Cough time for Jiraiya to stop slacking off..

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The two had returned home without much trouble, though Naruto wished he had managed to bump into Shirasei and say goodbye. Hinata was in heaven, over the last couple of weeks, Naruto and her had come unconceivably closer. They were just friends, but before they had hardly even spoken. Walking on clouds after reporting another successful mission to Tsunade, Hinata parted with Naruto and found herself winding her way to the Hyuuga neighborhood of Konoha. Tsunade hadn't found any C or D ranked missions for the two nins, and decided that B was just a bit too high to them in her head. It was unfortunate that Naruto's team was pretty much broken up - Sakura trained under Tsunade and Shizune's tutalage to become a medical nin(1) and Sasuke was, well you should know by now just from having read this fanfic. That only left Kakashi and Naruto, and it just made more sense to use them both as fillers. Shino and Kiba had both been paired with their matching parent jounin to do some fairly long-term missions, missions that two people with the same strategies and bloodline capabilities, and other shared traits such as jutsus should go on alone. It was a great way to train the younger nin. The shinobi should be returning soon however. Tsunade could start running her with her old team again though.

Without even thinking about a vacation, Naruto anxiously began to search for his sensei, Jiraiya. It wouldn't be hard - the most likely place to find the perveted old man was probably near the female section of the public hot springs, though Naruto was sure to scan the rooftops of buildings as he hurried towards there. He smiled when the tops of the Hyuuga complex entered his center of vision, memories of his recent adventures flowing through his head. He had really enjoyed his time with Hinata, and was surprised at how strong she truly was. Or at least how much she had grown. 'I like her. You should concider it...otouto.' flowed through his mind. He shook his head, a little bit of a warm feeling creeping underneath his eyes. Jiraiya, he needed to find Ero-senin and get started on his training. Just because he had declined to go away for three years didn't mean he didn't want to become strong.

Not surprisingly, Naruto found his sensei sprawled out ontop of a roof with a good vantage of the female section of the local hotsprings. Next to him was an open scroll with a lot of writing and scribbles on it that looked like drawings from Naruto's distance, but the exposed portion was halfway blank. Jiraiya had a look of utmost pleasure, blushing rosily with a tendril of drool hanging from his open-mouthed smile as he made strangled, excited noises. Vein bulging from his forehead, Naruto made a decision.

Plodding softly behind Jiraiya, almost unnecesarily since his attention was so raptly focused on the young, nude women, Naruto tip-toed up to the man laying on his belly. Jiraiya chuckled too enthusiastically as he gripped the ledge he was laying on - one of them had stood up and stretched, fixing her hair. Naruto removed a kunai from his pouch slowly, put his hands together with the edge of it sticking out between his fore and middle fingers, readied his strike..

"One-Thousand Years of Pain!" Naruto jammed the exposed point into Jiraiya's tail bone, who after a split second of laying there, shot up like a rocket yelling with a strangled, distancing 'whoa-ho-ho-hoooo!' Jiraiya disappeared into the sun with a glint, but promptly shot down into the hot bath causing a fountrain to spray up where he had impacted the water. With a wall of screaching, Jiraiya looked up to watch himself receive something he could not defend against - being beaten by a bunch of beautiful, naked women. He happily lay there twitching in pain and pleasure, tendrils of drool hanging from his open-smiled mouth as the bath vacated after the scuffle. Naruto sighed and picked up the scroll. It was Jiraiya's apparent 'brain storming,' which was a bunch of hentai(2) sketchings of the women he had been viewing, and some Naruto had not seen in the bath at that time. Naruto hopped down to his sensei.

"Ero-sensei, couldn't you have become ten times stronger if you spent your peeping time training instead?" Naruto glared at his sensei with his eyes closed. Jiraiya came out of his painful but pleasured shock, the strange replay of naked, angry women attacking him disappearing from his mind and sat up.

In his masculine voice he said while puffing out his broad chest. "Che. If all I ever did was train, I'd be a clueless dummy who didn't enjoy life. I'd probably be bald and hunched over with a walking stick, and only look foreward to eating a bowl of hot white rice at the day's end - just like how you will be." Jiraiya helped himself up, grumbling. Adjusting his decorated, metal forehead protector, Jiraiya asked out loud, "Why do I have to teach this boring kid all my jutsu? She acts like I'm his father.." but then brightened and eyed Naruto evilly. "Na-ru-to," he sounded out the name to emphasize it.

