16 Dannys POV
Another week went by, and nothing new came up, there was no news about Tom, and I felt so hopeless. This was my boyfriend that was missing, I had checked everywhere apart from Disneyland and NASA, and he certainly wasn't there, because the cash with drawls were coming out over here, in London.
"oh Tom, where are you?" I sighed, looking out of the window, thinking it might give me inspiration. I got nothing, all I could think about was Tom actually being dead, and not here, just...gone, without even a proper goodbye. If he was dead, at least he was in a place where he belonged, Heaven. I always said he was too beautiful for this Earth, though he never believed me, always thinking he was either too fat, or too thin, or his chin was too big, and so on and so forth. I loved him no matter what he said anyway, he was perfect to me, no matter what he thought, he was perfect.
I started to write down a few more lyrics into my lyric book.
'Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life'
I wished I could go back to the day before his disappearance and get him to talk to me, I really would have stayed up all night with him, got him to talk it all through with me, until he felt alright again, why hadn't I done that? I could feel tears leaking out my eyes again, wishing for a Delorian from Back To The Future, just to go back, or go forward, just to see if we ever got him back. I regretted so much, so, so much, I shouldn't have teased him, making him cringe by singing weirdly, and should have told him I loved him more, and cuddled him more, asked him to move in with me quicker.
I put my head in my hands, knocking off the lyric book, watching it fall off the edge of the windowsill, and into the road. "sh*t." I muttered, running downstairs and running outside to get it. "are you Daniel Jones?" someone made me jump, stepping in front of me. I looked up to see a solemn looking policeman in front of me. "y-yeah." I whimpered, thinking the worst. "I'm here about your missing persons case, with Thomas Fletcher." He explained simply, I could see the regret in his eyes, oh god, oh god no! "w-what about it?" I whispered, feeling a lump in my throat forming. "erm, go get your friend first." The man sighed, oh no, don't please tell me they had found his body! I preferred him missing than dead!
"Danny, whats going on?" Harry shouted, running out with Dougie. "you need to come with me, we have someone who could be Tom, we need you to ID him." The officer explained, and I knew that they only did that when you were in the morgue. "w-where is he?" Dougie teared up, backing into Harrys arms, grabbing his tshirt. "I'm sorry, he is in the morgue." As soon as he said it, I started to cry, our Tom was dead, and it was all my fault. "no, no, no, no, NO! Please, he can't be, he can't be d-dead! No!" I sunk to the floor, convulsing until I was curled into a ball, sobbing.
"it might not be him, it just fits his description. Just come with me and we'll see if its him or not." The officer gestured to the car, and I literally had to crawl into the car, unable to stand by myself. The three of us cried endlessly the whole way to the morgue, and I couldn't help but feel more and more dread build up inside me, what if it was Tom? What if Tom actually was dead? What was I going to do without him? I was useless without him, these few months proved that, I was so scared, what was I going to do without Tom? My beautiful, funny, loving, kind, sweet, adorable, Tom!
"if you would follow me." The officer led us into the morgue, all 3 of us clinging to each other and shaking, barely even shuffling forward. I whimpered as we entered the morgue, not about to take being here. The doctor greeted us and showed us to a table, the person hidden underneath a sheet. The sheet was removed from the mans face, and we all let out a joint sob. "I am so sorry." The doctor whispered.
17 Toms POV the day before
As I sat in the back seat of my car, I stared at the razor blade, in awe of its shining beauty, the way the metal glinted in the early morning sunlight was mesmerising. "now, do I use you or not?" I wondered to myself, unsure of whether or not I should be using it. I hadn't done something recently that could be seen as bad, nor did I feel that painful feeling of loss and helplessness, so I guessed not. I put it back into the packet, managing to slice my finger a little.
"ow, sh*t!" I looked at my finger, seeing one lone drop of blood roll down, leaving a red trail behind it. If I had thought the razor was hypnotising, it was nothing on the sight of blood rolling over my skin, my god, it was beautiful, almost as beautiful as Danny. Though nothing compared to him, nothing in the world could compare to how amazing he was. How he had managed to touch me, let alone anything else, was amazing. How could someone so incredible and god-like touch me and pretend to love me like he had? I was nothing compared to him, absolutely nothing, I was nowhere near perfect, or even normal, while he was literally everything that described perfection. Hell, he even pretended to love someone so below his league for 4 years, just so I could be happy, until I realised that I wasn't actually loved, and I was just bringing everyone down with my ugliness and problems.
I knew I had problems, I wasn't diagnosed with anything, but I knew there was something not right in my head, it wasn't effecting this decision though. This decision was a completely sane choice, I wasn't being stupid here, I was freeing Danny, Harry and Dougie, letting them live together happily without me there ruining it. Thinking about this made my mood plummet even worse than it had done before, I felt like I was at rock bottom, complete rock bottom, like I was drowning in my mental health problems, and general ugliness. I needed that release now, right this second, and only one thing could let me have it.
I scrambled back to get the razor again, picking it up, along with the towel I had brought for occasions like this, laying my arm on it and cutting. The skin tore open and again, that amazing, hypnotising red liquid fell over my pale arm, the colours warring against each other to be more beautiful. Somehow, I managed to tear myself out of its hypnotism, and wrapped the towel around my arm, trying to stop the blood, I was trying for over 10 minutes to get it to stop, but the blood just kept on coming. "sh*t! Stop bleeding please!" I whimpered, panicking, I really didn't want to die, I really wanted to carry on living, strangely enough.
I stumbled out of my car, feeling faint, managing to lock it then stumble to Carries, my head spinning and making me feel sick. I had get gather all my strength to get to her door and knock, feeling myself start to slip out of consciousness. The door opened and I just about managed to whisper "don't take me to the hospital, and don't...tell...Danny." the next thing I knew was blackness as my head smacked against the cold floor.
