Chapter 9: Dirty Little Secrets
(Katniss POV)
The next morning dawned overcast and early, and especially early for a still sleepy Katniss. She had tossed and turned for most of the night on her thin mattress, unable to make her brain stop going a million miles a minute. Over and over she replayed the kiss with Peeta in her mind, and each time it made her squirm. All too soon the wakeup call was blasting over the camp-wide speakers to rouse the staff. Katniss floated through getting ready for the day, donning her 2nd 'Camp Panem' t-shirt and khaki shorts from the day before. All she could think of as she tied the end of her braid were those striking blue eyes and the way the moonlight glinted off of them.
Crap. Last night, she thought.
She didn't know why she had opened up to Peeta like that. Hell, she had known Gale practically her entire life and she had never opened up to him like that. She had unloaded on him and spilled every secret she had – her father dying, Prim going without things, her feelings of inadequacy….everything. As she walked to the breakfast hall with her bunkmates, she tried to figure out where she had gone wrong and lost every filter she had the night before. She had never opened up to anyone like she had with him she realized. Grabbing her tray, she waited impatiently in line to get her food. Once seated, she could only scowl into her oatmeal and think.
Why was Peeta different? She peeked over her shoulder towards the table where he usually sat. He was there, but barely. His blue eyes were large and unfocused on the food in front of him, and he was shredding his bagel into bits.
Huh, she thought. He must destroy bread and pastries when he's thinking.
Katniss turned back to her bland oatmeal and bit her lip. She wasn't hungry at all, but judging from the dirty look Sae was shooting her all the way from the lunch line she had best eat. She took a bite and swallowed, letting the mush slide down her throat. She felt sick. Only half the counselors were there yet; Effie and Haymitch had also yet to make their daily appearance.
She had no idea what on earth possessed her to grab Peeta the night before and kiss him. Hard. Maybe it was the fact that he said all the right things, seemed genuine, and at least looked like he legitimately listened to what she was saying without trying to get into her pants. He had said it himself – he accepted her invite to be friends only, and that's what he was doing by letting her vent – being a good friend. She clenched her napkin in her hand and rolled her eyes at herself. Since when was being sincere and non-threatening sexual napalm for her?
"Are you alright?" Madge asked her quietly. Her eyes fell to the napkin clenched in the palm of her hand, and Katniss quickly dropped it.
"Um…didn't sleep well."
"Ok," Madge replied lightly, clearly not buying it but not wanting to push. Katniss gave her a 'thank you' look and tried to force down another spoonful of oatmeal. Jackie simply took a sip of her juice and offered her a nervous smile. Katniss returned the gesture to the fox-faced girl and tried to focus on her breakfast.
As hard as she tried, the same thought kept drifting through her mind. I kissed Peeta.
I kissed Peeta hard.
I kissed Peeta like I meant it.
I kissed him and I liked it.
What the hell got into me?
She knew the answer to that without having to think very hard. After only two days of knowing him, her mind had stored away images she had chastised herself for already having.
Tousled, wavy blonde hair that was constantly disheveled.
Kind, bright, pleading blue eyes…
Thick, tan, and muscled forearms…
A taught, muscularly broad back…
And a butt that jeans should be proud to hang off of….
"You're….sure you're okay?" Madge whispered again. Katniss nodded and looked back down at her tray.
A sobering thought hit her as the rest of the counselors filed in to eat. What if Peeta told everyone in his bunk what happened? What if it got around that she was already fooling around with someone? She watched with horror as Cato elbowed Marvel in the lunch line, who turned and looked at the table where she was sitting. Cato snickered before trying to get Thresh in on the joke. Thankfully, the large boy was too concerned with what Sae was ladling into a bowl for him. Marvel glanced back at her table and grinned before shaking his head.
Oh no, she thought. He did tell!
She tried her best to slow her heart rate and not turn beet red. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction. They could talk all they wanted, but they had no proof. She glanced at Peeta again who was still pulling at his bagel like it was his job. He didn't appear particularly smug or proud of himself as she had expected him to, but she wasn't exactly sure what to expect.
A loud voice at the side door distracted her as she watched Effie and Haymitch walk in. Well, Effie paraded and Haymitch dragged his feet. He ran a hand through his tousled hair and made a beeline for the coffee as Effie flitted around and greeted everyone with warm smiles.
