A/N: Hello, lovelies. And I do mean lovely. Honestly, you're all simply b-e-a-utiful. Want to know why? Because "Roughing It" has passed the 150 review mark! This may be unimpressive for those who manage to hoard hundreds of reviews per chapter, but I'll take what I can get. Anyhoo, the fairest of the land includes but is not limited to: Ranmas's girl1, Frenzied Warrior, Jackie James Criss Potter, Joy, Loslote, IceBlueCrystal, SilverHeart87, deceptive shadows, Lkay09, Lily-Evans-James-Potter, elliey black, Kenzie Alyssa, alicenotinwonderland, Greengirl 17, dddynamite, Jenn222, WhenTheMoonShines, Geoo'97, and L-U-N-A-654.

The list is shorter this time so let's get that bunny fattened up, yeah? The fair is coming up, and (we need a name for this bunny!) he is after that blue ribbon!

(I love how this ^^ totally contradicts the "I'll take what I can get" thing.)

Disclaimer: Actually, I'm kind of flattered that I have to write these things. But really, do I seriously have to disclaim the fact that I'm not JK Rowling and I will never, ever hold a candle to her? It's just depressing.


Chapter 9: Mental Images

Okay, so it was more of a quick, painful peck.

The canoe rocked and James flew forward at the same time I lurched up. Our faces smashed together nose-first, and James's glasses dug uncomfortably into the bridge of my nose. Honestly… I'm not even totally sure it was his lips I was kissing.

But that's not the point! The point is I took control of the situation, and found a creative solution to the problem. He had stopped singing, hadn't he?

"Sweet mother," I muttered, feeling my forehead with my gently probing fingers. Whatever idea I'd had in my head of James and my first kiss, that sure wasn't it. I sat back down on my respective bench with a frustrated huff.

James stared at me, bewildered. "Did you just try to…kiss me?" he asked incredulously. His hazel eyes were bright and confused behind his wire-rimmed glasses. He pulled his glasses off his nose, and quickly wiped them on his t-shirt before placing them back on his face.

"What? No!" I lied, blushing furiously. "That's just psh, no. Why would I, er, do that?" Feeling his eyes on me, I ducked my head and let my hair fall over my face in a curtain. "No," I repeated once more for emphasis.

I played with the hem of my shirt uncomfortably, fixing my ashamed stare on a white and black glob on the edge of the canoe. But I quickly realized I was examining bird poop, and switched my glare to intricate wood paneling on the inside of the boat.

"Lily."

I felt something warm and comforting underneath my chin, coaxing it up. James stood in front of me, studying me casually. His eyes roved my face, searching. A blush crept onto my cheeks, and I yearned for the plush sleeping bag hidden in our tent back at camp. Stupid hormones. Stupid canoe.

"I tripped," I mumbled, looking at anything everything but him.

"Onto my lips, naturally," he assumed, shrugging like this was a given. What else would I trip onto?

"Was that what those were?" I asked dumbly, looking up to meet his eyes for the first time with a blank, curious look on my face. "Hmm."

Suddenly it dawned on me that James's fingers were no longer at my chin. I froze as they brushed my hair back from my face ever so lightly. I struggled to keep sight of his drifting fingers from the corner of my eye.

"Lily, Lily, Lily," he murmured, sitting down on his own seat, just a foot or two away from me, "Hasn't anyone told you that you're a bloody awful liar?"

My heart was thudding in my ears, and my face was positively beet red. "No," I gulped, "I don't believe so."

"No?" He dropped his hand, and grinned at me, back to his usual berk self.

I leaned forward and gave his arm a hard whack. "Prat," I accused, narrowing my eyes at him. Who did he think he was, teasing me like that? The audacity! I picked up my abandoned paddle and began stroking at the water angrily.

James just chuckled and grabbed his own oar. "I wouldn't have minded, you know," he offered off-handedly.

"What?" I sucked in a sharp breath.

"If you did try to kiss me," he shrugged noncommittally, "I wouldn't have minded."

Oh, well that's just ruddy fabulous.

"Awesome," I mumbled under my breath, digging the paddle deeper in the lake. I glanced up at the clear, blue sky. Was there something I did to deserve this?

We paddled back to the dock in silence for the longest time. Occasionally I would glance over my shoulder and meet his gaze with a blush. He would raise his eyebrows ever so slightly, and I'd say something about a rare bird or an oddly shaped cloud.

It was pathetic.

"I thought I saw a…" I wracked my brain for something reasonable when James asked (yet again) what I was looking at. "I saw a…" This is where taking Care of Magical Creatures at the NEWT level would have come in handy. I could spout off some random rubbish, and James wouldn't have the slightest clue. "Shit. Um…"

Did I say that out loud?

I stole another quick look over my shoulder at James. He was staring at me with an amused expression on his face. "A bear. You thought you saw a bear," he suggested, grinning at me.

"Right. A bear."