"Ne?" Naruto looked up at Jiraiya, squinting suspiciously.

"How..old are you now?" Jiraiya could hardly surpress a grin, but managed to keep it to a semi jovial looking smile. It looked weird.

"Ano..thirteen..I'll be fourteen in a couple of months, why?" Naruto wondered if he had just made a fatal mistake - he had. Immediately Jiraiya brightened and animated, laughing a great deal. He knelt down next to Naruto, putting an arm across his shoulders. "Perfect-o! It's time to induct you as my true apprentice, Naruto, and teach you the greatest treasures of a true shinobi!" Naruto brightened, and almost jumping for joy, wide eyed and staring with utmost attention at his sensei.

"What kind of training is it, Ero-senin! What kind of super-secret jutsus are you gonna teach me to do!" His enthusiasm was beyond boyish. Jiraiya grinned wider, the red streaks running down either cheek bending to a strain.

"I'll teach you the ways of Icha Icha Paradise, so you can be its successor when I'm gone!" Jiraiya expanded his arm infront of Naruto, as if he was describing the most beautiful thing in the world. Naruto's posture and facial features drooped immediately.

"Ero-senin..I don't care about that kind of stuff." Jiraiya stood up, miffed, angry. Then he chuckled maliciously. "It's part of your training," he declared with an evil glint in his eye. "Tsunade told me to not slack off, so I have to teach you ev-er-y-thing." Naruto slapped a hand over his own face and drug it down, stretching his features. "We both know how Tsunade is when she gets angry."

"I don't want to learn about that kind of stuff, Ero-senin. I want to learn cool fighting jutsu to make me stronger. Can't we just pretend you taught me that Icha Icha junk?"

"I forbid it. I'm an honest, upstanding man, Naruto. A legendary Sanin, remember?" Jiraiya put his hands on his hips, broad chest sticking out. He had especially emphasized 'upstanding' and 'legendary Sanin.' "You either take the whole deal or none of it - and tell Tsunade yourself that you didn't want my training." Naruto grumbled. It wasn't a big deal, it's not like it was going to change who he was.

Grumpily he muttered, "Just as long as we spend more time training the useful stuff over your preverted antics..." the two left the dangerous environment (Naruto didn't want to be mistaken) to begin his 'training.'

For the very first day of Naruto's training, Jiraiya taught Naruto his strict excesizes of 'stealth' jutsu. Naruto was to attempt to hide himself in crowded places, unnoticed, and spy on its occupants while jotting down notes, both unnoticed. Surprisingly, it typically used very little genjutsu as opposed to just natural skill and taking advantage of line of sight. Naruto knew Jiraiya's main purpose behind teaching him to improve his stealth was so he could take notes for Icha Icha Paradise in place of the pervert himself, but Naruto also knew that such training could be beneficial in other ways.

The training didn't go smoothly though. Jiraiya had forced Naruto's destinations to always involve women naked, scantily clad or changing. Naruto had attempted to make his notes innocent enough, things like how many lockers were in the lady's room, but somehow that just didn't cut it whenever the two were caught mainly do to Jiraiya getting loudly excited. By the end of the day, and many beatings avoided and taken, Naruto found himself dragging his sore body back to his apartment.

"Obaachan had to force Ero-senin to train me? She must hate me.." he drug himself into his room. Hot ramen, hot shower, welcoming sleep.

Apparently Jiraiya's adamant teaching had drilled itself into Naruto better than he had hoped. The adolescent nin found himself repeating the steps to successful 'stealth,' and 'reconnossaince,' in his dreams. Ontop of a classical style roof, Naruto found himself peeping down into a private bath house, laying flat on his stomach to blend himself into the roof(3) much like how he had come across Jiraiya earlier that day. Peering down he saw the lovely little Hinata in only a towel, looking around fretfully. He found himself commenting something much like Jiraiya would've said - Don't worry little pretty. There's no one watching - except for me! Followed by a boyish chuckle that mirrored his sensei's. With a start though, Hinata's pale gaze locked in on Naruto.

