Disclaimer: We own nothing
A/N Nerwen Aldarion: So sorry this took a while but there were mitigating circumstances, vacation, writer's block and Real Life LOL but here it is. A bit of drama and fluff before the storm starts. Just don't get too comfortable LOL
A/N Steele Simz: Been a while since we updated which I will take blame for. However, here is the next chapter and keep an eye out for an update on my story Red Cell.
Anonymous Reviews:
Anna: Awww thanks so much, sorry for the wait but we are glad that you like it!
Anonymous: was acting up when we posted those chapters, I hope you get the notification this time around. You'll see some of the scars from Lisbon's captivity in this chapter but there are more mysteries to be solved yet hehehe
Jen: Yeah we updated it really fast LOL. Well we are glad that we won you over at least
Guest: Sorry, I posted it so fast that Steele and I didn't get a chance to edit it as closely as we should have
phoenixx: LOL we almost changed JJ's name when we remembered that was LaRoche's name but we couldn't, it's too cute! Well Jane knows that Lisbon met RJ the first time, but he doesn't know ALL of the details, then again...neither do you.
Dodge89: LOL we'll have to look up that song LOL
Anonymous: *Nerwen blushes* The worst part is that I can't refute it since Wages of Sin is going to be so M-rated LOL. Blame Steele, she keeps asking for monkey sex! LOL
Chapter 9: Assurance in the Face of Fear
For the first time in Lisbon's adult life her sleep was disturbed by the sound of an infant crying. Her first thought was where the hell had that baby had come from, it took her a minute to realize that she was not dreaming, there really was a baby crying and that was her son.
That meant she had to get up…now!
Lisbon opened her eyes in a panic, ready to get out of bed until she noticed that Jane's side was now empty. She looked up to see that Jane was standing by JJ's travel crib, now wearing his boxers, and gently lifting him up. "Shhhhh," Jane whispered to their son, "Let Mommy go back to sleep."
She smiled at the image. "It's a little late for that," she whispered. Jane grinned back at her before walking back over the bed with their son in his arms. "Is he hungry?"
"Yep," Jane replied, "like clockwork every couple of hours." He gently handed JJ back to his mother. "I'll get his bottle," Jane told her before kissing JJ and then her and getting up to leave.
Lisbon looked down at her son who was still whimpering and thrashing a little. "I know," she told him softly, "You're hungry but Daddy will be back in a few minutes."
She laid back against the bed, wrapping her arms around her son and letting him rest against her chest. "I dreamed about this. Do you remember? When we were in the basement I'd talk to you and tell you what I wanted. I wanted to hold you and talk to you and sing to you." Her lips quirked at that comment, "Okay, not that, you don't want to hear me sing."
JJ hiccupped but he wasn't crying anymore, he was calming down now as she stroked his back. He seemed to like her voice. "Do you remember me?" Lisbon wondered, "Do you remember my voice?" She leaned down to nuzzle his soft downy head. "Because I remember every time you kicked me, every time you turned over…I even remember when you had hiccups in my belly."
"Did you talk to him often?"
Lisbon looked up to see Jane in the doorway with a bottle in his hand. She smiled at him and shrugged. "I didn't have many options."
Jane crossed the room and sat back down onto the bed, handing her the bottle. "What did you tell him?"
She teased JJ's lips with the nipple of the bottle, this time he turned his head and latched on immediately. "I just talked. I told him that I was going to get us out of this…that you would find us. I would tell him about things I wanted." Lisbon smiled now and met Jane's eyes, "I used to imagine what the nursery would be for him, I wanted bright flowers and ladybugs if it was a girl. And for a boy, a circus theme with a mural with an elephant, a lion, a clown…everything. We could even paint the ceiling to make it look like a circus tent."
He raised an eyebrow leaning back against the pillows. "That sounds nice. Very detailed. Did you design your dream home too?"
She gave him an annoyed look. "Don't mock, I had to do something. I was stuck in that basement for months."
