Greetings Good Readers. With this chapter things start to go weird for our intrepid duo. Mwahahahahahahahaha Sorry for the delay and I hope you like this opening salvo so to speak. Thank you to all those who've supported me in one way or another. You make writing more than worth it. Have a great day all and cheers.


Human Customs

Garrus

Everyone swung around at that, hands going to weapons though they all managed to stop themselves from pulling them. Even Pallin had reached for his pistol – you could never quite take the detective out of the Executor.

A small, slender human male, dressed rather simply, though in expensive fabrics, was standing just inside the curtains. Behind him, Garrus recognized the two assistants that Velten had sent to the docks earlier, behind them were Jordan, Robert, and Velten.

"Designer Garr." Pallin answered Garrus's unspoken question.

"Executor Pallin." The man stepped further inside. "Is there a reason that you're afraid your officers won't represent C-Sec at its best?"

Garr was soft spoken, for a human; and he didn't seem to be angry at Pallin; but he obviously wanted an answer.

Pallin stood for a moment clearly trying to figure out how to phrase his protest; but before he could Garr caught sight of the 'supposed' C-Sec outfits.

"Velten, what are those…costumes?"

"Those are the C-Sec outfits." Here she grew a little snippy. "The Executor doesn't think they're fitting for his people to wear."

"He's right." Garr barely let her finish. "Jordan, Robert, I told you to design outfits that showcased the attributes of each race. Those…" He indicated the costumes with a sweeping gesture, and a slight frown, "look more like you were basing them off stereotypes."

The two men looked at each other and seemed not to know what to say.

"We will talk about this after the shoot." Garr told them. His voice was firm but there wasn't any real menace in it; and he didn't elaborate on anything. Obviously keeping what was a private matter private.

"What can we do to your officer's armor or uniforms?" Instantly dismissing the matter from his mind, Garr turned to Pallin.

"Do in what way, Designer?" Pallin was confused

"Just call me Narren. I'm assuming we can't cut into any of the uniforms." It was more of a statement than a question.

"No." Pallin paused. "However, if you are looking for something fancier, we do have a dress uniform that we hardly ever wear." Pallin went on as he called up an image on his omni-tool.

The dress uniform was far more severely tailored and predominantly blue with touches of black. An officer's rank, grade, awards, and/or specialties were embroidered in colored and metallic threads on a drape that hung over the shoulders.

Garr looked pleased on seeing that. "That would do nicely if you'll allow your people to wear it."

"Do you want everyone in it?"

"I would like the humans, Asari, and Salarians in them." Garr told him. "I know it's rather stereotypical but would you mind if the Turians stayed in their armor?"

Pallin looked as relieved as Garrus was. He hadn't been looking forward to putting on his dress uniform. It was constricting and it made his neck itch; and he always managed to catch his drape on or in something.

"Stupid drapes always get hung up." Teskal muttered and got a clic of agreement from Garrus.

"No that would be perfectly reasonable. I can send Johnson, Timmons, Hass, Polten, T'Harna, and Felisa back to get on their dress uniforms." Pallin told him then turned on Garrus and Chellick. "Vakarian and Chellick can go get their armor cleaned and polished." He paused and eyed them sternly. "Completely cleaned and thoroughly polished."

Garrus was fairly sure that was directed at him. He cleaned his armor; but he didn't expend effort to get it nice and shiny. Shiny on a battlefield, even a back alley one, could get you killed. While he was patrolling the lower wards he wouldn't take any chances. Pallin, however, had never walked the lower wards.

"If your officers can meet us at the tent that would be perfect." Garr went on. "We'll put their makeup on there."

Getting ready to leave, Johnson, Garrus, Chellick, and the two Salarians froze.

"M..makeup?" That was Johnson. "Why do we need makeup."

"You have to match the models so that everyone in the photos looks good." Garr explained cheerfully as he shooed them out of the tent.

With resigned sighs, everyone headed out. Garrus and Chellick going back to C-Sec headquarters and down into the depths of the enormous building where the armory was located. It was noisy on that level as weapons were designed, fabricated, tested, repaired, and disposed of if not repairable. The side corridor where armor assembly, maintenance, and repair was located was quieter though not by much.

There wasn't anybody using the armor cleaning units so Garrus and Chellick stripped down to their under suits, emptied their armor storage chambers and put their suits in to be cleaned and buffed.

Chellick had apparently appropriated a few Chetes and he shared them with Garrus as they waited.

"Do you think we should clean our under suits?" Chellick asked around a mouthful of Chetes.

Garrus took in their outfits. "I think we should get new ones."

"I can't afford a new suit." Chellick protested, damn near spitting out his snack.

"We can borrow some of the spare suits and maybe get to keep them if we claim we're doing Council work." Garrus suggested.

"All right; but if Pallin gets mad – I'm blaming you."

While their armor was being detailed they went next door to the spares room, where extra armor from full suits to separate pieces, and spare under suits were kept. Their C-Sec clearance, installed on their omni-tools gained them entry, it also recorded what they had taken. It was the new recruits and independent contractors that had to deal with a live disbursement agent.

It only took them a few moments to find new suits in their sizes and change over.

