Chapter Nine: Shattered Hi again! *big grins* Welcome, welcome, to the ninth chapter.... of my Dramione story!!! :D Okay, SO..... Well, I hope you all are glad to see this, thank you to everyone who kindly reviewed Chapter 8, a castle-full of thanks! Heh heh... get it, castle-full, and Hogwarts... alright, that was totally lame, you just gotta pity me. lol NOW I am going to let you go, so get going, and I hope you like it!
The next morning, Hermione had just gone down to the Griffendor common room when the first sign of what she feared most became clear.
There were six or seven Griffendor students milling about, two in which were Ginny and Harry, and when Hermione came into view, everyone stopped and stared at her. Harry had a blank look on his face when he looked at Hermione, and Ginny looked nervous.
"Oh, shit," she mumbled under her breath.
"It's Malfoy's girl!" one jeered, making Hermione's heart flop.
"The sneaky git!" a second-year hissed.
"Hermione," Ginny said loudly. "Why don't you come with us?"
There were hushed whispers as Hermione slowly traveled past them, heart thumping, and she swallowed hard. Feeling her face burn in utter shame and refusing to meet Harry's eyes,
Hermione felt Ginny grasp her arm and gently tug her out of the common room.
"Everyone knows about your little adventure last night," Ginny murmured in Hermione's ear. She cringed, and felt like crying.
"Oh, Merlin... Ginny, I- did Snape-?"
"Yes."
Hermione's throat clogged, and she felt like she couldn't breath. Everything was suddenly crumbling apart very quickly, and very violently, and all she could do was stand and watch it shatter, helplessly...
Hermione suddenly wondered if this was what if felt like to be Harry Potter, to enter a room and everyone grows quiet and stares, muttering things. Because that was exactly what happened in each corridor she passed through with Ginny tugging her along. She just stared at the floor, unable to look into their hostile faces.
It seemed that every student of every House- Griffendor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and especially Slytherin knew about her and Draco, and everyone was obviously shocked and furious by her actions. Draco was well-hated by nearly every student, and to see Hermione, who used to be rather well-liked by the Houses, hook up with him, well... it wasn't pretty.
Finally, Hermione was dragged away from their stares and whispers and she was out in the court-yard with Ginny. It was a cold morning, so not many students were out, a fact that deeply relieved Hermione.
At last Ginny released her, and Hermione heard crunching foot-steps behind her, realizing that Harry was on their heels.
"What happened last night?" Ginny finally asked.
Hermione swallowed hard and wrung her hands, staring at the grass. She couldn't answer.
"Hermione," Ginny urged her.
She looked up at Ginny, eyes watering. "Alright, I- I met him in Snape's closet, okay? We- we- you know- but Snape- he intruded, I don't think he realized-"
"So the other night, then," Harry spoke, for the first time, his voice flat. "When you found Ron at Snape's closet and Malfoy happened to drop by, you were really planning on doing it that night, but it got screwed up by Ron?"
Hermione blinked rapidly. "Yeah," she croaked.
There was a long silence that followed, and no one seemed sure of what to say.
"Where's Ron?" she whispered.
Ginny exchanged a look with Harry. "Well, you- you see, Snape told Slytherin first, and Slytherin told the rest of the Houses, so- so by breakfast everyone knew, and when we all found out- well- Ron, he... well-"
"He exploded," Harry said coldly. "Completely flew off the handle, and he's sitting on his bed in the dorm right now."
Hermione felt a tear slip down her cheek, and she swallowed a sob. "Is he angry?"
Harry cleared his throat. "He was pretty ticked at first, yeah, but that wore off. Now he's just shocked. According to Neville, he won't stop muttering, 'What does she see in him?'"
Hermione flinched.
"So you are in love with... Malfoy... then?" Harry finally asked, his words dropping in the air like stones. Hermione took a quick breath and bit her lip.
"Yes," she said softly, voice cracking.
Silence again.
Hermione let out a yelp when she realized she was sawing down on her lip, and the sharp tang of blood was now in her mouth. She rubbed it, and finally looked up at Ginny and Harry. They were staring back at her, faces blank.
