A/N: Wow hey guys, I know its been a disgustingly long time since my last update. That's what happens when you move cities. Never again. In any case I also struggled with this chapter, it's a bit shorter than I would have liked. It didn't want to be written, but the next one will be much easier. Read, enjoy, and review.
We had run for hours. The gloomy jungles of grass country slowly fading into the warm forest of fire country. The three chakra signatures behind me had been subdued, but the minute we were back in what they considered home territory they unleashed them. Kakashi's signature was jittery, like he was worried about the upcoming discussion. Sasuke's was blazing, fury and confusion making his chakra roar and flicker. Naruto's was as oppressive as ever, but strangely placid, it was entirely too calm.
When we were miles deep into fire country, and the moon was high in the sky I finally came to a stop in a patch of nothing special trees. Three quiet thumps signaled my old teammates dropping to the ground next to me. Five years had made all the difference in Naruto, he hadn't once tried to speak on the way here. We were all strangers with familiar faces.
"We'll camp here, get it all set up and then we will talk," my voice sounded cold and detached even in my ears. There was a beat of silence then instinct made me drop to the ground under a fierce kick. A kunai leapt into my hand almost of its own will. "The fuck are you doing Uzumaki-san?" Blue eyes glared into mine.
"You're not Sakura. You're just a shitty ANBU wearing her face and mask trying to get a reaction out of us," Naruto wasn't shouting, instead his voice dropped low and he snarled. Sasuke had moved next to him and slightly behind, ready to support his blond haired friend. Kakashi was back away from all three of us, dark eye watching carefully.
"My name is Haruno Sakura, but you're right, I'm not the Sakura you used to know. The Sakura that you abandoned again. That Sakura is long gone." I snapped back at Naruto, and the part of me that lived for interrogations cackled in mad glee as Naruto and Sasuke flinched.
"We didn't abandon you!" Naruto's blue eyes welled up, but rage and pain flooded my mind.
"THAT'S ALL YOU'VE EVER DONE!", I was aware that my voice went raw with pain but I pushed on, " I have always been the last priority of this team! I have always been left behind because you saw me as too weak to be of consequence! So no Naruto, I'm not your Sakura, the little girl you always get to leave behind, the teammate that didn't matter. I'm better than that now, I've suffered and bled and swam through oceans of blood, and all of this alone. Because while I may not be good enough for you or Sasuke, or even Kakashi to give a damn about, I'm good enough for other people. I matter to the village now, and I'm important." At the end of my speech my chest was rising and falling rapidly, Naruto had taken a step back as I had yelled at him. Shock and a gut wrenching pain making lines in his face. A brief flash of comprehension and dawning horror made Sasuke's pale face blanch to an unhealthy looking white. Kakashi was staring down at the ground, he knew that he had failed me when I was first on his team, but he had assumed that since the boys left he had made up some ground. He was wrong.
"Sakura you're being selfish," Sasuke stepped forward, reaching out with one hand.
"Don't you fucking dare Sasuke, don't you even dream of calling me selfish," kunai in hand I slashed at his outreaching hand.
"Sakura," Kakashi's voice was pleading, "don't do this now." I turned a venomous glare onto my old sensei.
The three males had varying looks of shock on their faces. I sighed heavily and flipped the kunai in my hand idly.
"Hatake-san is right, this isn't the time or place. I'm going to go ahead, you three follow behind and make sure that no one tries to get cute and follow you," I slashed my hand through the air when Naruto tried to interrupt to object, "as an ANBU captain I have the rank and authority to make this decision, now as sannin you can technically choose to ignore my advice and do whatever you want as you so often do, but know that I will be sure to include in my report to the Hokage exactly how uncooperative you are." I glared at Naruto and Sasuke in turn, making sure my point was clear. "Either way I will be going on alone." Kakashi raked his hands through his silver hair and sighed deeply. Sasuke looked as if he was torn between trying to reason with me, or trying to chop my head from my shoulders. Naruto looked shell shocked, the true implications of leaving me behind all those years ago finally starting to sink in.
"I'll tell them to expect you back in the village in two days, don't be late." And with that I rewrapped the headscarf around my hair, and slipped the fox mask over my face. Jumping into the trees I told myself that the tears hidden behind the porcelain were born from frustration, not heartbreak.
(The boys p.o.v.)
Naruto stood there in silence and watched as Sakura disappeared into the trees. Even after she was long out of sight, he stood there and stared. Words from a long forgotten conversation with Jiraiya floated into his mind.
"You have to remember that everything you do has a ripple effect. While you might not see it initially, something you have done out of the goodness in your heart can have a very negative reaction with the people around you. Don't make long term decisions rashly, or you'll pay the price in the long run."
But that's exactly what Naruto had done, when Sasuke had confided his plan to ask the Hokage for permission to leave Konoha. The blond had seen it as another adventure, and a chance to help his best friend/brother heal. At the time he had told himself that his teammates would be fine. They had each other. Sakura had the hospital. Kakashi could go back into ANBU. Sai had even asked permission to help Iruka in the academy, hoping that studying young children would help him fill in the blanks that Danzo had created.
He couldn't have been more wrong. Kakashi was leaner than Naruto ever remembered him being, worry and stress had borne down on him since they left. His silver hair was longer and wilder, and the lone dark eye that was visible was unreadable, a pit of unfathomable dark emotion. Returning to ANBU full time had not been in Kakashi's best interest, but it was all he had left to do.
