This would be the easiest place to hide as most of the students were indoors on this frigid, rainy day. Ron was thankful for his numbness toward the entire situation because he knew other students were gawking and jeering at him as he made his way outside. In his current state, he wouldn't, couldn't react. Normally, his temper would get the best of him and he'd have a hard time suppressing his anger against some of the comments flying his way now.

But thankfully, his mind was so utterly wrapped up in torment that nothing around him seemed to affect him any longer. Reaching the shore of the lake, Ron slumped down to the ground. He allowed himself to lean back and let the rain just splash against his face, hoping it would wash away the memories of the past week. Before long, Ron noticed that a few of his own tears were sliding along his cheeks with the raindrops. He was so completely destroyed and hurt by the two people he held nearest. His best friend swooped in with his charm and whatever else he used and stole the girl of his dreams right out from under him. And his Hermione… well, she would never be his now he supposed, not after the horrible things he said to her.

Ron couldn't imagine himself ever really forgiving Harry for the betrayal, but with Hermione he knew that she wasn't really at fault here. She was tricked by Harry with the alcohol and the popularity he oozed. But she obviously wasn't with Harry now… she was avoiding him like the plague alongside himself. Maybe he should try to talk to her. It was true that Ron had had a crush on the girl for a few years now, but he never really allowed himself to show those feelings in front of her. He was always too shy or too embarrassed, even too unsure of his feelings himself. But now that Hermione had this experience with Harry, even heard a love confession from him, Ron really didn't have a chance at all with her!

Ron jumped up, suddenly feeling alive inside. Of course Hermione would eventually choose Potter… she didn't know that Ron was in this race for her still! Ron was such a complete jerk to her that she probably wouldn't even remember Harry telling her he had a crush on her. Ron definitely wasn't about to give up without even trying. If she knew how he felt about her and then still chose Potter… well at least he would know that he gave it his all. He needed to apologize, profusely, and finally tell her about his crush.

Yes! That's exactly what he should do! Ron raced back toward the castle, determined to find Hermione and explain himself to her. He had to!


Hermione found herself drained and worried. She couldn't figure out what to do or feel or think or say. All she knew was that she'd give anything to skip classes, meals, avoid hallways… and just stay right here in her alcove in the library. She opted for a corner as far away from the one she had met Harry in… she couldn't even allow herself to walk near that area. Not that it mattered much, those moments replayed in her mind over and over again without revisiting the scene of the crime.

She felt so exhausted by her thoughts. She kept replaying everything, over and over again. Not only in her awake hours but also all night, every night in her dreams. She felt Harry's lips on her, the touch of him on her skin, his length inside of her. Those moments felt so real, so intense. She longed to experience it again just for the pure exhilaration of it.

But then she heard the words Ron screamed at her, and felt instantly ashamed again and embarrassed by her actions. She was not acting like herself. She would never have emotionless sex with anyone, right? She wanted to be in love, to be involved with someone before she gave in to such selfish desires. She didn't want to be seen, by anyone, as a whore that was only interested in a man because of his name or power or wealth… She was better than that.

After the guilt, always came the memory of Harry's confession. True, he didn't say the words to her… he didn't even know she was there. Was that better or worse? Did he say those words to stop Ron's attacks on him? To end the duel? Or did he say them because he believed Hermione WASN'T there? That his feelings were still safe within him? Was that okay with her? Did he actually love her or were they just words of the moment? God! She was so utterly confused and tormented!

She hated this entire situation and wished it would just all go away! She knew that she felt something for both Harry and Ron. That was for sure. She would die for either of them. But was that her friendship? Her loyalty? Why was she feeling so drawn to Harry physically right now? She wished she understood what everything meant for her. She sighed long and deep. No matter what though, she was staying in the library until curfew. No way was she getting leered and pointed at for another second today. She couldn't take two steps before someone was whispering about her, pointing, or making blatant comments to get a rise out of her. She couldn't take the rumors and the gossip anymore…

She couldn't take much of anything anymore…

But, no matter what, she had to see Harry again, and soon. She needed to really hear his side of things. Feel her own feelings around him again. See if her emotions were genuine or just some strange combination of nervousness and teenage lust. Tomorrow, she'd approach Harry, tomorrow, she'd get to the bottom of things!


As Harry rounded another corner, desperately seeking Hermione, he remembered that she wanted space from him. Needed time to think. He stopped in his tracks. As much as he longed to tell her what he discovered about himself, he felt guilty for trying to force it upon her before she could come to him. He needed the time and the opportunity to focus his thoughts and feelings, couldn't he give that to her as well?

He knew he had to. Stopping in his search of Hermione, Harry turned on his heel and headed back in the same direction that he originally came from. As Harry walked through the castle corridors, on his way back to Gryffindor tower, Harry came face to face with Ron. Instantly worried, Harry took a step back as Ron noticed him standing before him. Harry quickly glanced around, grateful to notice that this time there were no onlookers. It was just a deserted hallway with the two of them.

"Ron." Harry greeted. Ron gave a very curt, short nod in return. His eyes squeezing down into a worried glare as he looked over Harry.

"I'm in love with her too, Harry. And, I intend to tell her so." Ron barked out. Harry's mouth dropped open at the confession. Harry knew that Ron liked the girl, but loved her? Did he really? It seemed to Harry that Ron's feelings for Hermione were so much smaller than that. He only liked her, really, because she was the only girl he even knew!

"Really?" Harry asked. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Of course it's a good idea! What, you think you're the only guy around here that deserves her or what?" Ron's temper began rising again. Harry took a deep breath. He had to try and calm him down before this got out of hand again.

"You know that's not it, Ron. If Hermione wants to be with you, is happy with you, then I would certainly encourage that. I'm just saying that Hermione's been through a lot lately. She's just given up her virginity without knowing why or how, she has two of her best friends fighting over her, and she overheard a… well, a confession of love that was screamed in front of the whole school. She needs some time to wrap her head around things a little, don't you think? Plus, how much have you really thought about your feelings for her?"

Ron's shoulders dropped. Harry was right, at least a little. Hermione probably was going through so much right now. He overheard the rumors and dealt with the jeers from his classmates and he was sure that both Harry and Hermione were dealing with the backlash as well. Harry could take it just fine… having been a source of gossip for years. Ron could handle it mainly because he was distancing himself from everyone and everything… but Hermione? She was dealing with it daily and she definitely didn't have the strength to deal with it on her own like she was. She was bound to be suffering a lot right now.

"All right. Fine. I'll give her some space, but not for long. She deserves to see both sides of this, don't you think?" Ron revealed.

"If you truly love her, then yes, I think she deserves to know. But I also think you should reevaluate your feelings for her Ron. If you truly loved her, don't you think you would have done something by now? Don't you think you would have made a move? Do you think you would have dated whatshername for as long as you did? Yes, I know she kind of forced herself on you, but you definitely didn't mind making out with her in front of Hermione and everyone else did you? I just think that if you are going to make such an extreme confession to Hermione, that you be damned sure that it's genuine first. Mine feelings are real, because I've been picking them apart, analyzing them for days… and I swear to you Ronald. If you tell her you love her, then realize it was just a crush and hurt her…..I'll kill you." Harry's words startled Ron so much that he barely moved as Harry rushed past him.

Ron hung his head in thought, his opinion of Harry extremely changed by his words. Harry cared for Hermione. He really did love her. Ron shook his head. Harry couldn't derail his plan. Ron would talk to Hermione, he'd finally figure out who she was going to choose. He'd force a choice from her. He had to.


(AN: It only took me five years to update this! Ha! Not bad right? Sorry for the MAJOR delay, hope you like it!)