A/N: The sky is blue. Yeah…I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Oh, and Millie, thank you. You may be a guest reviewer, but I still want to thank you for the kind words somehow. You affirmed a stylistic choice I made and told me that the biggest problem I've been having isn't such a big problem. You may not know how much that helps, but it does. So I'll say it again; thank you.


Christmas was approaching, and the weather along with it. Snow began to coat the ground as December proceeded, which meant that the Weasley twins had one more way to prank people. They'd enchanted some snowballs to follow Professor Quirrell around, bouncing off of his turban, among other things. Not that they needed more ways to. They had successfully pranked Harry six times since their trick in the Great Hall. The only reason it hadn't been seven was that Harry had a minor defense enchantment on his robes that Blaise had taught him. It had been enough to keep any funny business his roommates tried from bothering his robes, and anything else he'd put it on, but after their attempt to pour some fowl-smelling liquid all over him had failed due to quick feet and a prasul presul, Fred and George had simply filled his shower pipe with the same liquid. No one knew how on earth they'd managed such a thing, nor how they knew that he showered first in the morning to specifically target him. But part of the floor was charmed to repel the substance (which Harry's roommates so kindly informed him was called stinksap before leaving him to deal with it alone.) The clean bits spelled out, in those damned Weasleys' handwriting:

There's always a way around defenses, Harry

That evening, the twins had been alarmed to find that their dinner contained a rather alarming amount of something that tasted like urine. No one knew just how someone had managed to get something past the Weasley twins, but everyone had thought it amusing to see them hacking and coughing at a mealtime, as he imagined they'd caused such behavior in others fairly often.

That night in the common room, Harry had quietly handed Blaise five galleons and expressed his thanks for teaching him the nearly unheard of charm for changing the taste of a substance. The only downside was the short range it was effective in. But Fred and George sat with Hermione and Neville often enough anyway, so they hadn't suspected anything when the pair had approached them for tips on their charm work. The greatest pranksters in the school may have checked all of their food before eating it, but that did no good if someone could quietly cast a spell after they checked. As they themselves had said, there's always a way around someone's defenses.

The only problem was that now Fred and George had made sure Harry knew he would never be safe in the castle again, via Hermione and Neville. Fortunately, his friends seemed to have kept their part of the prank quiet, so Harry only had to worry about protecting himself. He even had an idea how to stay safe. The only problem was acting on his idea. Harry's nerve was beginning to fail him. But the thought of the stinksap shower kept him going.

Harry came to a stop outside of a door in the boy's hallway of the dorms. This was where the third year boys lived. He knocked. Leeroy had talked to him a few times since their initial dinner chat, so he shouldn't be unwelcome. Hopefully. The door opened.

"Harry!" Leeroy exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

Harry swallowed his surprise. He hadn't expected Leeroy to be the one to answer the door. "I'm here to discuss something that might interest you," he said. He'd heard enough conversations in the common room to know that specifics were never mentioned in public.

Leeroy's expression became quite knowing. "Ah, then come in. There's no one else in right now." That wasn't terribly surprising; it was the middle of the afternoon. Harry had only watched to be sure that Leeroy was there. As he entered the room, Leeroy gestured to a chair beside one of the beds. Harry sat on it. The older boy then sat on the bed in question.

"So," Leeroy said, "what are you here to talk about?"

Harry paused, letting his plan whirl through his head one last time. "I'm sure you've heard of my trouble with the Weasley twins?" Leeroy nodded. "It's become quite clear to me that I'm a bit out of my depth. I'd like to ask for some help."

"You, need help with the Weasley twins?" Leeroy asked incredulously, "I hear you held your own with them quite well."

"I did," Harry said, not wanting to argue that point, "but they've still got two full years of magical education on me. I can only research so much in the library, and they've been perfecting their craft for years."

The older boy nodded, conceding the point, "So what do you want from me?" he asked.