I swore silently to myself, and continued to paddle back toward the dock, forcing myself to look straight ahead. My neck ached to twist slightly to the right, and my eyes were quite literally itching to get another look at him. Maybe just one more glance… It couldn't hurt, right? And I could always pretend like I had a question to ask. Marlene was constantly badgering me to ask James if Remus ever mentioned her. That would be the perfect opportunity!

As casually as possible, I slowly sneaked a peek over my shoulder, and opened my mouth as if to say something—

James lunged.

His paddle clattered to the floor of the canoe, and I dropped mine in surprise as his hands made a grab for my face. "What the—?" But I was never able to get the words out.

James's mouth came crashing down on mine, nearly knocking me back off the little bench. One hand went to my hip, and the other cupped my cheek roughly. His lips captured mine with a sort of softness and force, moving against them in a way similar to how a ceramist worked with clay. I sat there, paralyzed, frozen with shock while James continued to kiss me, oblivious.

As soon as my brain registered what was happening, my arms latched themselves around his neck and my fingers worked their way into James's messy hair. His lips curled into a smile against mine. I twirled the little hairs at the nape of his neck around one of my fingers, eliciting a groan from deep in his throat.

And then it dawned on me: I was successfully snogging James Potter. Snogging! Successfully! A little giggle burst from my lips, and James pulled back slightly to look at me curiously.

"You're not bleeding, are you?" I demanded, grabbing his chin in my fingers and turning his head to the side. "Any cuts or bruises?"

"What?"

I released his face and sat back with a baffled look on my face. "Huh."

"Is something wrong?" he asked. A little crease appeared between his eyebrows, and this time, I didn't hesitate to reach toward him and smooth it out.

"No," I admitted, sounding every bit as confused as I looked. "Nothing at all…"

"Then why do you look like you just caught Slughorn and McGonnagal doing the dirty in the potions closet?" James added hastily, "Sorry, first thing that popped into my head."

I made a gagging sound and turned away from him. That's what was on his mind? And I was just snogging the poor bloke! "I did not need those mental images…"

James grimaced at me. "It's all the Celestina Warbeck rubbish. She's making my mind go barmy."

"How does a 'hot cauldron of love' turn into…that?" I asked, absolutely horrified by the pictures that were assaulting my mind. Desperate to be distracted, I picked up my paddle and began rowing in the direction of the dock. "Besides, I don't think that's even possible at their age."

James flashed me a wicked grin. "Oh, Lily. Hasn't anyone told you? Anything is possible," he said, and I couldn't help but notice the way his eyes sparkled mischievously behind the wire-rimmed glasses that were slipping down his nose again.

He caught my gaze and threw me a roughish wink. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. His right eye closed slowly and oh so deliberately, and his thick lashes brushed against the lenses of his glasses. I felt like it would be more than appropriate for the fish to jump from the lake and start dancing along with some singing frogs.

I closed my own eyes, lost in the dream, and when I opened them again, James was staring at me curiously. "Er, Lily?"

"What?" I asked suddenly, my head snapping up.

"You just said something about dancing fish…"

I did? Huh. Well, suck a duck. "No, I think you're mistaken," I assured him, looking around nonchalantly, and trying my best to act like he'd just imagined it. "Really, James, we should get you out of this heat."

We rounded a slight bend in the shoreline, and then the dock came into view just a few meters away. Blushing furiously, I paddled hard to the dock just to avoid speaking on any level. When it was shallow enough, James hopped out and pulled the canoe up to the beach next to the rest of them.

I gently set my oar down across the benches and hopped up onto the dock. Sirius was standing at the end, dangling something long and pointy over the lake. The girls were crowded around a lumpy sand structure on the beach, with Frank hauling buckets of sand to them on command. Remus sat on the dock next to Sirius, quietly remarking about his stupidity with Peter adding nods and gasps in all the right places.

"Honestly, Padfoot, what in Merlin's name would convince you that holding a stick…?"

I trotted over to my roommates, and plopped down next to them on the warm sand. "Whatcha doin'?" I cooed, peering down at their sandcastle with what I'm sure was a very scared expression.

"Making a sandcastle!" Alice replied enthusiastically. Mary grumbled something unintelligible and slopped some wet sand onto the top of the structure.

"A castle…" So that's what that was. "For who?" I asked hesitantly.

"A mountain troll, that's who!" Mary cried, throwing the glob of muddy sand she held her hand down on the ground.

I frowned. Now…did this mean that the castle was for the troll, or the castle was the troll? Because all I could see was heaping mound of wet sand. Marlene grimaced at me. "We've been letting Mary have her fun," she explained, gesturing toward the mountain.

"It looks like a volcano…after the eruption," I pointed out. The last handful of sand Mary had added dribbled down the sides like black lava.

"Hmph!" Mary huffed, and stood fully with her hands at her hips, and her eyes narrowed at me. "Well if it's so awful, why don't you go build your own sandcastle!"

