CHAPTER 9
This was the turning point he thought he'd never make. Tony choked a little upon that realization that nothing would ever be the same again. He would not only have to submit to Jethro, but he must choose death before he could proceed to being reborn a vampire.
Relinquishing his hold on his human life was the hardest thing Tony ever had to do, but once he made the choice, he knew in his heart that it was the right one. As he prepared himself he understood, with sudden clarity, why Ducky had been unwilling to let his vampire lover Change him, all those years ago. How could a man, a physician who was dedicated to saving lives, surrender his own life in order to be transformed into one of the undead? It was, in effect, committing suicide. First, do no harm – wasn't that the vow?
Ducky's choice to remain human, to relinquish any claim on his lover, Andreas, had been life-changing for him. After Andreas had been killed by vamp-hunters – these days, hunting was no longer practiced, at least not openly – Ducky had abandoned medicine. Unwilling to provide care for either humans or vampires, young Dr. Mallard had instead chosen to minister to only those who were truly dead. And so Ducky became a medical examiner and worked at NCIS ever since.
When Tony had asked Ducky if he regretted the decision he'd made all those years ago, Ducky had smiled sadly and replied, "How can any human live a life without some regrets?"
Now, confident in his decision, Tony slowly climbed the stairs hand-in-hand with Jethro. Jethro kept casting glances his way, as if he wasn't entirely sure of something. "I love you, you know," Tony said as they entered the bedroom. Jethro's eyes lit up, and Tony felt a rush of pleasure. Apparently that was what Jethro had needed to hear, because a second later, Tony was swept into an ardent embrace that made him forget everything – except for the man in his arms.
First, they made love as human and vampire, with Jethro being surprisingly gentle. It was a bittersweet way for Tony to say goodbye to his human form, and afterwards, sated and a little sad, he lay in Jethro's arms, watching the shadows of bare branches dancing across the ceiling as the moon slipped across the inky sky. He knew instinctively when it was time, and lay flat on his back while Jethro hovered over him, licking and sucking his skin while he writhed and moaned.
"I will always love you, Anthony," Jethro said softly, caressing Tony's face.
"Jethro," Tony moaned, and Jethro took that as a sign to proceed. Tony wrapped his arms around Jethro's back, soothing the cool, silky skin, whispering, "It's all right. It'll be fine," as if it was his job to comfort the vampire, to ease some invisible pain it was his burden to carry. Without much thought, as if it were perfectly natural, Tony turned his head to one side and offered up his neck.
There was no warning – razor sharp teeth sank into Tony's neck, blood gushed from the puncture wounds and ran hotly down his neck. Tony screamed in agony. His flesh was being ripped away, and the vampire was sucking hard enough to choke him, but suddenly, Tony was overwhelmed by an extremely strong surge of desire. "Oh God…oh…oh yes…" he cried, as lust pulsated through his body. Both repulsed and wanting more, Tony canted his hips and accepted Jethro's cock as it drove deep inside him. It was huge, unnaturally so, and it felt like he was being ripped apart, but something made Tony cry out, "God! Fuck! More!"
Jethro clung to Tony's shoulders with a fierce grip, pistoning in and out while he sucked greedily at Tony's jugular vein. Without relinquishing his tooth-hold on Tony's neck, the vampire adjusted his position, pulling Tony's hips high so he could thrust his cock deep inside his ass. He set up a relentless, pounding rhythm that matched the rapid beat of Tony's beleaguered heart.
Tony struggled, wanting it to stop, wanting the vampire off him, but he had a grip of iron and was intent upon his feeding. Tony struck out at the beast who was devouring him – but the vampire was too strong, barely grunting at the blows raining down upon him. The vampire changed positions again, pushing Tony down onto the bed, crushing him with his weight. His teeth clamped down and he shook his head side to side, like a dog, rending Tony's flesh. Blood spurted everywhere until the vampire's mouth covered the gaping wound. He sucked hard, and his rough, barbed tongue invaded the horrible wound in Tony's throat. God, it hurt so fucking much. Tony screamed, blood gurgling in his mouth as he pled with the vampire to stop, begging for mercy.
There was none.
The vampire jerked his hips, thrusting repeatedly, deep and hard, claiming him, and despite the pain and blood loss, Tony became incredibly aroused, his cock erect and dripping, his balls aching with the need to come. It was if his body was mirroring the vampire's every action, his hips jerking, his cock seeking friction, fulfillment, release. This wasn't right. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. "No…no," he whimpered, gagging on the blood that welled up in his mouth.
