"I don't want to ruin your life-changing, star-crossing moment, but we've got a problem," said a particularly flat voice from beyond Zuko. The waterbender and the firebender both jumped, turning to stare in disbelief at the newcomer.
Her hair was black silk, her skin porcelain; she looked like one of the fancy dolls that Katara had seen in shop windows back in the Earth Kingdom. Her expression was about as irritated and dull as her voice, but it was her gray eyes that pierced Katara.
Her eyes were hurt beyond what she'd thought capable of the older girl, but if the other girl wouldn't comment on it, neither would Katara. Stepping awkwardly away from Zuko and looking to him so he would say something, Katara's heart leapt in a most unpleasant way.
Zuko blinked and paled, then blushed, and paled again as he stared at the girl before him; a girl so unlike Katara in every way that he barely remembered anything about her anymore.
"Mai," he said, coughing.
"Zuko," said the older girl, sickly sweet sarcasm dripping from her voice. "How nice to see you."
"Uh, yeah." He nodded, putting a hand up to scratch the back of his head. His neck was an awkward shade of scarlet, and he cleared his throat and tried to speak. "Wh-Where's my sister?"
Mai scowled. "I'm not going to give you that." Throwing Katara a withering look, she continued, "But I'm here…to talk." It sounded like she was gagging as she spoke, and Katara suddenly felt that there was a lot more between Mai and Zuko than she'd thought.
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Katara steeled herself and stepped forward, hating that somehow she'd ended up at Zuko's elbow rather than his side. "What are you here to talk about?" Casually bending water away from nearby shops and dropped cups, Katara glanced around, suddenly thankful that anyone who might've been on the street during the dance were now probably sleeping. She didn't even see stragglers.
A blush crept onto her face when she realized how long it must've taken everyone to clear out…how long she and Zuko had…
Wrinkling her noise, she pushed more pressing thoughts away and raised her eyes to Mai's, who was considerably taller than Katara and was very skilled with knives. Great. So I'm more or less helpless if she tries to skewer me.
The older girl hesitated in her response, opening her mouth to speak, and then looking away. It seemed like she wanted to fidget, but her arms remained crossed in front of her – she may be lenient with Azula, but she was stubborn when it came to Zuko.
"Can't we talk somewhere more…private?" she asked awkwardly, shifting her weight around on her feet. Zuko flinched, turning to stare at Katara. The waterbender realized he was waiting for her to answer, and was about to respond when Mai snapped, "Oh, come on, Zuko. Can't you decide for yourself? Or do you need orders from everyone?"
"If you haven't noticed, Mai, you're an enemy." Zuko moved closer to Katara, casually raising a hand to her elbow. "We are allies."
Something about the way he said it made Katara feel all sorts of wrong, like a child witnessing a family argument that wasn't meant for her ears. Cursing herself for even thinking that they were the 'adults' here, she straightened her posture and raised her chin. I'm only a few years younger than you, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid.
"We can go," she murmured to Zuko. "Lead the way."
He glanced at her with an expression that she didn't understand, but turned, gesturing for Mai to follow them as well. Mai grumbled, lightly grabbing at her skirts and trudging after them, frowning at Zuko's back while she passed Katara.
Falling into step behind the older girl, it hit Katara.
Oh, she realized. They were…involved.
"You should know that I'm still an enemy, in the big book of schemes that your sister is writing." Mai said as soon as the door to Zuko and Katara's room was shut. Moving to stand near the center of the room, she turned to face the pair.
"Why are you here, then?" Zuko replied. His face was blank, but his eyes looked as if he had been stung by a spider wasp. They were pleading, almost, as he stood next to a waterbender in his home nation; across from his ex-girlfriend, who he no longer considered a friend.
Mai stared back at him with the same blankness, but none of the emotion. It wasn't like she was past caring, but she'd never show her real feelings in front of the waterbender. She didn't even look at the younger girl, but derogatory thoughts ran through her head.
Despicable. He could have stayed home and gained anything he wanted: a pretty girl who came from money, a respectable home and respectful servants, and maybe even his father's acceptance somewhere down the line. But now he's with the lowest scum there is.
