Fiscal Responsibility

By Kakuzu

Edited and Maintained by Kisame

Edited by Pain

Revisions by Madara


As a member of Akatsuki, you, and only you, are responsible for tracking personal expenditures, filling out reimbursement forms, and submitting those forms for approval. No form, no approval! Keep in mind that we do not spend our money lightly. Each member receives a monthly stipend for food, clothing, and shelter. When combined with your partner's stipend, the amount is more than sufficient to provide adequate lodging and food.

There is no reimbursement for food, shelter, or clothing. Use your stipend. For all other expenses, please fill out the form at the end of this document. More than sufficient? He calls barely being able to get a haystack for the night sufficient! He's insane! The miserly little pittance he doles out isn't enough to feed a small goldfish, much less two grown men!

As painful as it to admit, you are right. Stop complaining, Pain. At least your partner's female. All Akatsuki members will be completely reimbursed for out-of-pocket lodging, food, clothing, and weapons expenses incurred while on assigned missions. For all other expenses, you're on your own. Due to Kakuzu's demise, the monthly stipend is no longer in effect. Please use the generous mission accounts set up for each team.

Karin, we will not reimburse you for the resort. Just for the record, I do not now, nor will I ever, desire your genes mixed with my bloodline, so don't expect reimbursement for any future seduction attempts. In fact, I'd highly recommend that you think prior to submitting any more spurious requests. You may want to refrain from calling him a senile old bat, as well. That would be advisable.

All members are required to deposit their pay in one of Akatsuki's numerous investment accounts. Allow me to translate. This means you never see your paycheck. Kakuzu takes your paycheck and 'invests' it. Now, there is little distinction between his personal accounts and the organization's accounts, so I highly doubt you will ever actually see your paycheck. He doesn't take mine or Konan's. News flash, Leader. He takes everyone else's. It's like being an indentured servant.

Kakuzu, I realize that few have lived as long as we have. Thus, they may lack the cash reserves necessary to support an adequate lifestyle. Give them their money, as in withdraw it from the bank, count it out, place it in their hands, and allow them to walk away.

Before you ask, no, you may not simply create clones of the members and give the money to the clone who would then return it to you. Kisame, I hope this satisfies you. You forgot to mention the interest… Revise the above to include all monies and the interest accrued on them held for any member of the organization. Happy now, Kisame? Quite.

All members are responsible for identifying new financial opportunities. Common opportunities are bounties, potential missions, extortion opportunities, blackmail, protection offerings, information gathering/sales, theft, and investment opportunities. As some members are unclear what constitute the above, allow me to clarify.

Bounties are the most wonderful opportunity. You chase down your subject and deliver them for the required fee. This is an easy way to make money! Please note, if the bounty requires that the subject be alive and you deliver them dead, you will not be paid.

I recommend the dead or alive scenario. If you can tolerate the stench, dead bodies are blessedly silent and trouble-free, as opposed live ones. The live ones will do anything to save their necks, including offering you cash. If you have one of those, take the cash. Release them. Track them back down a few minutes later and deliver them to the client. Getting paid multiple times is never a bad thing!

Keep in mind that as an organization filled with S-class criminals, you always have ample bounty opportunities at your fingertips. Itachi and Deidara both have a wonderful knack for ticking off entire villages in thirty seconds or less, and the bounties on their heads reflect this.

Unfortunately, not all members have high bounties. Madara, Pain, Konan, and Zetsu do not have known bounties at this time, but I expect that to change in the near future. Under no circumstances will you or anyone else collect a bounty on a current member. If you are attempting to collect one on Orochimaru, I get him first! No member may collect a bounty on a jinchūriki!

In response to Kisame's recent inquiry regarding Sasuke's bounty: yes, Kisame, if you can persuade Sasuke to peacefully accompany you to either Sound or Leaf, I see no reason why you shouldn't collect his bounty, provided the escape plan for both of you is fool proof. Oddly enough, I'm okay with this idea. Just keep the annoying brats out of my way!

All potential missions must be approved by senior management before they are accepted. We will accept any mission, including menial D-rank tasks like dog walking, if the price is high enough. All potential missions must be listed out and reported to Leader on a weekly basis. I prefer a spreadsheet with the following columns: Date Requested, Requester, Pay, Mission Description, Location, and Mission Ranking. Finding potential missions is relatively easy. You should use your spies in various villages and steal the missions from the village.