The vampire never ceased feeding, even as he fucked Tony, relentless and cruel. Tony felt himself weakening as his life-blood was drained away. No longer able to fight the vampire, he moaned. His vision grayed out, and the pressure on his neck eased. He could hear his breath sounds, gasping, bubbling froth issuing from his torn throat, and he knew he didn't have long to live. Nobody, not any human, could survive this. He blinked through the haze and saw the vampire hovering over him; his skin was robust and flushed with blood, with his blood. Blue eyes, dark with lust and power, looked down at him, and when the vampire licked his lips and smiled with satisfaction, exposing bloody fangs, Tony knew that all was lost.
He couldn't win, he knew that, but there was still a spark deep within him that told him to fight, even if it meant only to win a small battle. With one hand, he found the creature's balls and squeezed and twisted as hard as he could. Immediately, the vampire roared and stiffened, his semen, hot and thick, searing Tony, deep inside. With an unearthly scream, Tony arched his back as a deep, shuddering orgasm ripped through him. He collapsed, blood gurgling in his throat, gushing from his mouth with every feeble breath he exhaled.
The vampire licked inside Tony's mouth, making small satisfied sound, and when he'd finished lapping up the blood he found there, he returned to the gaping wound in Tony's neck and proceeded to suck his victim's earthly body dry. Tony could feel his limbs dying; he'd already lost all sensation in his legs; his fingers twitched and danced in their death throes; his penis and balls lay limp and blue. His heart was beating only faintly, and it took too much effort to breathe, he simply stopped trying. It was okay to stop, he knew that much. He felt at peace…soon he'd be gone.
Jethro, eyes midnight blue and compelling like never before, poised over him, panting heavily, his lips and teeth stained red with Tony's blood. "Your choice, Anthony. Death or life?"
He was on the brink of death, so close…so close…barely able to see. The world was getting dark now.
The vampire slapped his cheek, demanding, "Anthony! Answer me!"
As his eyelids closed for the last time, Tony thought, Death…I choose death…just let me die, but instead, the word he spoke on his dying breath was, "You." I choose you.
Soft skin pressed to his lax, unresponsive lips. It smelled of sawdust and sweat and sex…and the iron stench of blood. There was a faraway voice, commanding him to open his mouth. Fuck you. I don't have to do what you say any more. But then Tony smelled it: blood. Heavy, oxygen-rich, lifeblood – the vampire's blood. Jethro's blood, mixed with his human blood: a cocktail, stirred, not shaken. Warm, blunt fingers parted his lips a little, and a warm liquid dripped onto his tongue. Blood, life, drink…that's all he knew, and the more blood that dripped into his mouth, the more he came to his senses. Hot, fragrant blood, tasting of earth and ancient times, gushed into his mouth, and down his unresponsive throat.
"Go ahead, drink," he was ordered.
Tony swallowed, and soon he was able to reach for the source of the blood – a wrist – and he drew it to his mouth, holding on for dear life, suckling like a baby until he was strong enough to sink his teeth into the skin and feed. And God, it was good and rich and fulfilling, and he drank down the vampire's blood as if his life depended upon it.
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Becoming a vampire was a painful business. And it wasn't a good kind of pain, either. He could tell from the way the vampire – only now he was Jethro again – was looking at him, holding him protectively, that his life still hung in the balance. He developed a fever, and couldn't tolerate water; it came right back up. All Tony could see was blackness everywhere, as his fatal blood loss rendered him blind. The only time he could see anything was when he was in the throes of nightmares, and those were so horrific he vomited the blood he'd drunk earlier. He pushed Jethro away, moaning through cracked lips, begging to be put out of his misery. Jethro kept force-feeding him blood from his wrist, never flinching when Tony's blunt teeth made a mess of the tender skin. Jethro licked the lacerations on his wrist until they healed, and then he fed Tony again.
With a steady, nourishing diet of vampire blood, Tony's eyesight returned, gray shapes and then muted colors, and eventually the world came back into focus. With his vision restored, Tony could see the relief in Jethro's eyes. Unsure what was a dream, and what was reality, he asked, his voice rough, "Am I…?"
"You will be fine," Jethro assured him.
"I feel weak," Tony complained, surprised that other than a residual weakness, there didn't seem to be much wrong with him. Jethro was stroking him, as if trying to keep him calm, but Tony remembered being raped – because that's what it had been – and fed upon, and the memory was strong enough to make him move away. He was too debilitated to go far, but the bed was big enough that he was able to get out of arm's reach. The shadow that passed over Jethro's face was not lost on Tony. He wanted to hurt the vampire, even if it was a little bit, so he said, "I hate you."
