Well shit, it's been a while. I'm sorry. It's still short, my head hurts and my brain exploded and I went off of all of my medication so... yeah...
Sollux's P.O.V. :
I don't even bother talking to her. What's the point? She's not even the innocent girl that I knew back then. I'm in that in between stage, feeling nothing except maybe the occasional twinge of self loathing that never seems to leave. I've hit new levels of introspection. I almost feel like my time spent here is truly driving me crazy. I feel like my emotions are stuck inside of me, waiting to get out and they cant. I can't even explode like my manic self usually does.
Karkat and I are actually not at each others throats for once. I guess we're getting used to a tentative version of friendship. It probably helps that I don't really talk much these days. I listen more than I did, and make the occasional sarcastic comment I guess.
He's sick, and that makes it easier too. Or I guess it could be the new meds. I don't know, it could be a lot of things and I should probably stop trying to figure out what one thing has changed me. Where was I? Oh, Karkat, that's right. He's sick. Really truly mentally sick. He's sad and angry and so so so crazy in a smart way. From what I've gathered, Karkat attacked dad-and maybe more people-with a sickle. I still don't know if they are dead or not, but I find myself not caring. He wasn't a good man.
Friendship is new to me. Caring, actually giving a shit about someone-It's fucking insane. In a good way, and not in a stab a bunch of people way... sort of...
This is my 6th week here and I don't know if and when I'm getting out. Karkat, among others (such as that cat girl) have been here a long time. I don't think they're getting out. I'm not sure if I will be either. I feel crazy and my therapist says that I should stop identifying as a crazy person. What the fuck does she know though? I can hardly stay in a room with her as she makes her misguided opinions vocal. It's a stark contrast to Dr. Crocker who I can at least stand.
Through everything though, something is clear to me. Even though the people here, including myself are normally deemed "crazy", we don't need to be here. So Karkat stabbed someone? That person wasn't good. He fucking kicked him around like dirt. I'm here because I tried to hurt myself? Why does that matter?
