CELEBRATING ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS WORTH OF FUN THE INSANE WAY!

LET'S GET DOWN TO BUISNESS! Here's to the super awesome reviewers!

ShadowFire2

YES! Everyone likes a witch/sorceress/angel of death with an identity crisis! I actually had one person mistaking me for a cheerleader. WHAT CHEERLEADER IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WEAR TEN GALLONS OF EYELINER, MOCK COMBAT BOOTS, AND BLACK LIPSTICK? I don't know, I really don't know…

Anyway, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do, so don't count out Harry Potter yet.

Thank you for the review! HOPE YOU GOT LOTS OF CANDY!

Bilbo-sama

NOT THE SCREENCAPS! ANYTHING BUT THE SCREENCAPS!

Hee! Kidding! AAH! FUBUKI'S IN THIS FIC! RUN! HIDE! ALERT THE MASSES! GATHER GUNS AND PITCHFORKS! THE END IS NEAR! Or at least the insanity…

Yay! Tankies for the review! EAT CANDY! And, uh, ENJOY!

Mokuba's Official Glomper

Actually, I didn't get all of the link. I got http and a couple of numbers...sorry, I got caught up in the insanity last time to tell you.

In a creepy way, her brother does look like Kaiba with long hair…

Marik's a lumberjack and he's okay…well actually, we're all pretty worried about him O.O like how he gets tied to a table and fried by lightning in downright hilarious ways.

Alister…I guess all you have to do is run around in a sports bra and low rise pants with a trenchcoat and you're all set. Still…THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW! Enjoy da chappie!

Andersonfanadmirer

Hey! Thanks for the review! It's good to see a new face! Or review…or…you get what I mean…

Odion, compared to Marik, is really supposed to suffer little damage at all from the story. Unfortunatly…not this time around! Hey, even the sane people occasionally lose it.

All hail plague infested, tan, bleach blonde girly men! Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you keep enjoying the story!

Darklitespirt

Thank you! Hee hee, I'm glad you liked that part, and that you sent two reviews! Thank you! And I hope that you enjoy this story some more!

LeDiva

It's true. Everywhere you turn, Fubuki, somehow, somewhere, isn't far behind. He's sort of like the plague…

Anyway, everyone needs a robot to kick a little butt once and awhile. I'm glad you liked it so much! And I hope you like this chapter too!

Anmarie Miriel

Yeah, being so buff and all, Raffy just had to have one a few medals in the Olympics…or cubic zirconium…

Yeah, I thought of the idea that Ziggy and Dartz were long lost brothers, and my younger brother suggested that maybe Pegasus is their uncle. That made about as much sense as anything else in this story so far, so I gave it a whirl!

Actually, we get hints that Serenity's coming up, but she doesn't actually appear in this chapter…SORRY! She will next one! Promise! Really!

The most dangerous weapon known to man in the hands of an idiot…God have mercy on us all. THANKS AND ENJOY AS ALWAYS!

Kiwigirl89

I did get that actually, and I had an eye twitch for a little while afterwards…bloody dubbers…well, if you thought that was bad, just wait until 'Kaibaman' pops up. Then you'll really want to kill the dubbers.

Anyway, thanks for the idea! And thanks for the Happy Halloween! It's very much appreciated! Oh, and enjoy the chappie too!

Pointe Master

Thanks for the yes on the double story idea! You're one of the few, maybe the only one who responded. Thank you! And thank you for saying that you liked it! Enjoy!

Gothangelmyu

An evil vacuum in the hands of an idiot. Insanity is sure to brew.

It's creepy, but Shou and Mobster actually make a very funny duo. I don't know why, they just do. Just like ASV and Double S are hilarious together. It's a very odd phenomenon.

Anyway, thanks for reviewing! ENJOY!

Princess Mika of the Shadows, Saz, Kate, Lizle, Michelle, and Yami

HWAY! The gang's all here, and they logged in! I FEEL SPECIAL!

I want a trench coat too! And French tests are evil! I've heard…anyway, THANKS FOR THINKING MY REPLIES AREN'T PATHETIC AND WUSSY! I have to do, like, a dozen replies a chapter so (shrugs) they kind of lose their zeal the farther down the line you go.

ANGSTY POETRY! I WANT TO GO PAINT MY DAD'S CAR TOO! Thanks for the review guys!

