Chapter 9
The following morning Gibbs went to wake Tony when the breakfast was ready. After helping the younger man down stairs, they had some food which Gibbs had prepared. Gibbs then helped Tony into the living room and let him watch some DVDs while he took his steroid treatment.
Gibbs decided to go down to the basement to do some work on the toys he was working on. He needed to have them all done in time for Christmas. He was behind schedule so needed to get as much done as he could. He had intended to ask Tony for help but that was before Tony got sick. Now Tony's lungs couldn't handle the sawdust so Gibbs had to do it all himself.
He spent the rest of the morning working but went back upstairs around lunch time to prepare some food. He found Tony fast asleep on the couch and left him sleep while he got some food ready. A few minutes later he had to wake Tony to give him food and his pills. Tony was starving when he woke and happily accepted the food.
"So what are you doing down in the basement boss." Tony asked after he swallowed a mouthful of food.
"I'm making some toys to bring to the hospital for the kids." Gibbs replied
"That's very nice of you boss." Tony replied impressed. "I normally just give a donation and when I'm off I help at the local soup kitchen."
"Well this year you will be helping me to hand out the toys on Christmas Eve and then at the soup kitchen on Christmas day."
"Really boss, I'd like that. I can help you make the toys if you want."
"As much as I'd like that Tony, the saw dust and the varnish fumes would not be good for your lungs."
"Oh yeah I forgot about that." Tony replied with a smile and continued with his food. "Brad would kill us both."
"Yeah." Gibbs agreed and they both continued eating.
When they were both finished the food, Tony took his nebulizer again and then he went back up to bed to sleep for another while. Gibbs tidied up for a while and then returned to the basement to continue with the toys.
Later that evening, Ziva arrived to cook dinner for the pair and when it was ready, Gibbs woke Tony and the three sat down together.
"How are you feeling today?" Ziva asked as she served up the food.
"Not too bad." Tony replied as he took a bite of the lasagne. "Mmm, this is good."
"I am glad you like it." Ziva replied. "Italian cuisine is not my speciality so I was not sure it would be good."
"It's very good." Gibbs assured as they continued eating.
"Yeah everything tastes great Ziva." Tony added "You can cook for me anytime you want."
"Maybe I will cook for you at my apartment when you are recovered." Ziva suggested.
"Um yeah sure." Tony agreed and continued to eat.
They ate the rest of the meal in silence and then Gibbs volunteered to do the clean up so that Tony and Ziva could talk.
Tony led the way to the living room and they both sat down on the couch.
"I really am glad you are feeling better." Ziva said as they got comfortable.
"Me too." Tony smiled.
"I wanted the chance to talk to you alone." Ziva said uncomfortably. "I know that I am the cause of much of your issues with the team. I know that we still have a lot of issues to work through and I want you to know that I want to work through them. I want you to trust me again."
"Good to hear." Tony replied. "I want to work through everything as well but I just need time. This past week has been a nightmare and at the moment I just want to concentrate on getting better. I do trust you to have my back in the field so long as there is no one from Mossad involved. I do not trust them."
"I understand that." Ziva replied. "I want you to feel comfortable when you come back to work and if there is anything that I can do to help then please let me know."
"Honestly Ziva, at the moment, I need you to show me some respect in the field. The whole thing with Michael was just the tip of iceberg. There are a lot of other things we need to work through."
"I know Tony." Ziva replied "And I am truly sorry for how I treated you."
"No more following me into the men's bathroom and no more forcing me to talk." Tony added with a smirk. "You overstepped your bounds with the whole Jeanne thing and I don't want that to happen again."
"I will remember that." Ziva replied with a smile. "Tony, the reason, the main reason that I did not believe your account of what happened with Michael was because I felt you were jealous of my relationship with him. I would like to know if you have... feelings for me."
"Of course I have feelings for you Ziva." Tony replied softly "You have been my partner for years and we have been through a lot together. But my feelings are not of a romantic nature. I care for you the same way as I do for Abby. I admit the maybe at some stage, when you first joined the team, I may have had romantic feelings for you but that was a while back. Now I care for you as a friend, even after everything has happened."
"I understand Tony." Ziva replied with a sad smile just as Gibbs entered the room.
"Have you sorted everything out?" Gibbs asked as he sat down.