"Ginny admitted that she knew about this crush. So did Luna," Harry said gravely, clearing his throat.
Hermione swallowed the taste of blood and stared earnestly at Harry. "Yes, she... she has been so good to me, she kept it secret to help me..."
"I just- why Malfoy? We've hated him for all these years, and now you up and love him?" Harry asked harshly, hands in his pockets.
Hermione swayed slightly, but no one reached over to help her. "I- I know. It's raving mad, point made. I just- Harry, I- I can't put my thumb on it. Draco is just- perfect. I know that no one else understands it, but we love each other."
"Draco?" Harry repeated, raising a brow.
"Love each other?" Ginny repeated, crossing her arms and looking very uncomfortable.
"Where is Draco... anyways?" Hermione asked quietly, heart still racing.
Ginny blinked, and once again exchanged a look with Harry. "Hermione- I think you're wrong about that last part."
Hermione forgot her spinning mind for a moment to frown at Ginny quizzically. "What?"
"That bit about loving each other. Hermione... Malfoy's broken up, he's been in the bathroom ever since the whole Hall jeered at him at breakfast. Hasn't shown his face, everyone's shocked. Especially Snape and Slytherin. They all seem to have shattered their little Prince's crown."
"No," Hermione croaked, horrified. "They- they're shunning him?"
Ginny kicked at a rock. "Pretty much."
"No! Oh- Ginny, what have we done? Why did I do this? If only I- I hadn't..." Hermione began to sob, and Ginny reached over hesitantly, hugging her.
"That's kind of what we're wondering," Harry mumbled, and Ginny scowled at him, clearly thinking you are not helping!
"What am I going to do?" Hermione gasped, tears trickling down her face in wild streams now.
Ginny narrowed her eyes, face torn between pity and unease. "Well.... if.... if I were you... I'd go find Malfoy. Try to set things straight with him."
Hermione rubbed at her face hastily, feeling shame and anger and embarrassment burning in her stomach all at once, making her feel sick. Her head was throbbing with a head-ache now, and it didn't help that her mind was spinning. Shit, love really does hurt. "You think that's what I should do?" she asked hoarsely, stepping back and hastily rubbing at her eyes again.
Ginny nodded slowly, and Harry gave the slightest nod as well, looking twice as conflicted as Ginny. Hermione was grateful and relieved that Harry didn't seem mad, that he was at least talking to her- Ron, on the other hand.... She shuddered.
"I- okay. Okay, I will. Wh- where.... where is he?" Hermione stammered, feeling more pathetic by the second.
"Um, I'm- I'm not honestly sure, you could try Harry's map," Ginny suggested in a hollow voice.
Hermione blinked at Harry, her eyelashes wet, and he shrugged.
"It doesn't matter!" she said softly. "I- I'll find him on my own. I'll get through this." Ginny had backed off to stand next to Harry again, and both of her friends looked concerned for her.
"Thank you," Hermione murmured, staring anxiously at their faces. "I'm so lucky to have friends like you two, and-"
"Just go," Harry mumbled, a little red in the face.
Hermione nodded quickly and took a step back, drawing a shaky breath. "Yes, yes I- good idea. Thank you!" she cried over her shoulder before wheeling around and beginning to trek up the hill, filled with a new power to set things right again.
She finally made her way over the courtyard and hesitantly stepped back into the front hall, where many more students were milling about and talking loudly. Nobody stopped when they saw her, but instead threw her nasty, hostile looks, and briskly set off, away from her.
Hermione swallowed hard, feeling her confidence flicker a little, before walking through the crowd. If she hadn't felt so miserable, she might have been amused to see the obvious jealousy and loathing on Pansy Parkinson's face, who was standing with Crabbe and Goyle in front of the doors to the Great Hall, where everyone was eating and talking noisily.
Taking the sign that Crabbe and Goyle were not with their beloved master, Hermione quickened her pace as she scanned the Slytherin crowd, trying to ignore the cold looks shot at her from every direction. Her heart thudded with disappointment- Draco wasn't there.
