Disclaimer – I own nothing, am not making a profit from anything related to Labyrinth, all original characters owned by Henson et al.

AN: Thank you to those who have sent PM's and Reviewed, I am grateful. Tenjp I cannot respond to you directly so here is a big thank you to you and I am glad you are enjoying it. I also note that some of you have commented that you are pleased there is some dialogue between Jareth and Sarah and that he is coming across as not 'just a douche'. There will be much more of this interaction as the plot (Plot… what plot?!) moves on : )

Big thank you to my occasional beta Whenasinsilks for giving this the once-over.

Note: As stated before, if you need to keep track or refresh your memory of the contestants and their backstory/agenda, please refer to chapter 7.

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Sarah was still smarting from her conversation with Jareth when she descended the main staircase to get to the design studio. It was during her descent that she noticed a rather ostentatious portrait of Jareth looming fifteen feet above her. He was in full goblin regalia and had an imperious look about him. She poked her tongue out at the pompous image then paused as she noticed his attire.

"Excuse me," Sarah said to a goblin servant who was heading up the stairs.

"Yes Miss?" the goblin replied, somewhat surprised that one of the Labyrinth Winners was bothering to talk to her.

"Do you know what material this is?" Sarah pointed to the armour that Jareth was wearing under his cloak in the portrait.

"That would be dragon's hide Miss, senior members of the garrison wear it at official functions to show their allegiance to the Goblin King, as it is his fabric of choice when he wants to appear intimidating," the goblin replied before continuing on her way.

"Thanks," Sarah said, an idea forming as she gazed at the artist's impression of Jareth's clothes.

On entering the design studio, she hurried to her easel without a word to Susan or the others and began re-sketching in earnest, half an hour later Tariq approached her.

"How goes it Miss Williams, is there anything I can get you?" he asked.

"Tariq, how difficult would it be for me to get hold of some dragon's hide?" Sarah asked.

"Dragons hide? Are you preparing to go into battle?" Tariq queried.

"In a way, I thought it would make a good addition to my outfit, you know, symbolising the strength of the Goblin Army and reflecting on the King's prowess, as a Queen should," Sarah responded, pandering to Tariq's loyal nature.

"Indeed, what an idea! Although you will certainly need help in moulding it to your design, enchanted goblin thread will be necessary as the material itself is virtually indestructible," Tariq said.

"Could you see to it? I won't need much, a metre at most. I think I am also ready to meet with the goblin seamstresses to hand over my preliminary design."

"Leave it to me Miss Williams," Tariq said rushing off, excited at the Champion's idea. Following his conversation with His Majesty this morning, he was more determined than ever to have the Champion as Queen if the need arose. Not knowing exactly what his King was up to was not unusual, but in this instance the stakes were too high, and he felt it his duty to ensure that there was a viable option should whatever Jareth's plan to thwart the Council, fail. However, it was not just Miss Williams that needed winning around, he was convinced the Goblin King would need some encouragement also.

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"So Princess, how did lunch go with Voldemort?" Susan asked, waiting until they were back in their rooms before grilling Sarah on her 'date'.

"It was as dreadful as I thought it would be," Sarah responded from her position draped over the chaise lounge.

"What? Did he letch all over you and try to give you a roofied peach again?" Susan laughed.

"No, on the contrary, I really don't think he likes me at all. I'm pretty sure the reason I'm here is to pacify the High Council, or at least maintain the Goblin King's reputation with the High Council. I mean, what is a contest between the Labyrinth Winners if the Champion isn't involved? Plus, he sees the reason for the contest in the first place as my fault, so as far as he's concerned I should stop whining and play my part," Sarah said.

"How did he figure that one out?" Susan asked.

"The number of runners has got out of hand due to my not changing the summons in my original story, which made its way into the film script. He's made a deal with the High Council to get the summons changed, which they've agreed to if he selects a wife from the successful runners," Sarah explained.