Rue sat down and joined them, her brown eyes wide. "Not sure what they're fighting about, but those two go at it like cats and dogs!" she exclaimed in a hushed whisper as she opened her milk. Katniss snorted to herself and ducked her head as Cato and Marvel walked by. She frowned as she watched Jackie slide further down in her seat.
"Love is in the air!" Cato snickered as he grabbed his tray and left the lunch line. Katniss's heart stopped. He wasn't talking about her, was he? She watched as he eyed her table again, a shit-eating grin gracing his features. She looked over her shoulder and shot daggers at Peeta until he looked up and met her panicky gaze. He held it for a split second before looking quickly away.
Weird, she thought. Another glance at Cato and his joyful sneer made her stomach do a nervous twist. Suddenly images of Peeta in his bunk, surrounded by all of the guy counselors and dishing on what happened the night before came to her mind. Horrified, she pictured the news spreading like wildfire through the camp. Even though all they had done was kiss, she was sure she would be absolutely mortified. What if he had told? Or worse, what if he had elaborated on what they did?
"Well Marvel, aren't you going to sit by your lady love this morning?" Cato boomed loudly, thumping him on the back. Marvel rushed by their table, casting Jackie a sideways wink. Jackie growled to herself and sank further down into her chair.
Katniss' eyes went wider than saucers before she could think to control it. Everyone at their table turned to the fox-faced redhead who was suddenly tongue-tied.
"I…I can't believe it," she muttered, her face beet red. Katniss felt horrible for the poor girl – she had obviously been caught in a compromising position with Marvel the night before. Her cabin mates begged her for information, but Jackie only shrugged. "Cato caught us making out behind their cabin…it wasn't that big of a deal."
Katniss peeked over at Peeta's table where the boys were all talking and laughing animatedly. Cato was doing an impression of Jackie's horrified face after he caught them behind the cabin, and Marvel was doing his best to feign embarrassment. Peeta was smiling to himself, playing along. His eyes met hers for a brief second and she exhaled softly.
Peeta hadn't told anyone.
If he had, they would clearly be making fun of her right now, not Jackie. With a tiny smile, she finished her breakfast and headed outside to start the day.
X0x0x0x0x0x0x
"Ah, young love," Effie giggled at their morning brief. The counselors were all supposed to meet with Effie and Haymitch after breakfast each day to talk about the day's activities. Since they still had a few more days without campers, they were still focusing on cleaning up the camp for their arrival. That day they would be working on cleaning up the indoors building since it was supposed to rain that morning. Judging from the storm clouds that loomed in the distance, Katniss guessed it would as well.
"Did you see the way she blushed at breakfast?" Glimmer hissed in front of her. Katniss watched as Clove rolled her eyes.
"At least she had the sense to be embarrassed. That kid is a goon," Clove snapped.
"I know, right?"
Horrified, Katniss looked away. That could have easily been her they were discussing. She would have been humiliated if Peeta treated her the same way Marvel had treated Jackie.
But he hadn't, she reminded herself. He obviously hadn't told anyone. Another wave of relief washed over her. She hated being the center of attention, and that was definitely what Marvel had made Jackie that day.
"Shut up, Effie. These kids don't give a crap," Haymitch grunted, clapping his hands together once. "Just a few more days before the campers get up here. Make sure you make this place nice for them. And try to keep it in your pants the best you can," he added as an afterthought, his blue eyes scanning the group. A few people shifted uncomfortably but no one said anything else.
Except for Effie.
"Oh Haymitch, don't be so crass! These lovely children don't want to hear that kind of talk!"
Haymitch rolled his eyes and patted his pockets like he was looking for his flask.
"Now boys are girls, we're going to be cleaning up the indoor classrooms today. Every so often it's good to have these prepared for when we have rainy days or children with allergies or even sunburn!" she laughed. "So please do your best to help me those of you who are in my group. Half of you will go do repairs with Haymitch, and half will work on stocking up the supplies with me. Now come along…"
Katniss watched as Effie scanned her group of the day, her face falling as she slid to a halt. "Oh, I will need some boys…any volunteers?"
Katniss nearly choked as she heard a voice. "I volunteer! I'll go," Peeta called out from the back of the group. He moved to the front where Effie stood and avoided Katniss' glare. Gale and Thresh stepped forward to her relief, and soon Thom and Marvel had joined them as well.
"Of course he wants to go with his girlfriend," Cato laughed. Marvel punched him in the arm and gave Jackie an apologetic glance that she ignored. Instead she leaned on Madge and listened as Haymitch and Effie divvied out the rest of the day's activities. After getting swatted away for trying to fix Haymitch's collar, Effie simply laughed it off and urged her group to follow her. Haymitch loaded into his golf cart and barked at the rest of the boys to follow him.
