'Come on, mommy!'

Jak gripped my hand in one of his and signed with the other. I gasped. "Mom- mommy's sick, Jak." The buildings were flying by, a blur of sandstone and broken windows. The bags I held banged against my legs.

He pointed feverishly.

"Yes. Home. Finally." My sides heaved. I collapsed and leaned against the door, breathing hard, my heart thundering in my chest. Jak stood with wide eyes, looking at me and biting his fingertips. "Mommy's gonna be okay," I gasped. I groaned and turned away. "Don't be afraid, honey. Mommy's gonna be okay."

He let me sit, face against the splintered door, until my breaths came slower. Finally I pulled my legs up and set my chin on my knees. Jak pushed some strands out of my face, and they stuck to my hair with sweat. He held out one small hand in a half shrug.

'Jelly?'

I laughed, shutting my eyes and feeling the sound go hoarse and cut up the back of my throat. I turned and spat blood at the lower door hinge. "Maybe that will stop the squeaking," I said quietly.

Jak was picking up the bags and trying to find the house key. "It's in the bottom of the corn sack. No, the other bag. The one without your clothes." He pulled out a roll of bills and raised his eyebrows. "Ooo Jak! Put that away!" I lowered my voice to a whisper as he hastily shoved it back. "We can't let people see that sort of thing." He nodded and found the house key.

"Ugh." I pulled myself up and took the key. "Thank you, honey." As the door swung open we heard a beeping noise. "Oh! Honey we have a message." Jak stooped and picked up the thin disk that someone had slid under the door. We threw the bags on the bed and sat on the floor together. Jak waved his hands excitedly. "Can you get mommy some water? Make sure it's been boiled." He did an impatient dance, wanting to hear what was on the disk. "Please?" He lowered his eyes and dragged the bottle of boiled water over to me. "Thank you, Jak."

He pointed to the disk.

"All right, all right." I took a big gulp of water. It was bitter but good. "This is a real cheap one," I said, pointing to the hole in the middle of the disk. "Rich people have disk readers, but since we don't, they make these kinds of disks. You put your finger here and spin it around. Then it plays the message." He tilted his head questioningly. "Sorry sweet one, I don't know how it works. It just does. Do you want to try?"

Jak nodded and jabbed his finger in the hole. He spun his wrist around, but he couldn't do it fast enough. He squinted at the disk and handed it to me.

"That's okay, honey, it takes practice." I spun the disk.

"AWK!"

We both sat back, startled.

"This is Pecker, here. If that stupid messenger boy didn't deliver this disk to Cilley, please return it to Onin, and we'll give you a free palm reading."

It paused for a minute.

"You really, really have to be Cilley to hear this," came the moncaw's voice. "Don't make me hurt you from afar."

Jak shrugged. I kept spinning the disk.

"Okay, down to business. Cilley, Onin has found the protector for Jak. She says that you have to come here as soon as you can. But first you have to do the First Year Rites."

My jaw dropped.

"Listen to whatever it is whoever it is tells you, then get your magical brat over here."

Jak folded his arms and pouted.

"Don't keep us waiting!" There was a short silence. "AWK! This is Pecker..." I stopped spinning the disk; it was just going to keep repeating the message now.

I groaned. Jak looked at me, a million unspeakable questions running through his mind. "What a long day," I said, chugging water. "Doxies, sandwiches, shopping... and now the First Year Rites." I sighed.

Jak got up and his fingers flew. "Honey, you're going too fast-" He stomped one foot and waved his arms around. "Honey, please, I can't-" Jak grabbed my hand and put it on his chest. He started to cry. "What is it?" The medallion was cool under my fingers, but I could feel nothing else. He shut his eyes and opened his mouth. It is an unearthly thing to see a child wail without making a sound. "Oh Jak!" I hugged him, wondering why he was so upset. He was my little boy, crying rivers into my cheap shirt and unable to say why.

"Jak?" I wiped his face with the back of my hand. "Jak, honey, you gotta tell mommy."

He took a deep breath and his shoulders shuddered. He pointed to the disk, then to me, then did an impersonation of Pecker.

"Did what he say bother you? You know you're not a brat-"

Jak shook his head. He signed, 'new word,' and pointed to the disk.

"Oh. Hmm," I tried to think of what words Pecker had said that Jak didn't know. "Palm reading?" He shook his head. "First Year Rites?" He shook his head. "Protector?" He nodded. "You don't want to- oh. Oh." Jak knew, somehow. He knew that the protector was going to take him away from me. I can't believe he remembers that from when we visited Onin last year. "Jak," I put my hands on his shoulders. "Tonight I'm going to do the First Year Rites. We'll see what happens. If Onin says you need a protector, then you'll have one. Do you understand? Mommy loves you very much." But she can't say she'll never leave you. Oh Mar. I felt tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. "But enough about that. Why don't you go shower and then you can put on your new clothes? The nice store lady says they can't get dirty. Isn't that neat?" He sniffled then trotted off to the shower with the bag of new clothes.

I watched him shut the curtain half way, stick out one hand and wave, and pull it shut. I wiped my eyes. "First Year Rites." I walked over to the circle of trophies and picked up the small one. "I can't believe it's been a year," I said, touching the holopicture. Drusus smiled his eternal smile and the shower clicked on.