"Oh, well what makes you think he doesn't like you? For someone who doesn't like you he sure watches you a lot," Susan said.

"He watches me, and you by the way, as he sees us as 'disruptive trouble makers'," Sarah replied.

"Oh, if you say so, but I bet if you offered it to him on a plate, he would definitely take you up on it," Susan suggested.

"Yeah, me and the rest of us girls!" Sarah quipped as she stood up from the chaise. "I'm going to take a shower before I head out."

"What are your plans?" Susan asked.

"I'm heading over to the Jolly Gobbler with Hoggle to meet up with an old friend, I would invite you but I'm not sure if you have permission to leave the castle. Jareth said it was OK for me to go, but get this, I have to 'be back by Midnight'" Sarah mimicked.

"Curfew? Gutted!" Susan laughed. "Count me out of this one, I think I make Hoggle nervous and it's obvious he wanted to talk to you privately earlier."

"Not sure how private a pub in the Goblin City is going to be, but I guess you're right," Sarah called as she disappeared through the doorway to her bedroom.

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"Cheers!" the three friends chorused as they clinked their tankards together.

"So where's Ludo? I thought he would want to join us," Sarah said before she took her very first ever gulp of goblin ale.

"He is over the other side of the Western Forest on the edge of the Kingdom, working on a deteriorated part of the border wall. Such is the life of the Kingdom Rock Caller," Sir Didymus answered.

"That's a shame, I hope I get to see him before I head back Above," Sarah said then nodded towards her drink. "This stuff's pretty good!"

Hoggle and Sir Didymus exchanged glances as Sarah was distracted by her drink.

"Above, fair maiden? Are you planning on leaving us already?" Didymus asked.

"Well not straight away. Although knowing the Goblin King, he's going to want to eliminate me from the competitions as soon as possible," Sarah said.

"What makes ye say that Sarah?" Hoggle asked.

"Let's just say during our lunch today he made it perfectly clear what he thought of me, and he's concerned how Susan and I are affecting the other girls," Sarah said, grimacing into her drink.

"Ye may drive him crackers Sarah, but there is no way he's going to boot ye out at the first opportunity, not with the trouble he took to get ye here," Hoggle said.

"We'll see, I have a great idea for the gown, if I am honest I'm actually finding this kind of fun. I mean, I get to see you guys, Susan is great and I get to know more about the Underground and the Court. It's not like there are going to be any repercussions as my family's concerns will have been taken care of, and I was not due back to work for a month as I was going to visit my folks," Sarah said, taking another long draft of her drink.

"Easy Sarah, this stuff has a habit of creeping up on ye, especially if ye haven't had it before," Hoggle warned, sipping his beverage. "Anyway, have ye given any thought to the fact ye might win? What happens then?"

"Trust me Hoggle, I am not going to win. Jareth is not going to have me for a wife, despite his annoying attempts at flirtation. He is just fucking with me and trying to wind me up," Sarah ranted and took another swallow, seemingly oblivious to Hoggle's warning. "I mean, he's hardly going to want to end up with a queen who can't stand him, and vice versa," Sarah added.

Hoggle looked over at Sir Didymus and raised his eyes in concern.

"Fair maiden, methinks you judge His Majesty a bit too harshly. After all, he can be generous," Didymus began.

"Urgh, if I hear that word one more time-" Sarah exclaimed in a near shout.

"But Sarah, look at what has become of you as a result of yer visit to the Underground all those years ago. Yer job, yer relative wealth, the chance at adventure. Do you regret knowing us?" Hoggle asked.

"Of course not Hoggle," Sarah stressed.

"Well none of that would have happened if Jareth hadn't of took yer brother away, now would it?" Hoggle said, slapping his hand on the table to affirm his point.

"I guess, but that doesn't mean he isn't a dick. He has us competing for his favour like some transvestite sultan in a mythical harem," Sarah grumped, draining her tankard and slapping it down to match Hoggle's action.

"What's this?" said a voice directly behind Sarah.