Extortion opportunities are easy to identify. Walk into any business, identify yourself as Akatsuki, and offer to not destroy the premises if they will pay your fee. You must actually be willing to follow through with your threat! Deidara, it is not ethical to accept the money and blow up the establishment. You must choose one or the other. The Organization has a reputation to maintain, and your recent actions damaged it!

Until further notice, all extortion opportunities must be cleared with a senior member. Senior members are Pain, Konan, Zetsu, Kisame, and Madara. We know who we have established relationships with and who we don't. Until you learn this, you may not engage in extortion.

Blackmail is just as valid in adult life as it was during childhood, and the same principles apply. Take pictures or video or steal damaging documents. Then, offer to not reveal the documents to whomever your target is concealing the information from in exchange for money. Overtime, escalate the price, but keep in mind that your subject must be able to pay the price. Blackmail works best on Kages, daimyōs, heads of criminal organizations, and the second-in-commands of the previous.

Protection offerings are similar to extortion opportunities except that you are being paid money to prevent someone else from attacking. Itachi, Kakuzu would like me to remind you that dango coupons are not an acceptable form of currency. In the future, please demand cash, as opposed to a five years' supply of dango.

Hey! At least we can eat dango. Ever tried getting money out of Kakuzu?! What was that … a 'no ' … I didn't think you had! In light of Itachi's demise, the dango coupons are now in the community kitchen, contained in the top drawer next to the refrigerator. Members are encouraged to demand cash, but goods are acceptable.

Information gathering/sales (aka spying) is an excellent way to acquire additional cash. All information is for sale, and we do expect you to sell that information to the highest bidder. All information is not for sale. If you sell any information on Akatsuki, our members, activities, or personal hobbies, we will personally hunt you down and mount your head on a spike overlooking Rain's main gate. Pain, please keep a spike reserved for this purpose. Kisame, after much discussion, Madara and I have decided it is permissible to sell pictures of Suigetsu in his SpongeBob underwear. Yes! There is a god!

Theft is generally not a good way to acquire money, unless you are stealing money. If you must steal, please do not steal rare items. The rarer the item, the harder it is to sell. Items have no value to the organization unless they can be easily sold. Please do not steal the following: rare scrolls, rare jewels, and rare weapons. No live animals either!

Investment opportunities are my specialty. These include currency markets, bonds, stocks, corporate lending, small start-ups, and other market-oriented investments. If you become aware of one of these, please bring it to my attention via letter. I will not discuss your pathetic attempts at investing in person.

The letter should include the name of the company/individual, their contact information, and a brief business description. You are not qualified to determine whether or not an investment is suitable, and I neither need nor want your opinion. Do not offer it! Someone was a bit full of himself. Presently, Zetsu and I are acting joint treasurers. Please bring all investment opportunities to our attention and provide as much analysis as possible on the investment. Thank you.

If for any reason you feel the need to discuss your own finances with me, leave me a note in our Financial Office in Rain. Either my eldest subordinate Norio Fujimoto or I will arrange a meeting with you at the earliest opportunity. We expect you to be punctual for consultations. Do not waste our time.

— Reimbursement Form —

The Reimbursement Form should be submitted for each item you purchased, not each receipt. If there are multiple items on a receipt, you must submit multiple forms. Staple the original receipt to the back of the Reimbursement Form. Photocopies may be used for subsequent forms.

Name

Date Form Submitted

Date of Purchase

Purchase Location

Item Description

Expenditure Justification (Why was the purchase necessary?)

Three Nearest Shops within a One Hundred Mile Radius Who Carry Said Item and Their Price for Said Item

For Administrative Use Only

Approved/Denied/Returned for Further Information

Failure to fill out this form in accordance with the instructions will result in a denied request. All decisions are final. If you request is denied, you may not resubmit the above paperwork!

In the past, stapling your receipt to the front of the form was grounds for denial. Honestly, I do not care where the staple goes. Please put all items on the same form. The above was Kakuzu's attempt to deny every request.

