into Archer: Superhero
"My memory will fade away someday, and I will forget about her voice and her gesture.
But still – I'll remember forever that this thing occurred and that I loved Saber."
-Emiya Shirou, Fate/stay Night
Sometimes I still recall
-that dark night of fate I wished would continue forever. The sound of fiercely screaming swords still
rings through my ears. Against the king's treasury, she fought so bravely. Even if I was unable to gaze
upon such a battle, the proof on my right hand confirmed she was fighting with all she had and after I
stabbed the fake priest
-she left.
Our golden separation had everything I ever wanted to say to her. In losing her, the person that sat in the seat
of my heart, I gained a little sister, someone I pledged to protect; therefore I had lost someone precious
but I gained someone precious. I was still at zero.
That is the only reason I survived that separation. The gaping vacancy in my heart was filled ever so
slightly, but now I stand with my heart empty in front of that little sister's grave, right next to the old
man's.
Empty, my heart may be empty but I still have people important to me, thoughts of Fuji-nee,
Sakura, Tohsaka, even Issei, those… I'm scared one day they will also leave me. No, not leave, to leave is
done by choice; I could respect such a choice. I am scared I will one day lose them just like I lost her
-because these hands will never hold anything.
I walk back to the Emiya Household and stare at the streets I pass. These are the same streets she
walked through with me two years ago, so even now I can still feel her presence beside me as if such a
happiness was normal. Two weeks, I only knew that girl for two weeks, yet… why do I view her as
someone I have known all my life? While trying to not think too deeply about that question, I arrive at
the house and enter.
An "I'm home," rings out of my mouth automatically.
There is no reply but I falsely almost imagined her voice chiming the answering phrase "Welcome back."
I walk to Ilya's room; even if she is no longer alive this will always be her room. I still remember the days
after Ilya perished. They were filled with distraught, a distraught filled with grief. My separation with Ilya
was different, so different from my golden separation with her. One went back to her home, proud of
her life, the other tumbled alone into the darkness. I was so distraught, so distraught I left Fuyuki for
England under the pretense of "visiting Tohsaka." I did end up visiting her for a week, but my true
intention was to climb the golden hills "she" had once climbed. Subconsciously I wished to prove that
even if fate did not let us be together, there will always be someway we can be together. I was angry
at fate in my mourning and I think that pilgrimage was my small act of defiance. I walked through any
town, any village that bore any reference to "King Arthur." And in those towns I visited on my selfish
pilgrimage I told those who lived there stories, her story, the story of a girl, not a king, who loved her
nation…but her nation did not love her back. That was the message I preached, yet many did not heed it
and deemed me a fool for believing in her sex was such.
"Who was Mordred?" men would ask.
"Her son, but made from magecraft." I would answer.
They did not believe in the existence of magecraft and it would be an act akin to suicide to show them magecraft existed.
The pilgrimage that took about three months was to end at Glastonbury Abbey - the place she was said to
be buried, Avalon. The first time I glimpsed the area of land I knew instantly this was not the Distant Utopia
she dreamed of. I know since Avalon has lived in my body for ten years. She was not buried here;
this place had nothing to do with her. This place was not Avalon, and it will never be Avalon, so my
intended final destination turned out not to be my final destination. Instead I turned to Camlann and yes,
I could feel her presence. I could see her on top of the hill of bodies clinging onto Excalibur hoping,
praying with all her heart for a miracle. I laid down on the hill with the significance never escaping me.
We are only two people, our timelines converged for two weeks and then we were separated…
so the act of actually walking in your footsteps has made you seem so much more real. And with that I left and
arrived home today.