And then there was Sakura. The elation Naruto had experienced when she had turned to face him after killing that grass ninja had been one of the biggest highs of his life. But it wasn't until this recent confrontation in the middle of the forest did he realize exactly he deeply he had failed her. The person that had just yelled at him looked like Sakura. She had pink hair and beautiful green eyes. But her features were too sharp, her face was too thin making the lines of her face blade like. And when she yelled at him, it wasn't like it used to be. Her voice had taken on a horrible scraped raw tone, so full of pain and loneliness that it sounded like her throat was going to bleed. She didn't even move right. Before Sakura had been graceful, like all kunoichi, but now she moved with the lethal stealth of a predator. Like a true fox, stalking its prey. Lithe and powerful.
Naruto was brought out of his musings by a hand landing lightly on his shoulder. Kakashi offered him an eye crinkle, even though it was as fake as one of Sai's old smiles it warmed the blond's heart a bit. With one hand on Naruto's shoulder and the other on Sasuke's Kakashi gently guided them to sit down on a nearby log.
"You two should try to remember that Sakura has been out here on her own for two years, hunting and being hunted. She didn't have any help, and aside from sending her reports with Pakkun on a regular basis she didn't have any contact with anyone she knew or trusted. Living like that takes a toll. Right now Sakura is like broken glass wrapped in paper napkin, push her too hard and you'll get cut, drop her again and she'll break beyond repair." Kakashi paused and looked at his two old students. Sasuke's hand were fisted on top of his legs, knuckles white. His eyes carried a hint of blood red in them. Those were the only two outward signs of the serious emotional stress going on within the Uchiha. As always Naruto was easier to read. Kakashi could almost hear him blaming himself for what happened to Sakura. The regret, guilt, and just a bit of self loathing was a combination that was all too familiar to Kakashi.
"She's acting like she doesn't need you, or even want you around. But trust me, she needs you more than ever. The worst thing either of you could do is leave her alone." Once again Kakashi was speaking from experience. Naruto and Sasuke were staring at their old teacher almost suspiciously. "Listen, she'll never be the old Sakura. The Sakura you left behind really is dead, but her ghost is still in there somewhere. As long as you accept the new Sakura, pieces of the old one will come through. However, I'd suggest that you just focus on getting to know her again." Sasuke nodded once, the Uchiha was determined to have his team back together, and his team would always include Sakura, no matter how "broken" she was. A slight snort drew attention to Naruto. He was struggling to hold back laughter, and the bemused look on Sasuke's face didn't help. Finally the blond caved.
"If baa-chan threw her desk at us, I wonder what she is going to through at Sakura when she pops into her office," Naruto's brief moment of coherent speech passed in a fit of chuckles. The two normally stoic men exchanged a long look, before the small clearing echoed with fits of laughter in three different voices. And if the stress of the day and the pain they all felt added a hysterical edge to the laughter, no one mentioned it.
(Sakura, outskirts of Konoha)
I had stopped briefly to do a temporary henge to dye my hair black, and cover green irises with gold. I knew there would be ANBU circling the village, so I dropped to the forest floor, held my hands up in surrender and flared my chakra. Within seconds an ANBU team surrounded me. The captain stepped forward, and inwardly I groaned at the spiky black ponytail behind his mask. The lazy drawl that came next had my inner face palming so hard my eye twitched.
"You have one minute to explain your presence so close to Konoha or immediate action will be taken against you." I glared at Shikamaru, then tossed my hair arrogantly.
"I came to stand in the shade of Konoha's great tree, to see the cherry blossom gardens, and I've heard the best ramen in the world hides behind the gates." Shikamaru's entire frame went tense. Before I had "died", that had been our code phrase that Jiraiya's old spy network had used when reporting back to us on Naruto's movements. The only people that knew that phrase had been Shika and I, and a handful of spies.
"Well I'm afraid your sightseeing will have to wait, I'm sure my boss would very much like to talk to you," Shikamaru's voice had gone from lazy drawl, to sharp and full of command in a second. I sighed, knowing that Ibiki was going to chew my ass. As a rat mask fell in on my left, and some feline on the right, the gut wrenching terror I had felt about returning to Konoha before was absent, all I felt was a gnawing pain left over from the confrontation with team 7 in the forest.
(Ibiki)
There were days when Ibiki could completely understand why the Hokage hoarded sake in her office. Today was one of those. Paperwork piled on his desk, Sakura was in the wind, Kakashi had missed three check-in's, and there were reports that Naruto and Sasuke had been spotted heading into Grass country. A small part of his mind began planning a sake raid as a knock sounded at the door.
"Enter." Ibiki raised an eyebrow as Nara came into his office, slammed the door and ripped his mask from his face in a very uncharacteristic rush.
"My squad just captured a rogue nin outside of the village, and when asked for her purpose here she gave the passphrase Sakura came up with," Shikamaru took a deep breath then his dark eyes went ice cold, "Who is she?"
Ibiki allowed a grim smile to come over his face, his day was looking up after all. "Come with me, and I'll brief you."
(Konoha's main gate)
Izumo and Kotetsu had been gate guards for years, and as such they had seen some pretty interesting things come through the entrance. But today was going to top all previous records. Shikamaru's ANBU squad with a hostage that had been surrounded, but not restrained. Then three hours later all ANBU squads near by had been pulled back to the village, and set up in guard positions. But at the end of their twelve hour shift, as they briefed their replacements the biggest shock came. Hatake Kakashi came strolling through the gate, porn in one hand, waving a jaunty salute with the other. Behind him was Uchiha Sasuke walking next to Uzumaki Naruto. None of them looking as if they had just gone on a multination vendetta.
Izumo and Kotetsu had been gate guards for a very long time, and they could recognize the beginning of trouble when it walked in front of them all day long.
