The look in Dean's eyes when he apologized to me, it was all wrong, and I should have known. I should have let him speak, let him open his mind and tell me every single dark thing that was on his mind. What I did was hush him, because I didn't want him to hurt me. But Dean was the one I should have been focusing on. Dean was the one who was in pain. I was so preoccupied with my own troubles that I didn't stop to think of what he was going through. Instead, I turned off my thoughts for a night so that I wouldn't have to think about him or the rest of the world. And because of my selfishness, Dean was not there in the morning.

Sam was silent for most of the car ride to Richford, Wisconsin, which is where Dean was. When Sam wasn't silent, he was swearing under his breath. I was doing the same inside of my head. Anger shook me like a heavy wind in the trees. We had come so far, and now he was just going to give it all up. There was a pulse of fury that kept a steady rhythm to all of my disappointment in Dean. All I could do when we got to the motel room was nod tersely to Same as he gave me my orders. He went in to talk to Dean and see if he would come quietly. I followed him in, invisible to them both, waiting for the moment I was needed: the moment Dean would refuse to come on his own.

I stood in the corner of the room watching the brothers I so loved arguing with one another. Sam was now the one who sounded like the leader, the responsible one. Dean was so broken. He had given up everything and all of us with it. My hands balled into fists at my sides. How could he do this to me? It's like he didn't even care at all. Without a word, I tapped him on the forehead, to put him out of consciousness for the trip back to Bobby's.

As Dean fought Bobby and Sam, I still said nothing. My thoughts were still too turbulent to be conformed into eloquent words. I tried to focus on the conversation in front of me, but that was made all the harder by the voices of my brothers and sisters shouting in my mind. Wincing, I clutched at my head, honing in on one solitary voice instead of them all. Something was happening. Something important. I left immediately for the location the angels spoke of. The forest clearing was full of strange feelings. There was much power beating through the barren branches. I walked to where the power was strongest, and looking down, I saw the moist earth pulsing like a heart beat. Before I could pull out whatever was under the ground however, I became aware that I was not alone. My brother lunged at me, his sword bared, but I deflected it with my own weapon. I struck a blow, but he pushed me sideways and made another attack at me from the left. We locked our arms together with swords pointing at one another's exposed abdomens. And it could have all been over for me then, but a surge of anger gave me strength enough to twist out of his reach and send my blade into his chest. No sooner did his grace burn out that I was confronted with one of my sisters, in the vessel of a male. I was ready for her, and determined to kill her quickly. My sword seemed to do its own fighting as I sliced into her stomach, weakening her. Then, with a sweep of my leg, I tripped her onto the ground, and plunged my blade deep into her heart. Unblinking, I watched her grace drain from her and I felt all of its power release into me. This is what I had become for Dean Winchester: a murderer of my own kin.

I put my siblings' weapons in my pockets, and hid my own up my sleeve as I always keep it. Then, I reached down into the throbbing mud and grasped the hand that eagerly clung to mine. The boy I pulled from the ground could be no older than 20 years old. He fainted in my arms, so I went directly back to Bobby and the Winchesters, who looked looked incredulously at me and my new companion. It was angels who pulled Adam, Sam and Dean's younger brother, out of Heaven. They wanted him very badly for something, and because of that, they could definitely not have him. I marked his ribs with the same Enochian symbols that I gave Same and Dean to keep him hidden from my siblings. He woke up with a start, not the least bit surprised at Sam and Dean's news of their kinship. All he wanted to know was the whereabouts of Zachariah.

After getting cleaned up, Adam is sat down and asked to tell his story. I listened carefully, and it was just as I feared: Adam was the new Michael sword. "But that's insane," Dean floundered.

"Not necessarily," I spoke up, finally opening my mouth.

Dean turned to face me, looking me in the eye for the first time since the night I'd quieted him. "How do you mean?" he asked.

"Maybe they're moving on from you, Dean," I say my voice cold and my eyes accusing.

"Well that doesn't make sense."

"He is John Winchester's bloodline, and Sam's brother. It's not perfect, but it's possible."

"Why would they do this?" Sam asked, crossing his arms in frustration.

"Maybe they're desperate," I offered, mimicking Sam's actions and crossing my own arms across my chest. I looked to Dean, unable to help myself and continued, saying, "Or maybe, they wrongly assumed that Dean would be brave enough to withstand them."

Dean looked back at me quickly, his eyes flashing angrily. "Alright, you know what, blow me, Cas."

We stared fiercely at one another, both of our eyes narrowed. Sam waved away our words and turned the attention back to Adam. Dean looked away from me, his body ridged with indignation. I pulled my thoughts away from Dean and tried to, once again pay attention to the problem of the youngest brother. He was determined to be Michael's vessel, but Sam was not having any of that. He begged him to just trust us in that we would find an alternate way at stopping Lucifer. Adam was not convinced by Sam's line about family, and Dean was not being helpful. But Sam was clever, as always, and Adam agreed to give us just a bit of time.

Now that Adam was taken care of, Sam decided it was best to put him in the panic room for safe keeping. If he was in there, we would not need to watch him continuously to make sure he wasn't sneaking out to betray him. He went on his own, this time, not needing my assistance to cooperate. But the look he gave me on his way passed chilled me. It wasn't but a few days ago that he looked at me with something like love in his eyes, but now there was nothing but anger. I returned him the look and went to the porch for some air. It was no use to close my eyes and think back to happier days, inhaling the air that wiped around me. Nothing could sooth my ill temper. All I could do was help Sam and Bobby watch the boys and figure out our alternate method of stopping the devil. And during that time, I could not lose myself in my rage against Dean.

Keeping myself calm was not at all an easy undertaking, especially since Dean seemed determined to break me. Whenever he got the chance, he'd make a dry comment about me. Over our two years I'd grown accustomed to his teasing, but now his sexual jokes made my skin crawl. He knew then how I felt for him and that it would hurt me all the more to turn my feelings for him into something degrading. Sam would just shoot me a warning look and send me away. Instead, I watched over the younger brother, Adam. The boy slept, so my job was the simple matter of watching over him.

Time passed slowly, and Bobby grew more and more anxious. Finally, Sam came upstairs from trying to reason with Dean. His mouth was pulled down into a tight frown, and his posture mirrored a defeated soldier. Inhaling a sharp breath, I made my decision to talk to Dean myself. It was unfair for me to let Sam handle this load on his own. I would just have to suppress the worst of my anger and talk to Dean with maturity. There was a crash from behind the door, so I hurried to make sure everything was alright. Dean did not answer when I called his name, nor could I see him when I looked through the hatch. Cautiously, I opened the door and stepped inside. Finding the table overturned, my heart beat nervously, until my name was called from the far corner. No sooner had I turned to look upon the man I so loved than did I feel myself being ripped apart in five different ways as I was banished to a far corner of the Earth.

When everything stopped searing in the painful light of my grace, I found myself in Bucharest, Romania. I did not care who heard me as I screamed in fury. I tore at my hair and beat my hands against the ground. I shouted blasphemous slurs and hatred for Heaven. I damned Dean Winchester to Hell for eternity. I hope that I would be the one to send him there. To look him in the eyes and know that I was his ruin. For he had betrayed me when I had given him everything. I had loved him more than my brothers and sisters. I had fallen from my home for his cause, and he was giving up. I hoped for his sake that I would not find whiff of his scent, because I would show him the true wrath of an angel when provoked.