Jane didn't say anything but she knew he wasn't happy with that reminder. He reached up to lightly finger one of JJ's little hands, the baby's small little fingers splayed across his father's fingertip. "What else did you talk to him about?"
"You," Lisbon admitted, "I'd tell him stories about his daddy." She turned her eyes back to JJ and grinned. "Like the time Daddy got us trapped in a metal box that was taken to Mexico. Or when Daddy stole my car and abandoned me by an elephant."
"What about the time Mommy made me walk back to the CBI after she arrested the bus driver?" Jane asked cheekily.
"Nope, that one never came up."
He chuckled and leaned up to kiss her cheek softly. "Keep telling him stories," Jane said, "at least until he's old enough to make his own."
JJ finished off his bottle and went back to sleep a few minutes later. That allowed his parents to crawl back into bed to sleep a bit more themselves. She rested her head on Jane's chest, listening to his heavy breathing but she knew he wasn't asleep yet.
"I wanted a house. With at least three bedrooms and a big backyard so we could get him a sandbox and a swing set." Jane didn't say anything; the only hint that he was awake was him threading his fingers through her hair. "I want a patio where we can sit out and watch him play with iced tea and lemonade…that's what I want."
His fingers stopped their lulling pattern and he gently tugged her to meet his eyes. "You'll get it," he promised her and she knew he meant it.
Lisbon smiled and laid her head back down on his chest, ready to dream about summer evenings with her son and Jane.
A family.
"Staying late, Ron?" Grace asked she packed up her stuff for the evening.
"Have a few things to sign off on then I'll be calling it a night," he informed her without looking up from his paperwork.
"Goodnight," she gave him a smile and headed towards the elevator just as his cell phone beeped. He looked down at the phone then pressed the message button to check the new text he had received:
Go down to the mailroom.
Ron looked up to see if anyone else was in the bullpen before getting to his feet and heading to the elevator himself. He waited for the doors to open, then walked in and pressed the number for the floor that was home to the mail room. His phone beeped again. He looked down at the new message.
Check the in box for your floor.
He looked up just as the doors opened; walking out he made his way to the mailroom. The place was deserted when he turned on the lights. Most mail had already been delivered for the day except for a few small items that got lost in the process. He made his way to the section that housed all of the mail for his floor and noticed a small brown envelope sitting on top, marked with his name on it. He picked it up and made his way back to the elevator. As soon as he got inside it he responded to the message.
Got the package.
He waited for his next move.
Head to security and disable the camera for your floor.
Ron pressed the button for the security floor and took a deep breath, it would be hard to get the guards away from the cameras so he could disable the camera. The elevator doors open and he made his way down to the security office; he knocked on the door softly.
One of the guards opened the door. "Yes?"
"I need you guys to do rounds around the whole building," Ron told him.
"We just did rounds," the guard explained.
"Do them again, we just had an agent returned after being missing for eleven months and you never know what else is waiting for us," Ron told him. "So do your rounds," he then ordered.
The guard glared at him for a second before opening the door completely and motioning the other guard to follow him, leaving just one sitting looking over the camera footage.
"Why don't you three do your rounds and I will stay and watch the cameras," Ron offered.
"Why?" The guard ask skeptic as he studied Ron.
"Just a suggestion," Ron shrugged as the guard shook as head and made his way down the hall with his partner in tow. Well, at least he would only need to deal with one guard. He walked into the room and studied the man before him, he was young and Ron was certain he hadn't seen him around before.
"Are you new?" Ron asked as he closed the door softly behind him.
"Just started," the guard replied without looking back.
"I see," Ron said as he grabbed the guard head and slammed it onto the table in front of him. The guard slumped against him and Ron pushed him away. "Got to learn not to turn your back on people."
Ron went about disabling the camera for the bullpen and then fixing it so when security did check out the camera it would show a loop for an earlier point in the evening. He finished his work just in enough time to see the guards checking out the final floor of their rounds. Getting to his feet he walked over to the guard and slapped him across the face, the guard blinked at him.