The vampire looked devastated, making Tony want to take it back. He didn't though.
After a moment's hesitation, Jethro said, "Once I started, I couldn't stop."
Tony snapped, "So the word 'no' isn't in the Vampire Dictionary?"
"Not when I'm Taking you. You gave your consent," Jethro said.
"And I tried to stop you! I didn't expect you to chow down on me like I was a… a beef bone that needed the meat stripped off it." Tony didn't care that he sounded resentful. He sat up against the headboard crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the vampire. It was at that point that Tony realized he was naked, so he pulled the covers halfway up his chest. Jethro wasn't wearing any clothing either, and Tony tried not to stare at him, because just seeing so much skin was turning him on. His dick was starting to wake up, and from the way Jethro was checking him out with a slight smirk, it was apparent he knew exactly what was going on beneath the sheets. "You hurt me," Tony said in a tight voice.
"I know, and I'm sorry," Jethro said, sounding sincere.
Tony made himself meet the vampire's eyes, wanting to hold onto his hate, but all he saw was Jethro, looking contrite. Shit, he hated what the vampire had done to him, how it had made him feel, but when he thought about it, deep down, his feelings for Jethro hadn't changed, his love, and that made him angry. Only now the guy was apologizing, damn it. Tony sniffed. "You're sorry?"
Jethro nodded. "Of course I am."
Tony had to ask, "You going to do that again?"
Jethro raised an eyebrow. "Chow down on you?"
Tony frowned, unsure if Jethro was making fun of him. "You just about ripped my throat out," he accused.
Jethro rubbed the back of his neck and grunted.
"I didn't like it. It was too much like…" Like when he'd had the plague and was drowning in his own blood, gasping for every breath like a fish out of water. Tony's hand went to his neck, and was surprised to find that whatever damage the vampire had inflicted upon him during the death-to-life ritual, was now healed.
Jethro spoke cautiously. "Going through the Change is violent and painful, by human standards. I didn't enjoy hurting you, not like that. Damn it, Tony, I love you like nothing else. I need to you to believe that. But the sex is…going to be intense, and until you get used to it, you might be..."
Jethro looked as though he was searching for the right words, and Tony helped him out. "I can take some pain…so long as I know you love me, Jethro." The immediate softening of Jethro's features told Tony all he needed to know. "So, if you love me, maybe you could help me out with this little problem I'm having?" He pushed the bedding down to his thighs, exposing a pretty impressive boner. There were definitely some physical changes going on, because although his dick had always been pretty quick to react to any incentive, the speed at which it had hardened was beating any of his former records. In addition, his better-than-average-size cock was now what Tony could only think of as being a plus size. From the way Jethro was staring at it, and licking his lips in anticipation, and the way his own cock was jutting out from his groin, he was looking forward to taking Tony's new-and-improved dick for a ride.
Tony slipped down in the bed, and motioned with his hand. Jethro moved closer and braced himself over Tony's hips. The second the older man's mouth descended upon his rigid shaft, and he started sucking, Tony grabbed his silver hair and warned, "And no biting!"
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Tony lazily ran his fingers through his hair. "Man, I really need to wash my hair," he grumbled.
"You sound like your old self," Jethro said, holding him gently in his arms.
"But I'm not," Tony said, the reality of his situation sinking in. Sex with a vampire could be rough and harrowing, but he was already becoming used to the intensity of the experience. Tony yawned. Having his dick sucked by a greedy vampire had left him boneless and ready for a good, long nap.
"No, you're not the same," Jethro agreed.
Tony hummed in agreement. Stroking Jethro's hairy forearm, he said softly, "That was nice. The sex, I mean." And now the intimacy they were sharing was nice, too. More than nice. Jethro had taken pains to ensure he was satisfied, and afterwards, he seemed content to lie in bed and cuddle.
"Glad you enjoyed it," Jethro said, kissing Tony's ear. He started licking his earlobe.
"Just one thing… I love your tongue in my mouth, and in my ass and everything but… don't stick it in any open wounds again, okay? That seriously creeps me out."
"Okay," Jethro said, smiling against Tony's cheek. "Rest now and later we'll take a bath together."
"Mmm, nice," Tony agreed, sighing with happiness while slipping into sleep within the protective circle of Jethro's arms.