"Oh, it's you," Sarah said in disappointment when she saw Couric.

"May I join you?" Couric began as he took the chair next to Sarah.

"Actually-" began Hoggle.

"Elmo!" shouted Couric, "a round of drinks for my friends here."

"-Er that would be fine," about faced Hoggle, "Very kind of ye."

Sarah rolled her eyes at how easy Hoggle could be won over and turned her attention to Couric.

"So what brings you here on this fine evening?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, I am residing in the castle whilst the competitions are going on. Wouldn't miss this for the world. This place is my usual watering hole when I am in residence, isn't that right, Hoggle? Or can I call you 'Can't hold it'?" Couric asked, laughing at the now scowling dwarf as Elmo trotted over, hidden under a large tray containing four tankards of goblin ale.

"Thanks Elmo," Couric said, taking the tankards and dropping the coins onto the tray which rattled loudly, echoing through the poor barman's ears.

"No problem," squeaked the small red fur ball as he scurried back to the bar.

"Haven't I seen him somewhere before?" Sarah asked.

"So what's this about a transvestite sultan?" Couric leaned forward to reclaim Sarah's attention, subjecting her to an intense stare whilst he took a slow draft of his ale.

"Oh you know, this whole debacle is a bit degrading, I can't stand these types of shows back home. And it's a non-starter for me, it's not as if we like one another, so it just feels a bit hyp," Sarah hiccupped, "hypocritical and a waste of time."

"Don't you want to win, Sarah?" Couric prompted.

"As I have already explained to my friends here," Sarah gave an extravagant wave towards Didymus and Hoggle that nearly unseated her, "that isn't going to happen, due to mine and Jareth's… history," Sarah laughed and got started on her second drink with gusto, not noticing that Hoggle and Didymus were still only half way through their first.

"OK, so if you are so certain that you would not be chosen, nor would you want to be of course," Couric quickly added at her glare, "how about a bit of fun?"

"How d'you mean?" Sarah squinted.

"Well, you seem to be convinced he is disinterested in you, so, let's make him notice you," suggested Couric.

"Oh he's aware I'm here," Sarah said narrowing her eyes, "he watches me through his balls like some geriatric peeping twat and when I'm with him, he keeps staring at me and being suggestive just to try and fuck with my mind."

"So, fight fire with fire Champion, treat him to his own medicine," Couric said. "I assure you he won't know what hit him if you decided to turn your charm on him. After all, if he is taking advantage of your discomfort around him and that is giving him some perverse pleasure, just turn the tables. I would pay very good money to see that." Couric said.

"WHAT? You mean flirt?" Sarah said.

"Oh nothing so obvious, don't flirt, TEMPT!" Couric said, staring at Sarah directly with a sly smile on his face.

"Oh!" Sarah said, it must be due to the drink that she was even listening to this, although it's true it had never occurred to her to take control of the situation in that way. "Well, what's in it for you Couric?" not trusting this 'well intentioned' advice for a second.

"Immortality can get a bit dull at times, and your arrival here is considered to be anything but dull. Jareth plays his cards too close to his chest, and I think you are the one person who can best him, get him to show his hand as it were. Let's just say there is a sweepstake going on as to what will happen during these competitions, and I think you, Sarah, are the wild card in Jareth's carefully laid plans," Couric confided.

"I am not going to tempt Jareth just for the Court's entertainment!" Sarah slurred, waving a finger in Couric's face.

"Not for our entertainment Sarah, but for the game. You can come out of this situation victorious, by showing each and every other runner why you are the Champion, and you can show Jareth that he is not the only one who can, what was it, 'mind fuck' people," Couric encouraged, glancing over at Hoggle and Didymus and giving a quick shake of his head when Hoggle was about to say something. Sarah was too busy staring into her tankard with a sneaky smile on her face, picturing the moment when she showed them all.

"Yeah, you know what, you're surprisingly right Couric. I mean, it is partly my fault that the Labyrinth is getting bogged down with runners," Sarah snorted "Get it BOGGED, hahahaha" she cackled leaning backwards and suddenly disappearing with a thud.