This was the difficult part. Harry didn't want to look like a weakling asking for help, he'd seen people ridiculed for that anywhere there weren't witnesses from other houses. But at the same time, Harry did need help. "I was thinking about what you said the first time we talked. You said that I was in a unique position to make friends you would normally never be able to talk to. If I can best the Weasley twins, plenty of those people will look at me just that much more favorably. The only problem is that I don't know much of their history, or any of the spells they would have learned in their normal education. But you do."

Leeroy considered that. "And you think that you can outsmart the Weasley twins?"

"Of course I can. I already have, and if you agree, I'll have at least one other Slytherin mind helping me. Add to that the crowd of people willing to help take those damn twins down a notch and they won't know what hit them." Harry wasn't quite as confident as that, actually, but he didn't think it would be wise to tell Leeroy that. If people still believed that he'd personally fought the troll, showing any kind of weakness would be out of character. And despite his best efforts, most people still did believe that he'd killed a troll.

"Alright then," Leeroy said after a pause, "I'll help you. I can hardly let a friend go without a little assistance, can I?"

"Of course you can't, you need my help getting your politics into Gryffindor," Harry said.

That gave Leeroy a bit of pause. After several moments, the boy said, "I think that you'll go quite far here, Harry."

Nodding, Harry stood up, "Thank you. But unless you have something else to discuss, I had better be off. Even if I didn't have homework, Hermione would find something for me to do. She's merciless." Harry chuckled slightly. Leeroy just fixed him with an odd look.

"I suppose I'll see you around then?" the older boy asked.

"Yes," Harry said. With one last wave, he left the room. As he shut the door, he let out a massive sigh of relief. He'd thought learning magic was hard. Then he'd started trying to figure out the relationships of Slytherin house. Shaking his head slightly, Harry headed back to the library. He had potions tomorrow, and he wasn't sure that even Hermione had finished their essay yet. He needed to get to work.


After several hours of work the previous evening perfecting their essays, Harry, Hermione and Neville sat comfortably in their seats in the dungeon. Professor Snape stood at the head of the room, staring them down. This was how classes always started; he would stand there and stare at the door until precisely when class was to begin, and when it did he would promptly announce their brew for the day, occasionally offer some minor caution mixed in with snide commentary of their sub-par skills, before settling down to work on something at his desk. Periodically throughout the lesson he would get up to walk about the room, correcting any minor mistakes and removing points from the Gryffindors for anything he could find that might merit it. Today, however, something about the potion caught Harry's eye.

"Neville, isn't solidago a healing herb?" he asked. Neville looked up at him across the potion. Today, Hermione was working with Lavender Brown, so Neville was with Harry.

"Well, yeah, I guess. It reacts pretty badly with ashwinder feathers though…" Neville suddenly looked down in a panic. "Like these ones!"

"Relax, Neville," Harry said, "We haven't put the feathers in yet. What kind of bad reaction are we talking about?" As if to answer this question, Ron Weasley and Seamus Finnegan's cauldron began to boil over across the room. The two boys scrambled away from it, and Professor Snape swooped in.

"I-if they touch it, it could be burns, I think, Neville said. S-solidago is poisonous to ashwinders, and their feathers don't react well with it either!" Harry peripherally registered the points being taken from Gryffindor as Snape vanished Weasley and Finnegan's potion.

"How do we stop that from happening, Neville?" Harry asked. He checked the book, and it seemed they needed to put the feathers in next. "We gotta figure this out fast, we need those feathers in soon."

"Well, if we do like the book says and crush the feathers, the reaction should be milder, but you need specifically prepared pestle to safely crush ashwinder feathers…" Harry glanced up at the board. Professor Snape usually mentioned things like this, why hadn't he today? But there it was, written plainly on the board, a small side-note to step 5.

"The properly prepared pestles are in the supply cupboard, third shelf. Be sure to use them."

Harry rushed over to the supply cupboard, and hurriedly opened the doors. Sure enough, the third shelf had pestles on it. Harry grabbed one and ran back over to Neville, handing it off. "Use this," he said, "and hurry. I think we have about a minute before those feathers need to be in the potion." Neville nodded rapidly and got to work. Harry went back to his seat and checked over all the directions in the book they hadn't yet gotten to. They all matched the directions on the board, no more unexpected surprises. Still, it was bugging Harry that Snape hadn't mentioned the pestles. He always mentioned things like that before class. But as Neville tipped the ground up feathers into the potion, Harry needed to stir it, and after that he quickly got reabsorbed into the process. But after class, Harry brought it back up.