An Angel in Tears

HOORAY! YOU'RE THE ONE HUNDRETH REVIEW! (Throws confetti in face) YOU GET CANDY!

Aw…bad week huh? What happened? (Sends lots of cookies).

Marik is a freaky person, what can I say? And I'm so glad people like Azusa! I thought that as a character, she had the roughest start, but I'm glad she's making a recovery! And I am rubbish at Gym too, so don't worry.

THANK YOU AS ALWAYS FOR EVERYTHING!

Chapter Nine

THE LATE DOCTOR CRUMPY MD

In which Shou realizes she has more on her plate than she thinks.

"I don't need a physical examination Odion!" said Marik angrily, sitting in a gray, plastic chair while surrounded about packets raising awareness of various diseases caused by…shall we say, intimate relationships? "I'm as healthy as a horse! I can lift school busses with my bare hands! Did I say school busses? I meant tofu…"

"Uh huh," said Odion. "Marik, let's face it, your probably overdue for a checkup anyway…not to mention a decent IQ test…"

"Bearing that in mind, you know I'm a healthy-" then Marik started hacking up a horrible cough that shook the chair around him and caused the ancient secretary to look up at him. "Oh sorry Odion, what were we talking about?"

"I really should have seen this coming, knowing that virtually every member of your family is an inbreed…" said Odion.

"THEY ARE NOT!" said Marik. "Just because I have a skin disorder in a really uncomfortable place doesn't mean that my family is full of inbreeds!"

"That's what you said that one night when you were coughing up blood," said Odion curtly.

"Alright, I'm getting bored of this banter, now what are you two fools here for?" said the ancient secretary.

"Well, actually, I'm here for a physical examination or some other such nonsense," said Marik, handing the secretary the pass.

"Oh yes, I see," said the secretary. "Well then little brain, you're in luck. You see, sports physicals are just getting started, and the school doctor is free this period. His name is a Dr. Angus Crumpy MD."

"What kind of stupid name is 'Angus'?" asked Marik.

"Like you should talk," said Odion.

"Doctor Crumpy will see you in a few minutes," said the secretary. "Would you like a packet on horrifying skin diseases to read while you wait?"

"SWEET! THIS ONE HAS PICTURES!" said Marik quickly grabbing a pamphlet and hopping down on the chair.

---ooo---

"Bianca, this is far from good," said Tish, scrolling through a pile of paper on the floor. "I managed to print a couple readouts before this entire quadrant of computers exploded…"

"Huh?" said Bianca, reading 'Goodnight Moon' upside down.

"According to this, the 'Red Dog' has already found its way into every computer hard drive in the entire school, and now it's heading to the main servers," said Tish. "We have to do a full scale shutdown before-OH GOD!"

"Mffu Mrr?" said Bianca, who was now chewing on the book.

"This computer virus…it spreads by…" Tish said in horror.

"Hey dude! This palm pilot rocks!" said some random kid behind the two agents.

"Hello Victim!" said the Palm Pilot. "You have just received the Red Dog Computer Virus!"

"Raow?"-ZZZT-"Raow?"-ZZZT-"Raow?"-ZZZT-

BOOM!"

"Aw…that's not cool…" said the same kid, the palm pilot exploding in his face.

"This virus spreads through air, like a cold!" said Tish.

"CAN I EXPLODE TISH!" Bianca asked excitedly.

"This is bad, this is very bad," said Tish. "So far, this computer virus seems pretty low key, so that means that it had to have originated in this school…"

"IT'S BEATDOWN TIME!" said Bianca excitedly.

"Okay, Bianca, listen, here are our main tasks," said Tish. "One, shut down every device that runs on electricity, even the school appliances and lights to slow the virus's progress. Two hunt down the cause of this virus and destroy it. And three, fine an antivirus before this one destroys every electrical device in the world!"

"That sound like hard work," said Bianca.

"Bee…" Tish said dangerously.

"RIGHT! BREAK STUFF! GOT IT!" said Bianca, bounding toward the door, knocking it down off its hinges, and skipping down the hallway.

"There had better be a Christmas Bonus out of this," said Tish to herself.

---ooo---

"Okay Mobster, it's safe to say that we're in a dangerous situation," said Shou, as he and Mobster hid behind a huge recycling bin. "The Ultimate Evil is loose in the school, I lost the Executioner's Axe, and if we get found before we can find it, one of us is for the chop."