"What happened?"
"You blacked out, you should get yourself checked out," Ron informed him as he opened the door and may his way out of the office. He walked to the elevator and press the button, the doors open and he walked into. He pressed the button to his floor and then pulled out his cell phone and gave an update.
Cameras are fixed.
He waited for a reply as the elevator opened to his floor. He made his way to the bullpen just as his phone beeped.
Leave the package on Agent Cho's desk and leave.
Ron nodded and dropped the package on Cho's desk and then made his way out of the bullpen. He didn't use his phone again until he was out of the building and in his car.
Job is done.
He waited for the reply.
You have done well, keep up the good work.
Ron dropped the phone onto the passenger seat and made his way out of the CBI parking lot. He looked back in the rear view confident that no one would figure out what transpired this evening; they were clueless as much now as they were at the beginning.
The morning came swiftly for Jane and Lisbon with the sound of JJ crying being their alarm. The both managed to crawl out of bed with Lisbon opting for Jane's shirt, forcing Jane to admit he'd planned to stay the night all along since he'd brought a change of clothes. Lisbon decided to give JJ his breakfast while Jane fixed theirs; she wasn't surprised by the bacon and eggs but did warn him she liked her bacon blackened.
"Don't burn the toast," Lisbon warned him as she came back into the kitchen, holding a very awake JJ.
"Hmmm burn the bacon but not the toast," Jane remarked, "You're a complicated woman."
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because you're so simple."
He grinned and finished piling the eggs on their plates. She pulled the orange juice out of the fridge and set it on the table before heading back to the living room to put JJ in the bassinet while his parents enjoyed their breakfast.
They were still eating when they both heard the sound of the car pulling up at the driveway. Lisbon immediately jumped up to grab her gun while Jane remained relaxed. "It's Rigsby's shift," he assured her.
But Lisbon still peeked through the blinds to check, only relaxing when she saw the tall figure of her teammate. "I hate that I have to have a babysitter."
"You would do the same if it was me."
"You don't carry a gun."
"You also have a two month old to keep an eye on," Jane reminded her.
"I know that someone has to be here," Lisbon assured him, "it doesn't mean I have to like it." She set the gun back down on the small table by the sofa as Rigsby unlocked the door and stepped inside.
He was still chewing on his half eaten donut when he mumbled out a "Good morning." Then he stopped in his tracks when he saw his boss and nearly choked.
"You okay, Rigsby?" Lisbon asked, more than a little confused by his obvious discomfort. Rigsby was still coughing a bit and nodding his head. "Are you sure?"
"Uh huh," Rigsby replied but his eyes were darting away and he refused to look at her.
"What's wrong?" Lisbon asked, "Do I have something on my face?"
Jane was standing calmly by the breakfast table, taking another sip of orange juice. "You're still wearing my shirt," he told her.
Lisbon looked down and realized he was right. Not only did the deep v-neck show a bit more of her cleavage than Rigsby was used to, the shirt barely grazed the top of her thighs meaning he had an unobstructed view of her panties.
She glanced back up, feeling the blood rush to her face as she blushed a bright red. "I'm going to go change."
"Might I suggest pants?" Jane said, she smacked him as she rushed past him, tugging the shirt as low as it could go in an attempt to hide her assets…but that was mostly in vain.
He was still smiling a few moments after she left; Rigsby's embarrassed expression was almost as amusing as Lisbon's. Normally he might have enjoyed exploiting this situation but right now there were more pressing concerns. "Anything new come up?"
Rigsby managed to shake off the image of his half-naked boss and nod. "Something was left at the CBI this morning."
Jane stood up straighter, becoming all seriousness now. "What?"
"A tape," Rigsby explained, "It's got video on it, of Lisbon in the basement."
He pressed his lips into a tight line. Of course Red John wanted a reminder of what Lisbon had gone through, this was undoubtedly a reaction to him breaking Lisbon's trance. "I'll need to see it."
