I do not own VA or its charachters. It all belongs to Richelle Mead.

Chapter 9

Dimitri's POV

I see Alex whisper something into Rose's ear, and she smiles. He better not be propositioning her. I tell Alberta I have to follow them. She told me it was better to leave it alone, but that is my Roza. She ultimately told me it was my decision, and to use my brain instead of my fists.

I follow them back to her dorm room and I see them kiss. I literally can't breathe. If I didn't know 100% for sure that I wanted to be with Rose. I did now. Someone else touching her that way made me feel like I was going to die. It wasn't only jealousy (even though trust me I was completely jealous), I love her with everything in my body. It took everything in me, to stay where I was. But I knew if he goes in her room, not only will I break the door down, I will break his head in. Relative or not.

There kiss ends and Roza opens her door. She looks like she is inviting him in. I start to get up from my position but he is shaking his head and talking to her. I think good he has some sense.

A second goes by and I see her arms pull his wrists into her room and I start to get up to walk down the hall way, but he comes back out a few minutes later. Clearly flustered. I hide behind a wall and wait for him to pass.

I can't believe what I am seeing. My Roza is with my cousin. This is not how its supposed to be. I am so jealous and so furious. I have to talk to her. It can't wait. I knock on her door.

Rose POV

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"What are you doing answering the door in your underwear? and who did you think it was at your door?"

He just looks at me.

I just stand there in my Black strapless lace bra and thong staring at him. He starts to walk in. I back up he shuts the door and locks it.

I sit on my bed and he leans against the door. Still staring at my body. Finally he speaks.

"Roza, what are you thinking? You are drunk and what were you about to do with Alex?" He asks me.

I feel like my emotions are at the breaking point. I try to fight off all the side effects of Lissa's spirit use, but I can't I feel it taking control of me.

"Roza, I told you I needed time. I was only gone for two weeks." He looks at me with pure disappointment on his face.

I broke. I start walking towards him screaming.

"Two weeks, Two weeks. YOU LEFT ME HERE. YOU BROKE MY HEART. TWO WEEKS." Tears start to fill my eyes.

"I loved you. I wanted to be with you, you kissed me and then left me. I didn't ask for any of this. I chose you, You didn't chose me. You chose you or should I say you chose Time." A tear falls down my cheek. "Speaking of time, Did you make your decision? You seemed rather cozy with Tasha at the party? Are you going to screw her, and make her the mother of your children?"

"Rose please call down. I want to talk to you. I NEEd to talk to you. A lot has happened these last two weeks for the both of us." He is looking at me with those sexy brown eyes.

He puts his hands on my arms. "Rose, please" He looks down at me again. "I need you!"

I start to melt in his gaze. "He needs me" after all this time the words I wanted to hear.

"Roza."

He leans down and kisses me. I try to think but the alcohol is messing with my brain. I know I shouldn't let him off so easy, but its Dimitri. I put my arms around him and he picks me up and puts me on his lap. The passion, the electricity flowing between us is so intense. I can literally feel the heat coming through his clothes. (I myself am not wearing too much)

I start to undo his shirt. He lets me. The feel of his abs and chest up against me make my skin hotter. I start to pull him down on top of me.

"Roza, we can't do this right now." he says against my lips.

"Why not! I thought you needed me comrade?"

A smile plays on his lips.

"I do need you, but I need you to be sober too!" he says like my mentor, not my almost lover.

"Dimitri, we are in my bed I am half dressed, and you are telling me no, but you say you need me. Am I missing something here?" I start to feel the anger coming back.

"Rose, I want to talk to you. There is a lot to talk about. I do want to be with you, but it's not right for us to be together like this right now. You are still underage, and I am much older than you. I want you to be with me not Alex."

"That is what this is about. Alex. You are jealous. You didn't want me before, but now that you see I have someone in my life you want me back. I can't go back to the way things were before Dimitri I can't. Alex, isn't scared to show his feelings for me or to fight for me. You only seem to fight for me when you dont want others to have me. I can't believe I almost fell for it. Its not going to change I can see that. You will still be the hardass, always has to do the right thing Dimitri. You can't help it. Its who you are, Its who I fell in love with, but I can't do it. I choose not to do it. I need someone who wants me, who isn't ashamed of me"

"I am not ashamed of you Roza." He says.

I can see something come over him.

"Roza, I think its best I leave right now. I want to talk to you when you are sober."

I look at him full of anger, love and most of all sexual frustration.

"I think we said all we need to say to eachother Guardian Belikov, Please get out"

I slam the door on him and start to cry.

Dimitri's POV

"What are you doing here?" Roza asks.

"What are you doing answering the door in your underwear? and who did you think it was at your door?" I ask knowing the answers, and not liking it one bit.

I just stare at her.

She just stands there in her Black strapless lace bra and thong looking at me. I walk in the room and lock the door behind me.