Too true! He actually told me that even though I have six active bodies, I only needed to clothe one!It's not like you couldn't afford to buy the clothing. He wasn't appropriating your paycheck. As entertaining as this is, this is not the appropriate forum. If you two wish to reminisce, do it on your time, not mine.


Kakuzu scanned the accounting forms on his desk. The end of the month was rapidly approaching. Work was piling up for workers in the Akatsuki's Financial Office. They had to write up the organization's monthly balance sheet so Pain-sama was aware of their financial status.

The elderly man glanced at an aging man with graying hair. The aging man barked orders at the younger workers.

"Yataro, retrieve all of our mission files so we can write down the names of the clients and their mission fees. Bokkai, connect the computers to the Internet. Genichi, stop dozing! Sachi, would you be so kind as to connect the printers to the computers?"

The miser could not help but feel a flicker of pride.

He had taken in Norio as a teenager soon after his defection from Takigakure. They had a mutual interest in business. If it weren't for his lack of unique abilities, the gray-haired man might be considered a good replacement for his superior if he ever was down for the count.

The masked shinobi double-checked everything. All of their clients had paid them on time, there were no debts the Akatsuki owed to anyone, they had made their marks, and they stayed within the budget. From what he had seen so far, it was going to be a successful fiscal period.

Norio pointed his finger at a boy who was eating food at his desk.

"Eishi, you know that food is not allowed in here. Finish it up, but afterwards, you're going to clean up your workstation."

The youth, a brown-haired lad who Kakuzu had found in Tsuchi no Kuni, nodded without hesitation.

"Yes, Norio-sama!"

The graying man approached his superior.

"Everyone is filing out forms as requested. Do you want any additional punishment for Eishi, Kakuzu-sama?"

The tanned shinobi contemplated the idea. In time, he nodded his head.

"Nothing too severe. I will put him on kitchen and bathroom duty tonight with Kisame and Mayu. After he is done cleaning the community bathroom, I will explain to him why we don't eat in the Financial Office. Discipline is good for children, but too much will break them."

The former Taki shinobi knew this personally. One of his childhood friends had been such a humorous fellow. That had changed when his father had flogged the boy following an failed mission. The next time the two met up, the brown-haired shinobi's friend held a blank expression.

The miser's friend remained emotionless for the rest of his life, which admittedly hadn't been long.

Kakuzu's subordinates shuffled around the office. Everything seemed to be normal.

At least, until a familiar silver-haired Jashinist burst through the door.

"Hey, Kakuzu! Leader-sama wants to see us in his office."

The elder man repressed a sigh.

"I'm going to see what Leader-sama wants. Norio, you're in charge until I return. Make sure no one lazes about."

Norio inclined his head slightly.

"Understood, Kakuzu-sama."

The Akatsuki pair strode out of the Financial Office. They headed to Pain's office at a brisk pace.

"Kakuzu, how can you stand being in that place all day? It has to be boring," Hidan huffed.

Kakuzu folded his hands together.

"Being the Chief Financial Officer of Akatsuki is an important job, Hidan. If we have a client who's fallen through the cracks or we are making less money than we require, that responsibility falls to me."

The slick-haired Jashinist stuck out his tongue.

"Whatever, bastard."

Resisting the urge to strangle his partner, the masked shinobi opened the door to Pain's office.

"Leader-sama, you requested us?"

Sitting at a large desk, the orange-haired Akatsuki leader inclined them to come forward. The two men walked to the front of the desk.

"This meeting with you two has two purposes. For one, I am giving the two of you a new mission."

Hidan smirked. He pumped one of his fists into the air.

"About time! What sort of mission is it?"

Pain's lips twisted into a grimace.

"An S-rank mission. One of our longtime allies, a missing-nin group from Kusagakure, has betrayed us because of an incident Deidara caused. A couple of them have S-rank combat abilities. You are to eliminate all of them. Since they are in our power range, this will be rather dangerous."

The former Taki shinobi closed his eyes. He nodded at his leader.

"I understand. When do we set out?"

The heavily studded shinobi folded his hands on his desk.

"Tomorrow morning, after breakfast. This mission may take a few weeks. I would suggest leaving Norio in charge of finances while you are gone. Which leaves me to the second reason I called you in."