Rigsby nodded and might have said more but they both heard the sound of Lisbon hurrying from the bedroom. "Don't tell her," Jane warned just before Lisbon arrived now wearing jeans and a simple sweatshirt.
"I'm so sorry, Rigsby. The baby woke up and I…I wasn't thinking."
"It's fine," Rigsby assured her, now blushing again at the reminder of what he'd seen.
"Still, I'm sorry."
"I'm not," Jane piped in, "After last night? I'm not sorry in the least."
Rigsby looked even more uncomfortable and Lisbon hit Jane again. "Shut up, don't tell him about that."
"We have a son together and you pranced around in my shirt, I think Rigsby already knew."
She smacked him again. "Hush."
Jane laughed and leaned down to kiss her softly. "I'm going to the CBI."
Lisbon nodded. "You need to find him."
"I need to keep you safe."
"I'll be fine," Lisbon assured him, "but what if JJ needs you?"
"He has his mother," Jane reminded her but she wasn't so sure. It was true, she was JJ's mother but she also wasn't quite as sure about her ability to actually care for their son. "You'll do fine," Jane assured her, "don't worry about him." Then he grinned. "And you know you just called him JJ."
Lisbon paused for a second and then groaned. "Shit."
He laughed and kissed her again. "I told you, you brought it upon yourself."
"Because I named him Joshua?"
"Because you fell in love with me."
She grinned and nodded. "That was stupid of me. I'll try not to do that again." They might have continued to get sappy with one another and undoubtedly make poor Rigsby want to vomit. But the sound of their son crying ended that moment.
Lisbon sighed. "I guess that's your cue to leave."
Jane nodded, "I'll tell you what happens." Keeping to himself the fact that he would only tell her what she needed to know.
"Thanks," she replied picking up their son and holding him close. "I'll be safe here."
"Take care of my son."
She rolled her eyes again. "Go before I kick you out."
He was laughing as he left; it felt good after eleven months of hell. Like the pain had never been there at all.
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Lisbon wasn't happy to be stuck with Rigsby all day but she also knew that she couldn't argue about it much. What was weird was how domestic this all was for her; kissing Jane goodbye while she stayed with the baby, how very 50's housewives of them. Well that was going to stop as soon as she could get back to work.
For now she had to play the part of being a mother, which was not only intimidating, but also more than a little frightening. She was still afraid and overwhelmed but every time she held JJ and saw his smile…that fear began to slowly ebb away. It was the same love that had taken over her when she first held her son in that basement months ago, only now she felt safe and secure that nothing would happen to him.
Rigsby was helpful in giving her a few tips about caring for an infant, Lisbon wondered if maybe Jane had planned this and suspected that she was right. He probably knew before she did that she had more she needed to learn. That irritated her but she was grateful too.
But the one thing she had a hard time getting right now were answers.
"What happened while I was gone?" Lisbon asked Rigsby as she fed JJ again.
Rigsby shrugged. "A few cases, we kept looking for you every chance we got."
"You know that isn't what I meant."
He looked a little upset by that. "We missed you, boss. We were scared and upset."
"How was Jane?"
Now Rigsby looked really uncomfortable. "Jane was…Jane."
Lisbon gave him an annoyed looked. "I need a better answer than that."
"Maybe he should tell you."
"He wouldn't, that is why I asked you." The poor man obviously wanted to be anywhere but there at the moment, his eyes darted looking for a distraction but Lisbon was not about to let him get away with fleeing. "What happened with Jane?"
Rigsby shifted in his stance. "He went a little…crazy."
She frowned. "Crazy?"
"He started drinking…a lot. He even showed up to a crime scene drunk and got arrested."
Her mouth dropped open at that statement. It was hard for her to imagine Jane getting drunk…at least not unless it was a ploy. "Are you serious?"
Rigsby nodded. "We were worried he was going to do something stupid… or at least stupider than what he was already doing."
