Disclaimer: I still own nothing, but the poems are written by me.

Chapter 8 Mislead Her

Shawn was pacing back and forth in his room for the passed hour. Zach was sitting on the bed watching his brother's face as he was processing whatever piece of information was going through his head. Zach sighed, wishing he had the ability to read minds because then maybe he would understand his brother's actions. "Would you please stop that," Zach said, "I'm going to throw up from watching you pace back and forth like that. It's nauseating!"

"Sorry," Shawn mumbled as he made no attempt to stop moving.

Zach sighed again before getting of the bed and putting a hand on his brother's arm, "Stop moving and talk to me."

"You wouldn't understand," Shawn said looking at his brother in the face before stopped walking.

"You don't think I don't understand," Zach said, "I understand. The problem is you aren't going to want to hear it!"

"What are you blabbing on about?" Shawn said frustrated. He didn't have time to deal with Zach. This note Mimi got yesterday was still plaguing his mind. He could feel his heart aching with the knowledge that Mimi could be in danger. And that pissed him off beyond measure. "I don't care about her," he said to his himself for the eightieth time that hour, "So quit this damn aching shit…it's probably heartburn, not heartache….yeah that has to be it…those nachos I didn't eat yesterday are finally catching up to me!"

"You're falling in love with her!" Zach said seriously, "and if you don't get out now it's going to be too late."

"You have no idea what you are talking about," Shawn said, quickly dismissing his brother's accusations. No matter how close to home they it hit. He had bigger problems to deal with and those concerned a certain confusing note and someone named Miriam Lockhart.

"You need to get out now before you fall in love with her Shawn," Zach said, "I'm serious. You need to get out now before you're in too deep. This is going to blow up in your face!"

"It's already blowing up in my face!" Shawn yelled as he got in Zach's face, "I can see the damn proof I need to lock that family away forever and she doesn't trust me to give it to me!"

"Do you blame her!" Zach screamed, refusing to back down, "You're no better than Ross! And she knows it. Deep down inside she knows it and that's why she continues to shut you out! Get out now before you're in too deep. Please Shawn, get out now!"

"NO!"

"I'm going to tell Dad," Zach said, "He'll make you leave. Get out of that bitch's life…" Zach never finished his sentence because Shawn had punched him in the face. His hands covered his injured nose as he looked at his brother with wide eyes; he would see the shock in Shawn's face as well.

Shawn didn't even know he was doing it until he fist had made contact with Zach's face. Zach had called Mimi a bitch and before he could even think about it he had hit his own brother. He couldn't believe he just hit his kid brother. "What the hell is wrong with me?" was the only though racing through his mind. It was soon joined with "Did I just defend Mimi's honor to my brother? No, I wasn't defending Mimi's honor…I was…I was…I was pissed off at the ungrateful bastard…that's it!" He didn't know what to say, how to react. He wasn't even sure why he did it.

"She's a bitch Shawn!" Zach said as he saw Shawn's surprise gaze turn ice cold, "And that bitch is controlling you," Zach was slammed against the wall by his brother. He could see the rage in Shawn's eyes, "She's in control of you, not the other way around! Look at you! You're acting more like a jilted lover than a man who claims to hate her with an ungodly passion!"

Shawn slammed Zach hard against the wall again, "You listen to me you piece of crap. I am the one in control here. She is the puppet and I am the puppet master!" He slammed Zach even harder against the wall, "Do you understand me!" Zach mumbled something and Shawn threw him against the wall again, his voice full of malice he gave his brother a look that should have killed him on the spot, "I said do you understand me!"

"Yes sir!" Zach said sarcastically, only to be punched in the face again by an enraged Shawn.

"You are an inconsiderate, worthless, dumbass! You have no idea what I am sacrificing for this family!" he threw Zach towards the wall on the other side of the room.

Zach stumbled before falling onto the floor. He looked at his brother with wide eyes, he was terrified. He never, ever saw Shawn this angry before in his life. He watched his brother walk towards him like a lion to his prey. His eyes flared with emotion Zach never seen before. Shawn was like a man possessed…possessed by what, he was not sure.

"You ungrateful spoiled rotten little boy who will have the world open to him when he graduates high school," Shawn said, leaning down, grabbing his collar and pulling Zach up to his face, "While I live this life! The one our father mapped out for me while you get to chose do to whatever your fucking heart desires! So don't you ever," he grabbed Zach by the collar and slammed him against the wall again, "EVER question my loyalty to THIS FAMILY! Ever again! Do you hear me!" He let go of Zach and let his body fall to the ground, "Are you even listening you spoiled little imbecile!"

Zach laid there shell shocked. He never knew the pressure Shawn was under. Shawn never lost it like this before which either meant that he was falling for Mimi or he was feeling guilty for betraying someone that could have been a wonderful friend to him if her last name wasn't Lockhart…or maybe both. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He merely nodded yes.

"Good," Shawn said, "so go have a happy childhood at my expense."

Shawn's bitter words and hit him hard in his heart. He watched Shawn leave the room. All he wanted to know was what did Shawn give up for him? And did he really want to know?