"You're for the chop actually," said Mobster.

"Same thing!" said Shou. "But where could the Executioner's Axe possibly be now? WHERE? OH GOD! GIVE US A SIGN!"

From the sky, there was dome sort of devine chorus, and clouds parted to form a bridge of perfect golden light, and then, shooting down from the sky at forty seven miles per hour, a huge sign buried itself in the floor tile that said 'Thataway' and pointed down the hallway. That's when Joey bounced down it on his way to computer class, blowing up random inanimate objects as he went along.

"THANK YOU GOD!" screamed Shou.

However, luck was not on his side, because just about to cross the corner was…Chronos.

"This is great! We know where the Top Secret Destructive Weapon went to!" said Shou happily, and Chronos automatically stopped, hidden behind the corner he was about to turn so he was out of view. "Now all I need to do is get it back from that freaky kid, and we're golden! We'll just tell Asuka we found it and fixed it!"

"Hooray! Good thing no superior of yours is hearing this conversation, or else we could be in serious trouble!" said Mobster happily.

And that's when a plan began to form in Chronos's sick little mind.

---ooo---

"Marik Ishtar?" asked the secretary to the two, who were thoroughly engrossed in an AIDS brochure. "Doctor Crumpy will see you know."

"SWEET!" said Marik, bounding out of the chair. "Come on Odion! Let's get physically examined!"

Marik happily threw open the door to Doctor Crumpy's office, and inside was the most repulsive man that mankind has ever known. He was stooped and wrinkled, with eyeglasses so thick they could replace most microscopes, thin hair in an unattractive comb over, a smile completely devoid of teeth, and a grey, fat, smelly dog lying at his feet. Marik cringed in horror at the sight of this pathetic man, and Odion tsked silently to himself.

"Hrr…yer Mrik Ishmir aincher? HAAAAACK, ker hur hee hee…"

Doctor Crumpy always finished his sentences with what was a combination of a horrid cough, and a choking kind of laugh.

"Hrrm, yew a purty gril aincher? HAAAAAAAAACK fur hur kee…" coughed and hacked Mr. Crumpy, fingering through Marik's peach-blonde hair.

"Um…who's he?" said Odion, pointing to the old, wrinkly dog, who also had a hacking cough similar to Dr. Crumpy's.

"Himer muh seener eye derg, Hobo…HAAAAACK…" said Doctor Crumpy.

"…Hobo…" said Odion dryly.

"Yerm, e's a hundred and sirks…HAAAAA-" started Mr. Crumpy.

"Okay…um…can we start?" asked Marik.

"Hollum, wet me gurt me sock…" said Dr. Crumpy, reaching into a medical drawer, and pulling out an old, lint covered sock in his old, trembling hands, which were twitching wildly. Now Odion knew something was wrong. No one who observes patients with a sock could be of right mind.

"Uh…" said Odion. "Are you okay? Do you want to sit down for a while…or something?"

Dr. Crumpy didn't move a muscle.

"Um…Dr. Crumpy?" asked Odion, walking over and gently poking Dr. Crumpy. "Dr. Crumpy, are you alright? Dr…Dr. Crumpy?"

That's when, to both Odion and Marik's horror, Dr. Crumpy slumped down over the filing cabinet, not making another movement, or sound.

There was absolute silence.

"Marik…" said Odion uneasily. "I think Dr. Crumpy's…"

"He's what?" asked Marik.

"He's…bought the farm…" said Odion.

"I don't care how many bloody farms he's bought Odion!" said Marik "What does being a farmer have to do with the fact that he's slumped over like that?"

"Marik, he's gone to join the choir invisible," said Odion.

"Huh?" asked Marik.

"He's…um, not faking it…"

"Huh?"

"He's checked out?"

"Huh?"

"He's gone to meet his maker?"

"Huh?"

"He's gone to get his paycheck?"

"Huh?"

"He's high and dry?"

"Huh?"

"He's ceased to exist?"

"Huh?"

"He's going to push up the daisies?"

"Huh?"

"He's gong to rest in peace?"

"Huh?"

"He's taking the ultimate vacation?"

"Huh?"

"He's passed on?"

"Huh?"

"He's snuffed it!"

"Huh?"

"HE'S DEAD YOU MORON!" Odion screamed.

"OH!...we're in trouble now, right?…" said Marik.