Lisbon shook her head. "What else did he do?"
Rigsby shrugged. "He was depressed, boss. He refused to listen to anyone, he was angry and upset and…guilty."
She put one hand over her eyes, trying to hide the tears that were forming. "Oh God…this is all my fault."
He put a hand on her shoulder in comfort. "It's not your fault Red John took you."
Lisbon looked away and sighed. "He's better now right?"
"Of course, once he got JJ he was happy again. Even more so when he finally got you out of your trance."
She smiled a little. "I knew that already."
Rigsby blushed, taking her meaning in an entirely different way which made her laugh a little. "I'm sorry, Rigsby, no more talk of that."
"Good," he said quickly, "I mean…I'm happy for you, boss and with JJ…"
"Some things are best left unsaid."
"Yes!"
They both laughed now and Lisbon felt whatever discomfort ease between them. She lightly traced one of JJ's cheeks with her fingertip. "This is magical," she said with wonder.
"Yes it is," Rigsby agreed.
She looked up and met his eyes. "I was so happy for you when Ben was born…and jealous too. I didn't think something like that would ever happen to me." She smiled again, "Like always…I didn't count on Jane."
"You never can," Rigsby agreed with a small smile.
Lisbon shook her head. "For once, being caught off guard was a good thing, a very good thing."
"You should have seen Jane when he brought JJ to the CBI, the look on his face...after all those months of being lost he seemed to have finally found happiness again."
Lisbon nodded. "He seems better now…even before I left. I guess JJ can do that to people…he saved me too." She looked back down at her son. "He is a miracle."
"Yes, he is."
She smiled a bit. "I admit I get this feeling that he is going to turn out like Jane."
"Is that a bad thing?"
Lisbon shook her head with a grin. "No, but it will surely give me a run for my money, but I guess that comes with the territory since I chose Jane…or did he choose me? It's hard to say."
"At least no one won the bet," Rigsby muttered.
"There was a bet?"
Rigsby looked far away, "Uhhh…well…"
"Oh my God, Rigsby!"
"We never placed a bet, boss. I swear," Rigsby told her quickly, he actually looked a little afraid now.
"Oh really?" Lisbon asked, not believing in her team innocence for a second.
Rigsby knew the jig was up then. "It was all in good fun."
"Good fun, really? Rigsby I swear you tell me—." Lisbon never finished her sentence because at that moment JJ coughed and spit up on her shirt. She grimaced and handed JJ over to Rigsby before getting to her feet. "We will finish this conversation later."
She made her way to the bathroom where she could change her shirt and clean up a bit. This was something she was still getting used to, getting thrown up on at least four times a day. She kept forgetting that a burping rag was completely necessary, she would have to remember soon or all of her shirts would be covered in vomit.
Lisbon took one of her few clean shirts with her to the bathroom so she could wash the smell of sour milk off of her neck and put her now dirty shirt in the hamper. She was standing in just her bra when she heard Rigsby heading up the stairs. "Boss, JJ is asleep did you want me to get something for—."
"Jesus Christ, Rigsby!" she exclaimed, holding her shirt over her chest. Rigsby gaped at her, already having seen in her in her underwear, but he didn't want to see the matching set either.
"I'm sorry…I didn't know."
"Get out!"
"Yes, boss." He quickly hurried from the bathroom and instinctively closed the door behind him.
"Wait!" Lisbon said, "Don't close the door!" But it was too late, the door was shut behind her and once more she was stuck in a room that didn't seem to have a way out.
For a second she felt a small thrill of fear but she tampered that. It's okay, she reminded herself, all you have to do is turn the knob and open the door.
But when she tried to do just that the knob refused to turn. Now she was getting very close to panicking. Lisbon frantically tried to open the door but it refused to budge. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
She was a captive again.
"Oh God," she repeated, tears spilling down her cheeks as she kept trying to turn the knob. "Let me out, please God, let me out."
But the door stayed shut.
