Right. This chapter is later than normal because I couldn't think of anything funny. Nothing inspirational has happened, and my brain has run away. Far, far, away. Sorry!
SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED THE LAST CHAPTER!! Wow, last time the amount of feedback was amazing! Thank you all! I'm writing this chapter for you lot, if your name isn't below then PM me and I'll put it on. Thanks again!
My reviewers were:
ObsessiveCullenFan
TwilightgoddesslovesEdwardlol
BrittBrittgurl
call me
Samablue38
Uknoulovemextay
That isn't a lot compared to some, but for me it's a lot.
IMPORTANT: I decided to add a few normal chapters, as it's hard to do some of the more funny stuff on AIM or notes. In this chapter, it's possible for a vampire to get high on sugar and fall over. Makes you think, don't it?
CHAPTER 9 – WTF IS MIKE DOING HERE?
At the Cullen house, everyone was at their wits end. Emmett, being the idiot that he is, decided to give Bella Pepsi, chocolate and sherbet sweets. It's sad when I say that Bella was never allowed sweets as a child, but there's a reason for that. She has a very, very low sugar tolerance. She is now bouncing around the house, destroying nearly everything in site with her hyperness.
"HI! HIHIHIHIHIHIHI EDDIE!!!" Bella squealed as she yet again fell over the piano stool, which had somehow made it's way to the middle of the living room. Everyone but Edward was upstairs hiding.
"Hello again, Bella" Edward muttered grumpily, catching Bella in the middle of her ungraceful decent.
"PB&J sandwiches taste cool."
"erm…great…"
"Fabulicious, isn't it dah-ling?"
"Fabulicious??"
"Fabulous and delicious together, DUH!!"
Edward just shook his head.
"OMC, LOOK!! HEYA MIKEY!!" Bella waved like a mad woman out the large windows of the front room, and saw a creeped-out Mike waving hesitantly back. He disappeared and the doorbell rang 1 minute later. Bella sprinted to the door, somehow defying gravity and not falling, then opened the door.
"What? Bella, no, don't open it!! It's Mike!"
"What's wrong with me?" Mike scowled and crossed his arms.
"Everything." Edward smirked.
"Bluebell says hi." Bella grinned serenely.
"Who's Bluebell?" asked a curious Mike
"My dead cat."
"She's dead because…"
"I killed her."
A loud guffaw came from upstairs after Bella said this, Emmett had definitely heard the conversation.
"EMMETT!"
Emmett ran downstairs as fast as possible for a human, and saluted Bella. "Yes ma'am?"
"Come, my slave. We have much pranking to do."
Edward sighed. "Bella, love, please try not to blow whatever you're pranking up this time? Jasper made me pay for a new wardrobe after you blew his up, and I had to go and carry the bags for the next 3 times Alice went shopping."
"Yes dear." Bella kissed Edward on the cheek, the picture of innocence, then skipped out the door, falling down the porch steps and swearing once she hit the ground. Who knew that Bella had such a colourful vocabulary? Also, who knew that vampires could fall?
"Even I didn't know that one Bells!"
"You learn something new every day, Emmett."
"Bella, can we take the Jeep?"
"No. We're taking the Volvo."
Inside, where the rest of the family plus Mike were sitting, evesdropping on the conversation, Alice had a small vision and started laughing her head off. Edward just looked close to tears.
"No…no…WHY??" Edward wailed, making Alice laugh harder and Jasper, Mike, Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie look at him like he was mad, which he was, but still…on with the story!
"At least it'll give you a chance to get a better car Ed." Alice smirked, making her look evil.
"BUT IT'S MY BABY!!!"
"…And?"
"I CAN'T LOOSE IT!! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU LOST ALL YOUR CLOTHES AND COULDN'T GET THEM BACK, HMM??"
"OMGJ NOOOO!!"
"EXACTLY!!"
Alice and Edward start dry-sobbing and everyone ignores them in favour of watching Bella teach her protégé the art of pranking out the window.
"No Emmett, the water balloons are thrown at the other people, not me." Bella explained.
"Ok then."
Emmett turns around and pelts the water balloon he's holding through the still open door of the Cullen house and straight towards the still sobbing Alice and Edward.
SPLOOSH!!!
"Shit."
"Got that right for once, Emmett. T'was nice knowing you."
"Nice knowing you to, dearest Bella. Shall we?"
"We shall" Both started edging away from the scary, soaked pixie.
"OH YOU'D BETTER RUN!!" Alice was furious. Water dripped from her wet hair, turning it into rat's tails and soaked through her expensive, white designer tee.
"TO THE VOLVO!" Bella screeched sprinting vampire speed towards the silver machine. Turning the car on, Bella reversed quickly out of the drive, making the tires screech and drove away. Emmett was on the top of the car roof laughing like a hyena, having jumped there while Bella was reversing. Mike just stared, having seen the speed.
"Aw crap." Edward exclaimed, slapping a hand to his forehead. "Mike's still here!"
"And?" Jasper asked.
"HE SAW BELLA AND EMMETT RUN FULL SPEED YOU NINNY!! Oh, erm, sorry Jazz."
"OH *%&!! Apology accepted Ali. I know you didn't mean it." Jasper smiled, giving his small, wet wife a hug. (A/N: omg…that last line was alliteration! I'm a poet, I just didn't know it…lol.)
"Guys?" Rosalie said.
"Yah?" answered Ali, Eddie, Jazz, Carlisle and Esme.
"What do we do with Mike? Either we kill him or turn him. I vote kill. What about the rest of you? I know Bella and Emmett would choose kill."
"Turn him." Carlie (also known as Carlisle…there may be a one shot on how he got his nickname) said.
"Turn." Esme said.
"Kill." Edward answered.
"Hmm…Turn." Alice exclaimed after a few moments deliberation.
"Turn." Jasper said, everyone already knowing his answer – he'd never go against his wife.
"Drat – it's a tie – we can't turn him! It goes against the treaty." Rosalie scowled.
"So does killing him Rose." Carlisle said gently.
"Then what do we do!"
"Let him chose. He'll know about us either way."
Everyone turns towards a scared Mike, who looks ready to piss himself with fright as he listened to all the people in front of him discussing his death like one would discuss the weather.
"I don't wanna die!" Mike sniffled, wiping his runny nose on his sleve.
"But do you want to live forever? To never change? To kill animals and survive on blood?" Jasper grinned, knowing that the last question would make Mike panick.
"DRINK BLOOD? OH, HELL NO!"
"It's do or die, Mikey."
"F-Fine. I'll choose…erm…what were my options again?"
"Drink blood or die, idiot." Edward hissed.
"B-b-bl-blood."
"We'll have to go and explain it to the wolves. Bella'll get a right yelling from Jake and Nessie when we come back. Jake was telling Nessie about how much he hated Mike…now he's gonna be like us!!" Jasper cackled, looping arms with Alice.
The two vampires skipped out of the door and headed towards La Push, Alice singing 'The Wolves Of Oz' at the top of her voice.
A/N: Geddit? 'Wizard of Oz' and 'Wolves of Oz'!!
rotfl
I've got a good idea for my next chapter.
I'm updating as fast as I can at the moment…
My brain doesn't like me.
It won't give me ideas.
Oh well.
Damn…this is a long chapter for me!
I'll update soon
Luv ya'll
Remember to R&R!
MILWEC
xxx