"Naruto-kun, what're you doing up there! You're..you're a bad boy!" she said loudly (Hinata rarely yelled after all) as she turned and tried to make her figure indistinguishable to Naruto, clutching her towel about herself to cover herself up more.

It only caused him to laugh boistrously and stand with his chest out, much like his mentor, then point his finger at her. "I am the Icha Icha Paradise successor! Such actions are meaningless - I can still see your lovely figure!" He cackled enthusiastically to the low hanging moon in the sky, before something whizzed past his cheek. Looking behind him, he saw the older and taller Neji with his fingers full of kunai(4), running at him from the ground. His eyes, similiar to Hinata's, were filled with murderous intent, the nerves and veins to the sides of them between the ears pressing against the flesh.

"Naruto! You bastard, how could you slink to such a low! I..I..respected you.." Neji hunched his shoulders, "but..but..you're just a pervert!" Neji extended his arms from his chest outward, flinging a shower of Kunai at Naruto. Naruto felt groggy, the world he was just in swirling away. Neji's "pervert," kept ringing in his ears though as he found himself in the real world. I'm going to kill Ero-senin dattebayo.. Naruto grumbled, pawing his face to try to wake himself up.

Hot shower, hot ramen, out the door. Naruto despite his dislike of his initial lesson, scanned the rooftops for Jiraiya. Surprised that he wasn't near the bathing houses, Naruto jumped to a higher vantage point to scan the village better - a lesson he had actually picked up from his sensei. Squinting, he thought he saw the familiar outline only produced by viewing Jiraiya's back. He was far off near the training grounds commonly used by Genin. Grumbling, Naruto began to close the distance.

"Ero-senin," Naruto began in an aggravated tone, but was immediately hushed by Jiraiya's hand, without the older man turning. Kneeling down, Jiraiya directed Naruto's gaze to his own center of attention: team Kurenai. Despite it being early, the summer days were typically hot by mid-morning. The team had dressed down, shedding their coats (and in Kurenai's case, her gi jacket). Shino seemed unphased by the heat though and persisted to wear his trademark jacket, ironically enough. Wow, so she looks just like I had figured in my dreams.. Naruto shook his head, angry with himself. He wasn't supposed to think of that about his friends! Naruto watched quietly as Kiba with Akamaru, Kurenai and Hinata went about their business. Jiraiya was getting excessively - and dangerously excited the more he watched the beautiful jounin. Naruto bit his lip. While he normally would want to get out of here, he couldn't help but spy on his good friend when she finally was dressed down and unbashful.

Unfortunately his spying was interrupted with a cold-sweat inducing start when Jiraiya began, per usual, to escalate his excitement to noisy levels. Jiraiya choked, full of emotion, "Wow look at that babe Kurenai! Her face is so lovely with the exactly perfect body to go along with it, it makes me shiver!"

"Huh? What was that?" Kurenai looked around. Kiba sniffed the air. Shimatta! Naruto placed his back against the trunk of the tree.

"Mm..something smells off. I'll go check it out!" Naruto heard the padding of Kiba and Akamaru approaching dead on. Panicked, he looked at Jiraiya for guidance as he hyper-ventalated, pressing his back and palms against the tree trunk.

In a whisper, Jiraiya instructed his pupil. "Naruto, in this scenario..sometimes one must play Shougi(5). In Shougi, all that matters is the king!" A sharp, disabilitating pain spread through Naruto's mid-section as Jiraiya knocked the air out of Naruto, having punched his diaphram. Naruto almost fell foreward, bending over from the paralyzing pain in a cold sweat. Jiraiya hurriedly turned and hopped into the brush, scrambling away.

He ground his teeth angrily to find himself alone. Che, if he's gonna blow our cover he could at least stay. Naruto tried to poke his blonde head around the tree partially, just enough to see if Kiba was still coming. The others had resumed training, but Kiba wasn't in sight. Sweating, Naruto turned around.

"Dyahh!" Naruto tried to move backwards but smacked the back of his head into the tree trunk. "ittai ittai.."

"Yo, Naruto, did you want something?" Kiba's face with its trademark red streaks on the cheeks had been almost right infront of where Naruto's had been before he turned to look at the other four shinobi.

"N-no-nothing, eh heh heh." Naruto rubbed his sore spot, and tried to straighten himself out to ease the pain in his torso.