I returned to the kitchen. In this peaceful kitchen I still remember it, her scent as we cut radish,
the way she ate everything and anything I prepared; she was a perfect person to cook for. Leaving those
thoughts behind I wonder what to make for dinner. Again my family has become a trio, ever since Ilya's
death though Issei comes and eats, rarely though. I absent-mindedly start cutting up the vegetables to
make tonight's curry. I do not concentrate and end up cutting myself again and again. I do not care
because I can barely feel anything. It hurts; it really does, but right now being in this house where
she lived hurts more than a knife injury. With bloodied hands I set the pot to simmer. I leave for the
bathroom to disinfect and bandage my wounds. I slowly rise and go back to the living room. I lift the lid
and let the aroma waft through the house. No happiness, I can find no happiness in cooking, not
anymore because the very act of cooking reminds me of her. Glazed eyes watch the television. No news,
no unexpected gas explosions or serial killings on the street nothing but ( ). Then a long forgotten priest's
words ring through my head:
"Rejoice, boy. Your wish will finally come true."
I hate that he was right, I hate that he was so right about me.
I never knew how much joy filled me until the end of the war.
Empty. Those days past, the days I loved, the person I loved. Gone.
The pot starts making sounds and I sigh, I sigh and return cooking in a somber reflective mood.
Sakura returns home at about five o'clock. She attends the local university which I also "attend." She
cannot decide what to purse nursing or teaching. Both seem to tempt her. However, I believe that Fuji-nee's
influence will tempt her into becoming a teacher. It was Ilya's death that tempted her to try becoming a nurse.
Sakura will inherit this house or her children will at least. It feels like having an heir. Soon after the Grail was
destroyed, Sakura's grandfather died of natural causes. Since that she has being living with me. The day
Sakura moved in, Ilya was ecstatic, but I was surprised, other than the clothes she had…nothing, no memorabilia,
and barely any jewelry that her suitcase looked so empty. It seems the Matou library had been given to Tohaska
and the house sold to pay for Sakura's tuition.
"Senpai," she still calls me that, embarrassing now we are adults, "Welcome home." A genuine smile maybe the
first genuine smile I have seen since coming back.
"Sakura, I'm home." No matter what I feel I cannot help but smile back at this earnest girl.
Fuji-nee won't admit it, but she's getting older, of course she's still in her twenties but in these two years Fuji-nee
has matured. The old man told me a story once about a girl he knew. Her name escapes me but he said one day
Fuji-nee will reach that girl, a bright and cheerful girl, a sun in a world of clouds. The old man shared a great insight.
The hustle and bustle of the old days come back in a pressed manner, no one can truly express their
happiness, yet it would be a great dishonor to those that have fallen to be sad. Fate… I think this is fate. A fate I want
to move on from, never stop moving; after all I have a person I need to chase…
A firing hammer smashes down in my mind and the spell "Trace On," is murmured as a suggestion to change myself and
twenty seven, all twenty seven circuits feebly try to roar. The first lantern shatters, the second shatters, the third shatters,
concentrate, the fourth one shatters, the fifth one cracks, the sixth is reinforced, the seventh is reinforced, the eight is reinforced,
the final stretch, the ninth cracks, and the tenth shatters. Sakura looks at me exasperated.
"You haven't been practicing at all, have you?" she hopelessly asks.
Sakura is a magus. Ilya revealed that. Sakura insists she had no idea what the Grail War was and insists she was not involved. I
believe her because I want to believe that is true. Ever since Tohsaka left for England Sakura has been looking after my training
and acting as Second Owner. I don't understand as I thought only blood relatives could become Second Owner. Sense, there is no
sense, but I have a teacher and most of all, I have a friend.
Situated inside Mount Enzo, the Great Grail is a five hundred meter monolith made from carved magic circles.
In the center lays the true Snow White, the Saint of Winter, never to wake again. Her serene face
and her Dress of Heaven deem her the true Cup of Heaven. However, she has no purpose, she started
the Grail War and she now has no more reason to live. A foreign magus arrived a while ago to shut down
the system ensuring no Sixth Heaven's Feel would occur; however, just because such a system shut down
does not mean the ley lines providing prana for the system were shut down. Even if the Great Grail
would no longer accept prana, prana was sent. And therein lies the problem. The problem created by a
broken man obsessed with saving the world. The last desperate act of that man was create a bump, a
bump in a ley line which over a period of twenty years would collect enough prana – to take down the
Great Grail with an earthquake. It had only been twelve years so there should have been an extra eight
years of peace. Too bad the broken man never fathomed that in ten years there would be another Grail War in Fuyuki. Unprecedented amounts
of prana flooded the ley line which meant unpredicted amounts of prana were "bumped" enough that on this particular night the bump was overflowing.
