AN: Comments welcome! Thanks for reading.
Chapter Nine
She took another sip to drown out the thought. As long as she'd known Elliot, she and Kathy had existed in parallel worlds with Elliot being the only point of intersection. Elliot had always been the man who didn't take his work home and didn't bring his personal life to the office. Elliot had always kept Olivia and Kathy in different realms, which could have been insight into the fact that they were so different they would never get along or it might have simply been that he didn't want them ganging up on him. It wasn't like Olivia could ever ask him about it, not since she generally liked to pretend that Kathy didn't exist.
Olivia propped her elbow up on the armrest and yawned. Considering that she'd realized she was in love, slept with her partner, quit her job, and drunk herself stupid in just over twelve hours, Olivia wasn't sure it would be rude to ask Kathy to leave. She wasn't sure she wouldn't fall asleep right where she was and leave Kathy sitting there alone.
"I need Elliot to come home."
Her words confused Olivia. Elliot wasn't much for confiding in her. Elliot liked to keep things to himself until they were completely out of hand, so in retrospect, she thought it was surprising he'd even told her about the pregnancy. Not that his pregnant estranged wife wasn't out of hand. Of course, the fact that she was pregnant meant that she wasn't really all that estranged, but that pissed her off and she didn't want to think about it.
She glanced at Kathy and realized the other woman was waiting for some kind of response. Kathy expected whole-hearted agreement, a statement that her husband absolutely needed to go home and raise a second generation of children with her, to let himself get hurt by her again. But she couldn't make anything come out. She remained quiet.
Kathy's eyes widened when she noticed the silence had stretched beyond the possibility that Olivia was searching for the right words. It was obvious that the silence meant something, and she suspected she knew exactly what. Her voice was soft and controlled, yet laced with tension and anger. Olivia pitied Elliot for having had to hear it untold numbers of times over the years. But she was irritated with him over it too, because he'd never let her use that tone with him. "Is there something you want to tell me about my husband?"
Olivia weighed her options. There was always the truth, but the pain in admitting what had happened, that regardless of the connection she'd thought they found, he'd gone back to Kathy after all, was too much. Olivia felt tears threatening and took a sip to ward them off. She could always tell Kathy how Elliot had suffered when she left him, how he'd been hurt terribly by their separation, but that he'd survived. Kathy had never realized that Elliot had gotten through it, fought his way clear of the pain of losing his family, and had been fine without her.
She understood finally where her deep resentment of Kathy had started. She'd seen how stressed and upset the strain of his marriage had made Elliot over the years. She'd seen the guilt and self-loathing he'd felt over not being able to be there for his family like normal husbands and fathers. She knew that Kathy had done little to comfort him, that she'd tried to use his sense of responsibility to make him into the man she wanted rather than loving the man he was. And most of all, she'd seen Elliot in those precious months after he'd signed the divorce papers, after he'd let go of the albatross that had been choking him for years. He'd been the same man she'd always known, but somehow better. Olivia had liked unattached Elliot. She enjoyed his easy-going manner and quick jokes and flirtatious smiles, even when they were fighting. Life with him was easier and, Olivia suspected, life for him was easier too, even if he didn't know it.
And there was Kathy, holding the rope and asking Olivia to help her tie it tight around his throat once again.
"Look, Kathy, I don't think this is something I should be involved with." It was as close to telling her she was wrong as Olivia dared to get. Unfortunately, Olivia suspected some of the meaning was lost on the fact that she was slurring so badly she barely recognized the words she was saying.
Olivia watched as Kathy's jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed. She didn't like what was coming; she knew it before the other woman opened her mouth. But the words were worse than she expected.
"Are you having an affair with my husband?"
Olivia's mouth fell open. Well, now, that was an interesting question. Her gut reaction was to deny it, to say it was absolutely untrue. She'd heard the accusation, the suggestion, countless times over the years. It was a common mistake for people to make when they saw Olivia and Elliot together, provided they weren't flashing their badges, especially when they were squabbling over stupid things while Elliot picked food off her plate. She'd deflected the statement a million times without so much as a thought. No, they were friends. Partners. Acquaintances. Coworkers. Anything. Just not a couple.
But it was different coming from Kathy. She could have blamed it on the alcohol, which would have been a perfectly rational explanation for her paranoia. She could have blamed it on the fact that she had slept with the woman's husband only a few hours earlier, which also would have been a sufficient cause for her to feel like the world was out to get her.
Neither of them was the reason though. It wasn't some random stranger confusing a man and a woman walking together as lovers. It wasn't a ridiculing coworker accusing them of bickering like a married couple.
No, it was his wife. And she was making the suggestion that something could be going on between them. Something that seemed so preposterous when said by a stranger as to usually cause her to laugh seemed terribly possible coming from Kathy.
Which made Elliot's actions that much more painful. Realizing that she was in love with him made a relationship between them sound reasonable to Olivia. Hearing that Kathy feared that very thing made a relationship between them sound perfectly plausible. But that morning, when he'd asked her if she expected him to leave Kathy for her, his tone and delivery gave Olivia the impression that he thought such a thing was completely out of the sphere of rational thought. And he'd made Olivia feel like a fool for thinking there was even a remote chance of it ever happening.
Olivia had been used for sex before. She figured that by her age most women had had the unpleasant experience of knowing the man that seemed so perfect the night before wasn't ever going to call again. But she'd never been used that way by someone she knew so well, by someone she truly believed was above acting so selfishly, by someone she loved.