"Yeah…" said Odion.

"Nuts," said Marik. "Ah, it can't be too hard, we'll just walk out and act like it never happened!"

"You know the next person who walks in here will find him dead, call murder, and we'll be the prime suspects in the case, right?" said Odion.

"He looked pretty dead to start!" said Marik.

"True, but near dead and actually…dead are two completely different things," said Odion. "Okay, don't panic, we just need to think of a plan. Okay, now maybe if we can disguise him as a little penguin and chuck him out the window-"

"YAY! I'M GOING TO BE EXAMINED NEXT!" cried Yugi from the next room.

"Hm…Odion, maybe we can take this rather unfortunate incident and turn it into our sick little advantage!" said Marik excitedly.

"Oh dear, here we go," said Odion, slapping his forehead.

---ooo---

Seto was in another one of those pathetically awful emotional states after Gym Class, after not being able to kick a girly man's but, getting heaved into a concrete column, and a few other things, and he still couldn't get that berserk red haired girl out of his head, so while Azusa waited up for him in the classroom, he decided to consult the most helpful soul in his inspirational soul aides in his arsenal of emotional lifting…his Blue Eyes White Dragon plushie, Snuggles McBluesey.

"SNUGGLES!" cried Seto in pain, digging through all of his college textbooks, work junk and such to dig out his cuddly plush toy. "I NEED YOUR HELP!"

"ACH! Ye great, fat son of the Locke Ness Monster!" yelled the plushie at him in an angry Scottish Accent, wearing a little beret and plaid. "'Ave yew no shame boy, or were yee planin' to lock me there until me dyin' days?"

"Snuggles, I have a bit of a problem," said Seto, dragging Snuggles out of the back and cobweb covered corner of the locker. "I have a terrible crush on this red haired girl who's name I don't even know, and whenever I see her, I get too scared to talk to her, and now she doesn't even know I exist! And I got slammed into a concrete column, I failed, and I just keep feeling worse and worse! What am I going to do?"

"Weel naow, that's a bit of a relief maeh boy," said Snuggles sagely. "If ye had a preference to a lad, then ye'd have one or two problems, but that's besides the point. Evraone gets the gitters 'raond the object of their desire m'lud, and everyone has to get thrown into concrete columns and such derrin' life. Et's just the way life is."

"But I don't know what to do Snuggles?" said Seto. "If she comes around again, what am I going to say to her?"

"Weel boy, ah may be gettin' aed of meself, but a good way to start is sayin' 'Mornin'', and then askin the lass her name," said Snuggles.

"Morning Snuggles," said the Ra Hallucination, walking by.

"Mornin' Marcus," said Snuggles. "Now lad, does this lass have long red hair, huge brown eyes, and a smile of blissful happiness on her face?"

"YEP!" said Seto.

"Good lad, acuss she's right beind yer," said Snuggles.

"HI KOREAN KID!" screamed Bianca right next to Seto, causing him scream and whirl around, carrying the smoldering piece of rubbish that was Seto's laptop. "Sorry about your laptop. IT EXPLODED! Oh, and I liked your screensaver! IT WAS SO CUTE!"

"Umumumum…uh…" said Seto.

"Yer line is 'Good Mornin'' said Snuggles in a quiet voice.

"GOODMORNING!" said Seto, much too loud and fast. "And um," he looked down at Snuggles in his arms. "OH! Um, I mean, I'm not talking to a plush toy! Not at all! I'm just stressed! And when I get stressed I talk too much, and to myself, though it looks like I'm talking to inanimate objects! Really! Ha ha! Ha…"

"ME TOO! In fact, it happens all the time!" said Bianca, turning to a locker. "Isn't that right Hermy?"

"It's cool lad, it is," said Snuggles. "Now tell her of all the stuff where her beauty lies."

"STUFF IT, IT'S ALL LIES!" said Seto.

Silence.

"You're funny!" yelled Bianca, shoving the laptop into his hands and bounding nimbly down the hallway. "Well, I'm sorry I can't chat! I got's to go and destroy everything in this power grid! See you later Korean Kid!"

She said I was hilarious… Seto thought with a sigh, leaning against the locker. And she said…see you later…she's a goddess…

"Yed both be thae most pathetic couple in the world, and I wouldn't envy your children," said Snuggles McBlusey.

