Unspoken FearsSet during Act 3, before Chapter 16;x.x.xHow long had it been? Two years? Definitely close. Either way, you'd think he would've adjusted by now. Accepted where he stood, and found inner peace. Well, for the most part, Ven understood his predicament. He chose to sleep inside Sora, had nowhere else to go, and Sora was kind enough to let him into his heart, nestled up to his warm, soothing light. Over the next ten years, that light carried him off to a world of blissful dreams. Free from worries about darkness and Xehanort, he dreamed only of the twinkling stars, rushing waterfalls, his friends' smiling faces, and nights spent asking silly questions, like where light came from and what stars were.
But somewhere along the way, he woke up, not to a world of light and smiles, a world teetering on the brink. The boy who once saved him slipped rapidly into darkness, flailing against the current against all odds. Back then, Ven wasn't totally sure what'd happened, but with his light gleaming through the darkness, he dashed to Sora's side. He was alone, falling further with each second, and in times like those, friendship came in short supply. Sora'd saved him once, given him shelter, and there was no way Ven would let him fall.
It worked out. Somehow, some way, Sora pulverized that darkness into submission. Ven finally had a chance to get to know him, Sora got a genuine friend to make up for all those months with Maleficent, and the months that followed were some of the brightest Ven had ever experienced.
Together, they braved the glittering purple pools and rocky canyons of End of the World. He watched firsthand as Sora ripped through Behemoths, smashed the glassy Angel Stars, kicked Invisibles in the face, and lit the air with green fireballs. They watched Riku and all his friends slip through the door to face Ansem, and while the victory wasn't as clear-cut as Ven had hoped, it was still exciting to watch a new Keyblade wielder in action. If only he could've met him in the flesh.
But it wasn't all bad! Side by side, they spied on the Organization, found out all sorts of shady schemes, and nudged Riku in the right direction. They visited exotic places, like the jungle, watched Riku and Kairi grow stronger, saved Aqua, met a ton of cool people. So why complain? So much had happened, some good and some bad, but compared to where they started, things were finally looking up.
But every day spent in the warmth and company of friends reminded Ven that he was just a spectator. Helpless. Unable to join in.
It all started in Hollow Bastion. They were the first to catch a glimpse at Sora's Nobody, but when Ven first saw him, his heart dropped like a brick. It was like looking into a mirror. The spiky blonde hair swept to the side, those wide blue eyes, but it wasn't right. The black coat, the shorter stature.
Truth was, he was jealous.
Back then, it was just a nagging feeling. What if he got his body back? Then he'd be more than a voice. He could keep traveling with Sora, keep offering words of encouragement, but they could fight as a team. Meet all kinds of new people. With a Keybearer by Sora's side, maybe people would cut him some slack. Instead of being mute to the worlds, he could speak up. Vouch for him. Even offer hugs and hair ruffles. Those always cheered him up.
Well, hugs more than hair ruffles, but his point still stood. Words could only do so much, but then and now, they were all Ven had.
It hurt.
Faces flashed before his eyes. Lea, now taller, with those tear-shaped tattoos, even spikier hair, the black coat, and flaming chakrams. A sad frown replacing his once bright grin. How could he even put up with the Organization? Just what'd caused him to lose his heart? If Ven had been there, he could've saved him! He could've saved Isa, whose yellow eyes would've twisted his stomach into knots if he wasn't just a disembodied heart. The X-shaped scar, his now cold demeanor… In all those times he and Sora visited the castle, watching Saïx drove slivers of doubt into his heart like needles in a pin cushion. And it wasn't just him.
Ienzo, the quiet, shy kid he once saved had twisted beyond recognition. Ven could just see his smug smirk, books swirling around him as he openly mocked, taunted, and verbally lashed at Sora. Turned him against a girl who meant the world to him, even if he'd stepped aside. How could he have changed so much? What could have happened to him, Even, those guards at the castle… Was it Xehanort's fault? He knew the answer now, but just the thought of him sent Ven sliding even further down a slippery slope.
You'll understand in due time… Ven.
If watching Zexion pricked him with needles, then seeing Xemnas struck him like a sword. More than anything, Ven wanted to save his friends. The Heartless were a problem, sure, but so were the Unversed. If Terra and Aqua were safe and sound, then the worlds would still have hope, especially with Riku on board. But no, it just wasn't that simple. The other Nobodies might've put him on edge, but Xemnas had Terra's face. His skin was tanned, sure, and his eyes bright yellow. His hair had turned silver, and he spoke with a low, rumbling voice, but the resemblance was too huge to ignore.
