Captain Falcon walked down the corridors, whistling the tune of Mute City to himself. Then he stopped upon noticing, within an open room in front of him, some figures sitting on a couch. "Hmm..." he muttered, rubbing his chin before sneaking in. Slowly, he made his way behind the person.
It turned out to be Ridley. And the villain seemed to be reading something.
How'd I not recognize this goon? Captain Falcon wondered. He slowly leaned sideways to see what the dragon... pirate... thing, was reading.
Turns out he was just holding several pictures.
Huh. Boring guy with no life. Captain Falcon was about to stop when he, upon proper focus, realized they were pictures of Samus.
Messed up pictures of Samus.
Ah ah ah. What kind of 'messed up' did you think I meant?
These were gory fanarts of Samus. They were freaky, gore-fetish fandrawn pictures of Samus.
"Dude!" Captain Falcon shouted. "What the hell!?"
Ridley didn't seem affected, but he turned around nevertheless. "Oh, it's you. What?"
Captain Falcon pointed to the pictures. "Those pictures! I thought you'd turn out to be a pervert, but that's just sick!"
The space dragon raised an eyebrow... eye... something. "Dude, I'm an evil, wicked, nefarious space pirate dragon, with an intense hatred for that blasted Samus. What else would I enjoy?" he asked. "And before you say porn, ew. I would never ever lower myself to that level."
"...but did it have to be bloody and messy like that?" the racer asked.
Ridley rolled his eyes and got up,patting the Smasher's back. "Everyone's got their preferences, little one. When I become a Smasher one day, I'll teach you to judge people by their kinks."
Like hell you'd ever become a Smasher, Captain Falcon thought.
Oh, wouldn't you like to know, Captain. Wouldn't you loooove to know.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Nothing. Stick with your time, boy.
"...right."
Now with nothing to do again, and definitely no shame nor guilt, he exited the room and continued walking through the corridors.
Then he spotted his buddy Samus Aran holding a framed photo. He grinned- nothing beats a day of bothering one of his close friends. The racer casually strolled up to the bounty hunter. "Hey, Sammy. What's caught your eye?"
"Oh, it's nothing," Samus muttered. He could've sworn he heard a low groan too.
Oh well. He leaned slightly to see the photo.
It was... a picture of Ike and Marth, standing and facing opposite directions. But they were positioned in a way that almost made it look like they were kissing, albeit with eyes opened and...
Captain Falcon winced. "Woman, you are sick!" he shouted, backing off.
Samus rolled her eyes. "Okay, first, this is a gift from Zelda. I'm not a fan of it, but I'm not disrespectful." She glared at the captain. "Secondly, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay or liking gay content. Don't judge me, and don't judge Zelda nor anyone else who likes this kind of thing."
"O... okay, okay, sheesh," he murmured.
Then she grabbed him by the collar. "And three... don't you ever call me Sammy again."
"Whoa, chill, woman! Gods, can't a guy make a remark without offending anyone?"
Wouldn't hurt to keep your disgust to yourself, Samus thought as she let him go.
Sighing, Captain Falcon continued his walk.
Then he spotted another of his friends- Jigglypuff! She was peering into a room. Captain Falcon grinned- time to tease the puffball! He sneaked closer to see what she was staring at.
Kirby was inside the room, enjoying a slice of cake.
Captain Falcon frowned. Then he looked down at Jigglypuff. "...dude, Kirby's just a puffball. You seriously like him?"
She jumped in surprise, then turned red, then turned angry. "And just who do you think you're talking to!?" she asked.
The racer blinked.
He stared.
Then he turned around and walked away without a word.
Making his way to the cafeteria, where he can also relax, the racer sighed and pulled out an album of pictures and started looking through it. "All those people, they don't have nothing better to do to kill time... jeez, I'll just look through my treasured album and think of the past. Good memories, yes, Captain."
Cloud walked past several tables as he enjoyed a chocolate bar hanging from his mouth. He noticed Captain Falcon looking through an album and peered inside.
My 79th Falcon Punch mix. Truly a masterpiece, as always.
My 80th Falcon Punch mix. I added a bit of orange. It's beautiful.
My 81st Falcon Punch mix. Olimar's Pikmin are amazing.
Cloud shook his head. These people need help.