"Sarah are y'alright?" Hoggle jumped up to help her. Couric was laughing and shaking his head whilst Sir Didymus assisted Sarah back into her chair.

"I see you have discovered the fast-acting effects of goblin ale, Champion!" Couric sniggered into his own tankard.

"Do you know what? I am going to sort all of this out, I'm going to get the summons changed, win those challenges and show Jareth just who's Champion around here!" she crowed, standing on her chair and raising her tankard in the air, "Who's with me?" she cried.

Couric jumped up and clashed tankards with her "That's my girl."

"NOT your anything," Sarah said with a sickly sweet smile, downing the rest of her drink.

Couric laughed uproariously and motioned for Hoggle and Didymus to join in. They also toasted to Sarah's success, just realising that Couric had managed to achieve with Sarah, in a very short time, something they were struggling to do, getting her to take an active part in the competitions and court Jareth's attention. Although they were hoping her reasons would have been more romantically intentioned.

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Jareth entered the Jolly Gobbler pub with a purposeful step and a furious countenance. There, before him, dancing on the bar and singing loudly were Sarah, Couric, Hoggle and Sir Didymus; encouraging the rest of the patrons of the pub to join in on the chorus of some ridiculous song which apparently, everyone seemed to know but him. He locked eyes with Sarah just as everyone joined in at an ear-splitting volume

You're so vain

I bet you think this song is about you

You're so vain

I bet you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you!

Jareth bristled and a wind rose through the establishment causing everyone's singing to tail off instantly.

"GK my man! So cool of you to join us, have a drink. ELMO! A drink for my main man here," Sarah cried waving her tankard in the air as she spun around and fell off the back of the bar.

Couric and the rest of the bar burst into loud laughter, but Jareth closed the distance in a second and leapt over the bar. "Sarah, are you hurt?" he asked bending low.

"Hey twinkle tights, why are there three of you?" she asked from her prostrate position between two kegs of ale.

Jareth growled low and raised his hands to his brow "Sarah! You were told to return to the castle by midnight, just look at the state of you!"

"What are you going on about, I've still got half an hour!" Sarah said pointing up to the clock which was showing the little hand pointing north and the big hand pointing south.

"That is a thirteen-hour clock, you imbecile girl!" Jareth snapped.

"OH! oh, well, why the hell would you give me a midnight curfew in a thirteen-hour day? What kind of stupid fucking logic is that!" she cried.

People gasped around them on hearing someone address the King in such a manner. Jareth glared at her then turned his furious gaze on Couric. "Is this your doing?" he snapped.

"Don't look at me, I was just watching out for her, I didn't realise she was on a curfew," Couric said, trying not to laugh as Sarah was unsuccessfully trying to pull herself up from the floor, crashing down onto a crate and causing more damage.

Jareth rolled his eyes skyward and bent down to pick Sarah up. She shrieked then started laughing as she saw Hoggle hiding behind a barrel, head down with his arse up in the air.

"My round next time guys!" Sarah called to everyone and then began singing loudly again

Well you had me several years ago

When I was still quite naive

Jareth glared at Couric and the others, daring them to say something about the song, before storming out of the pub still carrying Sarah. As soon as they appeared outside another loud chorus of the song began again and Jareth snarled and glared down at the girl in his arms, about to deliver the worst telling off Sarah Williams would ever hear, that is, he would have, if the damned girl wasn't unconscious and snuggling into his chest like a baby rabbit.

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AN: Almost at the challenge but this is a short one that I wanted to get out quickly, couldn't resist writing an episode of Sarah on the lash in the Goblin City.

Please review, much to my horror I am discovering that I'm a bit of a review loving fiend!

References:

You're So Vain performed and written by Carly Simon (1972)

Recommendations:

Goblins Roasting on an Open Fire by ALadyofStardust – because there are only 61 sleeps til Christmas!