Damn beeyotch, now what was I gonna do? Jacob was too sexy to just sit here in this car by his sexy self. Time to hit up some honeys of my own. I sent out a massive text message to all the mamacitas in my phonebook.

"Sup ma? It's your boy Jakizzle. Hit me up if you want to get down and dirty tonight. You know you want me."

I sat there and waited. Suddenly, my text message bell went off. Aha, a text already! I knew the ladies couldn't resist the Jakesters.

"Jacob Ladanian Black, what does getting down and dirty mean?" SHIT, I ACCIDENTLY SENT IT TO THE CRIPPLE IN THE WHEELCHAIR!

"Nothing old man, now never text me again. I know where you live," I texted my dad back. That oughta teach him not to text me and waste my unlimited texting anymore!

"Yo Jake, down for a wolf pack bang at my place tonight? I got the bootycalls." It was my homeboy Paul! I knew that nigga would come through and help a brotha out with his needs.

"Hell yeah I do, breezy! I'll phase and head there right now. See ya in a bit sawoooop," I replied.

Suddenly I saw Tayshaun walking out of the library with a shawtay on each arm. Efff that ishhh, I was getting some REAL booty meat tonight. I hopped out of his ghetto ass whip and told that playa hater what was up.

"Look, Tay, the Jake Machine is heading out of this joint. See ya wouldn't wanna be ya!"

"Damn Jacob, no need to get loud!" Tayshaun said as he stepped towards me.

"Mofo you ain't got nothin on me! I'd go coastal on your ugly ass but I got some fiyynee chicas to tap so sawoooop deuces I'm out catcha ya later on the flipside!"