AN: stop flaming ok! Nope. I dntn red all da boox! Oh, that definitely explains a lot. dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! Not your fault? Right, because your computer turns itself on at night and writes this story without your knowledge. besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX! I don't even-
I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. Um. Ew.
Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! Everything in the entire world was flying towards you? Oh, goodness gracious! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was... Drum roll please! Voldemort! Wow, just like Voldemort in the movie! Interesting!
"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.
"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Um, why? Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. Again, why? Crookshanks isn't a spell. It's the name of Hermione's, sorry, I mean B'loody Mary's cat. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.
"Ebony. *Evony" he yelled. "Thou Thou? You can barely spell regular words, yet you use thou? must kill Vampire Potter!" But I always thought Voldemort had to be the one to kill Harry!
I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? Exactly. Now you're thinking logically.
"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.
Voldemort gave me a gun. What? You guys are freaking wizards! You have wands! Use them! "No! Please!" I begged.
"Thou must! Again with the thou…" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"
"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. Dude. You're standing in the exact spot where you shagged him the previous day. I'm sure he can smell Draco's sperm embedded in the poor tree.
Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. Don't worry, Voldy. I feel your pain. "I hath telekinesis. Telekinesis is when you can move things with your mind. I think the word you're looking for is telepaty." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.
I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.
"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" You seem awfully happy for being extremely scared and mad.
"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) No, actually I don't. between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"No." he answered.
"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.
"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. You were walking while making out? Wow, that's a pretty big talent. Perhaps you should join a talent show one day!
