Author's Note: I know Tali doesn't get recruited until after Horizon, but I couldn't help myself. (Also I started writing before researching and once I start, I can't stop!
Cupid: Tali
Tali stared at the back of Shepard's head then back to Kaidan's face and then back again. She didn't know how, but even the back of Shepard's head looked tense. TheDance, she could hear Ashley saying.
But it looked like neither Kaidan nor Shepard knew the steps to this dance.
Next to her, Garrus shifted uncomfortably and she turned her head to meet his glance. Turian eyes didn't have the same range of human eyes, but what he was doing was giving her the equivalent of an eye roll. Shepard had told them before they left the Normandy that Kaidan was stationed on Horizon, and they understood she had chosen them to go with her because she trusted them to keep her council, no matter what happened to him down there. From the moment they had set foot on the planet, Tali knew that Shepard was preparing herself for the possibility that Kaidan could be dead or have been taken by the Collectors.
Yet, here he was standing in front of them, everything he wasn't saying to Shepard on his face.
Tali had seen his expression when he pulled Shepard close, the rawness of it and she felt guilty for not reaching out to him these past two years. She'd been so involved with the issues on the Flotilla that she assumed everyone else had moved on. They had mourned Shepard together, but had left each other as soon as they could. For her, it was because the pain of having lost a friend was too much and looking at the others reminded her of what they had been through. She still had nightmares about Ilos and the Citadel. For Kaidan, all that was probably amplified because of his relationship with Shepard and when he needed them, they left him. Then again, he didn't reach out either.
It was easy for Tali to conclude at that moment that they were all a little broken.
She and Garrus couldn't hear what Shepard and Kaidan were saying, but they didn't need to. As suddenly as he showed up, Kaidan started to go. They heard Shepard ask him to join her team, and he refused without hesitation, disdain written all over his face. Tali wondered how much of that was pride and how much of it was hurt. In any case, his answer hit the mark. Shepard turned around, looking as vulnerable as Tali had ever seen her and she pushed past them both.
"I'm done with this planet," she mumbled. "Joker, get us out of here."
Tali stared at Kaidan's retreating back and before she could think about it, she ran after him. She heard Shepard say her name sharply but she ignored her, silently praying that Shepard wouldn't berate her for it. She was a little more ill-tempered these days.
"Kaidan!" she called out. "Wait!"
He stopped but didn't turn around. Tali moved to face him and she put her hands on his shoulders, anchoring him in place should he decide to walk away from her, too. He looked older than she remembered or maybe it was because he was tired, but he didn't look none too happy to be stopped by her.
"It is good to see you, my friend," she said kindly.
"I wish it was under better circumstances, Tali," he said with a small smile.
"Are you certain you do not wish to come back with us?"
"I can't," he said, looking away from her. "I can't..."
"She needs you," Tali said quietly. "She's alone on that ship, Kaidan, even with me and Garrus there. She is always watching her back. I don't know what they did to her..."
"Are you so sure it's really her?"
In her helmet, Tali rolled her eyes. Joker had explained the term 'zombie' when Shepard threatened to blow his head off for calling her one in jest, but she'd hoped Kaidan was a little more even-keeled than to believe in reanimated monsters. Besides, Shepard looked nothing a monster.
"Look into your heart. What do you think?" she said exasperatedly.
"I don't know what I think," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Two years, Tali."
"I know."
"I tried to forget her..."
"That would be impossible."
"Yes, it was."
"If not for her...how about for the galaxy?"
Despite the situation, Kaidan's lips twitched into a reluctant smile.
"Tali..." he started.
Shepard called her name again, but this time her tone was like ice. Tali stepped back.
"We'll talk again soon," she said.
"Sure," he said.
Tali was glad for the opacity of her helmet as she jogged back to where Shepard and Garrus stood. The fierceness of Shepard's expression was usually reserved for her confrontations with Miranda and Tali wondered how the Cerberus operative could stand it. It was like staring down the barrel of Shepard's Eviscerator shotgun just before she pulled the trigger. The ride back to the ship was tense and Shepard mouth was set in a thin, stubborn line. She also still had the aforementioned shotgun in her hands rather than holstering it, but Tali recognized the gesture more as a shield than a threat. However, she also knew better than to say anything and apparently so did Garrus because for once, he stayed quiet.