"What was up with Professor Snape today? He's never forgotten to tell us to be careful of dangerous potion ingredients before, even if he does usually skim over any details. At least we know where to be careful, but today…" Harry trailed off, trying to make sense of it.

To his surprise, Hermione piped up immediately, "Oh I thought that was obvious. He assigned us reading in the book that covered the topic last week, and our essay topic even covered it a bit. Knowing him, I bet Snape wanted anyone who wasn't paying enough attention to their work to mess up in class, as a sort of comeuppance. It is kind of fitting, you have to admit."

"Fitting, Hermione?" Harry asked in disbelief. "Are you sure you aren't just happy that it was Ron Weasley that messed up?"

Hermione turned pink. "Alright, that might have something to do with it. He's just such a loudmouth, and he never does his work on time! Even if he hadn't called me a traitor for befriending "the enemy" I doubt he and I would have seen eye to eye."

Harry smirked. "Fair enough. I can't say I'm too fond of any Weasleys at the moment either." Neville snorted at that.

"Alright, but what really caught my eye was the ingredient the ashwinder feathers were reacting with," Hermione said.

"Solidago, right?"

"Yes. It's a flower usually used for healing."

"Yeah, that's what caught my eye about it," Harry said.

"More than that though, it means 'solidarity' in the language of flowers. And this potion was sure to draw everyone's attention to the reacting ingredients, right?"

"Yeah…" Harry said. "Wait, you think this was another message?"

Hermione grinned, "Yep. I think he's heard of the brewing prank war between you and the Weasley twins, or just guessed the truth from the show in the Great Hall a few days ago. I think he was offering you some kind of help. I just can't figure out how Snape would help you. I mean, I get that he's only acting like he ignores you, but I can't figure him doing anything that would make it look like he's stopped ignoring you. And he's Snape! He wouldn't help a student who's in trouble, he'd take points away from them for whatever they did."

"Nothing's ever simple in Slytherin," Harry grumbled. It was the one constant in his house, it seemed, and it irritated him to no end. "Still, it's something to keep in mind. If nothing else, it might be nice to have a secret family friend who can help out if I get into trouble."

"If you say so," Neville said, "But I wouldn't go to Snape for help in something like a prank war. I can't see him taking kindly to that."

"Yeah," Harry sighed, "I didn't say it made sense. But anyway, what do you say we start early on our homework this time? Last night was not fun."

"I slept perfectly well," Hermione said in a superior tone.

"Yes, I was thinking that we could follow your example," Harry said. "Maybe after lunch we get started in the library?"

"Yeah," Neville agreed, "That would be a good idea."

Hermione just smiled. "I did warn you two that you needed to get working. Several times. I'll only help you out when you're doing your work on time."

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry said with only a hint of exasperation, "I'll see you after lunch." Then he turned right and walked straight through a wall, taking a shortcut he'd discovered during one of his midnight wanderings. Behind him, he heard Neville's annoyed voice.

"I hate it when he does that. I've tried to follow him, but by the time I've found the opening he's…" Harry rounded a corner with a grin on his face. Maybe someday he'd teach them.


Over the next few weeks, Harry learned many things from Leeroy. He wasn't surprised to learn how active the twins had been as pranksters, as he was learning that lesson firsthand. He had, however been surprised at their creativity and ingenuity. Filling the Slytherin first year's dorm pipes with stinksap had been only one of their many pranks that left everyone wondering how on Earth they had managed it. As Leeroy told Harry the stories of all the pranks the twins had pulled, or at least the big ones that everyone remembered, Harry couldn't help but wonder when the two of them found time to sleep, let alone study. Having considered a great many pranks of his own, (he was in the middle of a prank war, after all) he judged that Fred and George probably spent an average of three days preparing for their big pranks, and their trademark was leaving everyone clueless to how they'd pulled it off. That took effort, and time, and Harry was fairly certain he wouldn't be able to match them. He'd have to figure out some other way to keep up with them, and hopefully even get them to back off a bit.