What about the foreign magus sent to shut down the Grail? Surely he would have noticed the irregularity in that ley line.
It is a mistake that foreign magus would burden himself with for the rest of his life. The broken man
called it the most beautiful piece of magecraft he had created throughout his life. For a man whose
name was the "Magus Killer," a man specializing in trespassing bounded fields, to say such a thing surely
meant that it was near impossible to detect. This bump was to be the final miracle, a seed to grow into a
tree that sheltered the later generations. What would happen would make such a man roll in his grave.
There was no spectacular bang, there was no spectacular explosion, it actually wasn't spectacular at all.
Ironically it resembled the broken man's death, quiet and with a sigh of relief. All it was a slight break in
the ley line and then it collapsed, cut off from the Great Grail. A slight rumble was emitted and that detonated
the explosives the man who could not become a hero left behind. Because they were so deep
underground they were also not spectacular, however the disturbance they caused was enough to
knock out the other ley lines. No more ley lines would supply the Grail prana. Eight years, it was eight
years to early but the Grail was shut down and now unable to start up again. Where would the prana go?
Where would the prana go now if it was no longer plugged into the Great Grail? The prana bled out. The
land once so abundant in prana bled, it bled and it bled, first into the gigantic cavern, seeping, seeping
through the rocks, crushing them. Without a container prana disappears into the atmosphere unused.
But what if… What if that prana was replaced faster than it would take to fade away? A pilliar is created, a
pillar of solid prana, enough prana that a magus would be able to summon heroes of the past, enough prana
for a magus to break a hole into Akasha. That was the amount of prana flooding into Fuyuki. It started from the cavern
and because of that the colourless prana cast a luminous green and bathed the
cavern in an eerier, more unearthly green. The cavern capacity that easily exceeded one thousand units
of mana was saturated to tens of thousands of units. That was the beginning. The pillars only appeared in the paths of
the ley lines. The first fountain to bloom was the temple itself. The thousand stairs all cracked and tumbled as if
an eroding stone sculpture. The hill of golden separation turned into a luminous green
defiling the boy and girl's separation and became littered with green fountains of prana.
And it sped through the Miyamachou suburban district. The prana materialized and the force crashed
into houses and homes. The school that was once a "blood fort" turned into a fortress of prana. If one
looked inside a classroom the sight one would be confronted with would somewhat resemble
ephemeral fireworks that neither flew nor fizzled out. Dense prana held contained for two years, the
Fourth Grail War left at least ninety percent of prana in the grail and then only ten years was needed to
make up the next ten percent. Now the conclusion of the Fifth Grail war, seven Servants were
materialized… eight Servants went back in. An extra Servant's prana was literally "shoved" into the ley
lines and then the Grail and finally back into The Supreme Spiral, Akasha. The lapse in time is because of that eighth Servant.
After sweeping through the Miyamachou district the prana swept through the river. The river started to
glow and with it the harbor. The harbor's glow made the lighthouse negligible on this night. One could
say even the fish leapt out of the sea to see this spectacle.
The Shinto district looked as it was hit by a subterranean wave, a wave that consumed the whole city.
Windows of shops were shattered the skyscrapers tilted and tilted some more. The city was awash with
prana, death by drowning in prana was the prognosis of this city.
Four points there were four points where this anomaly seemed more concentrated; of course,
Ryuudouji Temple, the epicenter. The other places were the Tohaska mansion, the burnt out field, and
the church on the hill. These were the four areas which the Cup of Heaven –The Holy Grail- was able to descend.