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The vampire watched over Tony like he was a fledgling about to fall from the nest. But, as promised, Jethro bathed him, being so careful and attentive that Tony was touched. "Nobody ever took care of me like this. You never did before," Tony pointed out.
"Things are different now. In a few days you'll be stronger, and able to move about on your own."
"I can go back to work?" asked Tony hopefully.
Jethro seemed surprised at the question, but he nodded. "Of course, if you want to. Are you hungry?"
Tony nodded. He licked his lips and realized his teeth felt funny. "My teeth itch. They feel…bigger," he said, looking to Jethro for an explanation.
Jethro pushed back Tony's lips and seemed pleased at what he saw. "They're coming in. Feel them."
Up to that point, when feeding, Tony had been doing his best with his human teeth, but now he wanted to try out his new sharp teeth. "Do I always feed from you? Won't you run low on blood?" He realized how little he knew about the process.
"Until the moon passes, you feed from my wrist. Afterwards, when the Change is complete, you can bite me here…" He touched the side of his neck. "Or here." Jethro pointed to the crook of his arm and then to his groin. "At some point, you're gonna need another source, a donor, or you can withdraw blood from the blood bank. You'll still need to drink from me on a regular basis though."
"I don't think I want to…to drink from anyone else," Tony said, flushing at the admission.
"Good, because you're not going to," Jethro said sternly. "The only vampire blood you'll ever drink is mine, and I'll drink yours."
Tony liked the sound of that, but he asked, "You said I can bite humans? It seems…sort of like cheating." He wasn't at all sure he could sink his teeth into a stranger, or even a friend.
"There's anonymous donor blood available. You take it by transfusion while you're still maturing. You'll burn through a lot of blood at first, so you need to learn to pace yourself when you're doing physical activities," Jethro warned.
"Transfusions? I don't like needles," Tony said, making Jethro laugh.
"I get the feeling you're going not going to change much," Jethro said, apparently liking the idea.
"I feel like me. Except for my teeth. And my dick. But…Jethro? Where've you been getting your blood from?" Tony asked, curious. "I never see you…You don't look like you're starving or anything. In fact, you look pretty damn good right now." Jethro did, too, with clear eyes and skin that seemed smoother. Was his hair a little darker? Tony leaned back and narrowed his eyes. "Are you…younger?"
Jethro looked uncomfortable. "It's because I drank your blood. The bond between us, your youth, it affects me. It'll last for a while." He answered Tony's other question, saying, "I have a few friends who contribute blood to me. Some tap it out and I reserve it. It's okay mixed with red wine but don't try it with beer or bourbon." Jethro pulled a face. "Anyway, there are a couple of ladies I've known for a long time, who like to be wined and dined, and afterwards…"
"And afterwards, you neck?" Tony asked, trying to still the surge of jealousy.
A blush crept up Jethro's neck. "Something like that."
"So they're just donors," Tony ascertained.
"Friends with benefits," Jethro said with a slight shrug.
"I'm not sure I like the idea of sharing you," Tony said, feeling unusually possessive.
"I don't do it often. But I need to, to keep up my strength."
"It's like a medical condition," Tony reasoned.
"In a way," Jethro agreed. "I wouldn't feed from them if I didn't need to, Tony."
Tony turned so he could look into Jethro's eyes. He could feel the truth in him, like a vibration emanating from his core. He wondered how much they could feel of each other, how deeply, and he reached out with his mind. Love, that was coming from Jethro in strong waves, and Tony reciprocated, letting his own love for the man radiate from his heart. Far from being intrusive or disturbing, it was comforting and quite intimate. Jethro smiled in understanding, and Tony said, "Okay. So long as you come home to me."
"I'll always come home to you, Tony," Jethro said, suckling at the skin under his jaw.
Tony sighed and settled back against Jethro's chest. "Mmm. Good. Just remember, I'm a federal agent with a gun. I can track you down…"
"I'm not going anywhere," Jethro said, offering the vulnerable underside of his wrist to Tony.
Tony didn't hesitate to press his lips to the veins that pulsed just under the surface. He felt a gentle hand on the back of his head, encouraging him to proceed, so he sunk his teeth into Jethro's wrist and sucked hard. He felt Jethro flinch at the ferocity of his bite, but within seconds, Tony's entire being was concentrating on the rich, revitalizing blood that only a true vampire could offer. It tasted like sweet nectar, or a rare, juicy steak, with a light flavoring of pinewood, he thought with a smile. He could definitely get used to this.
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