---ooo---

"Hello, and welcome once again to Computer Class," said the computer's teacher, Mrs. Yagasami. "Here we are, once again to enjoy the wonderful world of computers…once again…and to think…I could have been a biotech engineer in Cornell, and get paid ten times as much as I am now…and have a better home life…but…I'm sorry…"

She walked over to a box of tissues on her desk, grabbing one and sobbing hysterically for a minute into it. Her face eventually emerged, red and blotchy, filled with pent up sorrow and despair over rejection.

"I'm okay…I really am…" she said, walking over to her desk, somehow managing to regain her composure. "Anyway…just log in and…I'll try…to get a hold of myself…"

Joey was greatly amusing himself, not by logging in on his computer, but by using the Executioner's Axe to blow smoldering craters through the glass windows in the school room.

With a slam of the door, Mobster and Shou quickly rushed, and dashed around the room, until at last, Shou saw Joey and the Executioner's Axe, and ran over to negotiate a way to get it back.

"Excuse me sir, but that's my vacuum cleaner, and I really want it back please," said Shou. "Can I have it back please?"

"I had to trade a candy bar for this!" said Joey sourly.

"Um, um…" said Shou, frantically digging through his pockets.

"I've got one!" said Mobster triumphantly, grabbing a half-eaten one from some other kid's hands.

"Sorry, I'm not hungry," said Joey. "Well, actually, I am, but I'm having a heckova lot more fun blowin' up stuff than eatin' a candy bar and such nonsense!"

"NOT SO FAST!" said Chronos, banging into the room. "Shou Marufuji, you lie accused of giving a highly dangerous, untested weapon to some random boob you find on the street! I hereby sentence you to instant expulsion and DEATH!"

"You can't do that!" said Mobster defensively. "You have no evidence that he gave it away! Maybe it was stolen! Maybe that one's just a fake! MAYBE WE'RE ALL JUST MARSHMALLOWS!"

"Then there's only one way to tell!" said Doctor Chronos. "Young Man, hand over the Executioner's Axe!"

"NO! MY VACUUM CLEANER!" said Joey, hugging it to his body.

"I SAID GIVE IT!" said Chronos, grabbing the Executioner's Axe, and trying to tear it out of Joey's arms.

"MAKE ME MAN LADY!" said Joey, pulling it back.

"At least we were going to give it to him for something!" said Mobster and Shou, both grabbing a free space on the axe and trying to pull it out of both Chronos and Joey's hands.

"GIVE IT!"

"NO!"

"IT'S OURS!"

"IT'S MINE!"

"HAND IT OVER NOW!"

"JOEY PLEASE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

BAM!

"You have entered the court of Judge Serenity," said an odd narrator voice, coming from somewhere where none of the people in the room could figure out. "The people are real, the crimes are real, and their all just a bunch of idiots!"

"Oh, we can't judge this as good," said Shou.

"THE WALLS ARE TALKING TO ME!" said Joey.

"Oh God…" said Chronos and Mobster at the same time.

---ooo---

"Mmm…meatloaf…" said Asuka's dangerously insane older brother, who looked a little like her, but with much more hair, and taller. He was wearing an Obelisk Blue uniform, had on combat boots he dyed blue, two golf bags slung around each shoulder, and he was holding a gamma cannon covered in little yellow daisies, looking at a shapeless hump of what looked like something halfway out of a cows digestive system. "IT MUST DIE!"

FWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

He pulled out his government-stolen gamma cannon, and with that, began to incinerate the meatloaf particle by subatomic particle with the ultra-super-mega-sonic burst.

"OH YEAH! BURN BABY BURN!" screamed Fubuki at the top of his lungs, until there was nothing left of the pestilent meat but a badly singed table, which fell to the ground in half ten seconds after the blast was over, a huge crater in the tiling, and one unfortunate water molecule of the previously existing meatloaf.

"Right, onto the vegetable course!" said Fubuki, heading to a huge pot of pail, sick looking green beans. "Hm…they look a little thick, better go for my nine iron…"

He reached into one of his pink golf bags, shoving in the gamma cannon, and pulling out a golf club.

"FORE!"

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

He then proceeded to beat the stainless steal pot filled to the brim with green beans to a pulp using his gold club of doom, also taking great joy in beating up random cooking tools and common items that happened to be in the general area of his assalt, including a vegetable rack, oven doors, and more tables.

