Chapter 10
Grief can make you snap
Robin and the others waited at the palace for Starfire. While the other Titans stayed with Galfore downstairs, Robin was in Starfire's room, waiting for her. He wondered what Blackfire said to break her the way she did.
He worried for her safety even though they were on her home planet. Robin walked to the balcony and he scanned everywhere for a hint of Starfire. He just wanted to know that she was safe. He heard the door open and he was joined by Raven.
"Still no sign of her?" Raven asked. He shook his head.
"Can you sense her at all?" he asked. Raven shook her head. "Wherever she is, she is too far away for me to access her." Robin sighed.
"She can take care of herself Robin. She knows the planet." Robin nodded and sighed.
"But I understand that you are worried for her." Robin looked at her. "I am no so much worried about her safety because she grew up here. But I worry about how she is doing mentally. I have never seen her so broken."
Raven nodded. "The best thing we can do is be there for her when she is ready to reveal whatever Blackfire said."
Robin nodded. "How long should I give her space before I should go look for her?" Raven shrugged.
"If she isn't back by morning, I will come with you and we will look for her." Robin nodded.
"Thank you Raven." She nodded and she left him alone on the balcony. Robin went back to scanning everything for her. Starfire sat on a rock and she cried. She didn't want her friends, boyfriend, or her people to see her like this.
She didn't want to look weak in front of anyone. She couldn't believe what she had learned. Blackfire was also responsible for the deaths of her family. Her parents will never get to meet her amazing companions.
If the time came, her father would never get the chance to walk her down the aisle. Her brother would never be able to grow up, and figure out what his destiny was. She would never be the same.
And to make matters worse, she couldn't help but feel guilty. If she would have just had the courage to go to the Citadel, her family would have been spared.
She laid in a ball and wrapped her arms around her body as more sobs shook her body. Robin sat back on her bed. He couldn't sit still. Starfire never came home last night. She was gone all night.
He was waiting for Raven to wake up. He started to pace the room. The door was opened and there stood Raven. "She never came home. I am worried." he said.
Raven nodded. "I woke up Beast Boy and Cyborg. We are all ready to look for her." Robin nodded. They all met downstairs and they walked outside. Beast Boy morphed into a blood hound.
As soon as they were getting ready to leave, Beast Boy barked. They all followed his nose. There was someone walking toward them. Robin took off running toward the person. He stopped two feet from the figure.
It was Starfire. She stopped a few steps from him. He was relieved that she was alright. He took her in. Her eyes were red, probably from crying. He also saw that there was dark circles under her eyes.
He took his cape from his shoulders and gently put it around hers. She gave him a small smile. "Are you okay Star?" She looked at him with sad eyes.
"No, I am not okay Robin. But I hope that I will get better." Robin nodded and put his arm around her and guided her inside.
"Glad to have you back Star." said Cyborg. Starfire smiled and she leaned into Robin's shoulder. He walked her to her door.
"Do you need some more time alone?" Starfire looked at him and shook her head. "No, I do not wish to be alone." Robin nodded and followed her inside. Starfire and Robin had both changed into their pajamas.
Starfire laid down and Robin sat next to her and put a hand on her hip. "Are you ready to talk about it yet?" he asked. Starfire looked up at him and then back at her bed.
"I don't know if I ever will be ready to talk about it."
Robin tightened his grip slightly on her hip. Starfire looked up into his blue eyes. "I am here for you Star, whenever you are ready. I will always be here for you." Starfire looked at her blanket and took a deep breath.
"It turns out I didn't completely avenge my family like I had thought." Robin looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean?" Starfire sniffled.
"It turns out that Skotadius isn't the only one responsible for the death of the royal family. Blackfire helped."
She breathed shakily. "When she was told that she wasn't fit to rule Tamaran, she gave them intel. When the Gordanians attacked, the plan was for them to take me to The Citadel, and then they would surrender to the Gordanians and Blackfire would become Grand Ruler."
"But she didn't really think that Father and Mother would refuse to give me up. So...She told Skotadius that it was okay to kill them. And she killed Ryand'r because she didn't want to have any competition for the crown." She started to cry again.
"I know that she was responsible for this, but I still feel guilt. And it's crushing me." Robin looked at her with pity.
"I'm sorry that I'm being weak, but I don't know who else to tell." Sobs started to shake her. Robin picked her up and put her to his chest and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He wished that he could take away her pain.
"If I would have been brave enough to go to the Citadel. I could have saved them." Robin shook his head.
"Can I really say that I am innocent of all responsibility for them?" she asked. Robin hugged her tighter.
"You have to let this go. This isn't your fault. You have to stop letting this guilt crush you. You endured so much for your people. And you have always done what was best for Tamaran. You were willing to go though six years of unimaginable torture."
"You reached your breaking point. You did what you had to do to stay alive. You were willing to marry whatever that creature was if it meant peace for your planet. You fought your sister for the crown because you knew that she wouldn't rule Tamaran properly."
"Everything bad that has happened, has been because of Blackfire. You have always been there to clean up her messes." Starfire looked up at him. Robin wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb.
"I just feel like I have failed." Robin shook his head.
"You have failed nothing. You are an amazing person Kori. And any planet would be lucky to have someone as amazing as you to protect it. Your amazing personality is what made me fall in love with you."
Starfire smiled and she hugged him tightly. "What would I do without you Robin?" She asked. He hugged her tighter as well.
"Something that you will never have to worry about. I am not going anywhere Kori." Starfire smiled and looked at him.
"You called me by my Tamaranian name." Robin smiled. "Is that okay?" Starfire smiled and nodded. "It is. I love it."
Robin kissed her head. "What is your earth name?" she asked. Robin chuckled. "It's Richard." Starfire smiled.
"Richard. I love it. Are you okay with me not calling you Robin?" Robin smiled and nodded. They kissed. Robin laid down and Starfire laid her head on his chest. "Your heartbeat is so comforting."
Robin smiled, wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Maybe you should get some sleep." Starfire nodded.
"Will you stay with me?" Robin smiled. "Nowhere else I would rather be." Starfire smiled and she let her boyfriend's heartbeat lull her to sleep. Robin buried his face in her hair and he fell asleep himself. Starfire woke up late afternoon and she looked at her sleeping boyfriend.
She looked up at his bandaged shoulder and she gently touched it. "It's mostly healed." said Robin, startling her. He opened his eyes.
"Raven healed most of it. It's basically a bruise now. But Raven thought it would be best to keep it covered for now." Starfire nodded and looked at her.
"I wanted to apologize for running off." Robin shook his head.
"You needed time. That's okay. I'm just grateful that you didn't do what I do. I shut everyone out." Starfire nodded.
"Now, no more apologizing." Starfire nodded.
"Perhaps one more." Robin looked at her with a raised brow.
"Will you come with me?" Robin nodded. They got dressed and they walked back to the graves. Starfire sat at the stones and looked up.
"I am so sorry that you were betrayed. And I am sorry that I wasn't as strong as I am now. But I promise that Komand'r will pay what she has done not only to this planet, but to this family."
"And I promise that she will be punished justly. And I promise that I will continue to make you proud. I will be the warrior that you want me to be. And I will be the Princess you hope I will be."
She got up and looked at Robin. "There is one thing that I must do before we return home Richard. I need to make sure that Komand'r is punished." Robin nodded. She walked out and Robin followed her. He saw something change in his love when she made that promise. He saw a hint of hardness in her. He wondered what she thought what should happen to Blackfire.