She wasn't sure whether she actually thought that of the waterbenders as a whole, or just this particular little girl who seemed to be in control of Zuko. Right now, Mai didn't really care. She had a message to deliver, and she'd get it done as soon as possible so she could go.
She looked like a charcoal sketch; black hair, gray eyes, and ivory skin. Katara was once again reminded of a fine doll. Fidgeting, the waterbender raised her face to study Zuko, then said, "I think I'm gonna go get some air."
"Yeah, you do that." Mai's sarcasm came a little too quickly but still cut like a knife, and she swallowed as Katara stepped out of the room and into the hall, keeping her eyes on everything except Zuko.
There was a tense silence between them, as he stared at her and she pretended not to notice. That silence was filled with everything they'd ever experienced as one. Ty Lee and trailed-off sentences, Azula and the smell of burnt flesh, and then the memory of pale skin against pale skin, dark hair against dark hair; thoughts left unspoken, letters never sent.
It felt like a thousand of Mai's knives and needles had all aimed right at Zuko's chest, hitting their marks. The guilt and the misery and the fear and the love all fought against each other inside him, and he knew he should be the first to say something about it, the first to crack, but he couldn't. He was a changed man, and she probably was different as well.
But he didn't want to keep Katara waiting, because when she was away from him, as he'd learned, she tended to disappear. He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory of his hands on her bare stomach, her arms around his neck, and a new feeling of remorse welled up within him; she was becoming the lump of tears and words caught in his throat, the ice in his firebender's veins.
I shouldn't have kissed her.
His throat worked and the muscles in his jaw jumped. He balled his fists, trying to focus on the girl standing in front of him – she who was so cold and distant, so abandoned; and he knew that any warmth he could've given this untrusting girl, this broken, beaten pawn in Azula's game, was gone.
Mai's eyes were older and more fatigued than he remembered. Katara's were round and blue and innocent. Mai's lips were in a straight, white line, as if she was keeping herself from saying anything and everything about what she'd seen him doing.
They'd broken up…They'd broken up. But why did he feel so awful? It'd been a while, but every now and then, he would recall a witty remark that Mai had whispered under her breath to him, as Azula's back was turned; he would recall the feel of her soft lips on his, her nails trailing along his scalp as she kissed him.
"Mai," he began, but hesitated as her eyes finally landed on him. Clearing his throat again, he opened his mouth to continue, but she cut him off.
"I don't care about your stupid love life," Mai lied, lifting a hand to examine her nails. "But as I said, we've got a problem."
He stifled a sigh, readjusting his look at things to get to where she was, because although she was obviously remembering everything he was, Mai was raising her chin and crossing her arms and looking as defiant as ever.
"What problem is that?" he asked slowly, not wanting to seem like he was in a rush. He glanced at the bed behind Mai, knowing that she would think he wanted to get Katara in it sooner rather than later. Even though Mai knew him, knew how he did things, she would suspect it, and he owed it to her and respected her enough to not let her even imagine…
"Azula is sending a fleet of soldiers around the island to scout for her," Mai began, gesturing at the door that Katara had just exited.
"What? Why?" Zuko snarled, incredulous. "She's already got the Avatar!"
"That's what I thought," Mai replied. "But she doesn't think that the Avatar's girlfriend just wandered off. She thinks they're up to something. So she wants to round them all up, and the waterbender is the last piece of this big, stupid puzzle."
"But why do you care?" Zuko asked after a moment of taking it in. His thoughts had rushed to his little sister, with lightning spurting through her fingers like blood through a wound.
"I don't. But your uncle does." Mai stepped closer, just slightly, but it was enough for Zuko to notice. She continued, "He figured he could reach you through me, and he was right."
The exiled prince gave her a puzzled look, and she rolled her eyes before elaborating. "As I said, I'm an enemy. But…my allegiance, for the time being, is to you, Zuko."
"I can't trust you," Zuko said, throwing his hands up in denial. "My uncle would never…he knows that…"
"Do you really think I would bother pretending that your uncle asked me to come see you just so Azula could let you know she knew your whereabouts? Don't you think that if she sent me here, she would know that you've got the precious little waterbender with you? Just to make it harder on the both of us?"
Mai's eyes were hard and accusing, but she was right. Zuko poked at the idea of Azula sending Mai to go deal with him and knew that Azula would do it if she could, because if Zuko was with another girl, Mai would jump to conclusions.
