All the guilt, all the pressure, all the anger and fear and hurt, they swirled within the basin in my stomach, swirling, swirling, swirling like a hurricane. Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw the images that pestered my nightmares or the look on Ki's face when I told him I was going home alone. I couldn't even think of Len—too much confusion bubbled up with him. It had been three days since karaoke night, and I hadn't talked to anyone since. I would have turned off my phone, but work was work, and working was a great distraction. Another great distraction: clicking my pen. My poor, defenseless pen. Click, click, click, click, click.

"Hidari-san?" Luka asked warily, lifting her dream-like eyes in my direction and probably wondering why her psychiatrist was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"Oh, sorry, Megurine-san." I stopped clicking the pen. "I must have dozed off for a second. I've been having trouble sleeping."

"That's fine, Hidari-san." She smiled serenely. "Everything's fine."

I was half-worried that Luka was getting high before our meetings, but from what she told me, the only drug she was on was love. For over a month, I had been hearing non-stop about this mystery man she had fallen so hard for, and for over a month, she had never uttered his name. She came into my office that first day because of depression, which she obviously didn't have anymore. However, I was not confident in clearing her. Something about this almost child-like obsession with this older gentleman just made me want to keep an eye on her.

"U-Um, school started back up for you this week, correct? How has it been?" I hastily pushed myself back on track.

She reverted to gazing out the window, that absent-minded grin creeping up on her face. "Wonderful. The days go by so quickly."

"I thought it would be harder—not seeing that man as often."

"Actually, we've been seeing each other more now."

"Really?" I wrote that down. "He definitely feels the same way about you, then?"

"I think so. I hope so."

"Have you had sexual intercourse with him?"

"You have a new picture on that bookshelf…"

"What is his name?"

"I like this picture. You finally found more people like us."

I sighed, acquiescing into her direction of conversation. The photograph she was referring to was of all my new friends, old friends, and myself, smiling and huddling together like we were having the best times of our lives together. A longing for that day took hold of my heart. Things were much simpler then. "People like us. Who in that picture is like us, Megurine-san?"

"Everyone. Every single one. Except your boyfriend, of course. He will always be out-of-place."

A lengthy silence stretched out between us. All the thoughts and feelings I had been trying to suppress crashed over me. I clicked my pen a few times. I really wanted to make a cup of tea. My head began to ache, so I closed my eyes and tried to get it together.

"We haven't, by the way. Not yet."

"You haven't…" I gathered my thoughts. "You haven't had sexual intercourse?"

"No. I think he's afraid that I'm not ready, but I am."

"Maybe he's not ready."

She gave me an alarmed look. "You may be right."

"I'm glad I'm right about one thing." Then my phone beeped. Time was up. The session was over. "Well, I hope to be seeing you next week, Megurine-san."

"I wouldn't miss it. I really like these Wednesdays with you, Hidari-san. I feel like you're a real friend."

"I'm glad you feel that way."

Her dress fluttered behind her like water, calm and tranquil water, and she left, taking her calmness and tranquility with her.

Girls' Night was never as tense as it was that Friday. I didn't think they would even show up, but lo and behold, Meiko and Yuka showed up on my doorstep right on time, bottles of wine cradled in their arms like children.

"Hey," I said numbly, bracing myself for whatever onslaught they were about to throw at me. "Why didn't you text us back?" "Why are you isolating yourself?" "You made us worried!"

"Hey." Meiko's voice was filled with pity.

I stepped aside to let in the two vagabonds. "Did Ki tell you what happened or something?"

Yuka shook her head, carefully placing the wine on my coffee table. "Someone overheard the argument back at the bar. News spread around fast."

"So, everyone knows." Len knows.

"Yeah…" Meiko cringed as she said the words. "You haven't texted us, so I'm assuming you haven't made up yet?"

"No. He hasn't tried to reach out to me, and I haven't tried to reach out to him." We were always a little competitive like this. Who can give the better Christmas present? Who could be more loyal, more affectionate, more of a braggart about each other to our co-workers? I always seemed to lose, but not this time.

"Well, this is what we call a 'friendship emergency,'" Yuka announced. Despite her playful tone, I could tell she was in mature mode tonight. "Do you want to talk about it?"

We all collapsed on the couch and stared blankly at the bottles of alcohol. How lovely it would be to forget. "I guess. There isn't much to talk about."

"The argument was about Len?" Meiko was trying her best not to push her matchmaker agenda, and I appreciated that.

"Yep. He asked me not to hang out with him anymore, and I didn't think it was his place to tell me who I can be friends with. 'Don't let him dictate your life.' Isn't that what you said?" They fell silent, like maybe this whole upheaval of my life was their fault. "Do you think I should have done something differently?"

"No," Yuka replied.

"Me neither," I said. "I wouldn't change anything about the last month. It's been the best of my life."

"You've fallen for Len, haven't you?" Yuka asked grimly.

"Maybe. I don't know. I haven't decided yet."

"It's not really something you decide, my dear," Meiko interjected. "It just happens."

There was a knock on the front door. I almost didn't catch it; it was so quiet. My two guests shook their heads when I shot them a questioning look. Pushing myself to my feet, I ambled over and opened the door, fully expecting Miku or Gumi, some other girl to probe me with questions or provide their wisdom, but it wasn't a girl at all. It was Len.

"H-Hello," he said, like he was already regretting the decision of knocking. Meiko and Yuka were leaning over the couch, eyes staring daggers at the uninvited guest. It was as if they were saying "How dare this source of Mayu's agony rub salt in the wound of her despair?"

"Hi, um. What are you doing here?" I didn't recall giving him my address. I'm sure someone was willing to give it to him. News spread fast, apparently.

"I wanted to talk to you." He twiddled with his blond hair and avoided looking at my face. I had to suppress my psycho-analyzing instinct.

"Okay." I threw my snooping friends a few harsh glares and joined Len out in the corridor, shutting the door behind me. "What's up?"

"I know why you've been avoiding my texts."

"I've been avoiding everyone's, actually." However, I haven't even been reading yours, afraid of what I might find.

"I think I'm what's keeping you and Kiyoteru apart, and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry that I know you two had a fight. It wasn't any of my business."

"What's going on between Ki and me is not your fault," I said quietly. "He simply tried to forbid me from being friends with someone I care about. If he tried to do that with Yuka, Meiko, Miku, or anyone else, we would have still ended up this way."

"But, he didn't try to do that with anyone else. He tried to do that with me. I don't want our friendship to do this, Mayu. I don't want you to resent me one day for tearing you and the love of your life apart."

I hated where this was going. I hated that there was a "goodbye" on the tip of his tongue. "What if he isn't the love of my life? What if our argument just made me realize all the things that have been wrong with our relationship from the start?"

"What if he is? I want you to be happy. You shouldn't be afraid to remain friends with Miku, Kaito, and Gumi, of course. You can avoid me all you want at our gatherings, or I'll avoid you. You still have met so many good people this summer."

But I've met you, too. I was about to say it, but I could feel a sob crawling its way up my throat. As soon as I pushed it down, he was sprinting away. "Len!" I called desperately, following him until there was a turn in the hall. When I reached around the corner, he was gone. "Len!" I called again.

Feeling shattered somehow, I walked back to my apartment, opened the door, and looked at Meiko and Yuka with defeated resignation. "I know who I love," I said. "And, I'm not going to let him go."