Garrus actually sighed at the new feel of his suit. There was just something about a new under suit that made one feel good. It was tight in the places it needed to be and loose in the places it should be. Unlike his old suit, which had begun to sag ever so slightly under his armpits; making his armor pieces rub a bit.

By the time they were finished, their armor was also done. Their armor was now clean and very shiny, enough so that it made Garrus slightly uneasy to be wearing it as they quickly got it back on.

From there they made their way up to the garage. They passed through the lobby and Garrus was dismayed to notice that there were still several naked humans, in survival blankets, being escorted in by C-Sec agents. Pallin was not going to like that; and when he didn't like something – he tended to share his displeasure with as many as he could. Putting that to the back of his mind, Garrus and Chellick continued on to the garage. Taking an air car over to the site of the photo shoot at a secondary Presidium lake.

If it had looked busy the day before now it looked like a small riot was going on. A couple of tents of varying sizes had been set up back from the shores of the lake; and people were coming and going.

Pallin hadn't quite ringed the area with officers but it was a near thing. A crowd was already gathered watching. This was probably the most excitement in this area for some time, baring that protest march against humans a couple of years ago. Given the number of humans scurrying around, Garrus was glad that those particular anti-human protestors had been firmly encouraged to leave the Citadel.

Garrus set the sky car down in the parking area that the traffic officer directed them to. As they exited the car, he noticed another C-Sec sky car circling to land, Timmons piloting with Johnson, T'Harna and Felisa as passengers. Knowing Hass and Polten, they were probably somewhere around.

He and Chellick waited for the others. They were all wearing their dress uniforms; but he was amused to see that every one of them was carrying their drapes instead of wearing them. Obviously he wasn't the only one who found those drapes an annoyance.

"Anyone with any common sense does." Teskal muttered into his drink.

What number this one was, Garrus wasn't totally sure; nor, he slowly realized, did he really care. Thinking of tomorrow, he signaled for a glass of water. He'd still be hung over but maybe it wouldn't be quite so lethal.

They all made their way towards the temporary stairs down to the tents. Things like this had to obviously be temporary or the Keepers would start dismantling them. Jannz and his partner showed up. They acknowledged each other as they all queued up in the line that had formed.

"I hear there are still naked humans being brought in. I thought you talked to the head of this convention about the nudity?" Jannz commented.

"We did." Garrus gave an irritated hum. "It looks like he either didn't hear or wasn't going to hear no matter what."

"I hear that Pallin complained to some of the higher ups." David commented, undoing the collar on his uniform.

"Did that do any good?" Chellick asked, shuffling forward.

"They said they'd get back to him." Amy spoke up.

They all looked at each other, knowing what that meant. Someone would get back to Pallin after the convention was over and the delegates had dispersed.

"Be glad it's only single humans wandering around the Citadel." David told them. "It could be a flash mob of streakers."

"What's a flash mob?" That was Jannz.

"And what are streakers?" Garrus didn't like the sound of that.

"A flash mob is a group of random strangers that answer a anonymous general call at a certain time and in a certain place to do something – be it dancing, or singing, or maybe streaking." Amy told them.

"Streakers are naked humans that run through an area – usually in the middle of some kind of event." David added, chuckling.

Garrus repressed a shudder at the idea of a whole crowd of naked humans racing around the concourse with C-Sec in pursuit.

Jannz's partner had stopped on the stairs and the others almost ran into his back.

"Mosk, will you move." Felisa the Asari growled at him.

Mosk pointed across the way to the park that followed the edge of the lake.

"Like that?"

Their heads all snapped up as the mixed yells of C-Sec to stop, and startled and alarmed cries from passer bys carried across the lake to them. There in the park was a large crowd of, Garrus groaned, very naked humans running for all they were worth; with C-Sec pursuing. A couple of the fleeter officers had caught up with the stragglers but it was obvious that they weren't sure how to catch them. All the easy handles were situated in places you really didn't want to grab on a complete stranger.

Teskal snorted again, this time without choking on his drink.

"That wasn't the worst of it." Garrus said sourly

"Oh?"

Garrus had absolutely no desire to go help his fellow officers. He'd already dealt with naked humans, it was somebody else's turn.

Activity down at the tents had ground to a halt as everyone turned to watch the spectacle going on across the lake.

"Pallin is going to have a cow." David whistled.

"What would he do with a prey animal?" Chellick was confused.

"Means he'll be very upset." Amy explained, as Garrus picked up the excited bellows of a couple of distant Krogan.

"Oh no!" Teskal exclaimed.

"Oh Goddess!" That was T'Harna looking back further in the park.

"What are you…." Amy trailed off, her mouth open. Suddenly she spotted what T'Harma had seen and she clapped both hands over her eyes. "TMI, TMI, TMI."

"TMI?" Chellick started to ask her when suddenly he let out a startled chirp. Garrus glanced across the lake knowing what he was going to see; and wishing fervently he wasn't going to.

The excited bellows grew louder then resolved itself into taunting as two Krogan came barreling through the park, more C-Sec in pursuit.

They were very large, one grey and one a green color, armed with their standard shotguns; and wearing absolutely nothing else but an ammo bandoleer. They were completely, shockingly naked.

After a long silent moment David spoke up in an awed voice. "I always thought that quad thing was a joke."