"We have reached an understanding." Ziva replied with a smile. "It will take time to work through our issues but we will."
"Good." Gibbs replied "Do you want to stay to watch a film."
"Yes I would like that very much." Ziva replied
"Set it up" Gibbs ordered as he readied the nebulizer.
Ziva quickly got the DVD ready and Gibbs fitted the mask over Tony's face before turning on the machine. The three of them relaxed as the movie started and spent the next hour and a half enjoying it. Ziva left as soon as the movie was over and Tony went to bed, while Gibbs worked some more on the toys he was making.
Gibbs went to bed soon after 11 but woke a few hours later when he heard moaning coming from Tony's bedroom.
Gibbs hurried into the room and found Tony trashing around in his bed. Gibbs sat on the bed beside Tony and gently lay his hand on Tony's shoulder trying to offer some comfort.
Tony cried out and moved away from Gibbs, still lost in his nightmare.
"Time to wake up Tony." Gibbs called gently and again moved closer to his scared agent. "Come on Tony."
"Please don't." Tony cried.
"Tony, its Gibbs, I'm not going to hurt you." Gibbs assured as he again put his hand on Tony's shoulder.
"Huh" Tony gasped as he sat up and started coughing.
"Easy Tony." Gibbs said softly as he held Tony gently against him.
Tears streamed down Tony's face as he laid back into Gibbs embrace. Tony trembled as he got his breathing under control and hastily wiped the tears off his face.
"I've got you Tony," Gibbs assured.
"Sorry boss. I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's ok Tony. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
"It was just a nightmare." Tony replied embarrassedly.
"Was it about your father?" Gibbs asked softly.
Tony nodded his head yes.
"You know, it might help you to talk about what happened." Gibbs said.
"I don't think I can." Tony sobbed.
"Well I'll be here to listen if you ever want to talk." Gibbs assured. "Or you could always speak to a professional if you weren't comfortable talking to me."
"Someone like Anita you mean." Tony scoffed. "I don't think so."
"They're not all like her." Gibbs assured. "There are some good ones out there. You should think about it. It could help."
"I'll think about it." Tony agreed. "I'm ok now boss, you can go back to bed."
"Alright Tony, but call me if you need me." Gibbs replied as he helped the younger man and to lie back down and then left the room.
Gibbs returned to his room and lay awake for some time thinking about Tony and his childhood. He didn't want to replace Kelly but Tony had wormed his way into his heart and now his heart was breaking because he couldn't help his son with his demons. Gibbs eventually fell asleep again, as did Tony.
The following morning Tony was again woken by Gibbs and the two men had breakfast together.
"Don't you have to go to work today boss?" Tony asked as he sat down to take the steroids.
"I'm leaving now as soon as you are set." Gibbs replied. "I'll be back at lunch time, unless we pick up a case. Take it easy for day and get some rest. If we get a case I'll send Abby or Jimmy over."
"I can manage on my own boss." Tony assured. "You don't need to come home or send someone else."
"I know you can." Gibbs replied with a smile. "See you later."
"Don't scare the probies." Tony called after him.
Gibbs laughed as he shut the door behind him. He was in a good mood through his coffee stop and the entire way to the Navy yard. When he arrived he went to see Ducky in autopsy.
"Good morning Jethro." Ducky greeted cheerfully. "How was young Anthony this morning?"
"He's much better." Gibbs replied with a smile. "The coughing isn't half as bad, he's eating all of his meals, but he woke with a nightmare last night."
"Oh dear." Ducky sighed. "That is not good although not unexpected. He relived some things that are quite painful for him. It is bound to cause some nightmares."
"I know Ducky." Gibbs sighed as he walked out of autopsy and headed for his desk.
"How is Tony boss?" McGee asked.
"He's doing well." Gibbs assured as he sat down and started working.
The day was thankfully quiet and Gibbs returned home at lunch time with some food for Tony. After they had eaten the food, Tony again put on the nebulizer to take his steroids. Gibbs left him to watch a movie while he returned to work to complete more paperwork.
The day passed slowly for Gibbs and finally at 1700 he told the others to go home, he left shortly after and collected some Chinese food to have for dinner.
Tony was asleep when Gibbs returned, so Gibbs woke him and served up the food while he waited.