She sits on the bed and I lean on the door. I can't stop looking at her. She is gorgeous. I don't think she truly understand how sexy she is. I tell myself to snap out of it. I have to say something. I decide to take the teacher approach.

"Roza, what are you thinking? You are drunk and what were you about to do with Alex?" I ask. I hope she doesn't really tell me what she was planning. I dont think my heart can take it.

She is angry. I can see it all over her face. She gets up and walks towards me. I say the first thing that pops into my jealous head.

"Roza, I told you I needed time. I was only gone for two weeks." I look at her hoping she hasn't changed into someone different in the time I was gone, but like Grandma Yeva said "A lot can happen in two weeks."

She starts screaming at me. "Two weeks, Two weeks. YOU LEFT ME HERE. YOU BROKE MY HEART. TWO WEEKS." Tears start to fill her eyes. I want so bad to just grab her and hold her. I want to show her how much I missed her, but I know she deserves to yell at me for all I have put her through.

She continues. "I loved you. I wanted to be with you, you kissed me and then left me. I didn't ask for any of this. I chose you, You didn't choose me. You chose you or should I say you choose Time." A tear falls down her cheek. "Speaking of time, Did you make your decision? You seemed rather cozy with Tasha at the party? Are you going to screw her, and make her the mother of your children?"

I start thinking. The first thing I heard out of her mouth was "loved". She loved me. Does that mean she doesn't anymore! I can't lose her. I love her so much. I have chosen you Please let me tell you that. But she continues. She saw me with Tasha. Great I think I didn't even see her walk in. Tasha was so touchy feely. I am going to have to tell her the truth that I am in love with Rose. I have to fix this.

"Rose please call down. I want to talk to you. I NEED to talk to you. A lot has happened these last two weeks for the both of us." I am staring at her trying to get her to understand, but I can tell the alcohol is not helping in my favor.

I reach out to her. I grab her arms. "Rose, please, I need you!" I say the first thing that I can next.

"Roza."

I lean down and kiss her. She put her arms around me, and I pick her up and carry her to the bed I sit her down on my lap. I have missed her so much. I feel like my body is missing something and as soon as we touch I feel whole. I feel the passion, the electricity flowing between us so strongly.

She starts undressing me. I can feel her body up against mine. The heat against my skin is the best feeling in the world. Her kiss melts me. I have to think. I need to be responsible. I come to the realization that this can't happen right now. As much as I want it to, and God knows I do. She is so irresistable. She is drunk. I dont want our first time to be like this. So i tell her something I know she isn't going to like.

"Roza, we can't do this right now." I say against her lips.

"Why not! I thought you needed me comrade?" she says while still trying to undo my pants.

A smile plays on my lips. I secretly like it when she calls me by my nickname. I have to snap out of it though.

"I do need you, but I need you to be sober too!" I say trying to get my point across.

Her next arguement almost made me lose the little self control I still had left. "Dimitri, we are in my bed I am half dressed, and you are telling me no, but you say you need me. Am I missing something here?" She starts to pull me into one of those deep lose yourself kisses. She is so sexy in her linjerie and I want her so badly, but this is wrong. Come on Belikov get out of here and go take a cold shower (I tell myself)

"Rose, I want to talk to you. There is a lot to talk about. I do want to be with you, but it's not right for us to be together like this right now. You are still underage, and I am much older than you. I want you to be with me not Alex."

I am hoping she understanding the right now part. I do want her so bad, I am fighting everything in my body to not take her now. I see something change in her at my words. I try to remember what I said. But before I could she sits up and starts yelling again.

"That is what this is about. Alex. You are jealous. You didn't want me before, but now that you see I have someone in my life you want me back. I can't go back to the way things were before Dimitri I can't. Alex, isn't scared to show his feelings for me or to fight for me. You only seem to fight for me when you dont want others to have me. I can't believe I almost fell for it. Its not going to change I can see that. You will still be the hardass who always has to do the right thing. You can't help it. Its who you are, Its who I fell in love with, but I can't do it. I choose not to do it. I need someone who wants me, who isn't ashamed of me"

"I am not ashamed of you Roza." I say honestly. I am not ashamed of her one bit. True she is immature at times and can be childish, but she is my soulmate. I am trying to be mature and handle the situation in the best way for all of us. She just doesn't understand. I need to speak with her later. I can see nothing I say is going to change her mind tonight.

"Roza, I think its best I leave right now. I want to talk to you when you are sober."

The next words out her mouth, are not what I want to hear. "I think we said all we need to say to eachother Guardian Belikov, Please get out." I get up and and start buttoning my shirts and walk to the door. Before I can tell her I am sorry and I love her she slams the door on me, and I walk out full of emotion, heart break and frustration. I thought I had it bad until I heard my Roza start to sob.

All I can think is "what have I done?"