On the bright side, however, Leeroy had agreed to tutor him on some of the more accessible third year spells that might come in handy. Detection spells for his food and drink, more serious warding for his personal possessions, and even the shielding charm. The shielding charm was rather difficult, however.

"Try again, Harry," Leeroy said for what seemed like the hundredth time. He was only casting stinging jinxes, but they still hurt, and Harry was getting a bit frustrated.

"When exactly did you say you learned about this again?" he demanded.

"I didn't," Leeroy said shortly, "But if it's so important to you, I could cast this spell by the time I was seven. Wizarding children may not be allowed wands, but with enough practice they can gain a measure of control over their accidental magic. My parents wanted to be sure that I could defend myself should anything ever happen to me, and so they put me through far worse than what I am doing to you in an effort to teach me that control."

"You can do magic without a wand?" Harry asked.

"It's much harder that way," Leeroy said, "But yes, I can. Most people only ever learn the basics without their wand, if they even bother. It's not exactly a practical skill when everyone carries a wand anyway."

"Can you teach me?"

Leeroy looked at him speculatively. "Perhaps. But after you've learned protego. It's easier to learn spells with a wand first, and you should know how to shield yourself. Now, are you ready?" Harry sighed, but raised his wand.

"Piqta!"

"Protego!" A shield briefly flickered in front of Harry, and for a moment his spirits rose, but it dissipated before the stinging jinx even touched it. "Ow!" He rubbed his chest as the stinging faded.

Leeroy raised an eyebrow. "Good job. That's farther than I got on my second day. Now let's see if you can hold it up this time. Piqta!"

"Protego!" This time the shield was more solid, as Harry focused his determination not to get stung into it. As the jinx passed through it, however, it dissipated. Fortunately, it took the jinx with it.

"Nice work. Now let's see if you can make it a bit more durable. I'm hardly trying to hurt you, and if you're defending yourself you need your shield to stand up to at least one serious spell as you make for sturdier cover."

Harry nodded, raising his wand once more. As the jinx headed toward him, he focused all his might into his wand as he incanted, "Protego!" This time, the shield held, and the stinging jinx splashed into it, dissipating. Harry felt the shield drain a fair amount of energy from him as it did so, but then he was fine, and the shield was still holding.

"Well done, Harry. There's really not much more to teach, unless you want to get into the tactics of when to use it, which I really don't. I'd recommend you get some practice in, and try to make it as strong as you can, but other than that, I think we're done here."

"Right. Thanks," Harry said standing up to leave.

"Don't mention it. Just go out there and show those Weasleys a thing or two."

Harry grinned at the thought. "I'll do that."

As he walked back down the hall to his own dorm for the night, Harry considered his plans for actually getting back at Fred and George. They'd backed off a bit since he made their dinner taste like urine, but Harry didn't feel safe at all. Leeroy had confirmed his suspicions that this tended to mean they were planning something big. This meant that Harry's first concern was self-defense. He had enchanted everything he owned with wards that would sting anyone who tried to touch them, and then erect a shield to keep any persistent hands off. He'd also begun checking all of his food and drink for tampering, as well as entering any situation he could see a possible prank occurring in with extra caution. So far, it seemed to be working. But he also didn't have evidence the twins had tried anything. It was maddening.

To keep himself from going insane, he'd discussed a few possibilities with Hermione and Neville. As far as he could tell, the twins were at least as cautious as him, even if they didn't usually look it. He'd have to surprise them, or come up with something they hadn't yet. As far as he could tell, that would probably mean resorting to muggle methods. As wizarding children, their knowledge of muggle pranks was incredibly limited, where Hermione had grown up picked on by many rather creative and rude bullies. Harry knew a few good pranks too, though most of them had been daydreams of things he might try on Dudley, as the boy and his gang had tended to resort to chasing him down and punching him a lot. Between Harry and Hermione, they had come up with one thing that could work, for a start.