Turning on her heel, Hermione marched out of the Great Hall and decided to check the bathrooms. Wondering which one he could possibly be in, Hermione began to feel hopeless. There were so many bathrooms in Hogwarts, she was dreaming if she thought she could find him in-
She stopped suddenly, nearly making a first-year crash into her. Of course! Why was she acting so thick? He was in Myrtle's bathroom, where no one could find him!
Racing down the corridors now, she breathlessly counted them until she made an abrupt turn and pelted down the hallway where she knew Myrtle's bathroom was in. Usually it was empty, but today there was several students passing down it, talking quietly.
Throwing herself at the door, Hermione found herself, yet again, in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
She looked around quickly. "Draco?" she called out nervously, realizing that she could see nor hear anyone.
There was complete silence for a few seconds, and then a pointed-faced boy with pale blond hair stepped out from behind the row of stalls, eying her with a blank face.
"Granger?" he growled, and Hermione blinked at him, wonder why he had reverted back to her last name.
She took a step towards Draco uneasily, and he took a step back, staring furiously at her. "Do you know what you've done to me?" he bellowed. "The whole school hates me, Snape's disowned me, and the bulk of Slytherin are disgusted, not to mention my father, who has no doubt gotten an owl from Snape by now... he'll bury me alive, the family name is dishonored-"
"How could you?" Hermione cried, feeling her throat burn. "How dare you! You're acting like I'm some sort of disgusting ogre who tricked you into kissing me!"
"As far as my father's concerned, a Mudblood is a disgusting ogre! And did you? Did you put a spell on me? A Love Potion?" Draco asked wildly, and Hermione blinked, feeling a tear drip down her cheek. He was hurting her, more than any slap or kick or spell could hurt. He was acting like they never had anything special, that she'd tricked him.
"I don't believe you," she said softly, her eyes beginning to blaze. "I would never do that to you, Draco! I love you!"
"You're a fool! We never had anything! And- and stop calling me Draco!" he snarled, whipping past her.
Hermione spun around, staring after him in shock. "No," she whispered, voice rising. "Stop! Please, stop!"
Draco did not stop, so Hermione began to run after him, and grabbed his arm just before he left the bathroom, and wrenched him around.
"Please, stop it. You're hurting me. So everyone knows- we both knew it couldn't be a secret forever. We can learn to live with it, because what he had was unique! And you're destroying it!" Hermione cried, and Draco stared blankly down at her, his gray eyes swirling.
He was quiet for a moment before tugging out of her grip and turning to completely face her. He seemed to be calling up the right words as his pale jaw slowly opened. "I never cared about you, Granger," he said quietly, coldly. "I was just using you, and ready to dump you at any moment. I never planned for it to get this far, and I didn't think you'd be so convinced."
Hermione felt like he'd slapped her; she staggered back, face white. "Th- that's not true," she croaked. "Draco, you're lying!"
Draco just stared at her coldly. "If I were lying," he said coolly, "then I probably wouldn't be able to do this." He whipped around and smashed the bathroom door open, stalking out, and leaving Hermione locked in place, eyes glazed.
For several long moments, she couldn't move. She just stood there, and felt like her mind was a broke recorder. It wasn't accepting this shattering realization, it flat-out refused to accept that Draco was telling the truth, that it had all been a lie, all along.
There was no way. It wasn't possible. He had been so sweet- so convincing. Had it really all been a lie? The cold firmness in Draco's parting words had been so patronizing, so easy, that Hermione felt her chest heave.
It wasn't a lie. He had been using her all along.
Her mind spiraling into nothingness, Hermione staggered back, heart racing, and tripped, falling back onto the sinks. She collapsed into a heap, sobbing. Her noisy, pathetic cries echoed around the lonely bathroom, and Hermione found herself crying yet again in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
There came a sudden high voice, but Hermione didn't bother to look up and see who it was. She already knew. She'd been expecting her, in fact.