In some ways, Mai was a lot like Azula.
"Okay," Zuko gave in. "Why did he need to reach me?"
"He said he needed to see you. He told me you'd be here, and to come and tell you to get to him as fast as you possibly can."
"And now I'll need to move even faster because of the soldiers that are looking for Katara," Zuko groaned.
"You want to take her with you?" Mai's face got even paler, and her eyes widened slightly with diluted fury. "Fine, but if they catch you, I'm not helping you get out. You're on your own from here. Take them on if you want, but I have to leave. I can't have them seeing me," she added hastily. "Don't expect me to do this again. I'm returning to your sister in the morning. This isn't a problem that's mine."
"Thank you," Zuko said a little too soon.
"Don't thank me," Mai demanded, turning her face away, and Zuko sighed against the memories they shared, even as his body remembered the heat from Katara, which resonated in his bones, crawled under his skin, and attempted to burst through his eye sockets, ears, and mouth; desperate to get out, to break free.
Mai left in a swirl of dark hair and pale skin and red skirts, and the image flooded Zuko's mind with the days that he and Azula would be fitted for robes; often they'd be invited to ceremonies and his father would force them to go, just to get rid of their running around the palace.
Katara entered the room after she saw Mai leave, hesitantly opening the door to find Zuko standing in the same spot she'd left him in. She shut the door quietly and moved to stand beside him, staring up at his pale, scarred face.
"Were you close?" she asked a little too abruptly, but his answer came the same way, like a dam being pelted with water and gravel and logs until finally, its burden broke free and destroyed the dam along with everything in its path.
"Very. The closest I've ever been to someone, besides my uncle." He paused, thinking. "As close as I could be to her, at the time."
"I see," Katara said, and then there was nothing more to say on the subject. Zuko snapped out of whatever reverie he had been floating in, and told the waterbender what Mai had told him, leaving out the part about the soldiers looking for Katara.
"He's in Ba Sing Se," Zuko began. "It may take a while for us to get there, but he's asked us to go see him."
"What about Aang?" Katara asked, surprised. "I can't just leave him."
"Azula won't hurt him," Zuko told her. "Mai told me that she'll be trying to convince Aang to work for my father."
"He'll refuse," replied the waterbender. "He won't do it."
"Then they'll imprison him," Zuko amended. He knew well enough that Azula wasn't one for torture when she wanted to make friends, odd as her friendship initiations were. He remembered her forcing Mai, Ty Lee, and her own brother to do all sorts of nasty things, but he didn't believe for one moment that she would hurt the Avatar; not when she could get something useful out of him. "Believe me, Katara, he'll be alright," Zuko pleaded. "But I have to go see my uncle."
"Great," Katara said sarcastically. "Aang's been captured and we're leaving to go have a chitchat date with your uncle." She swallowed, looking out the window. "You're sure they won't harm him?"
"Not as long as they think he's of use. And he's the Avatar, so that's more or less eternal."
"This is too sudden," Katara whimpered despite herself. She fidgeted with the ends of her hair, wrapping one strand around her index finger over and over again.
"Everything is too sudden," Zuko replied. He didn't want to ask her for her trust, and he understood that he was really going to have to earn it, but he needed her to come with him, for fear of leaving her all alone against the soldiers that were coming. "Please. He can help."
Katara raised her face and stared up at him, her wide blue eyes picking apart every inch of his as she contemplated, and remembered their sudden, passionate kiss. A bright red blush flamed across her cheeks and she frowned; a strange feeling rose in her gut.
I shouldn't have kissed him, she thought, studying the outline of his scar in the dark. I don't even know if I can trust him. All her doubts and fears came back to her in a sick, twisted manner, up through her stomach and into her throat.
"Fine," she agreed after a while, and honestly, she thought, it was against her better judgment. Her grandmother had always told her to look after herself, and here she was waltzing off with an enemy-turned-possible-ally. Zuko was more or less a stranger to her, even if she knew his name and his memorable face.
Then again…she thought of all the times over the past week that he'd actually helped her: twice with June, once with the drunken men, and altogether with finding Aang. She bit her lip, struggling between what she knew and what she didn't, what she hoped and what of which she was afraid.