The burned out field, the bounded field that saw the end of the Fourth Grail War, instead of being
ablaze with fire and mud the field is ablaze with green prana, a sacred sight that felt defiled in such a
cursed site. Many people were initially frightened about the green prana which looked like a flame, yet
it soon was deemed a harmless phenomenon. The Tohsaka mansion was less lovely. Already known in
the town as haunted the house's reputation further decreased due to the prana pillars being blasted
into the atmosphere. The church that had been empty since that day the foreign magus came to shut
down the system had opened its doors to gaze in rapture at the night of marvel. All four points were set
for a night of miracles.
In a quiet Emiya household Fujimura Taiga was finally asleep after romping around drunk. Due to this
very normal behavior she was unable to see the sight Sakura and I were able to. My eyes were glued to
the scene, prana had burst though the floor of the shed and when we had left to the yard. I imagined all
of Fuyuki like this, fountains, a gigantic fountain, a gigantic fountain of prana. Yet my only thought was:
"I wish she was here to see this."
I think I actually said that out loud. I turned my head and saw a different kind of rapture in Sakura's face.
Fear.
There was something about this sight that frightened her, something so horrendous that made her
cringe. Something terrifying. Her lips slowly moved. No sound…
No, I just couldn't hear those words.
No, I didn't want to hear those words.
To stifle those words I run.
I sprint.
It starts as soon as I pass the school. The spectacle is all over all as the prana starts to fade away into the air
like one of my own projections. What took two years of painfully hoard is gone within the hour.
And it starts the rumble all around me…
"Earthquake"
Those were her words.
No, not words but a prediction and from the look of her face seemed to be something that would pass no matter what,
an inevitability. Sakura was right, the ground's shaking, and houses, buildings, towers, they all tumble.
Cold, I feel a cold breeze my eyes sting and my vision becomes blurry. I cannot save these people in that
burning house. I cannot save those people in this burning house. An emotion of emptiness fills me. I
promised her I would keep to my ideals, so… why am I running to an omnipotential wish granting
machine when I should be helping others in any way possible? I can't, I can't because if I save people
here those people on the other side of the bridge would die. I cannot let that happen. I want a world
where everyone is saved; if I cannot save my world what are the chances of saving the world? So this
time I cannot rely on myself, I cannot save this town if I only rely on myself. My tracing skill does nothing
against something like this even if
-I have created over a thousand blades.
Again I fall; the quake has gone on for ten minutes now and I collapse. The sky is red, so red, fire, fires
from stoves, from chemicals; they all remind me of that day, the day twelve years ago. From my view
flat on the ground it seems like the heavens are ready to rip open. Those are the memories of that day
however this night, this shaking night is nothing like that, it rained then, it will not rain now, the heavens will
not bless this town this night where fate stood still.
"Trace on-"
The words serve as a suggestion to change myself. It hurts, projection is a magic that beyond me. Those
are Tohsaka's words and I know it's true because
-I have withstood pain to create many weapons.
Not just pain, but a pain that washes every emotion out of one's system, every move, every thought,
every sound and redirects all that emotion into two words.
It hurts.
However, facing the sky like this gives me the urge of project something, anything so I will not feel so
alone. So the hammer goes down and I am filled as prana runs through these circuits. I visualize a jumble
of images of famous swords from around the globe.
Gram
Merodach
Durandal
Harpe
How am I supposed to create these blades with my mind alone?
Kanshou
Bakuya
Calabolg
Dansielf
-Because, steel is my body and fire is my blood
Therefore the only tool I need to use projection is myself.
I go deeper to…
Her lost golden sword of assured victory?
No, that sword symbolizes her, but it does not get me any closer to her. Filled with contentment
amongst a hell I let my body project whatever it wishes. My body instantly bypasses all manufacturing
processes, you see as it was a part of my body, my body serves as the blueprint itself and in an instant
resting on my hand is
-Avalon: All is a Distant Utopia.
No sword will ever be projected as perfectly as this sheath.