"You sure?" Kiba eyed him suspiciously. "You're not the shy type, I guess you were just..." Kiba's eyes narrowed. "..peeping?" Naruto reacted like he had been zapped with a live wire.

"Of course not!" He gesticulated wildly infront of his chest with his hands. "Nothing like that. I uh.." Naruto's mind raced. Damn it, what would Jiraiya do? Er he already abandoned me. Damn it! No, don't get mad, think, think!

"Ah ha ha!" Kiba looked like he suddenly realized something. He put his hand on the tree trunk, above Naruto and leaned so he could hang out into view of his team, waving with his free hand. "Hinata! Naruto wants to tell you something!" Kiba grinned widely to himself, and began to return to his other victim, while saying, "so, how do you feel about intruding in on our train-eh..?" Kiba blinked - Naruto had managed to disappear. Akamaru whined on his white back, righting himself up from the ground.

Sorry, he was very quick at rubbing my belly.(6) Akamaru whined up apologetically at his companion.

"Che..what a slick one, really picking up the teachings of that one Sanin.." Kiba made an irritable gesture as Hinata approached. He sighed and the two rejoined their team.

Full of blazing fury, Naruto hopped from roof top to roof top. He found Jiraiya and immediately tackled him, though its impact had little effect as the Sanin kept his balance. "Damn it Ero-senin! How could you just abandon your student like that! Have you no shame?" He sobbed, and facing up Jiraiya's broad chest he pounded on it like how a futile child pounds on the chest of their parent. "They almost got me! It wasn't even my idea to begin with dattebayo!" He hid his face in Jiraiya's stomach and continued to sob and beat on the older man's chest. "What kind of adult are you to be peeping without self-restraint anyways, and then encouraging it in an innocent kid!"

Jiraiya patted Naruto's head. "So I see you're starting to come around to your senses...I'm actually proud of you though, Naruto." Jiraiya looked down at Naruto warmly, who stopped crying and backed up a couple of steps. Naruto rubbed away his tears with his sleeve. "You managed to slip out of their grasp. Sometimes a shinobi can not fight every battle - it's an invaluable skill to have." Naruto only sniffled. What will Hinata think..?

Jiraiya rotated his broad shoulders. He looked down at Naruto - they had changed locations to another Genin training grounds. Ironically enough, it wasn't far away from team Kurenai, but apparently Jiraiya was going to take those risks himself this time. He had drawn ten large circles in the dirt with his foot, and slashed them through the middle. They were around thirty feet in diameter each, and almost touching in a chain-link fashion.

"Naruto, you've shown natural skill in evasion. However, it may have just been a fluke, so let's test out your evasion skills." Naruto nodded once, eyes closed. "Here we have a bunch of 'conflict circles.' As you can see I've marked them each down the middle." Jiraiya motioned to the pattern in the ground. Naruto looked on curiously. "Your objective, Naruto, is to first pass me while staying inside of the circle and get over the line. If you step out, we start over, unless it's to move to the next circle. When you pass the first line, we will switch roles and I will try to evade my way inside of the circle to the other one, and we will switch roles again. Oh, and no weapons, jutsus or hitting - but try to grab, wrestle, push and restrain. Try to dodge your way to the over the lines. Are you ready?"

Naruto took a deep breath and nodded, determined. The two assumed stances to begin training akin to sumo wrestlers. From the line of trees, Hinata was watching Naruto while hugging the tree trunk she was next to, almost invisible. She had decided during their team's lunch break to return the favor and spy on her favorite, blonde crush.

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Author's Notes

(1) Thank god, Sakura's one of my least favorite characters. I mean seriously, it took around two-hundred episodes for her to finally become useful. What'd she do before that? Dispell a genjutsu and bite some guy during the Chuunin Exams.

(2) 'Hentai' translates to 'pervert,' but can be related to pornographic drawings. Don't go off and google it now. Che...

(3) Orange jumpsuit, very sneaky camoflauge there...

(4) Kunai are small, hand-held throwing daggers. They usually are designed with a conical, aero-dynamic blade and a thin handle ended by a hollow loop.

(5) Shougi is the Japanese version of Chess.

(6) Akamaru's body language and animal noises he makes that only the Inuzuka clan can comprehend correctly.