Shaking her head, Katara willed away the tears that sprang to her eyes. This wasn't enough to cry over, so she didn't. As much as she hated the idea of paying a visit to Zuko's uncle while Aang was in Azula's clutches, she couldn't do much else.
She hated that she needed her friends; that she needed Zuko. She hated that she didn't know how to accomplish rescuing Aang and the others, even though she always tried to be optimistic. I'm strong, she thought. But strength is nothing without independence.
"You're sure?" Zuko asked, lowering his face to stare more directly into her eyes.
"Yes," she lied.
The next day, Katara discovered that while she needed her friends to help win the bigger battles, the smaller battles could be solved by herself.
The first example was the matter of getting to Ba Sing Se in a short amount of time. The waterbender remembered that she hadn't seen Momo or Appa when Azula had captured Aang and the others, which meant that Appa was close by, and probably not under lock-and-key like Sokka, Aang, and Toph.
Katara and Zuko took only a day's worth of travel to get to the Western Air temple; Zuko seemed to know better than Katara where to find it, which made her a little suspicious, but she said nothing. She called for Appa and heard a ginormous groan, and then the flying bison appeared out of nowhere with Momo at its side.
The enormous beast was happy to see a friend, and licked Katara once before allowing her to bend the saliva off of her body. Momo perched on her shoulder, to her surprise, and she laughed as she patted both of the animals in greeting.
Appa also decided that Zuko was okay to lick. "I am really starting to hate animal saliva," said the prince after the torturous ritual was complete. He attempted to wipe the sticky goop off of himself, to no avail, and Katara bent it off, sniggering.
Climbing into the bison's saddle, Katara waited for Zuko to join her before taking the reins and shouting, "Appa, yip yip!"
Grumbling, the creature lifted off from the earth, and Zuko thought he might be sick as he watched the ground grow farther and farther below him. Clutching at the side of the saddle, he turned to Katara and shouted, "How long is this going to take?"
"I don't know," replied the waterbender over her shoulder. "It depends on him, really." She gestured to Appa beneath her, and in response, he roared and picked up speed.
The prince was amazed that he was riding a flying bison that was probably the last flying bison, more than a hundred years old, and using him to travel to the Earth Kingdom. He fretted for a bit over how they would hide the Avatar's giant pet, but achieved calming himself when he remembered that Appa had stayed hidden right under Azula's vainglorious nose.
There was a fire starting inside of Katara, and she wasn't sure whether it was Zuko who was kindling it or herself, but she knew that she had to take action, take control; take the reins of the situation just like she'd taken the reins of the flying bison below her.
Comparatively, her situation was nothing like riding Appa, but she was inspired, and promised herself that she would rescue Aang.
Zuko slid next to her on the saddle and stared her in the face; she blushed, remembering the previous night. They'd shared quite the kiss, and it was obvious that he was going to talk about it. She braced herself, ignoring the fact that her stomach dropped and her heart leaped simultaneously – a bad thing and a good thing, this was. We'd have to talk about it sooner or later, she thought, staring back at the prince with a newfound calm.
He was stammering and hadn't really said anything important yet. She could tell that he had never tried to have a conversation like this, but she didn't move to interrupt him. Zuko was saying what needed to be said; she just hoped that it was what she wanted to hear.
"I-I don't think it was a good choice," mumbled the firebender as he looked away. "I mean, it was, uh, enjoyable, but—"
"I understand," Katara said, giving him the relief of not having to finish that incredibly awkward sentence. "And I agree, too."
Zuko breathed out heavily. "Really?" He still couldn't look at her; not because he was ashamed or embarrassed of what they'd done, but because the wind was blowing directly in his eyes and he wasn't exactly sure whether her feelings were hurt or not.
The waterbender confirmed that her feelings were indeed not hurt by smiling at him, then laughing as he blushed. "Really," she said. "It was a 'the-heat-of-the-moment' sort of thing. No harm done, right?"
"Right," he agreed, nodding vigorously. Somehow still, he couldn't quite shake the memory of the night before from his mind, but he said nothing, watching her profile as she gazed towards the sun.
Katara blinked and tried not to notice the weight of Zuko's eyes upon her face. It had been awhile since they'd taken off that morning; now the sun wasn't overhead anymore. Instead, it was setting, making the sky a bright red-orange.
