9

Padre Elieis roared a string of epithets that impressed even Dean.

"What? What's the matter?" Dean demanded. Sputtering with rage, Eli pointed at the box.

"Aw, don't tell me...that's your box?" Dean moaned. They all stared at the dog now. The realization amongst them was simultaneous; the box...the dog...it's jealous guarding of its bone treats...

Elieis was so angry that he had tears in his eyes. "That stupid, lazy, cursed old bastard! He fed my Saint to the f~cking dog! He turned away, and kicked furiously at the nearest fencepost until splinters flew and he hurt enough to ease his anger. Dean found it hard, under the circumstance, to contain his humour. He coughed to hide it.

Sam was not pleased. "Don't be a jerk!" he hissed at Dean. "This is really horrible for him! Have some freaking sensitivity for once!"

Dean grew sombre again...this did pose a nasty little problem. "So I guess one of us has to go in there and gather up the bits. I suppose we oughta flip for it."

"Flip for it...seriously? You're the only one without a cast, Dean. You're pretty much it."

"Yeah, right!" he retorted. "You're the freaking Dog Whisperer! And if he bites your cast, no problem!" But he knew he was going to do it anyway. He would never allow harm to come to Sam if he could step in and take it. He sighed, swore under his breath and started to step over the sagging wire. The dog rose from its temporarily lulled state and rushed at the fence, snarling and snapping.

Sam pulled Dean back. "Wait; we have a couple of sleeping bags in the trunk, we can throw them over him, and maybe contain him."

Dean thought that was a particularly good idea. He walked back to the car and returned with one, as Sam tried again to soothe the animal. His powers didn't work this time, the dog would not be quieted. Dean wasted no time, and tossed the sleeping bag over him, hopping the fence and flattening the frantic beast, pinning it. Eli climbed over and swiftly collected anything that could possibly be a saintly relic.

"Hurry up, he's squirming loose!" Dean yelled, as the dog struggled wildly under the covering.

Elieis hopped back over. " I think that's everything-"

Dean counted silently to three, and released him, leaping back over just ahead of the snapping teeth. "Jesus, if that ain't a hell-hound!" he panted.

Sam was, as always, thinking the problem through thoroughly. "Uh, I hate to ruin the moment, but...that dog's had those bones for hours, and from the looks of what's left, he's been gnawing on them pretty hard. We're gonna have to take those...um... turds, too; the fresh ones anyway."

Dean looked at him incredulously. "Aw, you gotta be kidding me!" The last thing he wanted to do was gather up a load of fresh dog crap and burn it. This job definitely sucked lately.

Eli had more bad news. "That won't be enough either. We're going to have to take the dog, and either open him up, or wait until...well, the rest comes through."

Dean stared at him for a moment. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He was a hard individual; there wasn't much that he would turn away from, but gutting a dog was something he just couldn't contemplate. He looked at the creature, the ugly, hateful thing trying desperately to tear their innards, and he sighed. "So I guess we take the mutt. Anybody got any tranquilizers handy? Cuz that thing won't be happy just sitting in the back seat, at least not conscious, and it'll suffocate in the trunk with this heat."

Sam knew what they had stock-piled in the first-aid kit. "There's sedatives in the kit. We just need to get him to swallow a couple."

"Oh yeah, that oughta be easy."

Eli was a step ahead of them. "We can't just steal the animal. I'll go offer Senora Salazar some money for him. Maybe she could give us a bit of meat to give him."

The brothers nodded. Eli steeled himself and trudged back to the hovel.


"You want the dog? Why?" she asked, her distrust and disdain twisting her features. Eli sighed and explained. Suddenly the realization dawned on her, and she cackled with malicious glee. "Oh of course! It's your Saint! It's the relics from the church, isn't it? The thing they're all cursing you over; your big plan!" She was beside herself with amusement over his predicament. "Oh, you've done it now, trusting stupid Lino with such things! What will all your good church-goers think of you now!"

He was stung by her laughter. And it was true; he would never be able to face them now, and he could hardly rely on Good Senora Salazar to keep her mouth shut. A frustrated rage boiled up in him, but he beat it down and managed to stay his course. "Yes, it is as you suspect. And now I need your help to set this right, for the sake of San Mateo, and his parish. Please, Senora...the dog."

She spat into the dust. "It's Lino's filthy beast. I can't give him to you. Why, Lino loves that dog, sleeps with it every night in his bed."

Eli knew she was lying; it was obvious that the poor creature had never in all its miserable life been off that chain. "I understand. But perhaps, a good price for the animal will ease Lino's tears at his loss. What do you think would be the right amount to ease his pain?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Five hundred pesos."