The idea of a bucket on a door was a very old one, but with a little magic, it could become far better. Their idea was to levitate a bucket over the door to the Gryffindor common room and dump it as the twins walked out. Hermione and Neville had been hesitant at first, but then Harry had told them about finding the Gryffindor tower during his explorations. It was hardly a well-kept secret where it was, and the entrance was guarded by the portrait of the fat lady anyway. Harry also happened to know of a secret passage that led nearly right to the portrait, and his plan was to hide inside that in the morning, waiting for the twins to come out. After he drenched them, he'd hightail it to the Great Hall and pretend that he knew nothing. He just hoped that the twins didn't know more shortcuts than he did. Rumor had it they knew the castle better than anyone, and some speculated that included Dumbledore.

As Harry settled into his bed, he set his alarm charm several hours earlier than usual. Now that he knew at least one personal defense charm, he had something to rely on should all else fail and go horribly wrong. And the only other thing he could do was wait for whatever the twins were planning. He didn't feel like doing that.


After his second hour of holding the bucket up with a levitation charm, Harry was beginning to regret his decisions. He hadn't realized how hard maintaining the spell for an extended period of time was. To add to the strain, he'd chosen a bucket that was more of a small tub, since he'd have to get both twins with it.

He really regretted that decision.

Harry was distracted from his thoughts by the portrait opening for the first time. He'd been hiding behind the tapestry that covered the passageway for nearly two hours. Apparently he'd overestimated Gryffindors' tendencies to get up early. As the portrait swung open, Harry lifted the tapestry ever so slightly to see who was coming out…and didn't recognize them at all. It was a boy from the third or fourth year. Great. Harry hadn't been expecting Fred and George to be the first to rise, but he had expected the Gryffindors to get up earlier. Most of Slytherin was probably already awake and on their way to breakfast by now!

Over the next five minutes, the portrait opened and closed several more times. It appeared that with only an hour of breakfast left, most of Gryffindor was finally heading to the great hall. Harry kept a close eye out for the twins, but so far he hadn't seen them. He had spotted Hermione and Neville heading down together, but he hadn't told them he'd be outside the common room, so he didn't indicate his presence to them.

At last, Harry saw the two redheads that he'd been waiting for. As soon as the second one cleared the doorway, Harry tipped the large bucket, spilling water all over the two of them. He wanted the whole common room to see this through the open doorway. He'd also left a little message in the bottom of the tub for the twins to find. The point of this was publicity as much as payback, after all.

Just as the twins started spluttering and wiping the water from their faces, Harry let the bucket fall to the floor with a loud clatter before bolting down the passageway. He wanted to see the result of his prank, but he also didn't want the twins to catch up to him, which meant he couldn't take any chances. But after a few tense minutes of running all the way to the Great Hall, it didn't appear he'd been followed. As he stopped to catch his breath, he allowed himself a grin at the memory of Fred and George getting drenched. They hadn't known what had hit them, and one had even been clutching at his chest like he was choking or something. He'd probably inhaled a bit of water. Served him right, Harry figured, remembering the stinksap shower.

Having caught his breath, Harry walked casually into the Great Hall. He waved to Hermione and Neville as he walked over to the Slytherin table and began to eat. Several minutes later, Harry noticed that the Weasley twins still hadn't come down to breakfast. What was keeping them? He'd half expected them to chase after him immediately, but he'd certainly expected them to follow him eventually. Their complete absence was starting to worry him.

As he finished breakfast and headed off towards Charms, Harry was to the point of triple-checking his back for signs of redheaded pranksters. So when Hermione called after him, he nearly hexed her into the next week.

"Harry! Wait—EEP!" Hermione halted suddenly, Harry's wand having materialized in her face.

"Oh…sorry," he muttered, putting his wand back in its pocket.

"Harry, what did you do to the twins this time?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

"Hermione, I can hardly keep up with the twins. What makes you think I even did anything?"

"Well," Neville spoke up, "you're jumping at shadows, for one. Besides, I can't remember the twins ever missing breakfast, and I know you were talking about how to get back at them with Hermione while I was finishing that charms homework."