"Help!" Lisbon shouted, banging her fist against the door, "please! Let me out! Let me go! Let me go!"
She as panicking now, her chest heaving and her whole body shaking. Her stomach tied up in a knot so tight that it was painful and her breakfast made a reappearance. Lisbon rushed over to the toilet and vomited, dry heaving when her stomach was empty.
"Boss?" Rigsby asked, "What's wrong?" Lisbon curled up on the floor, shaking like a frightened poodle. "What is it?" He asked again, banging on the door now.
"It's locked…I can't get out," she whimpered sadly.
"Just turn the lock."
But Lisbon shook her head. "I'm trapped. I can't get out. I can't get out. I can't get out."
"You can get out, you just have to turn the lock."
Lisbon gasped for air again and again. "Rigsby, please, let me out. Let me out. I don't want to be trapped again!"
"Boss, I can't…"
She couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop shaking as she still sat curled up on the floor. There was a loud banging noise that she heard at a great distance and then a voice telling her to get up. She didn't care though.
Then she was suddenly lifted from the floor.
It took Lisbon a moment to realize that Rigsby was carrying her. He took her back out of the bathroom; past the broken door he'd kicked in and carried her all of the way to the living room before setting her on the couch. JJ was screaming now, the noise having woken him up but Lisbon didn't go to him.
She was still shaking.
Rigsby wasn't sure who to take care of first, the baby or the panicking mother. He chose to let JJ cry a bit while he went to fix Lisbon something warm to drink that might calm her down. While the coffee was brewing he did pick up JJ and tried to soothe him, Lisbon was still sitting on the sofa, shaking and staring straight ahead, her face streaked with tears.
JJ calmed down a bit but was still whimpering when Rigsby gave Lisbon a cup of coffee, she took it numbly, still not saying a word. He took the baby with him into the kitchen where he could privately call the one person who might be able to help.
Jane picked up after one ring. "Rigsby, what happened? Is everything all right?"
"I don't know," Rigsby admitted, ignoring the question of how Jane knew something was up. "Everything was okay but Lisbon accidently locked herself into the bathroom and then she just went crazy."
He was quiet for a second, a grave silence. "She doesn't like closed doors."
"I figured that out," Rigsby replied, "She was having a panic attack, she didn't even realize that all she had to do was turn the lock. I had to break down the door."
"But she's out now?"
"Yeah, I put her on the couch and gave her some coffee, she's just being very quiet now is all."
"Just leave her alone, let her calm down and don't upset her anymore. I'll be back when I can."
"I'm sorry, Jane."
"This isn't your fault, Rigsby," Jane told him honestly, "she's still a little traumatized, it's just something we have to deal with. You did the right thing here."
"Okay," Rigsby said, "I'll try and get her to talk again."
"Tell her I'll be there soon."
"I will."
Rigsby hung up the phone with a sight and turned his attention to the baby in his arms. "Your parents are a mess…both of them."
JJ gurgled and blinked his eyes sleepily.
He took the baby back into the living room, Lisbon hadn't moved but she didn't look like she was shaking as badly anymore. "You okay?" Rigsby asked.
She nodded. "Is he?"
"Yeah, the excitement just woke him up."
Lisbon looked guilty now. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," he told her, "you just…you were afraid."
"I panicked," she corrected him, "I was locked in a freaking bathroom from the inside, and I panicked."
"It's all right."
"No it's not," Lisbon told him, "I'm a cop, I'm stronger than this…but I was locked up for almost a year and that changed me. Now I'm scared. I'm scared of being locked up again; I'm scared for my son…I'm not used to this, Rigsby. I don't know how to be afraid all of the time." She looked up at him. "How do I fix this?"
"You will," Rigsby replied softly, "it'll just take time."
She nodded but didn't look like she believed him. Still she met his eyes again. "Let me have my son," she said, "I'll put him back to sleep."