Once inside the activity building (which was really just an old log cabin with three classrooms) Katniss was put to work. She and Rue were stocking the craft area full of yarn, beads, sheets of art foam, and anything else that could be used for an indoor activity. They worked out a way to divide it all up between the rooms and keep it organized. Katniss watched out of the corner of her eye as Peeta began drawing a jungle scene on the large blank canvas that stretched across the back of the room. So far he had trees, vines, a few monkeys, and the beginnings of a tiger creeping through the forest.
"Wow…boy knows his way around an art room," Rue observed thoughtfully. Her brown eyes flicked up to meet Katniss' and she looked away quickly.
"Guess he does."
"Mmmhmmm," Rue sang under her breath.
As the morning progressed, she was proud that she had barely taken another look at Peeta. He was engrossed in his artwork anyway and she didn't want to bother him. Madge and Rue were working in the same room, but their group had been split up throughout the building. Effie was walking from room to room, occasionally calling out orders, but for the most part they were alone. She shook the thought and pushed it from her mind as she busied herself with unwrapping color after color of construction paper and loading into the shelves. They worked in quiet harmony, the only sound the crinkle of paper and the squeak of the large permanent marker that Peeta was using.
Katniss chanced a look behind her. Peeta was working diligently, stretching up to draw a tall tree on the canvas in front of him. He was wearing a white t-shirt today, and it was very thin and worn with use. It allowed her to see every bulge of muscle as he stretched and bended to draw. His firm arm stretched out to the side as he dragged the marker along the paper, his forearms showing off his sinewy yet stocky arms. When he reached up, his shirt followed. Katniss felt her cheeks turn a little pink as she spied the top of his underwear.
Briefs? She asked herself. Or I guess they could be boxer briefs. Hm. Bet that wouldn't be hard on the eyes. She laughed to herself at her sudden lapse in control as she began organizing beads by color and placing them in the right sorters.
They went on for another hour before a paper airplane sailed down to the floor where she was kneeling. Frowning, she grabbed it and almost crumpled it up until Peeta coughed to himself. He eyed her cautiously, making a quick motion for her to open it.
Can we talk?
His handwriting was neat yet quirky and the words were quickly burned into her mind. She grabbed the closest marker to her and quickly scribbled a note.
Not sure if that's a good idea. I'm sorry.
She slid it across the floor after making sure Madge and Rue were busy working. Peeta paused, picking it up quickly and turning his back to the front of the room. He read it and scribbled a response.
I didn't tell anyone. I saw your face at breakfast. I'm not Marvel. I don't kiss and tell. Promise.
Her response this time was short and sweet.
I don't usually kiss.
She looked around again before sliding it over to him on the desk top. She returned to unwrapping stacks of paper and putting them in their bins.
Meet me tonight? Outside your cabin?
She sighed. Glancing up, she noticed his blue eyes pleading with her as he pretended to sketch out a jungle leaf. His mural was coming along nicely, she noticed. With a sigh, she slid the paper one last time.
Fine. 9pm.
He read the note and grinned.
"Fine" he mouthed back. She watched as his slightly chapped lips formed the word and she felt herself melt a little. Suddenly all she could think about was the way they had felt on her own the night before. A blush crept up in her cheeks and a warmth spread through her at the thought. She stared at his kind blue eyes that were once again silently pleading for her to not to reject him. She hadn't meant to hurt him by shooting him down, but she did need to focus on work that summer.
But it would be a long summer if she only did that.
When is it my turn? She thought. Immediately she felt guilty – Prim had less than she did at the moment and had never complained. She had never whined or made a big deal about the fact that she had to go without things in life that Katniss had had thanks to their father. But Katniss had sacrificed a lot for her sister, and so she didn't feel bad about her next answer to Peeta.
I'll meet you behind my cabin. Don't tell. This is our little secret, Mellark.
So many of you were gunning for this to be a secret romance - you got it! You've also been sending me some great stories about camp, and I will definitely try to incorporate as many of them as I can since I never actually went to summer camp.
Thank you to EverlarkRecs for giving this fic a shoutout on Tumblr! Thanks guys!
I'll try to update again tomorrow - Please review! Reviews are wonderful motivation to get my ass in gear : )
Up Next: That Crafty bitch Glimmer is up to something, a late night walk, and a jealous Katniss.