Shawn left his room, trying to control his breathing. He didn't know where that outburst had come from and why he took it out on Zach. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the note Mimi gave him yesterday and his heart began to ache again. He read it again I know her secret and was still confused by the meaning. It couldn't be Mimi's secret that this person knew otherwise it would have said "I know your secret." But it read "her secret." Whose secret was she protecting? Was she in danger? And if so how much danger? His heart ached more at the thought of someone hurting his Mimi. "My Mimi?" Shawn whispered to himself, "Where the hell did that one come from?" He knew there was only one person that could answer his questions, well at least ones that didn't involve his heart. He grabbed his jacket before leaving his house. He hopped on his motorcycle and sped off to the Lockhart's. He had to see Mimi. He needed to see her. He knew his mind would not be put to ease until he saw for his own eyes that she was okay.

Mimi paced back and forth; "This can't be happening!" she said to no one in particular, "Why is this happening now? It's been six years! Six years! Why are they coming with me for this now!" She looked down at the note that was delivered to her this morning via UPS. Someone knew what happened all those years ago and she was stuck with the clean up. Mimi didn't know if she could do this…whatever this was. She wasn't a violent person, how can she protect this secret. She needed help but couldn't ask for it. If she told her father or brother it would destroy her family. She couldn't be responsible for that, that's why she carried her mother's secret with her all these years. Family loyalty means something to her. She couldn't be the one that broke her family. She looked at the note again. "Pay me 10 million dollars or else the world will know about her secret in tomorrow's papers. I'll call at 10am. Wait for my instructions." She sighed for the tenth time that hour. It didn't seem fair that she will be the one to pay for her mother's secret.

Her thoughts shifted to Shawn. She remembered the way she treated him last night and she was ashamed. He wanted to help her. She could see it in his eyes. She wanted to help her and she shut him out. She questioned his motivates and loyalty to her when he has done nothing but try to be her friend. He took her to his secret place; the gesture alone told her that he trusted her. So why couldn't she just trust him. "I'm such a jerk!" she screamed.

"No you're not."

Mimi screamed and turned towards the voice. Her hand hit her chest and terror was written all over her face, her face quickly turned to anger when she noticed who was standing in her room, "You sacred the living shit out of me!"

"Sorry."

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I was worried about you."

"Why?" she asked, immediately kicking herself when she saw his face drop.

"Sorry I cared," he snapped back at her, "Sorry I spent the whole night and morning worried about my friend…" He turned to leave.

"Shawn," she said, placing her hand on his arm before he could slip outside to her balcony, "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed." She tried really heard to keep the tears at bay but as soon as she had sniffed she felt his strong arms wrap around her and pull her into a tight embrace.

"Let me help you," he pleaded with her. He hated to see her like this; he hated to see her crying. He wanted to kill whoever was putting her through this. He hated himself for caring.

"You are," she said into this chest.

"I'm not doing anything," he said, laughing at the absurdness of her comment, "I don't even know what's going on. How can I be helping?"

"By being here," she said. She pulled herself out of his embrace and felt his fingers wipe away her tears, "I'm ready."

He looked at her confused, "Ready for what?"

"To show you my secret place," she said turning around and going to the nightstand next to her bed.

Shawn watched her as she set an envelope on her nightstand. It looked like the one she gave him last night. His heart started racing at the thought of her already getting another one. He walked over by her and grabbed it. "What's this?"

"Not my secret place," she said grabbing it from him and putting it back down. She was grateful he respected her enough to leave it alone. "Now I know this isn't as beautiful as the lake. But it's my secret place." She placed a book in his hands.

He looked at the book in his hands, completely confused, "I don't get it."

"I don't have a place that I can call my own," she said, "a place that I can go to and leave my thoughts there. So I made one."

"This," he said, waving the book.

"Yeah," she said, "it's my secret place. It holds my thoughts and feelings. It's me."

Shawn cursed himself, more like his heart, for racing the instant he heard her say those words. He came here to demand her to let him help…but instead….instead she let him into herself. He couldn't think. He didn't know what to say. When he brought Mimi to his secret place, it was unconscious decision he didn't even know he made until it was too late. And then he kicked himself for it. But her, she thought about it and is now standing here practically bearing her soul to him…her secret place. He couldn't help but to smile at the memory of her telling him that she never shared this place with anyone…not even Ross. That thought made his smile grow even bigger. He looked like a kid at Christmas with a million presents under the tree.

"Stop that," she said smiling.

"Stop what?"

"Smiling," she said, "it's embarrassing. You're acting like this is a big thing."

"You're right, it's not a big thing," Shawn said, "This is a huge thing…a gigantic thing….a enormous thing…a..."

"I think I get where you're going with that," she said, she could feel her cheeks getting red, "so you can stop embarrassing me. I don't want my cheeks to get any redder than they already are!"

He set the book down and pulled her into a long tight embrace, "Thank you for letting me in. I feel so honored and humbled. I feel unworthy."

"You're not," she said, "You're Shawn. And I can trust you with this. I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean it. I know I can trust you. I hate to admit this but…"

"I know."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"I know that Ross did a real number on you," Shawn said, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "and I knew it was going to take you a long time to trust me. I told you I'd wait forever for you."

