Chapter Nine
Kate sat beside Sawyer's bed in his tent. She stared at him, wondering what had possessed him to leave the caves. Jack had told her he could have bled to death if Sayid hadn't acted.
She ran her fingers through his hair, wishing there was some way she could help. Would he let her help him, though?
"Why are you doing this?" Kate asked, stroking his hair. "I'm sorry I didn't see you the other day. I'm just so mixed up when it comes to you. I wish you would let me know how you really feel. I hate having to guess."
She bent over and kissed him on the lips. He didn't respond and she pulled away. She looked at his face and wished he would open his eyes. She wanted to look into his blue eyes and see the spark in them.
"Sawyer, wake up," Kate whispered. "Please. Don't leave me."
"I believe he has a death wish," Sayid said behind her.
She looked up ad Sayid came into the tent. He sat across from her and glanced at Sawyer.
"Sometimes I think so, too," she said softly.
"I take it Jack told you?"
Kate nodded, picturing Sawyer stumbling down the beach, blood covering his chest. It terrified her that he would do such a thing. She didn't want to know what else he would try.
"We can lock him in the bunkroom," Sayid said with a smile. "He won't be going anywhere then."
Kate smiled and thought about it.
"I can pick a lock," Sawyer's soft voice said.
"Sawyer," Kate said, smiling.
She gathered him in her arms and kissed him. She loved the feel of him in her arms. She wasn't going to let him go, ever.
"Hey, Freckles," he whispered as she placed him back on the bed.
"Don't ever try something like that again. You could have died!"
Sawyer looked away and her stomach dropped.
"That's what you planned," she whispered, shocked. "To bleed to death in your tent."
"Can't get nothing pass you, Freckles."
"Damn it, why?"
Sawyer stared at her and she had a feeling she wasn't going to like what he said next.
"I have nothing to live for," Sawyer said, his voice a growl.
Kate shook her head and stroked his hair. The words scared her and she wanted to take away his pain.
"You do, Sawyer," she whispered. "You have me."
Sawyer stared at her, not believing what she told him. He wanted to, but he hurt too much.
"Really, Freckles?" He asked. "I remember you leaving right after I kissed you."
Kate avoided his eyes and sighed. He watched her as she struggled with some inner turmoil. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. It seemed he was destined to screw things up with Kate.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I took what you said the wrong way."
Sawyer shook his head, "Don't beat yourself up over it. I ruined the moment."
"I'm not going to let you wallow in your self-loathing, Sawyer," Kate said, turning his face to look at her. "Don't give up. Please."
He stared at her, her eyes pleading with him. He saw the wetness within them and his heart turned over.
"Kate," he whispered and then noticed they had an audience.
"I believe I shall be going," Sayid said as he stood.
Sayid left the tent. Sawyer grabbed Kate and kissed her. He ran his hands into her hair as he deepened the kiss. Warmth flowed through him as their tongues dueled. He couldn't get enough of her. He was like a thirsty man who had been given a drink and wanted more.
He pulled her closer, wanting to feel her against him. Pain shot through him and he cried out, releasing her.
"Are you all right?" Kate asked, concern and fear in her voice.
"I'll be fine," he said through clinched teeth as she checked his bandage. "It hurts like hell."
"We should take it easy until you're better."
Sawyer looked at her and smiled slightly.
"No more kissing?"
Kate laughed and ran her fingers through his hair. Sparks of electricity flowed through him. He closed his eyes and sighed, loving the sensations.
"If you behave, Sawyer," she whispered in his ear. Liquid fire pooled in his groin and he moaned. Kate laughed again and he smiled at her.
"I'll bring you something to eat," she said, standing. "Stay put."
"Will do," he said and watched her leave.
--
Kate strode across the beach and headed for the hatch. A smile graced her lips and her worry had lifted. She had been so scared for Sawyer and felt so helpless.
She still feared he would slip back into his self-loathing at any moment and she would loose him. She vowed to keep an eye on him and keep his spirits up.
Kate spotted Jack coming out of the hatch. He saw her and headed toward her.