He smiled and handed JJ back into her arms. Lisbon gently rocked her son back and forth, keeping her eyes on him. "You're safe," she whispered to her little boy, "we are both safe."
Someday she would believe that.
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Jane left the CBI sooner than he intended but for a very good reason. He wanted to make sure that Lisbon was really okay after her panic attack earlier. Rigsby had called him back to assure him that she was doing better but Jane still didn't like that Lisbon was so fragile.
He picked up Lisbon's favorite doughnuts along the way, showing off the bag proudly as he walked inside the safe house. "I come bearing gifts."
Rigsby was in the living room; the television on one of the few channels while Lisbon peeked out from the kitchen, JJ in her arms. She raised an eyebrow at the bag in his hand. "You thought I needed comfort?"
"Of course not," he told her with a smile, "This is a bribe. I'll trade this for our son."
Lisbon knew that was a lie, he could see that clearly but she was at least amused by the cover up. She did hand JJ over to his father, taking the doughnut bag for herself. Jane let JJ rest against his chest and he kissed the top of his head. "Hello, little one, I missed you."
He glanced over to see that Lisbon was smiling at him, holding one doughnut with a bite taken out of it. Their eyes met and they shared a soft look, one that said they both adored seeing the other with their son.
Rigsby popped into the room before they could say anything else or bask in the moment for much longer. "Everything all right?"
"Just fine," Jane replied, "I'll stay with Lisbon, you can head back to the CBI."
"Grace was supposed to take the next shift."
"Tell her to take her time."
Rigsby looked a little suspicious of that comment though Jane hadn't intended for any kind of intimate meaning. He simply wanted some private time to speak to Lisbon and to hopefully wash away any lingering fears and pain from the unfortunate event earlier.
They remained quiet and still while Rigsby gathered his things and left, only JJ let out a few soft sighs as he settled in his father's arms. When the door was closed and the house was empty but for their own small family, they met each other's eyes again.
"I'm okay," Lisbon told him.
Jane laid his cheek against JJ's head. "You sure?"
"Well I'm not freaking out right now am I?" She was clearly annoyed and proved it by turning on her heel and heading back into the kitchen, as if that would end the conversation. But Jane followed her into the room, she still kept her back to him, grabbing a glass and filling it with cool tap water.
She took a long pull from it before setting the glass down on the counter, then she met his eyes again. "I don't know what happened."
"It was an accident," Jane offered.
"It was ridiculous," Lisbon countered, "I'm a grown woman, I know how to unlock a damn door."
"You were having a panic attack."
"Because of a door."
"Because you were reminded of being locked up for eleven months," Jane corrected, "After the hell you have been through it is understandable that you are still dealing with your fears."
She shook her head. "I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be this pathetic woman who falls apart because of four walls and a door. I'm better than this."
"You aren't pathetic."
"What do you call someone who is terrified of a locked door?"
"Someone who has gone through something traumatic and needs time to heal."
Lisbon just groaned again. "We don't have time to wait for me to get over this, Jane. Red John is out there waiting, planning his next move."
"I know that," Jane replied. JJ was stirring in his arms, one tiny hand reaching up to his father's slightly stubbled cheek. "But this is a problem that isn't going to go away and ignoring it will only make things worse."
She sighed heavily; tears were threatening to well up in her eyes. "I don't like this. I don't like what he took from me. First my life, then my son and now my strength."
Jane stepped forward, putting a hand on her shoulder and forcing her to look at him. "He hasn't taken anything away from you. You still have all of those things and you have me by your side, forever."
Lisbon smiled softly up at him. "Will I be able to survive forever with you?"
"You will," Jane told her, "I might not, depending on how angry I get you on any given day." That made her chuckle a little and he pulled her in against his chest so he could softly kiss her lips. "This will get better," he said, "I promise."
She nodded. "I believe you." JJ let out a little coo which made his mother grin, "he made a mess of himself this afternoon. Can you show me how to bathe him?"
"Gladly.