Shepard still said nothing when they docked. She stalked off to the elevator and didn't bother waiting for them before hitting her destination and letting the doors close. Tali settled next to Garrus on the low bench by their lockers.
"Well, remind me never to get on her bad side," he remarked as he put his weapons in his locker.
"Alenko was stupid," Tali said, irritated on behalf of her commander and friend. "It was not her fault she ended up on this side of line. You would think blowing up a few Cerberus facilities would prove her loyalties, not to mention breaking several rules to be with him, but he wanted to see what he wanted to see."
"It's not all his fault," Garrus said. "She didn't explain herself."
"How do you know?"
"They talked for five minutes!" he exclaimed. "I would imagine it would take her longer to explain the situation. Shepard is a military leader through and through: she doesn't see any reason to explain herself and what she says goes."
"That is not always true," Tali argued. "I have had many good conversations with her..."
"That was before all...this," he returned.
"You cannot change a person's heart, Garrus, even the second time around. She is just having a hard time getting used to working with Cerberus. She hates them and now they expect her to do their bidding. Not to mention having to command a ship full of them!"
"Okay, okay," Garrus said, holding up his hands defensively. "Why don't you save that for your next conversation with Alenko. What did you say to him anyway?"
"None of your business," she replied loftily.
"I could probably guess. Violins were playing as he confessed his love for Shepard and his pain at losing her..."
"Shut up, Garrus."
He shrugged. "They're soldiers, Tali, and we're facing possible galactic annihilation, so I'm sure they need to focus their energies on other things. They've made their choices and that's that."
"Did you see her face, Garrus?"
"You mean the scars?"
"No, you bosh'tet. After he refused to join us. She was...I cannot even describe it. We have been through so much together, have lost so much, and I had never seen her look like that. It was as if...as if she had lost the last thing she had."
"Are you sure you're not over-romanticizing this, Tali?" Garrus said. "For all you know, all that back on the old Normandy might have just been a way for them to release some stress..."
"No!" Tali said, scandalized at the idea.
He sighed. "Yeah, I guess they're not those types of people. It's just that the last thing we need is a lovelorn commanding officer."
"I do not think I would call her lovelorn, exactly," Tali said thoughtfully. "Hurt. Confused. But not lovelorn."
This time Garrus' sigh was more long-suffering than thoughtful. "Fine, look at it however way you want. I will say this; we sure could use Alenko's gifts on these missions. I'd rather not be watching both my back and front when we have Miranda or the teenage Krogan with us."
"On that we can at least agree."
Garrus studied her. "You're a little right and a little wrong about them, Tali," he said evenly. "And this is their business, not ours. If there's anything I can be sure about, it's that. They're both...private."
"Then they should have thought about that when they were dancing around the last Normandy," Tali snorted. "Even Wrex saw it and he can barely see!"
At that, Garrus let out a chuckle. "That is true. Still, it's not like we can do anything about it beyond kidnapping Alenko and throwing him onboard."
Tali's silence at that suggestion made Garrus frown.
"We're notdoing that!" he exclaimed.
Tali shrugged. "Well, I do not know what we can do then."
Garrus turned so that he could look her full in the face, or helmet, as it were. She regarded him thoughtfully, seeing the seriousness in his face.
"Tali, not everyone has had the same experiences you've had the last two years," he said carefully. "I decided to play vigilante. Shepard decided she would become undead and Alenko decided he would be the best soldier he could be to forget her. We all changed and it probably wasn't for the best."
"Garrus," she started, but he held up a hand to silence her.
"Let them figure this out on their own," he continued. "With the way Shepard's doing these days, I'd really hate for you to be jettisoned into space if you poke around where you don't belong."
"Fine."
He paused then narrowed his eyes at her. "You're going to go after Alenko, aren't you?" he asked.
Tali tilted her chin up. "Yes."
"Your funeral, sister."
"I am not your sister."
"Ain't that the truth."