The Terra you know will be gone forever… The last time I saw Terra, he'd… changed. Xehanort had taken over his body.
It'd be easy to just accept that if it weren't for the implications. Destroying the χ-blade was supposed to put a stop to Xehanort's plans, but it didn't, and Aqua wound up spending a whole decade in darkness, all alone. Probably scared. Probably tired. She hid it well, but Ven knew she was bottling up her feelings. That meeting with Xemnas in the woods unscrewed the cork, but between the attack on Twilight Town and the news about Zack, the paint kept piling up for the both of them.
But Xemnas… If he was Xehanort, then at least they'd have a clear target. They could put all the blame on him. It'd remove all the blame from Terra, and the friend—no, the brother Ven looked up to could still stand as a hero. When they saved him, the worlds would understand that he was just another victim.
So why did Ven doubt it? Terra would never put so many lives at risk. He'd never create someone just to use them as a puppet, never dirty his hands with manipulation and shove so many people into the dark. Xemnas was just so vague. So confusing. So… scary, because for as much as Ven hated what he'd done and for as much as he wished it was just Xehanort in control, a small, selfish part of him wished he was Terra, if only so they could trigger something. His memories, his feelings, anything to bring him back and turn back the clock to the way things were supposed to be…
But it wasn't right. He could never imagine Terra changing so much, and if it was him, and if they did save him, then all the guilt could come crashing down on his shoulders.
Why did feelings have to be so complicated?
By now, they'd all squeezed into the Highwind. In the time Ven spent sifting through his thoughts, Sora had hopped into one of the back seats and waved goodbye to Aqua, who returned the favor with a sad little smile. Ven could feel it all. The way Sora's arm moved. The soft cushions beneath them. The vibrations in the floor as the ship blasted into the sky. Sora's hand slipping into his pocket, claws wrapping around his notepad. He saw it all, too, from the stars blurring past the ship windows to Donald and Goofy's bickering up front while Riku casually turned the wheel.
He heard Kairi's giggling as she draped her arms over Riku's chair and gave Donald a crooked smile. "Just let him drive, Donald. He might be a bit rusty, but I'm sure he'll do better if you give him some space."
"I just wanna make sure he remembers! We don't want another Halloween Town incident."
Patting Donald's shoulder, Goofy cut in. "Aw, shucks. That was his first time at the wheel! Besides, I've crashed plenty a times!"
Giving the wheel another spin, Riku scowled at the duo. "You know, this'd be a whole lot easier if I could concentrate…"
Any other day, Ven probably would've laughed, but none of them would hear it. It was like he wasn't there. Even Sora seemed too distracted, leaning back in his seat with a wide grin and his eyes fixed on the others. But who could blame him? He'd been away for so long that traveling with Riku and Kairi was like a dream come true. This was where Sora belonged, side by side with his two best friends, free to explore, make new friends, and go on a real adventure with the love and support of the people he'd left behind.
Ven could already see a difference. Before, Sora hesitated. He fidgeted, fretted, hid in the shadows. Traveling with Aqua pulled him halfway out of his shell. Spending time at the tower nudged him even further, with the help of Kairi, Donald, Goofy, Roxas, and all the others, too. And now that Riku was back, he had so many other people to rely on. People who knew him on a deeper level than Ven could ever dream of. People who could offer more than kind words and laughter, and while it was great to see Sora recovering after becoming so broken and depressed, Ven's joy came with splinters of fear.
Did Sora even need him anymore?
Ugh. How could he even think that? It was dumb. Selfish. Even paranoid. He needed to stop being so pessimistic! If Sora found out, it'd just bring back all that guilt. Besides, he still had Aqua… even if they weren't traveling together right now, and even though the selfish part of Ven wanted to be with her again. Stay with her, even. At least sometimes.
Though he didn't mean to, Ven sighed, which was enough to make Sora stop writing his newest note, tear his focus from his friends, and wipe the smile off his face.
Setting his writing gear in his lap, he turned to look out the window. Hey, Ven. Is everything okay? "…Yeah." Ven… "But it's true! I really am okay." I guess so. "Heh… I know. And I will."
It'd be okay, he knew it would. He just wished he could take his own advice.
x.x.x A/N:
I plan to explore this in Act 3 as well, but figured I'd get a warm up by writing his current emotional state after three whole fics. It was a fun exercise, and I hope you enjoyed! I hope to write more Ven POV in the near future.