"Senora...that is a great deal of money. I have no such funds in my pocket. Please-"

"Well what do you have?" She knew full well that she was in the driver's seat.

He pulled his meagre wallet out, and rifled through it, counting. "I have only forty-three pesos. Good lady, I am only a poor priest."

She eyed his crucifix, which hung on a cord around his neck. "Is that silver?"

He frowned and nodded.

"Give me the money and that cross. And-" She leered out the door at the young men standing several yards away, "I want a kiss from that one; the tall one-"

"What?" Elieis spluttered.

"Hah! Look at the blushing celibate! You heard me, he's pretty, and I want it. Give me these things and you may have the dog."

Eli nodded miserably and returned to the brothers. Dean asked if he was successful. "Yes...she has her price. My wallet is emptied and I must give her my crucifix. And..."

"And?" Dean demanded.

Eli sighed. "And she's demanding...a..kiss."

Dean burst out laughing. "Did you give it to her? Was it everything you and her dreamed of?"

"Not from me! She wants a kiss from...from Sam."

Sam shot him a look of horror. "What? No way! Forget it!" he shuddered. He looked to Dean for support, but his brother's grin showed that he wasn't going to get it. "Come on! Seriously?"

Eli shrugged helplessly. After a moment of disgusted refusal, Sam gave in. He knew the importance of what they were doing, he knew what was at stake. He glared at Dean, who was still smiling annoyingly. He hobbled up to his admirer, she opened her mouth in a snaggle-toothed grin and licked her lips. He greeted her awkwardly.

"Hello, Ma'am."

She grabbed his shirt-front, hauled him close, and planted her wrinkled, foul-tasting mouth hard on his. He kept his lips pressed tightly together, thwarting her tongue as it pushed to slip into his mouth. After what felt like a tortured eternity, she released him, bending double in cackling spasms of laughter. "Go. Take the dog, you stupid boys." She turned, still chuckling, and headed back in. Sam turned and met his audience. Even Elieis was having trouble covering his smirk. Dean whistled a cat-call and Sam flipped him the bird.

"Well, I'm done my whoring for the day. Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of a beautiful purebred rabid dingo. You're on your own, have fun collecting your big bag of crap, Dean." He hobbled past them and headed to the car.

Elieis and Dean exchanged guilty and sheepish looks. "Dog, or turds, Eli?"

"I think you are better at handling the animal."

Dean nodded and tried to reach through the fence to retrieve the sleeping bag, but was thwarted by the lunging mutt. The dog's snap barely missed his fingers and he stumbled backwards, cursing. He landed on his backside, and he stayed there, pressing his hand to his throbbing ribs. Sam saw it and relented. He rummaged under the seat, and found a melted leftover bite of a chocolate bar, and he pressed two capsules into the sticky blob. He wrapped it in it's packaging and returned to the two that stood, in a helpless quandary, in front of the their newly acquired pet. He tossed it to Dean. "Throw him that. It's laced with sedative."

Dean caught it and rolled the sweet lump out of its wrapper, shaking it into the dust within the dog's reach. It sniffed it, and immediately snapped it up. It chewed it briefly as the men watched anxiously, half expecting it to spit out the pills. But it didn't. Within minutes, it began to weave on its feet. It whined in confusion and lay down, drooling. Within short order, it had its head down on its paws, and had closed its eyes.

"Is it asleep?" Sam asked uncertainly.

"Maybe it's dead." Eli murmured.

Dean said nothing, he stepped over the wire and gave it a nudge with his foot. The dog turned its head and sighed, curling up in comfortable slumber. "Nope, we're good. Come on, Eli; collect what you have to. I'll carry him to the car." He slid the dog onto the sleeping bag and gathered the bundle up, hauling it over the fence and carrying it to the Impala. Elieis diligently collected his turds.

Dean took the precaution of tying a makeshift muzzle on the dog. It was snoring...it actually appeared to be smiling. The poor thing stunk to high heaven, Dean winced at the thought of it's flea infested hide against his seat. It had a tan colouring, a slightly curled coat. It was painfully thin, but with a bath, a few decent meals, and some taming, it might clean up to be a decent mutt.


Sam sat in the back with it as they drove back to the church. He stroked its dirty ears and spoke softly to it the whole way. He was often frustrated that they failed to save everyone in this job, but he was satisfied that at least, today, they saved a dog.

They approached the church, and stopped where they's left Javier hours earlier. He was nowhere to be seen. Elieis got out and called his brother's name, but there was no response. Dean's stomach tightened, as worry for his friend gripped him. They could see flashing light, and noises coming from the building. The Saint was awake again. And he was not happy...