"I know," she said, she grabbed the envelope and her phone from the nightstand. She walked to the balcony door; she turned around and looked at him, "I need to take care of something. Will you be here when I'm done?"

"I have to," he said, "You're going to be blocking my exit." He winked at her, with his goofy smile still plastered to his face.

"Oh," she said realizing it, "I can…"

"I'm just teasing you baby," Shawn said. His eyes widen with hers.

"Did he just call me baby?"

"Did I just call her baby?" he thought, "I did! Just act normal Brady…you dumbass." "There is no place I'd rather be than here." He returned her smile and watched her go out into the balcony. When she was gone he sat on her bed with his back against the frame and his legs spread out in front of him. He grabbed the book Mimi called her secret place and flipped through it. He found it to be quotes from movies, books, song lyrics, some poems by Yeats, Whitman, and Elliot; as well as some of her own. His eyes grazed over the words, not sure if he was suppose to read it with her a few feet away, with her, or later by himself. His eyes stopped at her last two poems she wrote. They had yesterday's date by them.

I'm a fake

I'm a fraud

I'm a shell of a person who never was

Am I even allowed to call myself a person?

Maybe not

I'm an inconvenience that seems more like it

I'm an inconvenience to the world that the world could do without

I'm a fake

I'm a fraud

I'm a phony

I'm an inconvenience

I AM NOT ALLOWED TO EXIST!

"What's going on inside that head of yours baby?" he said, "Why won't you let me in?" His eyes looked at the other one she wrote last night.

Falling

There is no other word to describe it

I'm falling and I can't seem to save myself

I claw my fingers against the smooth walls

But I can't stop my descent

I'm falling deeper into the darkness

Waiting

Waiting for help or to hit that preverbal rock bottom

Surrounded by a see of faces

But no one can hear me screaming

So I wait

I wait to hit the bottom

Where I breathe my last breath

I wait to die

Because no one can see me falling

No one can see me dying

Her poem shattered his hearts into jagged little pieces that cut deep into his ribcage. He wiped the tears he did not know he was shedding. She was in so much pain. He vowed to himself not to make her cry…but how could he make that vow? It was his plan to use her to put away her family. His plan was to hurt her. He felt conflicted and torn into two because of loyalty; loyalty to her and loyalty to his family. He looked through the window to see her scared face as she talked to someone. All he could wonder was why she wouldn't let him in all the way. He saw the phone leave her ear and her shaking hands drop her phone. He saw her legs giving out on her and ran to her.

As soon as Mimi went outside she waited for her phone to ring. She clutched the latest note to her chest. She didn't even bother to wipe the tears from her eyes. They wouldn't stop falling from her eyes so she gave up on that battle. "Why Mom?" she said looking up to the sky, "Why would you do this to me?" The sound of her phone surprised her and she jumped. She took a deep breath before answering, "Hello?"

"Do you agree to my terms?" a computerized voice said.

"Its too much money," she said, "my father will…"

"You either pay me or your father can read about your mother's secret in the papers tomorrow along with the rest of Salem."

"I need more time," she pleaded, "It's too much money to get at such a short notice."

"You're a Lockhart," the voice taunted her; "I know you won't have any problem getting it. Do we have a deal or do I get to make news history?"

"You have a deal," Mimi said, trying to keep the fear from her voice. She surprised herself by sounding collected and confident when she was falling apart on the inside.

"I'll send you another letter within the hour with the address..."

"No," she said, "We will do the drop on my terms."

"Don't test me little girl."

"I'm not a little girl," she said forcibly. She did not want to go into a shady neighborhood, she needed to have some control over this, "Or no money. Newspaper will not pay you the way I can."

"Fine," the voice said, "but no funny business. You will be alone."

"I'll be alone and bringing the money," she said, "You bring your end of the bargain."

"Where?"

"The warehouse distract," she said, "go to warehouse number seven. It belongs to my family. There was a fire a few years back, so it's abandoned. No one will be within a ten mile radius."

"See you at seven o'clock princess."

Her hands were shaking as she brought the phone from her ear and closed it. "What have I gotten myself into?" she thought. She felt the phone drop from her hands and heard it hit the ground. She felt her other hand let go of the letter. She couldn't believe she was doing this. She didn't have the heart for her father and brother's lifestyle; she wasn't supposed to become this person who does shady business deals. She was becoming someone she wasn't supposed to be…all because of her mother's own selfish desires. Her legs felt like jell-o and gave out on her. She felt her body falling and closed her eyes tight as she waited to hit the ground but she never did. Instead she felt two strong arms catch her. She felt one hand leave her waist to her back and the other one travel down to her knees. She felt those strong arms pick her up and pull her close to his body. She could see them walking back into her room. "What are you doing?" she asked him. She was too afraid to look at him so she kept her gaze at his chest.

"Catching you," he said as he sat down on the bed and continued to cradle her body in his arms, "I'll always be here to catch you."

Her head snapped up at his words. She looked into his eyes and could see his heart breaking for her. It took a second for the realization to hit her…he had read her poem.