He beckoned to the treasurer of Akatsuki.

"Kakuzu, I would like to know the status of our financial accounts."

The longhaired man shook his head.

"My workers are not finished with finalizing our end of the month ledgers and forms. The information will be available for your viewing in four days' times if my underlings continue to work at their current pace."

The Rinnegan user sighed.

"I suppose that is to be expected. Have Norio come to my office when everything is ready."

Kakuzu straightened his shoulders.

"He will do so. Good day, Leader-sama."

The miser and his bone-headed partner departed on their mission nine o'clock the next morning. Their assignment brought them well into Kusa no Kuni's brush. They came upon the targets' headquarters in three days.

"How will we work this?" Hidan whispered.

The duo stood on a hill concealed by long grass. The foliage grew to nearly twice Kakuzu's height. Below was a barn house that served as home to the group of missing-nin they had to take out.

The elder man glanced at the silver-haired shinobi.

"This mercenary group has twenty-two members. Seven of them are S-rank, while the others range from A-rank to high B-rank. You will kill the weaker ones. We will cash in their bounties, so make sure they're not a mess when you're done."

The purple-eyed shinobi sneered.

"If that will let you sleep at night, asshole."

Hidan and Kakuzu circled opposite sides of the barn house. From the green-eyed miser's hiding place, he spotted a shinobi with dark purple hair venturing out. He shot out his threads towards the foe's neck.

The shinobi struggled for a few moments. He reached his arm out, trying in vain to pry the threads off him. Eventually, his head lolled to the side.

The former Taki shinobi brought out a corpse scroll to seal his dead opponent. He knew he would be turning in multiple bounties, so he stocked on the correct supplies for the job as they left Amegakure.

He ran inside of the barn house's entrance. The others would be aware soon about the Akatsuki launching an attack. It would be best to take them out as soon as possible.

And, I don't want to leave Hidan alone. He might screw this up.

The longhaired shinobi fought five of the S-rank shinobi consecutively. It was no picnic. One of them, a black-haired kunoichi with a long ponytail, even killed one of his hearts. He clutched his side.

Shit. It looks like I will be staying in the medical bay at Headquarters after we return.

Ignoring his pain for the moment, he searched the hallways for survivors. There were not many; most of the mercenary group lied on the floor dead with blood pooling from their chests.

He sealed each one with quick precision. Turning his pupiless eyes upward, he bolted upwards. By his estimations, only two of the S-rank shinobi and two of the less powerful members remained.

Screams echoed from the left side of the building. Kakuzu could decipher four distinct voices. He rushed to where the screams came from.

Of all the people to deal with them. Hidan will likely need some downtime after this.

Immortal or not, injuries could hinder the Jashinist on the field. He had been lucky that he had only been in the medical bay a total of four times since his induction.

By the time the masked shinobi arrived, only one of the shinobi were still alive. Barely breathing, the enemy shinobi watched with widened eyes as Hidan stabbed himself in the heart. He gave out one last scream.

The trip back was difficult. The violent duo's injuries caught up to them. Upon entering Headquarters, Kakuzu fainted.

He spent two weeks in the medical bay. The medics worked to repair his many wounds. He read a few books to pass the time.

Eight days following his hospitalization, Pain visited him.

"I spoke to Hidan in his hospital room. The mission was successful. You will find the money in your account after you're released."

The masked shinobi nodded gladly.

"Glad to know. What of our organization's financial status?"

His leader straightened his shoulders.

"We're doing well. Norio would like to present a financial plan so we continue to operate efficiently."

The old shinobi grinned for once under his mask.

"I'd like to hear it. Tell him to present it to me five days from now."


A/N: I decided to tackle this one quickly. Kakuzu deserved a POV, and finances are his specialty, so it was an easy choice.

His number of subordinates: the Akatsuki are a busy group, and someone needs to keep records about their spending. They need to stay above water even if everyone else around them is sinking in debt. Kakuzu needs several underlings to continue everything while he is away.

The inclusion of computers and Internet might be controversial, but I promise you all, it's not the most up-to-date tech. The computers are of the bulkier variety, and the Internet is dial-up.

I think I might of made Kakuzu a bit soft. I hope you can forgive me.

How did you like it?