This is my greatest projection.
I let the light of the phantasm emits wash over me. For a second I am as close to her as I was on that
fateful day two years ago when we both reached for this light.
Like that other day my hand again reaches for the sky, not because the sky is far but because I have
resolved to save as many as possible, so I cannot stay here.
I…have…to…move, that was her action even as she faced death…so…let's go.
-I am the bone of my sword,
so I can endure more than most people.
Amidst the raging earth I stand, I stand in a place where everyone else is falling. As the person standing
I have an obligation to save them. So I run, I run even if the pleas and begging of those that need to be
saved burn my ears, brings tears to my eyes, and breaks my empty heart. Yet, I run, I run through the
abyss of a night guided by the hellfires of burning houses.
A deep cavern is the destination I reach. I do not understand how I came here all I know is that I can see
the Great Grail is here and the dank stench of prana that fills the air is ten thousand. There are at least
ten thousand units of prana here. So again I run. I run through the cavern to a gigantic clearing and start
to climb the elevated surface extending, seemingly extending into infinity.
Step by step by step. The earth has not stopped rumbling. Has not stopped. Help me. I look at my right
hand, nothing, the proof of my time with her is gone. There is no evidence she ever exist other than
what is in my heart.
Step by step by step. Ilya, Ilya, Ilya why did you have to die? You were my only family. When I thought I
would live my life without anyone being related to me… you showed up. You called me your big brother
and even if you… you were someone precious to me.
The rumbling becomes stronger and again I fall however I do not stop moving. Crawling, even if I have to
crawl I do so. Every second that I save another life is potentially saved. Ahhh, I need to move, closer
and closer and closer. There. My hand reaches out and brushes the gigantic monolith. Prana is coursing
through; enough there is enough, enough to save the world, enough to even
memories flash through my mind
-bring her back into this world…
memories of her
No, no, no even if I don't know… know it; I will believe she died happily. I am sure she died proud of her life
and I am sure she does not want another chance at this worrisome thing called life. I rid myself of those
self-effacing thoughts. Bringing the dead back to life and changing to past is wrong, I was the one that
taught her that, so if I go back on my words now… she will not accept me, she will not accept the life
that I had given her so I wish, I wish with all my heart that everyone would be saved.
The Grail does not hear the boy's cries and pleas, after all the ley lines have all been disconnected prana
can no longer be distributed. It however can be siphoned away. The boy does not have the ability to do
that. He is a blacksmith nothing else. All he can do is materializing his inner world. He does not have the
knowledge or ability to siphon prana from this Grail. Moreover the boy forgot, the boy forgot what
every desperate man or woman forgets. No they don't forget, they want to believe. The Grail is tainted.
The Grail is tainted with the curse of all the evils in the world. The boy who fought so earnestly against
those evils forgot about them. The boy so obsessed with saving people as if it was a curse forgot that if
he was to make a wish everyone would just die. The curse of all the evils in the world takes a backseat
when meeting the curse of saving everyone. Maybe they are the same thing, the wish to save everyone
means that there has to exist something to save people from. All the evils in the world are a convenient
excuse to save people. So perhaps the boy's ideal is merely an extension of a curse. Such are the
paradoxes in this world however luckily for the boy another paradox exists because now the Grail has
shut down the Grail can no longer grant wishes, but because the Grail has been shut down the boy's
wish can be fulfilled. Fulfilled but at a cost.
The Grail was not a process for forcing a way into Akasha rather it merely traced a path opened by the
pathway of souls. The world still views this as a threat, so if the world was able to find out what was
going on the counter force would be sent to destroy this ritual. Barriers, numerous high-thaumaturgies
surrounded the monolith and weaved a magecraft close to magic keeping this place under wraps. Now
that the Grail has been shut down and such a great number of people are dying the world has decided
to visit as it visited Camlann on that fateful day. It is this awareness the boy reaches his hand to.