Perhaps it was strange to be so happy and domestic in this messed up situation…but for Jane and Lisbon it was perfect.
Lisbon learned quickly on how to bathe JJ but the most amusing part was watching her son splash water with his feet anytime Jane got close to him. Jane smiled and pulled off his shirt as he finished helping her take care of JJ.
"He likes to watch the ducky float around," Jane stated as he used the washcloth softly across JJ body.
"What ducky?" Lisbon asked as she looked around the room.
"The one that is currently sitting at your house in the tub," he told her.
"My tub?"
"Hmm, yeah I sort of moved into your place," he told her matter-of-factly as he finished cleaning JJ.
"What?" Lisbon asked as she picked up JJ so she could dry him off.
"It made sense logically, my motel and attic was no placed for him and you had the space. Plus it is only temporary until I get you that dream house of yours," he told her as he handed her the baby soft towel.
"About the house, Jane I know I mentioned it last night but-" she started but he leaned over and kissed her.
"I was looking before I found you," he admitted.
That surprised her. "You were?"
"Yes, I knew I would find you and that you and JJ deserve a nice place to live," he told her as he got to his feet. Lisbon followed in suit and the two of them headed back into the bedroom so they could dress JJ in his pj's.
"It is funny," Lisbon said as she finished snapping the buttons on JJ's pajamas
"What?"
"This, it feels so natural," she said as she gestured to the three of them.
Jane grinned over at her. "I always knew you would be a good mother," he told her as he picked up JJ and brought him close to his chest. "Why don't you take a shower while I put him to sleep."
"Sure, you don't want me to wait for you?"
"As much as I would love to join you I think it would be better this way," he told her with a smile. She nodded and leaned up to kiss him before grabbing his discarded shirt from earlier this morning and heading to the shower. "You know that is my shirt."
"Yes, I'm well aware," she told him as she entered the bathroom leaving the door open.
"Your mother is going to be the death of me," he whispered to JJ.
"I heard that," Lisbon shouted and Jane just smiled as sat down on the bed with his son against his chest.
"So JJ what will it be tonight, a bedtime story or music?" Jane asked. JJ just cooed against his father chest. "All right let us try music." He got to his feet and headed over to the small alarm clock/radio, he turned it on and flipped through station before coming upon a jazz station. "My favorite."
"Jane?" Lisbon yelled from the bathroom.
He made his way over to the bathroom door. "Yes?"
"Did you turn on music?"
"Yes," he told her as he stepped away from the door and started to move softly to the music in hope that it would put JJ to sleep. He stood there for a while, getting lost in the music when he heard the shower turn off.
"Exposing him to jazz music?" she asked him as she stepped into the bedroom. Jane took in her appearance, her hair was still wet and of course she had slipped on his shirt.
"Well, I think it was a better option than Spice Girls," he winked at her and motioned to her to come closer. "Join us."
Lisbon nodded and moved over to him so he can wrap his free arm around her. Lisbon laid her head against his shoulder and watched JJ, who was sound asleep. Jane couldn't ask for a more perfect moment then the one he was having right now; the two most important people in his life were safe and sound in his arms.
"I love you," he whispered to her.
"I have always loved you, even when you were a pain," She leaned up and kissed him on the lips. "Let's go to bed."
"Let me just put JJ down," he told her as he moved away and put JJ down in his travel crib. He then placed the blanket around him and his toy tiger next to him. He then walked over to the side of the bed in which Lisbon had already settled into. "I'm going to take a quick shower and then I'll join you."
"Okay," she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before he moved away.
He finished his shower, slipped back into his boxers and made his way to the bed. Turning off the side table lamp he crawled into bed and instantly Lisbon turned over and snuggled into his chest. He smiled and closed his eyes, thinking of the future that he planned on giving her and their son.
A/N: Awww hope you like family time with Jane and Lisbon LOL, enjoy it because things get VERY interesting next chapter when they find out the mole at the CBI and Jane gets a call from Red John with new information that he never suspected.