"I warned you," the voice trilled, coming closer to Hermione as the ghost of a young girl floated down to sit next to Hermione. "I warned you that love is for fools, but no, you're the great
Hermione Granger, why would you listen to a dead girl's advise?"
"Go away, Myrtle," Hermione croaked, face buried in her knees.
"This is exactly what happens. I can't tell you how many girls I see rushing in here after a sad confrontation with their beloved, sobbing their eyes out. Each one, I told them not to give their heart away to a stupid boy. And each one ignored me, and they paid."
Hermione's mind involuntarily flitted back to those memories of the first time she'd come sobbing into Myrtle's bathroom, and the dead girl had, indeed, warned her not to fall in love with
Draco.
She had been right after all.
"I'm so stupid," Hermione said thickly, voice muffled a bit, as her unruly hair was completely covering her face, and her face was tucked sloppily between her knees. "How could I have ever thought that Draco liked me?"
"Well, there's one thing we can agree on," Myrtle replied conversationally, who was rather enjoying herself at the turn of the tables. For the second time, it was Hermione crying, and Myrtle standing over her, rather amused.
"Just go drown again, would you?" Hermione asked wretchedly, breaking into another round of sobs. She absentmindedly wondered if classes had started, and if her first bell teacher was wondering where she was.
"Well, excuse me!" Myrtle exclaimed, sounded very offended. "First of all, I didn't drown, it was that horrid Basilisk that killed me. And secondly, you have no idea how offensive that sounds to a dead person-"
"Sorry," Hermione mumbled, lifting her head and rubbing at her eyes. "It doesn't matter. I'm just plain rubbish."
"You aren't rubbish," Myrtle replied, surprising Hermione in her veil of misery. "You're a smart girl- I haven't forgotten how you managed to made that potion in your second year. But you were pretty thick to ignore my advice..."
Hermione got up abruptly, and took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm leaving."
Myrtle looked rather crestfallen. "Oh, are you? Well, I guess you feel better, then, so that's good."
"I don't feel better," Hermione said harshly as her mind began to wildly spin. "Myrtle... Myrtle, I can't stand it anymore... I can't live like this."
"Don't be silly, girl, you're just over-reacting. You'll look back on this as a married old witch and laugh," Myrtle replied flatly.
Hermione was trembling. No, she couldn't see that. She couldn't see much anymore. She didn't know much, either. The whole time... it was a lie.
No, Draco had ripped her heart to pieces. Destroyed it beyond repair. Shattered her whole life, it seemed, so that she was unable to rebuild it. This pain.... she felt overwhelmed with it, and she knew it would never abide.
Her crazed mind began to flash with ideas. She had to get rid of it. This pain was unbearable. She couldn't stand it. How? How could she get rid of the pain? It was eating her insides, chewing her up, ripping her apart, it felt like a thousand needles, like her ribs were being snapped one at a time, like a claw had been taken to her heart...
In a daze, Hermione began to stagger away from the bathroom, eyes glazed.
"Hey!" Myrtle said indignantly. "Where are you going? You can't go anywhere in a state like this-"
"Myrtle," Hermione said very clearly, but she didn't sound like Hermione.
"Yes?" Myrtle asked, blinking.
Hermione's heart was racing faster than it ever had before, and a crazy idea was planted in Hermione's mind. She knew how to get rid of this pain. Of course... how could she have not thought of it before?
"You aren't going to be lonely for much longer," Hermione told her, and a little grin washed over her face. Yes, yes, perfect- it was brilliant, she would be free of the pain... she could forget
Draco... forget everything... The thought of losing this raging, stinging, screaming pain almost made Hermione happy.
"What's that supposed to me?" Myrtle asked, mystified and a bit concerned. She had never seen Hermione act like this before.
But Hermione did not respond as she slowly began making her way from the bathroom, mind buzzing.
Of course, what a brilliant idea....What's Hermione doing? What's her brilliant plan? Check back in a few days, the final chapter (yes, the final chapter) will arrive...
Teaser: "If you hurt her, I swear to God I'll blast your head off!" Ron spat.