Only then did I notice her dripping wet clothing, and drowned cat appearance. Her dark hair clung to her eyelashes, and her soaking clothing literally hung off her body. The cute red shirt she wore sagged to one side, slipping to expose her shoulder.

"Merlin, Mary, what happened to you?" I cried. My wide eyes roved over her homeless-looking body.

Her eyes narrowed into slits. She jerked her head toward the dock, looking mutinous. "Why don't you ask him?" Mary suggested. Her lips twisted menacingly, and for a second I almost feared for "him".

I turned to the left, and scanned the dock. Remus was wearing a secretive little smirk, Peter was watching the exchange raptly, and James looked just as confused as I did. Then my eyes flickered to Sirius. He kept his gaze fixed ahead of him, still dangling that pointy stick over the water.

"Sirius…pushed you in?" I asked hesitantly, glancing at Mary disbelievingly.

"For absolutely no reason!" huffed Mary. She crossed her arms over her chest indignantly.

Alice sighed dramatically, and sank down to the ground. "Sweet mother of Merlin. Frank, rub my back, will you?"

"NO REASON!" Sirius roared, throwing aside his stick forcefully. James caught it with a frightened expression and held on to it for dear life. "NO BLOODY REASON! HOW 'BOUT THIS?" He turned to fully face us, and I squeaked.

"... Jeepers."

He jabbed his finger at his eye, and glared balefully at Mary. One side of Sirius's face was completely covered in black and blue bruises. His right eye was puffy and red, and his nose seemed abnormally bulbous. If I didn't know that their wands were stowed safely in Slughorn's cabin (I'd given the box to him at breakfast) then I would've said Mary had a good go at torturing him.

"It's worse now than it was," pointed out Marlene in a cheerful voice.

"Was that supposed to be helpful?" James asked sarcastically.

I held up my hand to silence everyone. "Would anyone mind telling me what the hell happened to Sirius's face?" My voice was low and dangerous.

Sirius threw his hands up in the air. "She hit me upside the head with a fucking paddle!" he exclaimed. "She ought to be caged, that one!"

Mary sniffed, and stuck her nose in the air. "I told you there would be consequences for making me sit in your lap."

"You could've killed me!"

She rolled her eyes, and shook her head at him like he was a naïve little boy. "Oh don't be so dramatic. You wouldn't have died…just suffered some minor brain damage, is all. No more than you've already endured, anyway."

Sirius just gaped at her. He looked ready to strangle someone.

"I still don't understand why Mary is soaked," I said, attempting to cut the tension in the air and prevent Sirius from doing something rash.

"Well I pushed her in, of course," Sirius explained with a shrug, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Threw would be more accurate," Mary corrected bitterly. "He threw me in."

"You hit me with an oar."

Mary jabbed a finger into Sirius's chest. "You tried to molest me."

"I simply pointed out that the other seat was wet, and it might be more comfortable to share."

James finally came to my defense. "Shut up." His voice sounded incredulous as he shook his head in disbelief.

I stared blankly at both of them for a moment. "You're joking, right? About all of this?" I waved my hands at Mary's wet clothing and Sirius's messed up face. "Seriously. Joke's over. I'm sure Mary slipped and tumbled in, and Sirius just…ran into a tree or something. Right?" I looked around at their dumbstruck faces. "I'm right, aren't I?"

The silence was deafening.

"Er, Lily… I don't think they're kidding…" said James, grimacing at me.

"Oh my God." It suddenly hit me then, and everything they said came rushing back to me in full force. I turned on my roommate. "Mary, you can't just go around smacking people with a wooden paddle! That's assault! You can't do that!"

"He threw me into the lake!" she protested shrilly, waving her arms wildly over her head.

"Yeah, he did… AFTER YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A PADDLE!" My hands gripped at my hair, pulling it from my scalp. And I couldn't contain it any longer. I screamed then, a high-pitched sound coming from my mouth. Birds squawked angrily and fled their perches. A forest fire probably started somewhere in the distance. The sand volcano Mary made seemed to tremble and quake before crumbling into nothing at all.

No one said a word.

"Fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor," I said calmly, smoothing my hair back into place, and adjusting my shirt casually. "Now. Let's all just try to get along for the rest of the weekend. No more hitting people with paddles. No more hitting people with anything! I'd like to come out of this alive, wouldn't you?"

Eight heads nodded back at me solemnly.

I scratched my head and looked around at the group. "Right. Er, disperse." No one moved. "NOW!" I barked.

They all scrambled to get as far away from me as possible.

I grabbed James by the arm and marched away, towing him behind me.


A/N: Poor Sirius. When I was writing this part, I actually called my friend and asked her what she would do if I hit her in the face with a wooden paddle. The answer wasn't pretty. Anyway, if you're wondering about the stick he was holding, never fear. There's more to come. You're free to take a guess, though! In the mean time… The fact that this bunny is nameless is really bothering me. Suggestions, anyone? I kind of like Geraldo…

Review? If only for my sanity?

Much Love,

Jessie