Tony hungrily ate the food as he told Gibbs about the movie he had watched that day. Gibbs listened quietly as he ate, nodding at the appropriate times. When the food was finished, the two men made quick work of the clean up before going to the living room. Tony again set up the nebulizer to take his steroids while they both watched the news.
Later they both watched a film and then some TV before Tony started falling asleep. Gibbs made him go to bed and then went down to the basement. He didn't stay long as he was tired from being awake the previous night. He woke again just after 0200 when he heard Tony screaming.
Gibbs hurried into Tony's room and found Tony struggling to escape from his blankets which had wrapped tightly around him. Gibbs rushed forward and loosened the blankets from his agent.
"It's ok Tony, I've got you." Gibbs assured as he pulled Tony into his arms.
Tears spilled down Tony's face as he clung to Gibbs t-shirt. Gibbs heart broke for the man he cared for as a son. He couldn't take away Tony's demons, so he stayed there for over half an hour holding him and whispering assurances. Eventually Tony fell asleep and Gibbs lay him back against the pillows. He covered him gently and left him to sleep.
This routine continued until Friday night when again Tony woke screaming from a nightmare. The nightmares occurred every night, sometimes more than once, and although Tony was improving, he was exhausted from the lack of a proper night's sleep.
Gibbs again hurried to his agent's room and found fearful green eyes staring back at him.
"Tony, are you ok." Gibbs asked as he sat down on the bed.
Tony shook his head no and pulled his knees up to his chest.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Gibbs asked softly.
"No." Tony whispered.
"Tony, you can't go on like this."
"I'm sorry for waking you again boss." Tony replied as he dried his eyes.
"That's not what I meant." Gibbs growled. "I'll stay up with you every night if you need me to. But you need to get a proper night's sleep and that's not gonna happen until you deal with whatever it is that's going through your head. Tell me about the nightmare."
"It was nothing boss." Tony replied and gave a weak smile.
"If it was nothing, you wouldn't have woken up screaming."
"Yeah your right, I....I was dreaming about one of the times my father left me home alone." Tony admitted. "It was during Christmas holidays and there was a storm outside. There was something hitting off one of the windows for ages and then, turns out it was a tree branch and it broke through the windows downstairs. It woke me up and I was terrified." Tears started to run down Tonys cheeks again as he recalled the dream. "I ran to my father's room but there was no one there. I ran through all the rooms looking for someone, but there was no one in the house. I cut my feet on the broken glass. It hurt so much that I had to crawl back to my room. I pulled the covers over me and stayed there until morning. The nanny found me when she came in the following morning. She found a trail of blood to my room and freaked out. When my father came home, he was so pissed off that I dirtied the carpet that he hit me."
"What age were you?" Gibbs asked softly as he ran his hand through Tony's hair.
"Eleven." Tony replied as he again wiped the tears from his face.
"He shouldn't have left you alone Tony," Gibbs comforted "I'm sorry you had to go through that. Your father was an ass. He didn't deserve a son like you."
"I had to get stitches in both feet." Tony added sadly "I spent the rest of Christmas in bed."
"This Christmas will be different." Gibbs assured.
"Thanks boss." Tony replied with a small smile.
"Lie down and get some rest." Gibbs ordered quietly.
"I don't want to." Tony objected. "I'm sick of the dreams."
"You need your rest." Gibbs said softly. "Tell ya what, I'll stay here and wake you up if you have a nightmare."
"You..You'd do that." Tony asked uncertainly. "For me"
"Ya Tony, just for you." Gibbs replied and lay down beside Tony. "I've got your six Tony."
Tony nodded uncertainly, but closed his eyes and soon fell asleep. He slept for the rest of the night and Gibbs presence kept the nightmares away. Gibbs slept uneasily during the night. He had come to the decision that tomorrow he would have to talk to Tony about the nightmares and about Tony's parents. He didn't want to hurt Tony by bringing up more painful memories, but he knew it had to be done. The more he thought about it the more he hated Tony's parents especially his father. He could never have left Kelly alone no matter what.
A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews and alerts. I may not get a chance to post another chapter until maybe Sunday, possibly Monday as I'll be away for the weekend. Sorry!
We are very near the end now, only one or two chapters left.