Of course, it was only fair to qualify the truth by acknowledging that, with the standard exception of a few teenage crushes, she'd never actually been in love with anyone before, making it thus impossible for her to be used by him. Not that it took the pain away. That was the vodka's job. And the vodka was about to be fired for failing entirely to carry out its responsibilities.
Setting the mug down on the coffee table, Olivia noticed her unwelcome guest was staring at her. The irritated expression on her face reminded Olivia that Kathy expected an answer. Unfortunately, Olivia couldn't remember the question.
"Huh?"
Kathy's face reddened, revealing her fury. "Are you having an affair with Elliot?"
Olivia closed her eyes, decided the vodka was not to blame for not working after all, and reached out for it. In her drunken state, and with her eyes closed, her coordination was somewhat lacking. She knocked the mug onto its side, spilling what was left on the pile of magazines. It took all the concentration she could muster to right the mug and pour herself another drink. For the most part she'd missed the mug and it was dripping when she put it to her lips once again.
Kathy wanted to know if she was having an affair with Elliot. The word affair implied a much longer involvement, and considerably more commitment, than one meaningless night. Affairs involved cards and flowers and dates and romance and sneaking around, which completely ruled out the activities between Olivia and Elliot, unless meeting for coffee at three in the morning twice a year counted. And she didn't think Kathy needed to know that Olivia wished it were different. Lowering her drink, she shook her head. "Nope. No affair."
Olivia expected to see some sort of triumph on the other woman's face, the same sort she would have had trouble holding back if the situation had been different. But Kathy didn't look happy. She didn't even look convinced. But she dropped it. "I need you to tell him to come home."
Olivia sipped at her drink, barely getting a taste of it down. She didn't even want it, but it bought her a few seconds to think. "Wouldn't listen if I tried." She wasn't sure if her words were intelligible at all, so she wasn't going to waste time on pronouns. Besides, it was true. Elliot wasn't the best person with advice, most certainly not when it was uninvited. Hell, he didn't even want advice when he didn't have a clue what to do as evidenced by their little talk in the diner. And if Olivia was going to try, she wasn't going to give him the crappy advice Kathy wanted.
"He'll listen to you. You're his partner." Kathy spat the final word as though it were some kind of insult.
Olivia chuckled at the thought. She wasn't anybody's partner anymore. She looked at the liquid in her mug and knew one more sip would be the end of her tolerance. She leaned her head back instead, squeezing her eyes closed when the room started to spin. The spinning intensified, so she slowly returned to the previous position. "I'm not feeling so good. You should probably go."
Kathy slid sideways on the couch, moving closer to Olivia's chair. "I'm sure you think you know what's good for him, but I'm his wife. I know what he needs. He needs to come home." She was using her mommy voice, the one that told her children in no uncertain terms that they were not going to a party where no adults would be present, that they were not adopting a dog, and that they were not going to get out of church on Sunday. It pissed Olivia off that she was getting it. She'd never had to endure condescension from her own mother; she sure as hell wasn't about to abide it from Kathy Stabler.
Olivia met her eyes in a cold stare. "Maybe you don't know him that well." It was a gut reaction, an impulse born of years of training to protect her partner from harm, even if the harm was the wife and kids he mistakenly thought made him happy. That and the burning memory of his hands on her. He sure as shit hadn't needed Kathy when he'd been touching her.
Kathy's jaw dropped open, her eyes accusing, her mind undoubtedly returning to the question they'd only just settled. "I know what my husband wants better than you do, Olivia."
Olivia wanted to explain how she knew better what Kathy's husband wanted. She remembered the ferocity of that first kiss. She remembered the feel of him pressing against her on the street. She remembered his certainty when he'd suggested going home together. She remembered the way he said her name when he was buried deep inside of her. She remembered the look in his eyes when the rush overwhelmed him, when he'd emptied himself into her. Even if it had been purely sexual, Olivia still knew his desire had nothing to do with Kathy. In spite of the day's disastrous start, Elliot's response to her touch was real. And it was hers alone.
As if to further complicate the situation, Olivia's phone, which was lying on the coffee table, began to ring. Olivia knew, absolutely knew, with the sixth sense that knew when a suspect was guilty, that Elliot was on the other end of the phone. She would have grappled with answering his call had she been alone. But she wasn't alone. She was being confronted by his wife and she desperately wanted to pick up the phone and tell him as much. Except that Elliot had hurt her terribly that morning and she couldn't deal with him, not even to tell him about Kathy, not even to threaten him that she would tell Kathy. Especially not since Elliot had obviously made it to work and discovered her ad hoc career change.
The phone continued to ring until voice mail mercifully silenced it. The silence didn't last long enough for both pairs of eyes to leave it. Elliot never left her messages; he'd simply keep calling until Olivia answered the damn thing, in much the same way he would knock on her door. By the third call, it became clear that he was nothing if not consistent.
Kathy smirked. "That's him, isn't it?"
"It's probably work." Olivia saw no need to tell Kathy that she didn't work anymore; god forbid that would lead to a question as to why that was, which Olivia might just answer in the hopes of getting rid of her.
Kathy nodded slowly as the ringing paused before restarting for the fourth time. "Since you're not feeling well, would you like me to answer it?"
"I'm in no shape to catch a case. They'll have to call someone else."
"Maybe I should tell them as much." Kathy leaned forward, boldly looking at the lit display on the phone.