"He still gloomy?" Jack asked.
"No. He's fine. He's still in pain, though."
Jack nodded. "I'll give him something for it. How are you doing?"
Kate smiled, thinking of the amazing kiss she shared with Sawyer. She realized she wanted him to kiss her again. The knowledge both frightened and thrilled her.
"I'm fine," she said. "I'm glad he's going to be all right."
Jack nodded, watching her closely. She didn't like the way he looked at her. She narrowed her eyes, suddenly suspicious.
"What?"
"Be careful, Kate," he said gently. "Once he's recovered he'll be back to his wise-ass ways."
"He's a wise-ass now," Kate said, not believing what she was hearing. "Don't start this again, Jack. He almost died."
"Just be careful, Kate. I don't want to see you hurt."
"What about him, Jack?" Kate asked, her anger getting the better of her. "He's the one who keeps getting hurt around here. You don't tell him to be careful."
"Because he won't listen to me," he said sharply. "Why don't you tell him? He listens to you."
Kate shook her head and headed into the hatch.
--
"Here," Jack said, waking Sawyer.
He opened his eyes as Jack handed him some pills. He took them and downed them with water.
"Thanks," Sawyer whispered as Jack sat beside him.
"Want to tell me now why you left the cave?"
"Ask Kate," Sawyer answered, taking another drink of water.
"I want to hear it from you."
He glared at Jack, wondering what the doctor was playing at. Why should Jack care if he changed scenery?
"Why do you care?"
Jack sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Kate was scared to death, Sawyer. I want to know why you would do that to her."
Sawyer looked away. The pained expression on her face forced its way to his mind. He closed his eyes and sighed.
"I thought I'd lost her," he whispered.
"Are you even in a relationship with her, Sawyer?"
Sawyer smiled. "We kissed again, Doc. I'd call that a relationship. Wouldn't you?"
Jack shook his head and stood. He stared at Sawyer, who narrowed his eyes. He didn't like the expression on Jack's face.
"She's better off without you if all you think about is having sex with her."
Sawyer growled and lunged at Jack. The doctor side-stepped and he landed in the sand. He sputtered, rose slightly and shook his hair out of his face. He glared at Jack, ignoring the pain in his chest.
"You're not doing yourself any good, Sawyer," Jack said calmly.
Sawyer pushed himself to his feet. He swayed slightly, but stayed standing. He glared at Jack, wanting to knock the doctor into next week.
"What's going on?" Kate's voice brought his attention to her. She didn't look happy as she stared from him to Jack and back again. She held a bowl of fruit in her hands.
"Nothing, Kate," Jack answered.
"Doesn't look like nothing to me," she said. "What's he doing up?"
Jack sighed and Sawyer wondered if the good doctor would lie or tell the truth. Either way, he had an idea Kate wouldn't like it. He ran a hand through his long hair and sat on the bed. Just standing drained his energy. He was weak and he didn't think he could even sit up much longer.
"He's in one of his moods," Jack said.
Sawyer glared dangerously. "I seem to be in these moods whenever you're around, Doc. What's that tell ya?"
Jack glared at him, but Sawyer turned his gaze to Kate. She stared at them as if they had lost their minds.
"I can't believe you two," she said, her eyes narrowed. "Sawyer can barely stand and you're already fighting. Why can't you get along?"
"Well, Freckles, I think he wants you all to himself. I'm the competition."
"You are so full of yourself," Jack said between clinched teeth. "You're an ass. You only care about yourself."
Sawyer said nothing, knowing Jack was right. Of course, he cared a great deal about Kate. He didn't think she would believe him if he said so.
He felt her eyes on him and he looked at her. Her eyes pleased with him and he offered a small smile.
"Let's go, Kate," Jack said as he left the tent. "Let him stay by himself since he prefers his own company."
Kate stared at him, hesitant, not sure what to do. He decided to help her make the decision.
"Leave the bowl, Kate," Sawyer said softly.
Kate placed the bowl beside him and left the tent. He sighed and stared ahead at nothing.