For the second time in his life Emiya Shirou is moved, for the second time Emiya Shirou is moved by
something. From the depths of his heart he is moved by something that is not beautiful, not like she was,
but something that is so overwhelming, so overwhelming that he must be moved by it lest it would
move him by force. This is a thing so great, so great that the awareness can only be called the awareness
of the World.
That is the "thing" I reach for now. I know this will cost me, after all it cost her so much. But I cannot
believe this is a mistake. So I look from the bottom of my heart and reach into the awareness
-and make a pact.
"Save… Save everyone in this town."
The awareness does not respond, it wants an offer.
I think about everything I can offer. Everything that I can offer means nothing to this world. So what can
I sacrifice to save everyone this in front of me?
-Yourself.
That is the final answer. I knew, I knew from the start that not everybody can be saved. So if I can save
so many for my life… I think this life would have been worth it. I'm sure that many would disagree with
me; however, they are not me. The seat of my heart is where she sat. She is now gone, yet she still sits on that
seat. Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do? If I stop here… what will become of my
ideal? I would just be proving that knight in red right now wouldn't I?
I think of the knight in blue and how even if he killed me beginning the night of fate, he ultimately protected my temporary dream.
I think of the knight in red and how even if he told me to follow through with my decision his distant back provoked me to follow the path he took.
I think of the black giant and how even if he loomed like a night without dawn I was bless to watch his fight which replayed the legends so many admire.
I think of the fictitious swordsman and how even if he was only a guardsman he was as elegant as the moonlight.
I think of the lady of fresh blood and how even if she was the ring master of a death circus she taught me how to fall down on my mind.
I think of the witch on top of the hill and how even if she tried to envelope my heart like a Walpurgis Night she died such a pitiful death.
I think of the golden knight and how even if he was an enemy that must be defeated he showed me what I want to protect and that which cannot be surrendered.
But, most of all I think of the girl, the girl who met the boy, the girl who ran through life, the girl wrapped in steel her whole life, and how even if she was my only star, my shining star, the price of our meeting and our settlement with fate was our eventual golden separation.
All these people are
-unknown the Death, nor known to Life
and so will I.
However, this is not for honor, this is for nothing of the sort. This is my final option. I have nothing else
to give other than this. So I will have to give it. I will have to give my everything. The moment I die I will
lose all chance to reincarnate. The moment I die I will lose my past, present, and future. I will lose all and
everything ever precious to me… is that worth it? To just save these people.?
I do not believe it is a mistake
-so as I pray…
"SAVE EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN AND I WILL BECOME A COUNTER GUARDIAN TO SERVE THE WORLD FOR ETERNITY!"
my shout is my answer.
If I become a counter-guardian, I will be able to save many others even after my own death. Save and
save and save. Yes, I know it's self-satisfaction, but that is my choice. I really want to live and die like any
other person, I really did. However:
"…entrust it with me. Entrust me with your dream."
An old promise made under the moonlight assaults my memory.
I will move.
I will move forward.
And I will save.
Even if it is a borrowed ideal
-I believe it is beautiful.
I struggle out of this decaying cavern which is slowly breaking apart.
The hell has quieted, hundreds of lives have been saved, but this is only the beginning.
Slowly I collapse, it seems my body is more ragged then I thought.
I am on the verge of death.
How do I know?
I can seem them, everyone who died
everyone who died so painfully
everyone who died so happily
everyone who died who was important to me
is on the other side of that hill
that hill of swords.
On the verge of death I see the path set for me,
an infinite wasteland filled with swords.
I threw away everything and gambled on a miracle and this is what I have achieved.
Not only that hill of swords, I see my destination at the end of that infinite wasteland.
A girl stands there.
A girl waiting for me to purse her endlessly.
A girl waiting for me to transcend space and time to finally arrive to her embrace.
So even if this journey costs me the memories of her voice and gestures,
-it is recorded in my soul that
-I loved Saber.
So I will start running right now because on the other side of this infinite creation of swords is where all
is a distant utopia.
I put my foot on the start line and take off leaving Emiya Shirou behind.