"Alright, now it's time for the Coup de Grace for the desert!" said Fubuki, whipping out from the last golf bag the largest highly dangerous and relatively untested combating weapon in his arsenal, the 'Slaughter Stick', which was so huge that he needed to put it on a stand, shoving the power chord in an outlet, and was about to barbeque the innocent tray of cookies so there wasn't enough to brush a microbe when-

SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

All the lights in the cafeteria suddenly went dead.

"CRAP!" said Fubuki, kicking the Slaughter Stick's stand. "Don't tell me I ousted another power generator by pluggin' this baby in!"

"Darn fuse box, always exploding before you have a chance to shut down the power grid…" said Tish angrily to herself, dragging a small handbag of her own personal electrical manipulating instruments.

"Ooh…BABE ALERT!" said Fubuki, completely abandoning his genocide of culinary failure, in three milliseconds right at Tish's side. "Hey Bunny Nose, how's the weather in heaven?"

"I don't date anyone outside of my species," said Tish, planting a foot firmly in his side, shoving him away from her. "Run home to the savanna ape boy."

"Oh, you little tease!" said Fubuki, wrapping an arm around her. "I love a woman who knows how to kid!"

"Oh, then you'll love this," said Tish, grabbing the arm around her in a vice grip.

---ooo---

"I LOVE BANGNING STUFF!" cried Bianca, destroying anything that halfway looked electronic to her, including a drinking fountain, with the aid of a pickaxe she found in the teacher's lounge. "This is the best job ever!"

"Wow…lady's got arms…" said Fubuki, limping past Bianca, random parts of his body jutting out at very odd angles. "Oh well, there's always flowers and candy…"

Bianca just watched him go by for a few seconds. However, something else quickly caught her microscopic attention span.

"FLUTE PLAYER!" she screamed chasing after a poor, innocent bystander, who screamed and ran away, clutching her flute case in a death grip, while Bianca, mistaking it for an electronical device, chased after her with her pickaxe.

---ooo---

"Yes…yes…yes…uh huh…" said the secretary in the office, talking on the phone, as Yugi sat in a plastic chair in his Gym uniform with a huge yet unmistakably blank smile on his face. That's when Odion calmly walked out of the examination room, right up to the desk of the receptionist.

"Can I help you" she asked, hanging up.

"Yes, um, it's about Marik," said Odion. "He's not going to be walking out the door at this moment because…he jumped out the window!"

"GOODNESS! Is he hurt?" said the secretary in panic, halfway out of her chair.

"NO! No, not at all," said Odion, blocking her way out. "Um, you see, he's just, um…you see, he's not quite of right mind, and he does it all the time at home, and you see so many people jumping off of things in the media today…imitation, you know?"

"He's jumped out a window for cryin'!" said the secretary, trying to get by Odion, who kept blocking her way. "Let me through! He could be hurt! LET ME THROUGH DARN IT!"

"No, really, he's fine, he's…he's great!" said Odion. "It really gives him a thrill, and it's good for the back…and the reflexes…and stuff…"

"I said-" said the secretary.

"LOOK YOU COW! HE'S PEACHY OKAY?" said Odion. The nurse then pulled out a hypodermic needle and stabbed Odion with it.

"What was in that thing?" he asked, as she injected the orange liquid into his skin.

"Dillusionalix, it gives you nasty hallucinations," said the secretary.

"Hey when are they…" started Odion, but then he stopped when the entire room twisted itself up, a scuba diver swam by in mid-air, and a chorus of huge, pink chickens and McJagger came in singing 'Behind These Hazel Eyes'.

"Never mind…" said Odion, rolling on the floor in a fetal position.

"Dr. Crumpy! Doctor Crumpy sir!" said the secretary, running into the room. "Dr. Crumpy, what…Dr…"

"Herro dere nursy…KAHAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" said Marik, pulling off the phoniest cough alive, wearing Doctor Crupy's MD suit, with the baggy white labcoat, which was about four sizes too small (Doctor Crumpy was a bit 'loose' around the waist), and he tried his best to looked stooped over, a huge doctor's cap just barely managing to cover his diseased little platinum blonde head, a face mask concealing his face.

"Doctor Crumpy…you look…" said the secretary, "but, uh, NEVER MIND! A weird Knowledge Inspector just came in saying that one of your patients jumped out the window! Marik Ishtar-"

"Yes?" said Marik. "ER! I'm…ner…e's fine…KER-"

"Please sir, you must do something about that cough!" said the secretary. "And…you don't care that he jumped out a window?"