"Okay, fine, I got the twins pretty good earlier. You remember the levitating bucket one we were thinking about?" He asked Hermione.

"Yeah, but we couldn't think of a good way to keep it there without actually holding a wand to it…"

"That's what I did. I got a really big bucket and dumped it on them as they went to breakfast. I half expected them to chase me down, but I haven't seen them since. Did you hear anything about them at the Gryffindor table?"

"Well, people were wondering why they hadn't shown up, but they've been planning something for a while now, so we figured that's where they were," Hermione said, "They were probably some of the last people out of the dorms this morning, and they were sitting at a corner table discussing something when we left."

That didn't sound good. Not only did he need to watch his back for whatever Fred and George were planning, they'd probably been making sure no one saw which way they went, either. So his attempt at another public prank had failed. "Do you have any idea what they were planning? Considering the circumstances, I'm probably the victim."

"Well…not really," Hermione said, "they've been keeping out of the common room quite a bit, and no one really knows where they go. There's a reason they have such a reputation."

"I think…" Neville said with a thoughtful expression, "I think they might be doing something with plants."

"Why?" Harry prompted.

"Well…it's silly, I know, but they usually smell like a greenhouse when they get back from whatever they're doing. And Professor Sprout said some of the plants in the greenhouses have been more upset than usual lately, but she didn't say why."

"Hmm…" Harry didn't like the sound of that. Some of the plants they dealt with in Herbology were pretty dangerous, and even more were capable of aiding a determined prankster, like the trees that had produced the stinksap Fred and George had used in their last prank. And on top of that, he'd just irritated them, so his least favorite twins were probably going to go all out.

"Well, they could be up to quite a lot of things in the greenhouses," Hermione said, "I mean there's the Alihotsy tree, and the Bubotuber, and then there's—"

"Mimbulus Mibletonia!" Neville said suddenly. He saw the shocked look on Harry and Hermione's faces, and hastily continued, "I've wanted one for ages. They can do all kinds of things, like spray predators with stinksap!"

"Really? Do you think that's where Fred and George got the stinksap they put in my shower pipes?" Harry asked.

"Oh…er, probably not. They're a bit rare, see. Plenty of other things produce stinksap. But Mimbulus Mimbletonia can spray it at predators, and it can be used in all kinds of mixtures and stuff."

"Hmm…what do you think they might be up to then?" Hermione asked.

Neville pondered that for a while. "If it were me, I'd probably try some diluted Bubotuber pus," he said eventually. "I don't know why the plants would be upset about that, but as long as you dilute it the pus could be great for pranks."

"But Bubotuber pus is incredibly dangerous!" Hermione exclaimed, "What if you spilled it?"

"Well it's also incredibly useful," Neville countered, "If you dilute it with an infusion of powdered unicorn horn it can prevent serious burns. But if you just dilute it with water I think it causes a rash or something. From what I've heard of the twins, it's right up their alley."

As he said this, they reached the second floor and paused. Hermione and Neville had Transfiguration first, which was on the third floor.

"So it sounds like I need to be careful of liquids today," he said glumly.

"Well, if they've let it dry they could do all kinds of things. Even the diluted powder itches like mad. And they might have done something else, too. I can't see squeezing the Bubotuber pods making all the plants mad."

"Great. Well, thanks anyway. See you at lunch," Harry said, waving goodbye. Hermione and Neville waved back with slightly worried looks on their faces. So comforting.

As he walked the rest of the way to Charms class, Harry was running scenarios in his head. So far the twins had proven that they had an unprecedented knowledge of the castle, creativity in spades, and probably a few resources that no one else knew about. That meant…yep, he was screwed. If they really wanted to get back at him, they probably would.

Figuring he might as well try, Harry recast his pitiful protective enchantments one last time, and headed into class.


A/N: I did say more regular, didn't I? I am sorry this chapter took an extra week or so, but c'est la vie.

Anyone think they know what the twins are planning yet? They're definitely not going to be easy on Harry after what he just pulled.

I leave you with one simple hint. They've improved on the technique somewhat, but what they're about to try is one of the oldest tricks in the proverbial book.

XD

Best of wishes,

feauxen