She stared at the clouds and the sea below her, trying to purge her own memories of the previous night by pondering what might've happened if she'd stayed at the temple; if she'd been with her friends when they were caught. Would they have stood more of a chance? Would they have stood less of a chance? Katara didn't know, and that was what frightened her most.
Glancing at Zuko, she cleared her throat and said, "Are you getting tired?"
"No," he said slowly, as if he wasn't really sure. And he wasn't; the prince could see the shore of the nearest Earth Kingdom towns and villages on the horizon, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to wait until he saw his uncle to sleep, or to take a quick nap before he arrived.
Ultimately, he decided to stay awake, and they were getting closer and closer to the big city. He remained silent as they passed over houses and people alike, watching the little figures hustling and bustling about around town, trying to get everything done before nightfall.
The prince smiled lazily, trying not to doze off until Katara gave him something to focus on. Unfortunately, it was an uncomfortable subject, but it allowed him to stay conscious.
"Why didn't you just tell me what your plans with Aang were, when we got away from June the first time?" Katara asked quietly.
Almost too tired to even respond, Zuko figured he could do it honestly. Looking at her for a moment, he said, "I guess…I guess I was a little embarrassed. I wasn't sure if you guys would let me join you after…" he trailed off, looking away.
"Well, you were right," she replied, laughing. "I wasn't going to let you anywhere near Aang."
"I know," he said. "But now you will?"
She looked at him with a glint in her eye, as if she were hiding something. Nodding, Katara said, "Like I said, you're not so bad."
The firebender sat up, staring at the girl in front of him as if she'd just grown a third arm. "You're actually going to try and help me? After everything I did?"
"You've changed," she sighed. "I can see it. It's in the way you talk. You don't talk about him like he's an object to be obtained, but rather a person to befriend."
Zuko blinked. "I really did think of him as an object, didn't I?"
Katara nodded. "Also, he actually does need a firebending teacher. As much as I hate to admit, I'm pretty sure you're the only one who's available to teach him. We don't exactly have enough time to wander around the whole of the Fire Nation looking for a firebender that won't report the Avatar's presence to the palace…"
"So it's my lucky day," Zuko joked, smiling. "Except for the part where you don't trust me."
The lightness of the air around them turned into a sober mood, and Katara looked at the prince grimly. "I don't," she admitted. "I mean, you tried to hurt Aang and the rest of us on multiple occasions. I know you had your reasons, but…I have mine."
"I understand," Zuko replied, his voice rasping as if he'd spent his entire life inhaling the smoke that came away whenever he raised a fiery hand to something that he hated. "It's astonishing, how much I understand."
She could hear it in his voice, see it in his eyes; Zuko was desperately clinging to anything that he thought would redeem the awful things he'd done. Remembering the way he'd felt against her last night, Katara shuddered with something that stood between sympathy and empathy.
She remembered his mouth, angry as it met with her own. His lips had been hungry, heavy on hers just as his heart was weighed down. She could feel the burden he bore, just as easily as she was being crushed underneath her own uncertainty.
Katara could shrug and the weight of her small, fragile world would roll around on her shoulders, but it stayed the same. The price stayed the same; she worried, she feared, she doubted, she cried. Try as she might, she could not escape from the responsibility that had been forced onto her with the discovery of Aang.
It wasn't a bad responsibility, but it was costly. And she understood wholeheartedly that Zuko carried a burden similar in size to her own, but it was filled with more guilt and lies than she could ever dream of.
The Fire Nation killed my mother, she used to say. But, looking at Zuko, the prince of the Fire Nation (banished as he may be), she amended that previous mantra. Something like compassion crawled up through her lungs and into her throat, and she thought, No. The Fire Lord killed my mother.
The most amazing thing she realized that day, though, was the fact that Zuko was Ozai's son. It was beyond her, how such an awful, evil man could have created such a beautiful boy.
Author's Note: Hey guys XD I just wanted to say, thank you for all of the reviews/follows/favorites. I wouldn't be as inspired to write this if you guys weren't being so awesome. I know that this chapter will probably seem like a lot is being swept under the rug, but that'll be taken care of in the next chapter ;)