"Oh, ner, e didn't jump outer winder…HEEEEEEERK!" said Marik, quickly slamming a medical cabinet closed, as a bit of Doctor Crumpy's arm was about to start sticking out. "Ur, derta guys a bloody liar!"

"Then where is he?" asked the secretary.

Silence.

"CARROT PEOPLE!" screamed Odion, banging his head against the desk. "CARROT PEEEEEEEEOPLEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Clamp it egghead," said the secretary to Odion, who was now spiraling around.

"Urr…e musta left…" said Marik, looking all around the room.

"Uh, never mind," said the secretary, picking up a first aide kit. "Just observe the next patient, I'm going to go out to look for him. Yugi dear, you can come in now!"

"YAY!" said Yugi, bouncing into the room. "I can't wait to get examined Dr. Crumpy!"

"Neither can I…" said Marik evilly.

---ooo---

BAD NEWS PEOPLE! I'm behind! Honestly! So, unfortunately, I'm going to take a week up to catch up on everything. I will NOT update next week, but the week AFTER THAT ONE I will. People sometimes get a little confused when I do this, so I'm clearing it all up.

So to make up for it, and to celebrate my 100th review, I decided to attach a special little thing at the end of this chapter for you all to read…THE SUPER QUICK YU-GI-OH RANDOM FACT BOOK OF RANDOMNESS!

ALL MAJOR YU-GI-OH CHARACTER'S BIRTHDAYS (how do they decide this garbage?) AND THEIR ZODIAC SIGNS

Yugi Moto: June 6th, Gemini (makes sense really)

Joey Wheeler: January 26th, Aquarius (Kind, soft spoken, and courteous? No. Dead-arse stubborn? Yes)

Tea Gardner: August 18th, Leo (not compatible with Gemini. Sorry T)

Hiroto Honda: April 19th, Aries (Crap. I'm an Aries. I hoped we had nothing in common…)

Ryo Bakura: September 2nd, Virgo (It's creepy, but I was almost expecting it…NOT COMPATABLE WITH ARIES, DANGIT, BUT I DON'T CARE!)

Seto Kaiba: October 25th, Scorpio (HAPPY BELATED SETO! ONE OF THE LEAST COMPATABLE WITH ARIES, BUT STILL, DON'T CARE!)

Marik Ishtar: December 23rd, Capricorn (Hard working? YEAH RIGHT! He's as lazy as heck!)

Pegasus: October 8th, Libera (WHAT THE HECK! I'M COMPATABLE WITH PEGGY? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)

Mokuba: July 7th, Cancer (Huh, MY little brother's a Cancer. Creepy…)

MISCILANIOUS MISQUOTES, FACTS AND MISFACTS (really, I wouldn't lie to you...)

Yugi never refers to Yami as Yami or Pharoah in the original Japanese. He is always refered to as mou hitori no boku, the other me

Seto's not older than any of the gang. He's about sixteen like the rest of them

Yes, Ryo has/had a little sister, but whether she is alive or dead at this time is questionable, as is the rest of his family

Just as Joey's not from Brooklyn, Ryo is, sadly, not British…or albino, both of which are a bit of a blow for me…

Tea is not normally a friendship witch. In fact, she's actually pretty tomboy in the original Japanese

Marik can be spelt 'Malik', because 'l's are pronounced like 'r's in the Japanese

Kaiba never killed his dad. And there's no evidence that he was beaten routinely or any other overly-sick thing that goes through the minds of angst writers

No one is actually dating in Yu-Gi-Oh. There is a crush between a couple characters, but there is no serious dating, contrary to popular opinion

Yugi and Yami are the same height. Thought you oughta know

ALL OF SETO'S PET NAMES FOR JOEY UP TO DATE (I probably missed one or two…)

Amateur, third-rate duelist, monkey boy, mutt, bonkotsu (mediocre), make inu (pathetic dog), zako (small fish), and quite recently, underdog

Next time, Yugi has to survive Marik's examination of doom, Shou and Mobster have to seek the aide of a mystical tree spirity bobble head thing, and it turns out that Bianca is the only person who can save us from the most disastrously horrible pair of underwear history has ever seen! Stay tuned!